Unwilling, there is no way. Still unwilling, still no way. These two voices punched and kicked in Liu Yiyi's heart for many days, regardless of victory or defeat. Thinking about it, you still have to put the qin in the first place. The fire in the Beijing Blue Speed Internet café killed so many people, it was done by a few boys from a single-parent family, if it was a girl, what could she do? She won't set fires, but she'll do something else. There are too many such examples, and one day it will be Qinqin's turn? I can't even think about it. Also, if you are really divorced, Qinqin has to take it with her, otherwise there will be no light in your life. You've got to find a man, right? Take Qinqin to another man? Not to mention that it is difficult to find, even if it is found, how can I trust that man and rest assured that Qinqin? Who's to say foolproof? Do you dare to go on a business trip? Dare to go out for tea at night? If something happens, then don't live yourself. She imagined that she was on a business trip, and although Aunt Su was at home, the man supported Aunt Su to go out shopping, and stretched out a sinful hand to Qinqin, who was doing her homework. She didn't dare to think about it anymore. A woman can't make herself chic, she has no capital and no conditions. Qinqin can only live with her father, and there is no other choice. In other words, I have no other choice.

The quarrel that day hurt each other too deeply, and Song Xusheng never came to provoke Liu Yiyi again. He ignored her, he was not idle, but she was completely marginalized. Now, what she means to him is Qinqin's mother; What he meant to her was Qinqin's father. So much for. Liu Yiyi couldn't accept this kind of fateful arrangement, she thought, I want to struggle, I want to struggle!

That night, Liu Yiyi asked Miao Xiaohui to meet at the Wings of Tea, and just sat down, and before the tea was served, he didn't let himself have a chance to hesitate, so he told Song Xusheng about it. Miao Xiaohui said: "It's not strange, it's not strange. And he said, "If he is good to you, it is a good fate, and if it is not good for you, it is not an accident." Liu Yiyi said: "Why do you say the same?" Miao Xiaohui said: "When you forced him to get rich, you had to be mentally prepared." Liu Yiyi said: "Where would I have thought that he would betray me back then? Miao Xiaohui said: "You want him to be developed, and you want him to be single-minded, this requirement is too high." Ancient women all knew that they repented of asking their husbands to find the marquis, and they were still your people? Liu Yiyi said: "There are still many men who are developed and are good to their wives." Miao Xiaohui said: "There are still classic men, but they are becoming more and more classic." Women, find men who can't do it and have no money, find capable men who are widowed, and women who catch both fish are becoming more and more classic. Don't talk about us, those broad wives in Hong Kong, graduated from prestigious universities, and beautiful ladies, can only turn a blind eye, who will talk about feminism with their husbands? Even they are widows in marriage, who calls her a woman? Liu Yiyi said: "Women are so unlucky, and men are so amazing?" Isn't it just standing up and peeing? I take a shower and I pee standing up! ”

Tea came, in the dim light, through the faint heat, Liu Yiyi went to look at Miao Xiaohui, thinking to herself, she didn't keep her youth, she wasn't alone in the erosion of time! This made her feel a kind of comfort: "Time is so cruel to women. Miao Xiaohui said: "Do you think I've changed a little lately?" Liu Yiyi was afraid that she would notice her thoughts, so she immediately said, "It hasn't changed, it's still the same." "I have to be a little kind of hypocrisy to think about my friends. Who wants Miao Xiaohui to say disappointedly: "It really hasn't changed?" I've been using Mary Kay lately. Liu Yiyi had no choice but to exclaim in surprise: "Really? He took the teacup away and leaned his head over to look closely, "It's more delicate!" I didn't want to say too much hypocrisy, it was too awkward, so I said, "How can those Hong Kong wives swallow that breath?" I can't think of any way out for them. Miao Xiaohui said: "Go to Andy Lau's fan meeting at dawn, wherever they sing, they will follow wherever they come, anyway, there is money, and there is time." And he said, "Let's go to a fan party!" Liu Yiyi said: "I'm too lazy to hold that field." Miao Xiaohui said mysteriously: "Lucheng now has a wife club, do you know?" Liu Yiyi said: "I have heard vaguely. Miao Xiaohui said: "There is everything in it, you can have what you want." Liu Yiyi said: "Yes, there are ducks." If you want me to go find a duck, I don't have the mental capacity yet, so I have to have some feelings. Miao Xiaohui said: "Have they talked to chickens about their feelings?" Liu Yiyi said: "They are men!" Miao Xiaohui said: "If a woman wants to tie herself up, and she has to complain about heaven and others, then she can only blame herself." Liu Yiyi seemed to be ashamed of her feelings, and said: "I don't have so much money to be chic, others say that ducks are very expensive, much more expensive than chickens, and my house has not been repaid yet." ”

Still no direction. Liu Yiyi said: "If only Song Xusheng was as good as your husband." Miao Xiaohui said: "My husband, you know, is also a capable man." There are some aspects that capable men cannot be counted on. I don't quarrel with him, and I don't check his mobile phone and payment list, women must not be smart to check their husband's mobile phone, doesn't stink, pick it stink, why pick it? You want to completely stifle a man's desires, but Wang Xifeng can't do that to that extent. I'm going to be nice to him, drain him every day or two, and tell him that there are bacteria outside, AIDS and hepatitis B, so that he won't run too far. Liu Yiyi covered her mouth and smiled: "He listens to you so much, and he smokes when he says?" Miao Xiaohui also smiled and said: "Then it depends on my martial arts, the man eats this set." Liu Yiyi thought that her martial arts were okay, but they had been abandoned over the years, and said, "Where did the emotions come from?" And he said, "What did he do, and you know what he did?" I don't know much about Song Xusheng. Some people say that the man served the dishes in a nearby teahouse, and later went to study for the self-examination, but he didn't arrange it? I don't even know her name, you see I'm stupid. I would like to ask a private detective to investigate clearly. Miao Xiaohui shook her hand again and again and said: "You must not do such a thing, and if you do it, your marriage will be completely over." Are you planning a divorce? If you don't plan to shoot, don't pull out your gun. As long as it doesn't interfere with the family, it's better to turn a blind eye, who called you that I am a woman, and I am not so young? In this world, if you don't bully us, who will you bully? Liu Yiyi said: "I didn't expect you to think like this, unlike Miao Xiaohui." Miao Xiaohui said: "What if you can't think about it?" When I think of those wives in Hong Kong who are bullied, I think about it. And he said, "What kind of character is Hillary?" Clinton made a mistake that made her lose face in front of the people of the world, and she didn't want to open it yet? She is a great role model for women all over the world. ”

Liu Yiyi felt a little more relaxed, even Miao Xiaohui, Hillary and Mrs. Hong Kong thought so, and she had to think so. She said, "You have to give people a way out." Miao Xiaohui said: "You go to the Internet to find a little spiritual comfort, you really met a decent one, go down the Internet to find a little comfort, anyway, you didn't do it first." Liu Yiyi shook her head again and again and said, "I'm in my thirties and still play online dating?" And what good things will be on the Internet? ”

Having said that, Liu Yiyi still had a little heartbeat, it was too lonely. That's a reason, and it's not a reason. She repeatedly said to herself in her heart: "What are you afraid of when you go shopping on the Internet, but no one knows who you are, and you don't meet online?" Liu Yiyi thought of Xiaoli in the same office, she claimed that she had a boyfriend, and several male friends, all of whom met online, and those male friends were all mobile. Liu Yiyi asked her: "You just went to the hotel when you met them, aren't you afraid?" Xiaoli said, "What are you afraid of?" The big deal is rape, and I'm not afraid. Once when we went swimming together, Liu Yiyi looked at a few bruises on her legs and asked what was going on, and she said nonchalantly: "They bite." Another time Xiaoli said that she wanted to use the money she was going to buy a house to speculate in stocks, Liu Yiyi reminded her that there was a risk, she said: "What is not risky? You're going to fall out of the way if you do that. Because there are always so many men around her, Xiaoli is always very rich, and she herself said that she will not date people without money. Liu Yiyi couldn't help but think, isn't Xiaoli just an Internet prostitute? In this way, she does not have a good impression of online dating. But Xiaoli hasn't had anything happen to her for so long, so Liu Yiyi gave herself the screen name "Dream Like Smoke" and entered the emotional chat room. When I went in, I realized that the world is so big, there are so many people, and it is so free. I usually see men who are still very elegant and decent, and here I know how strong the desire is hidden by that dignity. Always enter the topic without saying a few words, are you not in harmony with your husband? Isn't it lonely? Do you need the comfort of a real man? Then he asked for a video conversation, or asked for a phone number, and told her which website to go to watch the live performance. Liu Yiyi felt that if it was just to pursue physical communication, it would be easy, too easy, but I didn't expect things to be so easy, like going downstairs to buy a fast food when I was hungry. Liu Yiyi began to be very uncomfortable, how can people be so shameless? People are people! When she walked down the street during the day, she felt that everyone was wearing masks, but they were actually animals in clothes. It didn't take long for me to feel relieved, and I felt that it was so inappropriate to talk about shamelessness in an era of desire. The air has been poisoned, love is no longer worth cherishing, and women are not people to be respected. Perhaps, the concept of the Internet age needs to be completely changed. There are already women discussing on the Internet that it is cost-effective to sleep with several men in their lives, and perhaps the problem they face is really "sleeping with men", and nothing else. How simple it is, and how sad it is! Realizing that she would have this kind of thought, Liu Yiyi felt scared, could it be that she had completely recognized the rationality of the animal world? Could it be that love as a woman's life theme has really changed?

Liu Yiyi denied the reliability of online romance in her heart, but she was still driven by that inexplicable sense of anticipation, roaming in it, as if she was addicted, surrounded by so many men, and also had the feeling of regaining her self-confidence. During the lunch break, after the market closed in the afternoon, Song Xusheng was not at home in the evening, and she roamed on the Internet. It's just a fun time to relieve loneliness! She said this to herself, and she suspected that this statement was a kind of self-deception, and her true purpose should be temporarily concealed from herself. A few times she mustered up the courage to ask herself, is she looking for a man? So, are you just looking for a man, or are you looking for a man who loves you?

The purpose is clear and vague. The heart is always like an arrow on the string, but it does not shoot. Finally, Liu Yiyi found a person in the chat room, whose online name is "Fenghua Years", and the conversation is very speculative and emotional. She felt that at this age it was no longer suitable for lyricism, or even confiding, who would be interested in listening to it? But she still told the other party about the loneliness of her feelings, and wondered if he would talk about the bed as quickly as others? It didn't. It made her feel a sense of comfort. When asked each other about their age, the other party said that he was twenty-seven years old, his name was Xiaoling, and he was a graduate student at Lucheng University. Liu Yiyi was suddenly very lost, ran to the mirror and looked at herself, feeling that she was not so pessimistic, at least, it should be younger than her actual age, so she returned to the Internet and said that she was thirty years old. Xiao Ling said, I really want to see you. Liu Yiyi said, what are you doing when you see your sister? Let's go find a sister. couldn't stand Xiao Ling's repeated requests, saying that if she didn't meet again, she wouldn't have the heart to study, and she would be responsible for not being able to finish her job. These coquettish words made Liu Yiyi have some irrepressible imagination, thinking that she should find an opportunity to try her charm, so she agreed.

The market closed on this day, and Liu Yiyi went to the appointment. The adventure of going to a little man to try her charm made her feel the heart beat in anticipation and uneasy, wondering if she could control the situation. She said to herself, what are you afraid of when you meet? Don't you see people every day? On the corner of the street, she suddenly caught a glimpse of a vending machine, which had already passed, and her heart moved, and then she turned back, and when there was no one around, she quickly threw two coins, jumped out of one, pinched it like lightning, and stuffed it in her satchel like a hot hand. She had a hunch that something would happen today, otherwise why did she never notice such a thing hanging on the wall when she passed by this street every day? This premonition made her very uneasy, and she stopped, wondering if she should turn the corner and go home. A taxi drove by, she subconsciously raised her hand, the car stopped, and she got into the car like a dream.

At the door of Heyun Western Restaurant, Xiao Ling was waiting for her with a rose, which was the code of the joint. Liu Yiyi saw that he was so young, and he almost didn't have the courage to walk over. On second thought, how could he know who he was? Standing far away and hesitating for a moment, when he saw Xiao Ling looking around, he turned his head and walked a few steps, pretending to be a passerby. It seemed that she was about to go all the way forward and turn back, but the rose flickered in her eyes, and the branches swayed, very vividly. Under the temptation to relive the romance, she passed. After saying hello, Liu Yiyi observed Xiao Ling's expression, and did not express any surprise, it seemed that it was all in her imagination, so she put her mind at ease and found a small private room to talk. Liu Yiyi said: "I regret coming, you are still a boy." Xiao Ling said, "Don't talk about me like that. Besides, you don't look like a thirty-year-old. How did you tell your real age? Honesty, I like honest girls, honest. She knew that he was talking, but she was still very comfortable, smiled and said, "What you said is very true. He said, "Can't you feel it if it's a little smaller?" Liu Yiyi said: "I'm afraid you don't feel it." "Saying it and regretting it, isn't this an admission of your passive position? She didn't have anything to say, "This rose is beautiful." Xiao Ling said: "I think the flower is the second most beautiful, and you are the first beautiful." Liu Yiyi was very useful in her heart, and said in her mouth: "Where did you learn the sweet mouth?" After talking for a while, he suddenly said, "I was going to be a tutor tonight, but if you ask me, I will postpone it until tomorrow." Liu Yiyi thought, the time is set by you, how can I say that I will ask you out? Say, "It's delaying you to make money." And he said, "And how much money do you want to earn?" Xiao Ling said, "Didn't you also be a student?" And he said, "The tuition fee is several thousand a year." My family was laid off. This topic made Liu Yiyi feel uncomfortable, and she didn't come to listen to him. She wanted to send the conversation away and say, "It's good that you graduate." He said, "There are still two years, how can you get through it?" Liu Yiyi suddenly felt a kind of pressure, as if she had a responsibility to help him through the difficult school days.

As he spoke, Xiao Ling replied with a few messages. Liu Yiyi said: "Is my girlfriend so tight? He said with an unnatural expression: "No, really not." She said, "Don't have a girlfriend?" He said, "No, not really." She smiled and said, "Didn't care so much? He was stunned for a moment and said, "No, really not." She didn't go into detail, but her emotions were discounted, and she hardly wanted to say any more. On second thought, I have a husband and he has a girlfriend, which is not so unfair to me. Can the relationship from the Internet be so demanding? If you want to be demanding, then you don't. Xiao Ling said to go to the bathroom and didn't come back for a while. Liu Yiyi suspected that he was calling, took out his mobile phone and dialed his number, and sure enough, the line was busy. She thought, play smart with me, you don't know who I am. She thought of the way he was squatting there pretending to be unarmed, and she felt a kind of disgust in her heart. When he returned, she said, "You're going to get in line, right?" The toilet is too small. He immediately said, "Yes, yes, wait, wait." When paying, Liu Yiyi hoped that he would make a gesture and give himself a little face, and then rushed to pay the money himself. Seeing that he didn't move, she handed the money to the waiter, feeling ashamed.

Standing up to leave, he suddenly leaned his head over and kissed her on the cheek and said, "It's so beautiful." One sentence almost disarmed Liu Yiyi, but he still dodged and said, "It's the first time we met." He said, "Haven't you known each other for a long time?" He put his arm around her waist and said, "You're in good shape." Liu Yiyi was a little soft, let him hug him, and walked out. When she went out, Liu Yiyi said, "See you next time." He said, "Why don't you find a place to rest so early?" Liu Yiyi was shocked, thinking that all she wanted was a man, which was a good person. Suddenly thinking that he didn't make a gesture just now when he paid the money, he lost his emotions and said, "Next time, next time." He took his hand comfortingly, and left. On the way, she thought that a woman who was dizzy with sweet words was pitiful, and a woman who was not dizzy was terrible. I'd rather be terrible than pitiful. Back at home, Song Xusheng had already returned, looking at her with inquiring eyes. She pretended not to see it, and said to herself: "Drink tea, with Miao Xiaohui." Suddenly I remembered the thing in my satchel, quietly took it out, pretended to close the window, and threw it downstairs.

In the future, Liu Yiyi still interacted with Xiaoling on the Internet, but she calmed down a little. His enthusiasm increased, and he sent a few bouquets of roses every day, saying, I didn't expect you to be so beautiful, and you look much younger than your actual age. After all, Liu Yiyi has passed the age where she can be stunned in a few words, and she will calm down after being dizzy for a while. These words are obviously not true, but it doesn't matter, the ears can be used. She asked herself in her heart, what exactly do you want? A lover, that's not practical, a man, that's fine. At least, there is still a sense of security here, and it will not be like some women who have run into scoundrels, stalking, and even threatening to record the audio and video, and use the first time as a reason to continue forever, otherwise they will have to pay to buy it out, so that they will suffer a double dumb loss. She needs a sense of security, she doesn't have the determination and courage to destroy the comfortable life of the middle class now, no matter how sorry Song Xusheng is for herself, she is still worthy of it at this point. For a woman, this is very important and worth cherishing, that is, there are more things to consider besides the qinqin.

Who are you looking for, Liu Yiyi can't answer herself. She didn't want to go any further until she answered. After all, I still look forward to a pure relationship in my heart, and that feeling is completely different. But is this possible? Xiao Ling asked to meet again, so she found a reason to delay, thinking that if they met again, she would definitely go to "rest". Finally, one day, after saying a lot of nice things, he asked her if she could do him a favor. Liu Yiyi had a bad premonition, but she still wrote back and asked him if he needed help with anything. He said that the school urged her to pay the tuition, otherwise she would not be able to register the test results and graduate, and asked her if there was anything she could do. Men want women to find a way, but Liu Yiyi can't accept this fact. She smiled gloomily in her heart and wrote back, "Aren't you a tutor?" He said, I want to pull 8,000 yuan from you, and I will pay it back when I earn it after graduation, and my sister will definitely understand my predicament. Liu Yiyi said, let me think about it. It went offline.

Liu Yiyi thought about this for two days, not whether to give money or not. The money must not be given, and if you give it, you will not be able to get it back, that is certain, there are too many stories of women being deceived on the Internet. She was thinking of the word "equilibrium", which is the state of existence of everything in the world. Find a husband, he is very successful, he will inevitably be distracted, you enjoy his success, you have to endure his distraction, this is balance; Find a lover, he's very young, you have to stick it upside down, this is also balance. Wasn't he and Qin Yixing a balance under the cover of romance back then? This is normal, no miracles happen, and you can't expect it to happen to you. Equilibrium is the rationality of existence, but also the tragedy of human nature. Thinking like this, Liu Yiyi was disheartened and interrupted this online relationship.