Your worst enemy is always yourself. To a certain extent, fate depends on my mentality, and all blows from the outside world can only cause temporary disadvantages to you; An imbalance in mentality can deal a fatal blow to you. So, never imagine things so bad. Maybe tomorrow morning it will turn around.

Mentality determines a person's destiny and future

People's mentality will naturally form positive and negative states with the change of the environment. The combination of thought with any kind of state of mind creates a "magnetic" force that attracts other similar or related thoughts. A positive mindset brings out all our own ingenuity; And a negative mentality, like a spider's web entangled in the wings, feet and feet of an insect, binds our talents.

In a small county town, there are sisters and brothers who are very smart, and when they were in elementary school, they were always good students in the class because of their hard work. But there are unforeseen circumstances, and before I graduate from elementary school, there is an emotional crisis between my parents. The siblings were often too scared to go home. Later, the parents divorced, and both siblings were awarded to their father. Soon after, the father brought back a woman. Ever since the woman entered the door, the siblings had been called around and sometimes not even eaten. Once, the stepmother asked her younger brother to pour dirty water, and the sister wanted to help when she saw that her brother couldn't carry the bucket, but the stepmother went up and slapped the sister to the ground. When eating, the stepmother often puts a lot of chili peppers in the dishes, which is so spicy that the sisters and brothers burst into tears. Once, the weather was so cold that the siblings couldn't get inside the house until it got dark after school. The neighbors couldn't stand it anymore, so they asked them to go to the house first to warm up, but the sisters and brothers said that they didn't dare to go. It was in this environment that my sister learned to go against her stepmother, and her academic performance slowly slipped, and she failed to get into college, so she had to become a worker. The younger brother never gave up his studies, and once his father put an orange on his desk, which he did not see, and after a long time his father occasionally entered his room to find that the orange had rotted. From elementary school to high school, his grades have never been in third place, and he has always been a class cadre, and his popularity in the class has always been very good. After graduating from high school, he was admitted to college with honors and was escorted to graduate school. When he was in college, he used the money he earned to support his mother, and often sent some supplements to his stepmother.

Born to the same parents, the same lives in the shadow of family misfortune, the future of the elder sister is ruined, but the future of the younger brother is bright. Why? It's in the state of mind. The elder sister is in a difficult situation, and her mentality becomes fragile and irritable, but the younger brother is able to endure and always strive for one goal, leaving everything else behind, and as he grows older, he learns to be tolerant and understanding.

How big your heart is, how big your future is. To be a man, you must have a forbearance, tolerance and enterprising mentality, otherwise your future will be ruined in your own hands.

It can be seen how much influence a person's actions can be caused by the dominance of negative factors in the mentality! You can't be too emotional in anything, especially young people, because many people are irritable and have difficulty controlling themselves. But being young is the time when a person can make great achievements and have a bright future, if you can't grasp your mentality well, the bright future will not be with you.

If you have a bad mentality, no matter how high your IQ is, it's useless

A person with a high IQ may not be able to fully control his own destiny, without a good attitude as an aid, no matter how high the IQ is, he will only be ridiculed by life.

There is a textile factory in the mountain city that decided to lay off a group of people because of poor economic efficiency. Among the laid-off workers were two women, both in their 40s, one was a university graduate and an engineer at the factory, and the other was an ordinary female worker. In terms of IQ, the IQ of this engineer undoubtedly exceeds that of the ordinary worker, however, when it comes to layoffs, their mentality is very different, and it is this different mentality that determines their different fates in the future.

Female engineer laid off! This has become a hot topic in the whole factory, and people are talking and muttering. The female engineer resents this change in her life. She was angry, scolded, and argued, but to no avail. Because the number of laid-off personnel is still increasing, other engineers are also being laid off. Despite this, her heart was unbalanced, and she always felt that it was a shame to be laid off. She stayed at home all day depressed, reluctant to go out to meet people, let alone start her life again, and her lonely and melancholy state of mind suppressed everything about her, including her intelligence. She was already high blood pressure, her body was weak, and coupled with the blow of being laid off, it didn't take long for her to be defeated by her melancholy mentality and pass away alone.

But the mentality of the ordinary female worker was very different, and she was quickly freed from the shadow of being laid off. She wants others to be laid off and live, and she can live herself. She calmly accepted the reality and opened a small hot pot restaurant with the support of relatives and friends. Because of her good management, the hot pot restaurant business is very prosperous, and she has paid off the loan in just over a year. Now, the hot pot restaurant has expanded several times in size, and it has become a well-known restaurant in the mountain town, and she herself is living a better life than she did when she was in the factory.

One is an engineer with a high IQ, and the other is an ordinary female worker with an average IQ, both of whom have faced the same dilemma - being laid off, but why are their fates so different? The reason is that they have different mentalities.

The mentality of the female engineer is always in melancholy, which makes it impossible for her to make a rational evaluation of her life, let alone raise the sails of life again. She was completely immersed in her misfortune. Once a person has such a state of mind, his IQ is like a bright mirror covered with a thick layer of dust, and it is impossible to reflect everything at all. So, despite the high IQ of a female engineer, her mindset hinders the development of her IQ in the face of changes in life. Not only that, but her mindset led her to destruction. Although the IQ of an ordinary female worker is average, her peaceful attitude not only makes her IQ to the fullest, but also makes her life happier in the future.

As a Western psychologist said: mentality is a two-way door on the road of life, and people can turn it aside and enter success; It is also possible to turn it to the other side and enter the failure. Therefore, a high IQ is not as good as a good mentality, and only a good mentality can mobilize IQ to move towards success.

Happiness depends on the state of mind, not on material things

Happiness is an inner satisfaction, an indescribably sweet feeling. It has nothing to do with money and status, you have a good mindset and you can touch it.

It is impossible for a man who is full of jealousy to experience happiness, for both his misfortune and the happiness of others make him very uncomfortable;

It is impossible for a person with a strong sense of vanity to experience happiness, because he is always satisfying the feelings of others and never considers his true self;

It is impossible for a greedy person to experience happiness, because his mind is always seeking it, and does not feel it at all.

Happiness cannot be measured by money, it is incompatible with mere pleasure. For example, if you are studying at a university and only have 70 or 80 yuan a month, your life is quite hard, but you are very happy. Everyone knows that classmates often get together from time to time, a bottle of two pot heads, a plate of peanuts, and half a catty of pig's head meat, there will be talk and laughter, exchange reading experiences with each other, talk about ideals and ambitions, and that sense of happiness is still unforgettable and fascinating. The kind of happiness that used to be hard to come by today no matter how much money is spent.

When a group of people in suits and leather shoes walk out of a five-star hotel with a smile on their faces after eating shark fin and abalone, they may feel happy. And a group of migrant workers from other places are in a small shop on the side of the road, just a few plates of side dishes, drinking beer, talking and laughing, can you say that they are not happy?

Therefore, happiness cannot be measured by the amount of money, a person is rich, but not necessarily very happy. Because, he is either worried that others will secretly calculate him or be preoccupied with getting more money, and many people are chasing money, thinking that with money you can get everything, which is just a fool's idea.

In fact, happiness is not only the satisfaction of a certain desire, sometimes after the desire is satisfied, what is experienced is emptiness and boredom, and there is no jealousy, vanity and greed in the heart, it is possible to experience true happiness. In a small county town in Hubei, there is such a family, the parents are old, they have three daughters, only the eldest daughter graduated from college and has a job, and the other two daughters are still in high school. But everyone in this family feels happy. After dinner, both daughters went to school for self-study. They don't have to worry about anything at home. My parents went out for a walk together and had a good time with the neighbors. When it comes to the festival, the family is reunited, and it is even more enjoyable. There are often children's fights and laughter in the house, and the neighbors say enviously: "A few of your daughters are really obedient and good at studying." At this time, the parents' eyes were full of happy smiles. In fact, in this family, the financial burden is very heavy, and the two daughters are about to enter the university, which requires a large amount of expenses. There is no boy in the family as the pillar, but the daughters can bring happiness to their parents and are very filial. Parents also hold up a piece of the sky for their daughters so that they don't feel any cold wind and rain before they fly out of the house. So, each of them is happy and happy. "The moon is cloudy and sunny, and people have joys and sorrows, and this matter is difficult to complete." Since it is difficult to be perfect, why don't you think about the things that make you happy, but think about the things that are unhappy? Whether a person feels happy or not depends on his own state of mind.

The French sculptor Rodin once said: "For our eyes, it is not a lack of beauty, but a lack of discovery." "There is a lot of beauty and a lot of joy in life, and the key is whether you can find it.

If you woke up this morning in good health and without disease, you were luckier than millions of other people who couldn't even see the sun next week;

If you have never tried the dangers of war, the loneliness of prison, the torment of torture, and the taste of hunger, you are in a better position than the other five hundred million people;

If you can come and go in and out of a church or temple without the danger of being intimidated, brutalized, and killed, then you are more fortunate than the other three billion people;

If you have money in your bank, a ticket in your wallet, and change in your box, then you are among the eight luckiest people in the world;

If you have both parents, are not divorced, and meet all of the above conditions, then you are indeed a very rare earthling.

So, go to work and not for the purpose of earning money;

To love and forget all that others are not to you;

to dance regardless of whether or not others are paying attention;

Go and sing and don't think someone is listening;

To live is to think that this world is heaven.

In this way, you will find that in life, in fact, you are also very happy!

Only by having a calm mind can we make correct judgments

Decision-making is a major turning point in life, and one wrong step can lead to a losing game. Therefore, in the decision-making process, you must have a stable mindset, so that you can calmly analyze the pros and cons and make the best decision.

Jack Welch, perhaps the world's most celebrated CEO, served as chairman and chief executive of General Electric for 17 years and has personally drawn up a valuable blueprint for the restructuring of the American corporate world.

In the 80s of the 20th century, the United States encountered the fatal enemy that restricts the business development of American enterprises - inflation. Inflation is making it difficult for second-tier suppliers of goods and services to do business.

GE asked business unit leaders to ask one question: what can be done to dominate the market. Then they have to make decisive decisions about which businesses are worth nurturing and which should be abandoned. Welch's strategy did not meet with the consensus of GE executives, who saw no need to abandon a business simply because it was in third or fourth place in the field. However, their complaints could not change Jack Welch's decision-making. In this way, Welch cut 25 percent of the company and cut more than 100,000 jobs in just five years.

From 1985 to 1990, Welch reduced the company's administrative staff from 1,700 to about 1,000. Prior to Welch's tenure as GE's top leader, most of the company's corporate leaders reported to a group head, who in turn reported to the head of a higher-level department, up to the company's top executive. Moreover, each level has its own team that is responsible for finances, marketing plans, and checking the situation of each company. Welch disbanded these "groups" and "ministries" and removed organizational obstacles. Now, there is no barrier between the head of the business and the office of the top business officer, and there is direct communication.

He felt that there was a need to reduce the existing levels of management in order to enable senior managers to maximize their potential. He calls the strategic initiative "Reducing Levels" and aims to create a formal, open organization.

After the layoffs, the intervention of the company's administrative team was greatly reduced. In the past, businesses submitted a monthly financial report to the head office – even though no one used it. Now that Dennis Dymerman, the company's chief financial officer, has kept the two-month figures in their own hands, his finance team is focusing more on improving "things that affect the end result," such as inventory, accounts receivable, cash flow and so on. Instead of staring at the decimal point all day, the finance team spends more time evaluating possible business.

Jack Welch's aggressiveness, activism, unyielding pressure and unsettling for the status quo have made him an unrivaled CEO who has made General Motors what it is today with extraordinary will and perseverance.

In the decision-making process, men may have greater advantages, but there are also many women who have achieved their great careers with their positive and innovative thinking mode, bold and steady mentality, and Jin Yuxi, a leader in the cosmetics industry, is one of them.

When she was a TV presenter in the United States, she used many world-famous brands of skincare and cosmetics, but she felt that it was very difficult to rely on these things to make herself truly beautiful, and she had to be carefully selected and carefully matched. In China, a country that has opened up, young girls don't know how to really dress up beautifully, and the prices of skin care products and cosmetics of famous brands are also very high, beyond the spending power of most Chinese, and middle-aged and elderly women can't find anything that can make them beautiful. "After my own failed attempts, I just wanted to create something for Asian women that would bring out their characteristics," says Jin. These products can be quickly matched in color, are easy to use, and the price is also in line with the consumption level in Chinese mainland. While selling these products, you can also instruct them on how to use them, so that they can build the confidence of unique beauty. "Everything seems to be very accidental, it seems to be full of randomness, Jin Yuxi was prompted by a good intention to inadvertently discover the business opportunities that exist in this good market space, no one knows what the final outcome will be? In the beginning, things did not go well, because Jin Yuxi did not have many years of business experience like many successful businessmen, and it can even be said that she was never a businessman.

She constantly travels between the United States and China, research institutes and markets, constantly investigating, analyzing, researching, and even experimenting on her own face, her popularity and good personal image in China have been very helpful to her business, and soon, her Yuesai brand has become a household name in Chinese mainland as she is. Jin's bold decision was successful, and her cosmetics won a wide market in China.

A good attitude is extremely important for decision-makers, a trace of panic, impatience may cause mistakes in decision-making, so a successful decision-maker must also be a model of calm mentality.

People with a good attitude are more likely to reap love

Some people say that there is no rationality in love, and there is no inevitable factor in love that can be grasped. In fact, this is not the case, if you can face love with a more tolerant and firm attitude, love will definitely favor you.

In the face of love, you must not have any negative mentality. Otherwise, you will never get true love, you must think about the problem from the position of your lover, and pay your true feelings for the happiness of the other party. Because the flower of love is immature, its beauty needs to be carefully cared for by two people. Any negative mindset of humanity can make it wither.

As the highest animal on earth, human greed may also be the greatest, and happiness is clearly in his hands, but he reverie without bounds, and there may be better, so he gives up the happiness he has held in his hands to pursue ethereal happiness. We have to remember that what we love is our best.

Xiaoping has been dating his girlfriend Xiao Yin for a while, and he feels that he has found a grass that can warm his life, so he solemnly announced to his relatives and friends that he is going to get married.

Unexpectedly, at this time, many people stood up and said to him seriously and solemnly, marriage is a lifelong thing, how can you just hand in the first one and rush to conclusions, you should make multiple choices and choose the best. You...... The last sigh of infinite regret and helplessness seemed to confirm that his obsessive "lover" would regret it in the future.

However, Xiaoping did not listen to this, because he got some inspiration from a friend. One of Xiaoping's friends, who has talked about more than a dozen girlfriends, is still struggling to find the best, saying that he must find the best. But five years later, he is still alone.

Therefore, Xiaoping decided that on the issue of marriage and love, he "does not seek the best!" ”

He believes that only by seeking the best can you truly love someone, if you confess to your lover how deeply you love each day, but you always fantasize about meeting a more wonderful woman in a certain place one day, can this kind of love be called love? But a shriveled seed that will never get the soil of love.

Don't ask for the best, in order to accept your loved one calmly and calmly. This kind of love, plain but deep, although admitting that it is not the best, but still loving, does not this itself reflect the simplicity and purity of love? Not seeking the best, it is also a kind of indifferent and quiet mentality, and tranquility can go far; The love contained in this mentality will accompany you through the ups and downs of your life.

To change a bad mindset is to change a bad fate

Destiny can be changed because it depends on your state of mind, and if you can face up to yourself and change those bad mindsets, then your fate will change with it.

It is more difficult to know your mistake and have the courage to admit it and change it without hesitation. The reason why heroes are heroes and heroes, and the reason why sages are sages, is that they are outstanding in this regard.

In the Ming Dynasty, there was a famous figure named Yuan Lifan.

When Yuan was young, he met an old man surnamed Kong in a temple called Tzu Yun Temple. The old man has a long beard, fairy wind and bones, and looks extraordinary. After some exchanges, Yuan invited the old man to his home.

Mother said, "Receive Mr. Kong well, let him tell you a fortune, and see if the spirit is not good." As a result, Mr. Kong counted his previous things as good as he was at all.

Mr. Kong told him: "If you go to take the Xiucai exam next year, you will have to pass several exams. First of all, you have to go through the county examination, and when you take the county examination, you will be the fourteenth in the examination; There is a government in the county, and when you take the government exam, you will be ranked seventy-first; There is a province in the province, and when you take the provincial exam, you will be ranked ninth. The next year, he went to take the exam, and sure enough, there was nothing wrong, Mr. Kong calculated it correctly.

So, Yuan asked Mr. Kong to calculate his lifelong fate for him. Mr. Kong told him: "You should be the first in the exam in a certain year, you can fill the vacancies in a certain year, and you can be a tribute student in a certain year." After being a tribute, he would go to a large county in Sichuan to serve as a county magistrate one year, and after three and a half years, he returned to his hometown. When you turn 53 on August 10, you will die childless. Yuan Lifan recorded all this in detail and kept it in mind.

Amazingly, since the second year, the ranking of each examination has been consistent with that of Mr. Kong.

From then on, Yuan really understood that the good fortune and misfortune of a person's life, birth, old age, sickness and death, rich and poor, were all arranged by God and could not be forced. If you don't have it in your life, you can't get it no matter how hard you use your brain or try; If you have something in your life, you don't need to think much or work hard, you will naturally have it. So, he accepted his fate, had nothing to ask for, nothing to gain, nothing to lose, and his heart was truly calm.

After he became a tribute, he lived in Beijing for a year, sitting quietly all day long, without any thoughts, and without reading or writing. Because he knew his fate and it was useless to think about it, he didn't think about anything anymore.

One year, Yuan returned to the south and went on a study tour to the university run by the imperial court, Guozijian in Nanjing. Before entering the school, he went to Qixia Mountain in Nanjing to visit the famous Yungu Zen master. He sat opposite each other in the meditation hall with Zen Master Yungu, and he didn't close his eyes for three days and three nights, still full of energy. Yungu Zen Master was secretly surprised, and thought: How can such a young person have such a profound concentration? What a rarity! Rare!

So, Zen Master Yungu asked, "The reason why ordinary people can't become saints is because they have distracting thoughts and delusions in their hearts. You sat here for three days and three nights, and I didn't see you having a delusion. What is the reason for this? ”

Yuan replied, "Because I already know my fate." Twenty years ago, there was a gentleman surnamed Kong who had already made up his mind, and the fortunes and misfortunes of my life, birth, old age, sickness and death were all doomed, so what else was there to think about? It's useless to think about it, so I just don't want to think about it. ”

Yungu Zen Master smiled and said, "I thought you were a heroic man with profound concentration, but it turned out that you were just an ordinary man. ”

Yuan asked Zen Master Yungu for advice: "How do you say this?" ”

Zen Master Yungu said, "Why is the fate of man doomed? This is because people have hearts and delusions. If people don't have a heart and no delusions, their fate will not be doomed. You didn't fit your eyes for three days and three nights, I thought you put aside your delusions, but I didn't expect you to still have delusions, and this delusion is - you don't want anything anymore. ”

Yuan asked, "In that case, then according to you, can fate be changed?" ”

Zen Master Yungu said: "The Confucian classics "Book of Songs" and "Book of Songs" have said such a sentence - life is made by me, and blessing is sought by myself. This is indeed a wise saying. Anyone's fate is determined by their own mentality, and people's happiness depends on how they pursue. It is also said in the Buddhist scriptures: Seek wealth and wealth, seek men and women to get men and women, and seek longevity to live a long life. Lying is the fundamental precept of Buddhism, can the Buddha still lie? Will it still deceive you? ”

Yuan further consulted the Yungu Zen Master: "Mencius said: 'If you ask for something, then you can get something.'" Indeed, it means asking for oneself. However, Mencius's words are aimed at a person's moral cultivation, and a person's moral cultivation can undoubtedly be obtained through one's own cultivation, and fame and wealth are things outside the body, can it also be obtained through internal self-cultivation? ”

Zen Master Yungu said: "Mencius's words are not wrong, but you yourself have misunderstood. You understand half of it right, and you don't know the other half yet. In fact, in addition to moral cultivation, which can be obtained through the heart, everything can also be obtained. Haven't you heard such a sentence from the Sixth Patriarch? 'All the blessings, not far from the square inch, from the heart, all the senses. That is to say, any success and happiness are inseparable from people's hearts, and whether or not all pursuits are ultimately successful depends on people's mentality. To pursue everything, you must first start by pursuing the heart. Therefore, when Mencius said that seeking oneself is not only about moral cultivation, but also about fame and wealth. Moral cultivation is internal to itself, and fame and wealth are external, but the acquisition of both should start from the heart, rather than abandoning the heart and blindly pursuing it outside. Starting from the heart, both internal and external pursuits can be obtained. If you don't introspect and just blindly chase outward, then, despite your desperate efforts and exhaustion of many methods and means, all of these things are external, and if you don't have inner awareness, you can only run into walls like headless flies, and in the end there is no result. Therefore, if a person pursues fame and wealth from the outside, he will often lose both the inside and the outside. ”

After listening to the words of Zen Master Yungu, Yuan suddenly became enlightened.

Zen Master Yungu told him: "Mr. Kong said that you can't go to the department, you don't have a son, this is calculated according to your nature, this is a sin made in heaven, and you can completely change it through your inner efforts." As long as you expand your virtues, change your mentality, do more good deeds, and accumulate more yin virtues, then you will be able to change your destiny. The Book of Changes is a profound work, and the central idea is to teach people to seek good fortune and avoid evil. If human fate is predestined, why should we seek good fortune and avoid evil? ”

After listening to the words of Zen Master Yungu, on the same day, he changed his name to Fan, which means that he understands the theory of living and living, and is determined not to take the road of ordinary people, but to change his fate. From then on, he was cautious all day long, not daring to let his behavior go beyond the thunder pool by half a step. His mindset began to change. In the past, he indulged his personality, said and acted casually, and lived one day at a time. And now, he is always vigilant, constantly reflecting on his own behavior, and even when he is alone, he often feels that an invisible force is watching over him; When someone hates and slanders him, he can tolerate it peacefully, his heart is quite calm, he is not as impetuous as before, and he can't stand the slightest grievance.

In the second year, the Ministry of Rites conducted the imperial examination. Mr. Kong calculated that he should have taken the third place in the exam, but he took the first place in the exam, and Mr. Kong's hexagram finally did not work. In the big exam in the fall, he passed the exam again. Mr. Kong counted that he would not be successful in his life, but he actually passed the exam.

Since then, Yuan Lifan has been convinced of the theory of the adaptation of fate, and has always checked and reflected on himself: Is it brave to accumulate good deeds and virtues? Do you often wonder when saving people? Are you still at fault for what you say? Is it possible to do it when you are sober and indulge yourself when you are drunk?

After changing his name, Yuan Lifan took control of his own destiny: he had a son and named him Tianqi; He not only passed the Juren examination, but also obtained the Jinshi; Mr. Kong said that he was supposed to go to Sichuan to be the magistrate, but he later became the magistrate of Baodi, Tianjin, and finally became the official of Shangbaosi Shaoqing; Mr. Kong calculated that his life expectancy was only 53 years, but he lived until he was 74 years old.

The story of Yuan Lifan proves the emergence of a miracle, and most people cannot achieve this miracle because they cannot remove the human weakness in themselves.

There are stubborn things in everyone's heart that hinder the realization of their potential, such as jealousy, suspicion, vanity, stubbornness, low self-esteem, cowardice, greed, fear, and so on. Therefore, the process of constantly overcoming external difficulties on the road to success is actually a process of constantly releasing potential, a process of overcoming one's own weaknesses and overcoming oneself.