Liu Yiyi didn't know if she should be serious about her feelings. If you are serious, you will be hurt, if you are not serious, then what else is there to look forward to in life? She doesn't love anyone anymore, so she has a detached attitude towards love. Who will love herself, Liu Yiyi still has hope. If there is no hope for this, then the world is too colorless, and I really don't know how to get by in this life. After all, she is a woman, she needs someone to love herself, she needs it so much, what woman doesn't regard love as the sustenance of life? She was so aware of her existential predicament.

Thinking so, Liu Yiyi felt that her thoughts were illogical. Since you don't have a sincere love for anyone, how can you expect anyone to have this sincerity for yourself? If there are only a few fragments left of his emotions, who will be so complete? Thinking about it this way, Liu Yiyi felt that she was simply thinking about money wholeheartedly, and there were still some real things there, and she really didn't dare to imagine the truth. She remembered that Qin Yixing told herself that one of his friends was a small leader of an oil company, the section chief, and once said to everyone during a meal together: "My daughter graduated from college this year, please introduce a boyfriend, it doesn't matter if you're divorced, it doesn't matter if you're an old man, it doesn't matter if you're married, it doesn't matter if you're a second wife, as long as you have money, you have money, you have money, money, money." "People think like this, why can't they think like this? Thinking about it along this road, Liu Yiyi is really unwilling, no matter how she says it, she is not going to be hungry, she is still a person who wants to talk about some emotions and feelings, and she also needs a sense of security. Even Miao Xiaohui said that she wanted to find someone with sincerity.

Speaking of sincerity, Liu Yiyi remembered one person, and that was Song Xusheng. He now works at a chemical research institute. In the past four or five years, he has called or messaged several times a year, asking if he can be nice with her. But Liu Yiyi didn't seriously consider him, and always deleted him first in every comparison. Song Xusheng's family is in the countryside, and the family depends on him, but he can't make any progress. Jumping out of the research institute to run a company, failed, and still owed debts. A little stuff in the dormitory, stolen. That year, he was hospitalized with tuberculous pleurisy, and Song Xusheng came to see him several times, sent a thousand paper cranes, and gave him 400 yuan. Four hundred yuan, Song Xusheng used the strength of an ox to pull a plow, but what can he do with this money? You can pay for one day's hospitalization. Choosing a man is choosing a way of life, marrying Song Xusheng is equivalent to marrying poverty, Liu Yiyi can't accept it. Liu Yiyi admits that she is greedy for enjoyment and likes good clothes and houses. She was afraid of being poor, and under the care of Qin Yixing, she lived a carefree past few years, and was used to the days of gymnastics, beauty, and shopping malls. If a woman doesn't like bodybuilding, beauty, or good clothes, then where is her interest? Liu Yiyi has observed Song Xusheng for several years, and has never promised anything about his pursuit, but selfishly secretly hopes that he will be developed. However, year after year, there has never been good news, and Liu Yiyi has despaired. Thinking like this, Liu Yiyi still sent a message to Song Xusheng, asking him "How are you doing?" and he replied, "It's still the same". Liu Yiyi typed the words "study hard and make progress every day" on her mobile phone, hesitated when the button was issued, and deleted it.

That afternoon, Liu Yiyi was in Kangding, sleeping on the bed and calling Qin Yixing, but he didn't answer, and replied to a letter saying "meeting", so he turned off the phone. Liu Yiyi was holding her mobile phone and was stunned, and Miao Xiaohui called and said, "I saw your reporter." Liu Yiyi said: "He's in a meeting." Miao Xiaohui said: "I'm sitting in my friend's car now, and I saw him, he was on the top of the foothills, not alone." Liu Yiyi tightened in her heart and said, "How many people? Miao Xiaohui said: "Two people, that person is very beautiful." Look, take his arm. Look, I went into the woods. Look, look, I can't see it, maybe I've gone to a meeting somewhere no one. Liu Yiyi's mind buzzed for a while and said, "Xiaohui, do you see clearly?" There may also be people who look alike. Miao Xiaohui said: "It may be." And he said, "Is it the same with the license plate number?" "Report the license plate number to Liu Yiyi. Liu Yiyi said: "Actually, I should have thought of it a long time ago. ”

Liu Yiyi said to herself in her heart: "Actually, I should have thought of it a long time ago." Half a year ago, Qin Yixing was promoted to the deputy boss of Satellite TV, and the two of them also went to Heyun to drink red wine to celebrate. More than two months ago, when Satellite TV celebrated its fifth anniversary, Liu Yiyi begged Bai Lai to go and see it, saying: "Who knows who I am with so many guests?" "I asked for an invitation and went. During the dinner, Liu Yiyi saw so many beauties toasting Qin Yixing, one by one, "Mr. Qin, Mr. Qin", smiling brightly, charming, very awkward, and a little ashamed, if only she looked so beautiful. Liu Yiyi also has two little beauties at this table, one has just graduated from Beiguang, and the other has not yet graduated from Zhejiang. When they went to another table to toast, Liu Yiyi heard two men next to her discussing: "These little stunners, they will definitely not be idle there, I don't know which bastard is cheaper?" Liu Yiyi tried hard to think about the appearance of that bastard, but couldn't think of it. Look at the men around him, they are all gentle and elegant, and they don't match the "bastard". But she knows that "bastards" can be heartless, lungs and human, but they must be rich and powerful. Money is potential, and momentum is money. The two girls came back and toasted the two men and said, "Drink some of your own, and we'll develop these two virgin lands." The man said, "Which of us drives whom?" The beauty covered her mouth and grinned and said, "Develop each other." "I clinked my glasses. The man said: "Satellite TV still has virgin land? The two beauties looked at each other and smiled. Liu Yiyi observed them carefully, applied eyelashes, eye balm, lipstick, and powder, and they were indeed glamorous, and they couldn't pick out one of them in Caida. The girl in Beiguang has a small mouth, soft and pink, and is born to kiss. The girl in Zheguang has a big mouth, her lower lip is slightly upturned, a little thick, and she is also born to kiss. Liu Yiyi imagined that if she was a man, would she have the strength to refuse the temptation of this lip? It's hard, it's hard. She couldn't help but think about their posture in bed with a certain man, and somehow, that man became the man who made noodles at the rice noodle shop at the school gate, and last summer she saw him sitting shirtless at the door of the rice noodle shop, and the fat was folded three times in his stomach. Thinking like this, Liu Yiyi secretly pursed her lips and smiled.

Afterwards, Liu Yiyi asked Qin Yixing: "Are they all your subordinates?" Qin Yixing said: "I was just selected by the sea and hired on a trial basis." Liu Yiyi said: "Then they still have to beg for food in your hands?" Qin Yixing said: "If you want to say that, you can also say it." Liu Yiyi said: "Then your chance is very good!" Qin Yixing said: "Don't think I'm so bad. And he said, "Don't be so jealous." Liu Yiyi said: "These little stunners, who are they fooling with a pink face all year round?" I eat their vinegar? Qin Yixing said: "Indeed, indeed, you are a graduate student." Liu Yiyi said: "Who is more temperamental, me or them?" Qin Yixing said: "Then do you need to talk about it?" Liu Yiyi was relieved, but after a while, she felt that she couldn't be so relieved, and said, "You make it clear." Qin Yixing said: "Still don't understand? Needless to say? Liu Yiyi said: "I don't understand, I don't understand!" Qin Yixing said, "Of course, of course," seeing Liu Yiyi's nervous expression, "Of course, of course it's you." Liu Yiyi watched the satellite TV channel in Kangding for a day, and it was not until after ten o'clock in the evening that she saw the two girls come out and host a shopping show. The TV didn't seem to be as glamorous as that night, but it was articulate and quick-witted, saying that they were stunners really wronged them. In the future, Liu Yiyi endured not to mention this matter again, no matter how awkward she was, she didn't mention it in her heart, for fear that mentioning it would remind Qin Yixing, and she was afraid that he would laugh at his lack of grade, and even the little stunner was afraid. Saying that she is not afraid is lying to herself, she needs to comfort herself with lies.

Liu Yiyi wrapped her head with a sheet, tears flowed out, and she wiped it off with her hand through the sheet, then it flowed out, and then wiped it off, feeling that the sheet was already wet. She hated herself, why wasn't she strong enough to laugh at the news? Thinking like this, she laughed, wiped her tears, laughed again, and wiped her tears again. Then, "Hahahaha! She burst out laughing, laughing and laughing, and her voice changed to "Ahhhhh Tired of crying, she remembered that in the past few weeks, Qin Yixing had only come to Kangding to show affection perfunctorily, and rarely expressed passion. After a few years, she knew his circadian rhythm well, and the sudden change could not be for other reasons. Hehe, Liu Yiyi smiled viciously in her heart, and after laughing, she found that this viciousness was not strong enough, and she was immediately covered by a gentle weakness. For a few years, she thinks that her relationship with Qin Yixing is tenacious enough, and the fact that she can't let it go is proof of it. I thought that even if I had no future, I would love madly once in my life, but now that I think about it, this is too bluffing, and it is wishful thinking to take my own thoughts as the truth of the matter. It's always cruel to uncover the truth, but if you don't uncover it, the truth is still the truth, and cruelty is still cruel. He is the vice president of Satellite TV, he has resources in his hands, opportunities around him, and opportunities that ordinary people dare not think of. A few years of relationship, I thought it was very solid, I thought it couldn't be finished, that's not a fact. It's over, there's nothing to complain about when it's over, who promised themselves anything? No. Even if it's promised, so what?

I don't know how long it took, Liu Yiyi poked her head out of the sheet. She didn't dare to open her eyes, as if as soon as she opened them, she would see a hideous world. She felt that her face was wrinkled, the corners of her eyes were very astringent, and when she moved her facial muscles, she realized that her tears had dried up and formed a membrane on her face. She plucked up the courage to open her eyes, the world was still this world, and everything was still the same. A ray of sunlight came in the corner of the window, and with the last warmth of the day, rested on her cheeks. Sunlight is a three-dimensional pillar of light, with obvious boundaries, and countless motes jump in it, like a dance of small spiritual beings. A hint of a bell in the distance, like a gentle wind, came softly, stirring up a tremor in her heart. At this time, the mobile phone rang, it was Qin Yixing calling, she was angry and didn't answer. It rang again, it was Miao Xiaohui calling. Miao Xiaohui said: "Yiyi, you're not sad, right? Liu Yiyi said: "I'm not sad. Miao Xiaohui said: "That's right." Hurting yourself for someone else's mistakes is not smart. You are sad and old, others will not give you more sympathy because you are sad and old for him, he only knows that you are old. Liu Yiyi's heart was cold and trembled, this is the cruel truth. "I'm not as smart as you," she said. And he said, "I really want to learn from you, and if I don't learn, I can't do it." Miao Xiaohui said: "Now that women are not smart, they can't survive." He also said, "Yiyi, it's you today, if someone else I don't want to convey such bad news." I at least know the secrets of my two colleague's husbands, and if I don't tell them, maybe they will hate me. Who wants to be hated? Liu Yiyi said: "If even you come to hide it from me, I will have no one to trust in this world, and I will be absolutely lonely." What is Freedom? Freedom is solitude, no one cares about you, and no one cares about you. Freedom or is everything and all the consequences to be borne by oneself, and if he wants to be free, he will bear it for you? There are so many heavy commitments, freedom or what kind of freedom? Miao Xiaohui said: "Freedom is to do whatever you want, and then, pay the price." He also said, "Let's stop talking about this heavy topic, that is the language of men, and women have no freedom when they are forced by time." I called to tell you, did you tell him about the incident I just told you? Liu Yiyi said: "I haven't talked about it yet, call him over at night to see how he makes up a story for me." He can make it up anyway, and he has made up countless stories to his wife, and he is already a master of the eight paragraphs with seamless exports. ”

Miao Xiaohui groaned on the other end of the phone, and said in a vague voice: "Yiyi, you are stupid, what are you doing?" Do you want him to change something for you? If you don't tear this face, he's going to have to keep it up, and that's important to you, isn't it? You tore it apart, then he happened to be under the soup and finished the matter, who cares about you then? Liu Yiyi woke up and said, "Yes, yes." And he said, "He said that he was finished?" Miao Xiaohui said, "Then what can you do?" In the past, there was morality to protect women, morality is to protect the weak, but it can only protect his wife. In the past, his wife went to the TV station, and the station had to take care of it. Looking for it now, isn't that a joke? I don't have the charm to cage a man and find a leader, which is a shame on top of a shame. Women, either you will endure it all, or you will fight with your life, if you don't want to fight with your life, you will endure it all, if you don't want to endure it, you will take your life and fight, there is no other way. I said Yiyi, you should bear with it, don't pull out the gun if you don't plan to shoot. You must jump up, you are his wife and you can jump a little bit, you are you, how high can you jump? ”

The two discussed for a long time, and in the end, Miao Xiaohui persuaded Liu Yiyi, pretending not to know about it. After the decision, Liu Yiyi panicked in her heart, too aggrieved, too sad. How many grievances have I suffered in the past few years, and who knows that there is a bigger grievance waiting for me? She said: "Why are these third parties so hateful? Miao Xiaohui laughed, and after laughing for a while, Liu Yiyi came to her senses and said, "It's so hateful, they." And he said, "I really can't swallow it." In case Qin Yixing wants to find me something, then do you want me to cater to him? Tell me to share it with others, I really can't swallow it. Miao Xiaohui said: "Women have swallowed this breath for thousands of years, and you still can't swallow it for a few months?" At least wait until September, when he helps you pay your final year's tuition. ”

Two days later, Qin Yixing came to Kangding, he took off his shirt and went naked, blowing into the electric fan and saying, "Hot." Then he lay down on the bed and said, "Tired." Liu Yiyi said: "Don't make excuses. He said, "What excuse?" She said, "Lazy." He smiled and said, "No work, no ploughing, no sowing." Liu Yiyi said: "So many people are pestering you, can you not be tired?" If you're tired, you can just lie down here, and if others make you tired, can I still make you tired? Qin Yixing said: "There are too many things. Liu Yiyi said: "Why are you so busy lately, always having meetings?" Qin Yixing said: "Do you think that if you are given a chair to sit on, you will be allowed to sit in vain?" Liu Yiyi didn't look strange at all when she saw him, and wondered, did she wronged him? Impulsively speaking things up, there may be an unexpected explanation. Whatever the explanation, as long as he is willing to explain, he accepts it. My heart swayed leisurely for a while, and I held back. To this day, he still thinks about things on the bright side, and he is really an incorrigible idealist. Liu Yiyi said: "There are too many people looking for you, how can you cope with it?" Qin Yixing glanced at her inquiringly, she remained silent, and was very satisfied with her ability to control her expression, Aha, I am also an old sparrow. Qin Yixing said: "So it's not easy to come here. Liu Yiyi said: "When I become an official, I often go to the hotel," seeing Qin Yixing's eyes staring at him a little strangely, "Go to eat and drink tea." Qin Yixing said: "Anyway, there is this money in Taiwan." Liu Yiyi said: "Money, I know that money is not a problem now, but a person's energy and physical strength are still limited." Qin Yixing was silent and looked at her as if studying. Liu Yiyi said: "Why do you see me like this? Qin Yixing said: "Why is it strange to talk today?" Liu Yiyi laughed: "Really? I don't think so. It's a little weird in your own heart! And he said, "Knowing that money is not a problem for you now, buy me a computer, and I have been asking you for two years." Qin Yixing said: "That's the government's money." Then he said, "Well, find a way to get the account out." Liu Yiyi clapped her hands and said, "Why is it so good today?" It's as good as if you've done something wrong. He posted it and made love, and she pushed his hand away and said, "Touch everywhere, and come to people again!" At this time, Qin Yixing's mobile phone beeped softly, and the message came in. Qin Yixing instinctively reached for his trouser pocket, stopped suddenly, and seemed to retract it inadvertently. Liu Yiyi pretended not to hear or see, and continued to speak. Qin Yixing spoke a little absent-mindedly, and said, "Go and relieve yourself." He went, Liu Yiyi took the electric kettle and went over gently, saw him peeing with one hand and sending a message with the other, saw Liu Yiyi's hand trembling, and continued to send messages as if nothing happened. Liu Yiyi said: "Boil some boiling water to make you a cup of tea." "Took the water and left. Qin Yixing came back and deliberately put the phone on the table, Liu Yiyi thought, it's all deleted, who will watch you? After boiling the water and brewing two cups of tea, Liu Yiyi saw that the mobile phone lit up and did not ring. She knew that another message had come in, and that he had muted him. Liu Yiyi said: "Do you want to boil some more water?" Qin Yixing went to the water room to pick up the water, Liu Yiyi grabbed her mobile phone and read the message: "I fancy a pair of shoes on the pedestrian street, you come to buy them for me." Hearing the sound of water breaking, she immediately put her phone back and wrote down the number. Qin Yixing came in, Liu Yiyi thought, after reading the information, he would know, but he was afraid that the location of the mobile phone would be inaccurate, he had said before that at home, there was a slight change in the location of the mobile phone, and he knew that his wife had moved. Before he could observe, she grabbed her mobile phone and said, "Use your mobile phone to make a call to your classmates, call my mobile phone with your money, and call your mobile phone with public money." Seeing him looking at himself, he pressed his phone blindly for a while and said, "I pressed it wrong." I pressed the button again, made the call, and put the phone back. Qin Yixing picked up his mobile phone and looked at it and said, "When will there be another message, asking me to go to socialize." Liu Yiyi said, "Who told you to go?" You can also entertain me, people have been waiting for so long, you just came and have to leave. Qin Yixing said: "There is no way, you see, I am not my own at all." Liu Yiyi said, "Who told you to go?" You listen to her so much? ”