There was once such a boy in my world, he sacrificed everything to fulfill one of my dreams, and now I want to exchange my qiē for a chance to rub shoulders with him - Ji Ruo

"Lu Xi, I regret it, I don't want you to be the boss of the underworld, don't you do it again, okay?"

"It's useless, Ruo'er, I've been dyed black, how can I change back to before, I can only continue, I can only continue. ”

I've never loved anyone, so I don't know how to love someone, I don't know how to share his pain and exhaustion, all I can do is comfort, use my words that have no effect in exchange for his momentary peace, Lu Xi is right, he really can't get out, it's a big dye vat, as long as you go in, you will never get out, even if you come out, sooner or later you will die there. Only now did I know how ridiculous the idea of "marrying a gangster" was, but I couldn't laugh because the person I loved was on this path, and the reason he was so determined was my ridiculous wish. In the past, I only saw on TV the bloody plot of unintentional harm between lovers that made each other irreparable, but I didn't expect me to be so lucky to catch up with the trend, but my luck is Lu Xi's misfortune. I have never felt so hateful, Luo Chen said that I was too selfish, many people said that I was too selfish, I always laughed it off, now I understand, what Luo Chen said is right, because of my selfishness, Lu Xi never looked back.

I begged Lu Xi to stop, and even gambled with my life, but I lost, and that night I did the first stupid thing in my life, slitting my wrists and committing suicide. I watched my blood stain the sheets and the floor, and I hoped to wake up Lu Xi with my life and make him stop there, but I didn't succeed. When I opened my eyes, I saw Luo Chen's haggard face, he was so excited, he grabbed my hand tightly, and asked me over and over again if he was dreaming. I barely managed to put on a smile that I thought was beautiful, and from Luo Chen's expression I knew that I had failed again. We just looked at each other in silence, I didn't ask him where Lu Xi was, he didn't ask me why I did it, and in the end he broke the strange silence. He said that he hated Lu Xi, even to the point of disgust, but he couldn't hate him, Lu Xi was the only person in his life who hated but couldn't stay away, Luo Chen said that his feelings about Lu Xi were complicated, he hated himself like this, which made him not know what he should do. Luo Chen said that he saw Lu Xi fighting with someone again that day, his skills were very good, and he subdued the other party in three or two strokes, so he suspected what we saw before, even if the other party had the advantage in numbers, he also had the ability to escape, instead of being beaten, from this moment on, he had to doubt Lu Xi, when he saw Lu Xi snatching the dagger from the other party's hand and plunging it into the other party's waist, he finally couldn't help but ask, "Lu Xi, what is your purpose, and what is human life in your eyes?" At that time, Lu Xi let go of the murderer's hand and turned to look at Luo Chen, and gave him a smile without warmth, "What is human life in my eyes, you know best, don't you?" Luo Chen, I dare if you don't dare to do it, so you are destined not to get what you want, in this life, you are destined to be my subordinate defeat, no matter whose life it is, you can only be a supporting role." ”

"Is it worth it for him?"

"As long as he can stop, it's worth it. ”

"Xiao Ruo, you are still so selfish, he worked hard to climb to the current position for one of your wishes, how much he paid you can never imagine, you think that he can't let go of the current one, so you selfishly regard yourself as his savior, and use all means to force him to give up, after all, you still don't understand him, for you he can step on the blood of others and himself on this road, or you can turn back for you without caring about anything, in the end what he wants is just your life Chang'an. ”

"Luo Chen, you are not him, how can you know what he thinks, if he loves me so much as you said, why don't you listen to me and stop doing those things, why is you by my side now but not him, you say I am selfish, then what about him, I am more and more unclear whether he is on this road because I am on this road or because of his ambition, because he wants Lu Xi, who was once treated as a dog, to stand on everyone's head. "I think it's really easy to change my nature, I'm still so selfish, even if I know that a qiē started because of me, I still refuse to admit my mistakes, I refuse to admit that I forced Lu Xi to a dead end, so why didn't I die, and how can I be worthy of Lu Xi's love?

"I understand him, because I feel the same way as him, except that he did those things one step earlier than me, and entered the deepest part of your heart one step earlier. Xiao Ruo, if you really love him, stay by his side, he can't stop, you can walk with him, even if there is a cliff in front of you, at least you won't be alone. At this moment, I found that I didn't know Luo Chen anymore, or that he was no longer the Luo Chen I knew, not because of the sudden confession, but because I had never seen Luo Chen's pretended strength and so lonely back, as if he had lost a qiē support, but he had to use disguise to protect the broken heart, tears came out of his eyes at this moment, it turned out that crying can be so easy. I decided to do what Luo Chen said, he was right, since Lu Xi can't stop, then I will accompany him, even if what awaits us is hell, I am also willing, my greatest wish is to be with him for the rest of my life, never give up.

When I told him that I wouldn't do anything stupid to stop him, I saw his smile, not a smile that I pretended to make peace of mind, nor a sneer when facing the enemy, but a sincere smile from the heart, that smile was beautiful, even after so long and so long, every time I think of this smile, I laugh and cry. After that, Lu Xi didn't come back until late every day, sometimes he came back and I already slept, and then the next day I didn't wake up and left again, I no longer asked him what he did, where he went, who he met, he no longer hid from me where I was hurt, he would sleep on my shoulder when he was tired, he would eat the half-baked fried eggs I made, he would bring me small gifts, he would call me in front of me and say something I didn't understand, he would hug me and comfort me softly, "Don't worry, I'll be back soon". If he can't come back before ten o'clock in the evening, he will definitely let Luo Chen come back to accompany me first, and the next day I will find his apology gift at the bedside, such a day is easy and comfortable, sometimes I think that it is the perfect ending for us to keep going on like this. A few days before my birthday, Lu Xi no longer went home, I asked Luo Chen, he said that Lu Xi was making the final preparations for getting rid of those, he wanted to get rid of those people and those things before my birthday, and then he could accompany me to go shopping, watch movies, eat snacks, go to self-study, do homework, accompany me to spend every year's birthday, watch the sunrise and moon set every day, the flowers of each season bloom, and the brilliant starry sky every night.