After tossing countless backs and forths in my heart, like a tug-of-war on Shangganling, I finally persuaded myself to open up a new life. really took action, Liu Yiyi turned back one step at a time. In the past few years, Qin Yixing has taken care of himself too thoughtfully, even a bottle of shampoo and a box of medicine were bought with a message, and the yogurt and fruit have not been broken all year round. Who else would be so nice to themselves? Qin Yixing raised his eyes again, and wanted to find a similar man, no. In the past, Liu Yiyi thought that she didn't look for it seriously, but if she looked for it carefully, she would definitely have it. I've been serious in the past few months, and I've found a lot of opportunities to meet people. Ballrooms, sororities, fellow countrymen, still no, no one can enter their hearts. She reported the situation to Qin Yixing one by one, saying, "You hurt people, you hurt people!" Qin Yixing said: "How can you use me as a benchmark to find it?" How old am I and how old are they? Whoever succeeds has a process. This makes sense, but it doesn't work. It's like a person who has lived in a good house and then lives in an old house, as awkward as it is. If you want to force yourself to accept someone, memory will push him outward, and you can't get into your heart. Who is strong enough to cover Qin Yixing, and Xia Weikai? The imprint they have left on their bodies and minds is too deep, what is the meaning of the sea? His own tragedy is doomed, and if he really finds a boyfriend in the future, his tragedy is also doomed. That's how love dies. In the past few years, Liu Yiyi has been accustomed to dependence, and all the big and small problems have been handed over to Qin Yixing to solve, and he can indeed be said to be meticulous. In addition to dependence, there is also attachment, a dual attachment of mind and body, and it is really necessary to separate before that attachment is strongly felt. Liu Yiyi saw a pig killed when she was a child, and a piece of skin was bloody and peeled off. Now I'm like the skin that is about to be peeled off, it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, but Liu Yiyi knows that no matter how painful it is, she has to peel it off, and she can't delay, otherwise it will hurt more and be more miserable. Everyone on campus is singing "your heart is too soft" and "you should always think about the future for yourself". It's time to think about it, you can't think about it, you don't want to think about it now, and it's too late to think about it in the future. In any case, I still have to have a family with a child, and the best time is delayed, and I can't afford to delay it anymore. Miao Xiaohui is right, the marriage certificate is a piece of paper, it is naïve to say this at the age of twenty, it is hypocrisy at the age of twenty-five, and it is also said at the age of thirty that it is to fight for face, and it is very helpless. Liu Yiyi didn't want to wait for the day of helplessness, it was the total passivity of life, and Ah Yu was a lesson from the past. Thirty years old, four years and two months to go, I have to pinch my fingers and count the days.

And Qin Yixing's emotions towards her also made her have to think about the future. In the first two years, he had to send 20 or 30 messages a day, but now he has seven or eight. If she doesn't send it, he won't send it. Fashionable lingerie excites him for a while, and then flattens. Liu Yiyi said: "Why are you so cruel to me now? Is chewing gum chewing for three years and not tasteful? Qin Yixing said: "That's also for your good." "Maybe it's true, maybe it's fake, it doesn't matter, anyway, the result is the only one: zero.

Liu Yiyi made up her mind to break through, rush out of her attachment to Qin Yixing, and pursue her own life. I rushed a few times, failed, but I had to keep rushing. Thinking like this, she felt that she had rushed out, and she could survive without Qin Yixing. What's more, Qin Yixing also promised that he would still be responsible for her tuition and living expenses before no one else bore it. Liu Yiyi felt that this was his goodness, and it was also the reason why it was so difficult for him to rush out. Liu Yiyi has no hope for love, and doesn't believe that she will have real passion for anyone after all this. During the day, she walked on campus with a lunch box, looking at so many faces in the hustle and bustle, and sang in her heart: "Love is gone, love is gone, do you want to be hollow?" She knew that all she had left was a shell, that her heart was empty and could no longer be ignited. A boyfriend must be found, and there will still be emotions, but it is more hypocritical and performance-like passion. He is a person who has retreated from the love field, and it is inevitable that the other party is the same, with too many memories, physical, emotional memories, and they come together with a rational need. Ah Yu said that more and more men and women are coming together, which has the meaning of partnership. Being able to be together is the highest expectation, where can you dare to imagine innocence? Pure love does not care about gains and losses, and partnerships must calculate the accounts clearly, perhaps this is the new law of love in the market era. It's different, black and white. Is it possible to enjoy a harmonious family life while settling accounts? Alas, the quality of modern marriage has been greatly reduced, and it is no wonder that so many people divorce and break up if the partnership does not work! Those most basic expectations in life, finding someone who truly loves them, have become extravagant hopes, fantasies and dreams. unwilling, only willing; If you can't figure it out, you can only figure it out. This is not only an awareness of life, but also a bitter sadness. In this age of freedom, people have unconsciously become skeptics and fall into essential loneliness.

The heart is extremely cold, but there is a little warmth, a little expectation. This is the glimmer of light that occurs when you look into the light from the deepest depths of darkness. There is a man who doesn't dare to think that he doesn't have overlapping memories in his heart, and he doesn't dare to think that he doesn't have two hearts for himself, as long as he doesn't abandon and never leave, and remembers that there is a home, a woman and a child waiting for him, such as Qin Yixing, then it's okay. How much hope can be held out? Thinking like this, Liu Yiyi felt a kind of relief, a kind of relief. All the romance and poetry dare not imagine, and all I hope for is only that glimmer of light.

Pessimistic, extremely pessimistic. But that doesn't stop her from taking action. Liu Yiyi is very sober at this point, if she lingers in this mood, the pessimism of the soul will bring the pessimism of reality. It's not old yet, and it's not old enough to feel embarrassed and embarrassed. Thinking of being coquettish, she paused in her heart for a moment, imagining what it would be like to be coquettish in the arms of another man? Will he sneer in his heart? She took apart the word "sneer" and pondered it repeatedly in her heart, feeling that this word was really amazing. The pace of time is getting shorter, but there is still time. Liu Yiyi once again felt God's cruelty to women, and while the men were still strolling around, the women had to hurry.

Several times, Liu Yiyi wanted to be angry, so she just found someone to marry. I thought again, if I don't look for it, let's see what Qin Yixing will do. But she knew in her heart that this anger was not to be gambled, and the person who lost was not someone else, but herself. Can I still learn from Anna Karenina and touch a man's remorse with my own life? What's more, if you gamble all your life, how much regret will others have?

There is no point in being angry, there must be action. This weekend, she didn't take the initiative to find Qin Yixing, waiting for Qin Yixing to come to her, and waited in the dormitory until eight o'clock, she was disappointed and went to the dance hall. Lucky that night, Liu Yiyi met a man who could still be seen, claiming to be a doctor from the School of Mechanical Engineering of Lucheng University, named Mao Guojun, after he danced with her, he came to invite her every time the music sounded. Mao Guojun jumped very well and was very good at leading people. Especially dancing the waltz, Liu Yiyi felt the music seep into her skin, jumping in her body, and the rapid rotation threw all her thoughts out along the tangent, leaving only joy and joy. After dancing this song, they simply stood together, and the two were talking, Liu Yiyi felt very good, but this feeling reminded her of her calmness. Experience has taught her that the more she is at this time, the more calm she becomes, after all, it is no longer the age to follow her feelings. When the dance was over, he asked her for her phone number, and she hesitated to tell him. She herself didn't understand whether the momentary hesitation was a protective instinct or a predetermined implication. That night he sent a message, "Give me a chance to get close to you." She wrote back, "I don't want to delay your time." Then came a bunch of messages, "I have a feeling of being ignited", "The crowd is looking for her thousands of times", and so on. Liu Yiyi was not ignited, but the reply message inevitably brought a color, which corresponded to Dr. Mao's enthusiasm. After meeting in the ballroom another weekend, they went out for a walk halfway through the dance. The moonlight on campus was a reason, and the shadow of the tree was also a reason, and he came to take her hand, and she complied. As he spoke, he put his arm around her waist, and she flashed slightly. He withdrew his hand and said, "Why can't you do it here?" "Liu Yiyi actually doesn't matter, let alone hugging her waist, it doesn't matter. I've already experienced a few men, so what about one more? But what she wants is to seriously find someone, not a game. The game can be indifferent, you can have a one-night stand tonight, and you can't be serious like this. She didn't want him to look down on herself, that could be a lifetime impression. After Dr. Mao went back, he sent her a lot of messages, "I want to say out loud to you that millions of people have said millions of times over the centuries, I love you!" "You're the only girl in the world who can inspire my evil thoughts." Wait a minute. Liu Yiyi was a little shaken in her mind, and she had fantasies, a lot, a lot. Indeed, there is no passion without illusions. But then she sneered in her heart, these words may have all the power for a girl who has not been deeply involved in the world, but they have limited meaning to herself, almost cliché, and he still uses it as a sharp weapon. What Liu Yiyi cares about is, is Mao Guojun really called Mao Guojun? Is it a Ph.D. from the School of Mechanics? To figure out these most basic information, Liu Yiyi felt very difficult. She thought it was funny, but in this information age. As for what kind of emotional experience he had, what state he is in now, and what he really thinks about himself, it is even more unclear. Liu Yiyi decided not to succumb to these unfounded passions, only girls with meningitis would be hot-headed.

If you don't want to be serious, it doesn't matter who he is, what kind of past he has, what he thinks about the future, as long as he looks pleasing to the eye, there is nothing impossible. Liu Yiyi knows a girl with a good family background, very beautiful, who has been defeated from the love field, no longer has any illusions about love, and is at ease with the man, not only does not want to reciprocate, but also rushes to pay the bill when she goes to the restaurant to eat or go to the hotel to open a room, so that the men lose their judgment and imagination of the world. Liu Yiyi doesn't want to be so chic, it will be a dead end if she goes on like that. Men are very realistic, if you don't have youth, he won't have emotions to associate with you, and he won't have emotions when they eat together in private. She had heard Qin Yixing say several times that he was reluctant to eat alone with women in their thirties unless it was necessary for work, and he said that he had no responsibility to make that kind of sacrifice. What do the men think, Liu Yiyi knows very well from Qin Yixing, as well as from Xia Weikai and A Pei. Bergman, who was very glamorous for a while, was also so lonely in his later years. Isn't she a heartthrob? Where have all the people who have lost her gone? This is the reality, those love songs that are hummed every day are not right here. Romance can't be created out of thin air, it needs premise, it needs capital, this is your own youth, and everything else is superfluous. How realistic romance is! Because of this, I have to seize the time now. She hates time, time is like a wolf, chasing herself so much that she doesn't even have time to stop and pee. Now that I think about it, what a precious three years I spent with Qin Yixing!

Liu Yiyi thought about it again and again, and finally came up with an idea, pretending to be the accountant of the finance department, and using a magnetic card to call the Student Work Office of the Institute of Mechanical Engineering on the public phone, asking for Mao Guojun. The other party said that Mao Guojun was not there. Liu Yiyi put down the microphone and put her heart at ease. At the moment when she pulled out the magnetic card, her heart hung again, who can guarantee that this Mao Guojun is the real Mao Guojun? He said that he was helping his boss with research and lived on the base, so the school didn't have a house, which was a bit strange. Experience has taught her that something strange is never a good thing, and there are strange reasons. She thought about it, and dialed the phone number of the Student Work Office again, saying that she was looking for Mao Guojun in an urgent matter and asked him what his phone number was. The other party gave her a number, and she immediately dialed it, and it was a woman who answered. Liu Yiyi said that she had found a mistake, so she hung up the phone, pulled out the magnetic card, raised her face, made a grimace at the sky, and snorted vigorously with her nose. In the evening, Mao Guojun sent a message and said something warm, and wanted to take her to Lucheng Hotel for dinner. Liu Yiyi thought, but she didn't say anything about opening the house, so she wrote back: "You take your wife!" There was no reply for a while, Liu Yiyi thought that he was hesitating, and thought that he would ignore himself. Finally wrote back: "Can't our feelings be free?" Why should we be interfered with by a third party? Liu Yiyi looked at the word "freedom", smiled contemptuously, and thought about the word "third party", thinking to himself, his wife was sitting under the lamp waiting for him to go back at the moment, but she didn't know that she was already a third party, haha, haha. She wrote back, "Say what you said to me to those silly girls, and wish you success." She had a strong sense that he would succeed.