The wind is biting, and the night is gloomy.

On a snowy night, pushing a bicycle alone in the fine snow, Cheng Jiangshui's heart was hot at the moment.

She was pleased that Cheng Jianghai matured quickly, and she was also glad that her younger brother did not fall into the psychological barrier, and at the same time, she also felt an unspeakable loss and self-blame for his inability to embark on a brighter and more open path.

The wind and snow along the way made Cheng Jiangshui stagger back to the staff dormitory of the archives. He Yi'an, who was meditating by the bedside, saw her enter the room, so he came to his senses, rubbed his cheeks full of worries, and made himself feel a little more energetic: "I'm back!" ”

Cheng Jiangshui nodded, stomped on the snow water on his feet, and responded: "Well, I'm back, I'm back, I'll cook for Dad and Jiang Hai, and I'll be back after cleaning up!" ”

"How's Mom?" He Yi'an opened his mouth and asked.

"Well, it's still the same."

Cheng Jiangshui rubbed his hands, let out a breath of hot air from his mouth, and roasted it on the fire in the house. Obviously frozen, the flush on his cheeks was a lump, and he said in a consultative tone while roasting the fire: "Mom's body can't be negligent in winter, and I think it's better to heat up the house, and I can't rely on a coal stove alone." ”

He Yi'an nodded and asked, "How much do you have to pay?" ”

"I've calculated, it's almost 200 yuan for a winter!"

"Then give it up! You can't do much with this money. ”

He Yi'an also said without hesitation, then raised his eyebrows, took out an envelope from the drawer on the table, and handed it to Cheng Jiangshui: "Oh, by the way, this is the salary I just paid, give it to you." ”

Cheng Jiangshui stretched out his hand to take it and hesitated: "Well, what about you?" ”

"I left some food money and handed it over to the canteen, and I don't need it in other places, you can take it."

Cheng Jiangshui opened the envelope and glanced at it briefly, then took out another twenty yuan from the middle and handed it to He Yi'an: "Here, you can keep another twenty, in case a colleague has a party or something, it doesn't look good if you don't have any money in your pocket." ”

He Yi'an pondered for a while, and it made sense to think about it, so he took it. Cheng Jiangshui turned his head, took out his notebook from the drawer, and made an account on He Yi'an's salary, which may have been Cheng Jiangshui's habit.

On this notebook, there is basically a detailed account of all the expenses of the Cheng family.

Developing this habit may be related to Li Xiulan's teaching of Cheng Jiang's water management accounts.

But when He Yi'an saw Cheng Jiangshui register his salary on it again, he always felt a little angry, frowned and said, "Why do you keep remembering this!" It's all a family, is it necessary to calculate the accounts so clearly! ”

Cheng Jiangshui turned his head and said with a smile: "Remember, my mother said when she taught me to manage the accounts, and this brother should also settle the accounts." Your money is not only for our family, but mainly for my mother's illness. If Mom knew that I was so confused, she would definitely scold me! ”

He Yi'an pursed his lips, and it was not easy to refute Cheng Jiangshui's theory of the housekeeper's mother-in-law, and said curtly: "You, you always take your mother's words as holy decrees, and you refuse to disobey them at all. ”

Cheng Jiangshui raised his eyebrows and said a little playfully: "Of course, what my mother said has always been very reasonable, but we didn't understand it at the time." Oh! By the way, Dad asked about your work today. ”

He Yi'an trembled slightly in his heart and asked, "Oh, what did you say?" ”

"It's not that I'm afraid you'll be too condescending to stay in the archives, I'm worried that you'll lose confidence."

Cheng Jiangshui directly relayed Cheng Jia'an's worries, which made He Yi'an suddenly think of Jiang Nan's reminder. Opinions from different directions surprisingly converge to the same point, and I have to say that it is clear to the bystanders.

This should have been a thing that he attached great importance to, but He Yi'an's heart became even more anxious at the moment. Do you really want to be like what others see, and you will slowly decay?

No, it's absolutely not!

He Yi'an's sudden silence surprised Cheng Jiangshui, and hurriedly asked, "What's wrong with you?" Look at the look on your face that is very bad. ”

He Yi'an came back to his senses and covered up: "Oh, it's okay, go back and tell Dad, don't let him worry, I'm fine!" ”

He Yi'an's panicked expression was also keenly captured by Cheng Jiangshui, she stepped forward, her eyes were full of concern, she held He Yi'an's hand, and said softly: "Do you have something on your mind, can I not feel it?" Yi'an, what's wrong? Is it something that doesn't go well at work? ”

He Yi'an pursed his lips, and said flatly: "It's not a big deal, this is not about to be selected for professional titles, I just thought if I could work hard and move up to the next level." ”

Cheng Jiangshui held He Yi'an's hand tightly, and asked hesitantly, "It's very difficult, right?" ”

"It's a little bit, after all, the working hours are a little shorter!" He Yi'an's tone was a little gloomy.

Cheng Jiangshui looked at He Yi'an with a pair of starry eyes, flashed with pity, and comforted: "It's okay if you can't help it, it's better to live your life than anything else." ”

He Yi'an's face was calm, but his heart twitched: "Those who can fight still have to fight, first, I also want to prove my ability, and secondly, if I am regraded, my salary and bonus can also be increased a lot." ”

Cheng Jiangshui slowly put his face on the back of He Yi'an's hand, and hundreds of thoughts surged in his heart. It is said that husband and wife are of the same heart, and she can feel He Yi'an's growing anxiety since he joined the work.

At first, she thought it was just an unaccustomed feeling when she first arrived, but gradually, this perception became more and more obvious, until Cheng Jia'an's words were like an initiation, which made her suddenly feel uneasy.

The embarrassment in life and the helplessness in her career are actually nothing, the days are ordinary and the life is tight, as long as He Yi'an can be by her side, she is very happy and satisfied.

She is sometimes reluctant to change this state of affairs, because she doesn't know if the future after the change is not the kind of future she wants.

"Yi'an, I've worked hard for you, I really don't know how to survive without you." Cheng Jiangshui said poignantly.

He Yi'an naturally didn't know the complexity of his wife's mood at the moment, stroked her hair, and smiled warmly: "We are husband and wife, and we are brother and sister plus husband and wife, where do you say we are going to find this fate, I'm afraid that we are the only couple in the world." ”

Cheng Jiangshui muttered in response: "So, I cherish it!" ”

He Yi'an took a breath, full of longing, and said straightforwardly: "Jiangshui, I also cherish it, I just look forward to a better life, let's have a child." ”

Cheng Jiangshui paused, slowly raised his head, but there was a look of embarrassment between his eyebrows: "Yi'an, I also think about the child's affairs, but you know, the conditions at home do not allow it, my mother's illness is all supported by money, and I still have to take care of her, you said that if we have a child, it will be even more difficult in the future." ”

"Yes......" He Yi'an sighed abruptly, and his expression instantly became depressed: "It's okay, I'll just talk about it." ”

Looking at He Yi'an's appearance of Xingshan, Cheng Jiangshui also felt guilty.

She actually understands in her heart that she is not too young to be young, and the idea of wanting children is not nothing, but how can the current family situation be a burden?

You must know that He Yi'an is the only son in the family, and he doesn't want children for a long time, what does He Yi'an think? What will Du Wanling think?

Even if they can understand it in the short term, but as a daughter-in-law, or even as a woman, not having children will be a big regret in life.

However, the cruelty of reality makes Cheng Jiangshui have to think about being a good daughter first, and then he can be a good wife, or even a good mother.

He Yi'an's frustration at the moment made Cheng Jiangshui entangled and full of guilt. She rubbed the back of He Yi'an's hand apologetically, and said faintly: "Yi'an, let's wait and see, okay?" ”

Maybe what he said just now was really a momentary longing, and He Yi'an, who returned to reality, became a little depressed, and sighed deeply: "Hey, okay! It's not early, go to bed! ”

Saying that He Yi'an was about to make the bed to sleep, Cheng Jiangshui said while helping: "You go to sleep first, and then I'll read the book." ”

He Yi'an frowned and asked, "Are you still thinking about taking the correspondence exam?" ”

"I've been holding on for a long time, I don't want to give up, you go to sleep first!"

"Alright then, don't be too late!"

Cheng Jiangshui agreed, gently covered He Yi'an with the quilt, looked at him apologetically again, and then hid in a corner of the room, turned on the dim lamp and studied silently.

In the past few years since he came back from the regiment, no matter how tired and depressed he was, Cheng Jiangshui did not lose his profession and study.

As she said, no matter what the situation is, you have to persevere.

Persist in studying, insisting on faith, insisting on life, and also insisting on fighting, only by persevering, can there be hope. Whether to live with hope, or to live to fight for hope, is not a proposition, not a choice, but a belief.