That night, Liu Yiyi saw Qin Yixing on TV, he hadn't seen him for so many years, he was already the director of the station, and he was not so young. The next day, she tried her best to recall Qin Yixing's appearance at that time, and felt that he was indeed a little old, so she suddenly had a kind of confidence, so she dialed his mobile phone. It's been more than seven years, and I've never thought about it, but this number still jumped into her heart all of a sudden. Qin Yixing said: "Thank you for remembering that there is another me in the world." Liu Yiyi said: "People guard the satellite TV channel every day and want to see Director Qin, but he doesn't often appear on camera." Qin Yixing said: "We are the ones behind the scenes. After all these years, how are you? Liu Yiyi said: "It's okay." Then he summoned up the courage and said, "Nothing has changed." Qin Yixing said, "Really? Yes. Today's girls are very good at maintenance. "I made an appointment to meet. Liu Yiyi proposed to go to the Heyun Restaurant, which was the place where they met for the first time, and it was also the place where they had a story for the first time.

Liu Yiyi specially went to the beauty shop to put on makeup, and when she saw that she was still radiant in the mirror, she had confidence and went. Sitting in a taxi suddenly shaken again, do you really go? If you don't go, you can still keep the impression of the year, and if you go, you may be ruined. Besides, he's a director, what girl hasn't seen it? At this moment, her self-confidence collapsed, and she told the driver to turn around. The driver said, "You have to go to the intersection ahead to make a U-turn." encountered a red light at the intersection, Liu Yiyi took out the makeup box, looked at herself in the small mirror, it was quite pleasing to the eye, glad that he had thought of makeup, and covered everything he didn't want him to see. He told the driver to keep driving forward, thinking, how important this face is to a woman, the face is different, and the fate is not the same. The years are on the face, and every year is different. Why is it that other places on the body are changing slowly, but this face can't get along with yourself?

Qin Yixing was already waiting for her in the small private room, got up very elegantly, and stretched out his hand to signal her to sit down on the opposite side of the table. The excitement, excitement, and even hugging that Liu Yiyi originally envisioned did not appear. Qin Yixing said: "I haven't seen you for many years. Liu Yiyi couldn't help but say: "You see that I ...... It's not like it used to be. "Is it sincere to regret what you say? Foolish! Thankfully, I haven't said the "old" word yet. Qin Yixing said: "I heard that you are now a manager. Liu Yiyi said: "I knew you back then, and you haven't graduated from college yet." Qin Yixing said: "Recently, the stock market has risen again, and it has risen wildly, and your income has also risen, right?" I've heard that there is a golden decade in the bull market, and you're terrible! Liu Yiyi said: "I was so poor back then, how much was it a month when I met you?" And he said, "The first time I had dinner with you was here, you may not remember." Qin Yixing said, "Really? I really don't remember. Now I am haunted by dozens of things every day, and my brain is trampled to the ground by thousands of horses. Liu Yiyi said: "Director! Back then, you were still a reporter, Lucheng Mingji. Qin Yixing said: "Now I don't often go to interviews, that's what the people below do." Liu Yiyi said: "Back then, when you fell, you fell, and now a fall is an incident." I think when I went to the job fair to look for a job, you brought two reporters there to interview. Qin Yixing tried his best to recall and said, "Yes, yes? Now I don't remember as well as I can't remember a lot of things. ”

The meal is coming. While eating, Qin Yixing said: "Look at your hands are really so good now, your fingers are verdant." Liu Yiyi stretched out her hand and said, "My favorite is my hands." Immediately he sighed again: "Well, I know what you mean. Qin Yixing said: "Say that your hands are beautiful, then what does it mean?" Liu Yiyi said: "No? All right. I'm stupid. Qin Yixing said, "How did you become so sensitive? Liu Yiyi said: "I'm stupid, I'm still sensitive? The two talked, asking about each other, and about acquaintances they both knew. Liu Yiyi couldn't find the atmosphere and mood she needed, and she was retreating in her heart and wanted to give up. Thinking like this, she suddenly became very sentimental, and tears flowed out, and she didn't wipe it, let it stop on her cheeks. Qin Yixing said, "What's wrong with you?" Liu Yiyi lowered her head, rubbed the back of her hand on her face and said, "It's nothing." And he said, "It hurts to think about it." Qin Yixing said: "What is so heart-wrenching? Liu Yiyi looked up at him and said, "Don't you know? And he began to sob. Qin Yixing didn't make a sound, Liu Yiyi didn't make a sound, and both of them sank into their memories. All kinds of pictures of the past flowed in Liu Yiyi's mind, and flowed past, but they couldn't be kept, and they all flowed away. She couldn't help but sigh.

After a while, Liu Yiyi raised her head and said, "I'll go back." Qin Yixing said, "Why don't I send you?" Liu Yiyi said: "I don't want you to send it." Qin Yixing stood up, hesitated for a moment and said, "Come here with you." Liu Yiyi stood still. Qin Yixing took her hand, held her in his arms and said, "I haven't hugged you for a long time." Liu Yiyi said: "You are the director, who is not around you?" Qin Yixing was silent, one hand slowly groped on her body, and suddenly, on her lower abdomen, stopped. This obvious action made Liu Yiyi suddenly think of the scar, so he grabbed his sleeve and gently pulled his hand out a few times. Qin Yixing said: "You too...... Be...... Be...... That's what happened! As if to obey her, his hand withdrew. Liu Yiyi was very disappointed, and she could imagine how he felt. She sighed and said, "I want to go back to the past, but I can't go back!" Qin Yixing didn't answer this and said, "I think your current state is also good, not bad, not bad, really good." And he said, "I will send you back." Liu Yiyi said, "Then let's go." ”

This meeting made Liu Yiyi regret it for several days, and she felt very awkward in her heart. I still have a good memory, but it's ruined. No wonder Wen Ya said, I won't participate in class reunions in the future, don't ruin the beauty of the year. At the all-grade reunion last summer, a male classmate named Ermao pointed at Wen Ya and joked to the class leader: "This is my wife." The squad leader didn't recognize her, shook her hand and said, "Ermao and I are iron buddies." Some of the students next to him bent over and covered their stomachs, and some held the back of their heads with both hands, and they all leaned forward and leaned back with laughter. At that time, Liu Yiyi also smiled, and after laughing, she was a little sentimental, just like the sentimentality of seeing Qin Yixing this time. She also knew that in such a realistic world, sentimentality had become a weak posture, meaningless, and could not change anything, just like Qin Yixing's feelings and choices could not be changed today.

Liu Yiyi had doubts about herself, is she really so worthless in the eyes of men? But after all, I'm not Ah Yu. The more she doubted, the more she wanted to prove her worth. How to confirm it? can only go to the man to confirm that he lives with Song Xusheng every day, sleeps in the same bed at night, silence has become the most usual way of communication, and there is no such thing as confirming his value as a woman. Sometimes she wears a newly bought dress, feels good about herself, and selfishly hopes that Song Xusheng will notice and comment a few words, but he always sees it as if he doesn't see it. She felt that she had failed too much to be a woman, except for Qinqin, her family affection was not settled, her body was not settled, and nothing was settled. In this era of pursuing quality of life, the minimum quality of life has not been settled. Comfort yourself with the doomed failure of this era, but there are still so many women who live very nourishingly; Let's say it's a personal failure, but there are still so many women hanging there. Liu Yiyi imagined that the women who lived a nourishing life were showing people an illusion of happiness, and they were actually living in pain without exception. This kind of thinking is too cruel and unkind, but she still can't suppress it.

One night, Liu Yiyi came out of the fitness center, and someone was handing out dance tickets at the door, and a dance hall nearby had recently opened. Liu Yiyi has long had no hope for the dance hall, where the standard for men to look at women is simple and simple, and they have everything at a glance. That's how men look at women, and women in the vision of desire are like a label, figure, looks, sexy, one, two, three. What can a man do if he sees a woman as a woman, and a woman has to see a man as a man? This made Liu Yiyi gradually alienate from the dance field.

Pinching the free ticket, Liu Yiyi hesitated, and involuntarily walked over there, with an expectation of adventure that she didn't want to face. A woman is always a hopelessly idealistic person, and when she expects someone, she strongly imagines that the person who is expected is waiting for her. The stronger the expectation, the more vivid the imagination.

This imagination led Liu Yiyi to the dance hall. Looking at the flashing neon signs at the door, she had an inexplicable excitement. At the door, she asked for the fare, and it was only three yuan, which made her very disappointed, isn't this where the laid-off female workers came? She hesitated, but saved the bag anyway. It's dark inside, I can't see it clearly, I just think it's people who are shining. After sitting down for a while, she adjusted to the darkness and saw the scene inside, most of the men and women were in their forties, and few of them could see it. Someone came to ask her to dance, and in the faint light she saw that the man's teeth were a little protruding, so she refused. Someone invited her to the next dance music, and when she saw that this person was wearing a white shirt and looking okay, she reluctantly agreed. Dancing, he asked her where she worked, and she said, "Neighborhood committee." He said, "Yes, there's still a job." He also said that he was the supply and marketing department of the bearing factory. The man danced well, but Liu Yiyi didn't have any emotion. A woman's emotions, no matter what, are first of all based on the identity of the other party, just as a man must first look at a woman's body and appearance. Men and women have their own "opinions", and they are universal, as if the minds are united by a mysterious force. After dancing this song, Liu Yiyi concluded that this was not the place where she came, and went to the door to pick up the bag and prepare to leave, but the man caught up and said, "Don't you want to dance a few more songs?" And he said, "I will come again tomorrow." Liu Yiyi snorted noncommittally. He sent her to the street and reported his mobile phone number, Liu Yiyi pretended to repeat it, he corrected a mistake, and asked her to dial it on the mobile phone. Liu Yiyi took out her mobile phone and pressed it a few times, but she didn't press the dial button, for fear of revealing her number. He said with some regret: "I saved it by dialing it." Liu Yiyi said: "Okay, okay, write it down." "Hurriedly walking across the street, thinking, how could I possibly meet such a man? The fly was like blood, so entangled, and he was entangled with it, and he didn't know how to get out. Alas, it is not easy for a woman to get out of the wall, and it is much less secure than a man to cheat, and the chances of finding the right person are much smaller, which is too unfair.

Still unwilling. As if she was struggling for the last time, Liu Yiyi met a man on the Internet again, and she no longer acted like a lady, and directly discussed emotional and physical problems, but she used modified language and retained the last hint of subtlety. couldn't stand the other party's repeated requests, and after dating for more than a month, a meeting was arranged. Before she went, she made all the preparations, if it looked pleasing to the eye, she didn't have to twist and pinch, just treat him as a pure man, do whatever he should do, is it necessary to appear as a lover and a noblewoman? It doesn't matter what is true, it is okay if it is fake, there is no eternity, it is okay to be instantaneous, it is better than nothing. Alas, how a woman longs for love, and how vulnerable this longing makes her! It's no wonder that there are always endless women who have fallen into the trap of the Internet. Are they so stupid? They had to be stupid. Thinking like this, she still couldn't help but imagine an unexpected surprise, and sighed that women are always creating idols, and if there is no one in life, they will project the light of their ideals to make the other party an idol. She was still disappointed when she saw the other party. When she entered the agreed lounge, she saw the man in the gray jacket at a glance. He said that he was forty years old,, fifty years old, and he didn't have the charm she imagined based on online conversations. Once again, idealism was dealt a heavy blow, and at that glance it was a complete negation of things, and this intuitive negation needed no more reason. At this moment, she also thoroughly understood herself, what she needed most was not only a man, but also a mood. In the final analysis, what women are looking forward to is a feeling, a love! The theme of their lives cannot be changed, and they cannot be changed! Liu Yi looked around, pretending to be looking for someone, and did not respond to the inquiring gaze of the person, and went out.

Liu Yiyi has since given up the urge to catch and collide. This period of blindness made her grope for a fact: a man who has feelings for himself, he will not have feelings for you, and his eyes fall on those young girls, anyway; If he likes himself, then he must have no feelings for him. Everything in the world has roots and causes, and no miracles will happen, which is equilibrium. When a woman reaches this age, she still has to find a feeling, she hummed softly in her heart, and a sneering face floated in her brain, the outline was very blurred, but the smile was very clear, and it flashed like electricity, making herself shudder. But can I greatly lower the benchmark of feelings, can I accept a pure man with the posture of a pure woman? No. So many dreams have passed away with the sky, and the space for flying is very small. After so much experience, Liu Yiyi painfully accepted the fact that there was no miracle and could not have happened.