Everyone has moments of frustration and low mood. When a subordinate suffers a setback or misfortune, the boss should not stand idly by, but should visit the subordinate and give appropriate comfort to cheer him up and tide over the difficulties. In this way, the boss can not only win the trust and support of others, but also close the relationship between superiors and subordinates and create a harmonious working environment. However, when the boss appeases his subordinates, he must pay attention to the use of various pacifying techniques to achieve the desired effect.

●Guide subordinates to hope for the future

This method is to paint a bright future, so that the other party will have spiritual sustenance, so that they will naturally get rid of the worry of the current unfavorable situation. The future is uncertain and unpredictable, and because of this, the future can be shaped, created, and desired. When there are temporary problems and dilemmas that are difficult to solve, the boss can guide the frustrated subordinates to look to the future, point out their advantages in creating the future, and make them have confidence and hope for the future, so as to get rid of too much thinking about the current setbacks and create the future with high spirits.

There is a pair of young men and women, Xiao Zhou and Xiao Hu, who have been friends for more than 3 years, watching movies together and going to restaurants, and they have a very close relationship. But when Xiao Zhou had all the things to get married and asked Xiao Hu to register his marriage with him, Xiao Hu suddenly broke off his relationship with him. Xiao Zhou found Xiao Hu's theory, but was rejected again. He was angry and hateful, yelling and scolding outside the door, banging his head against the door, and dying outside Xiaohu's house. At this time, Xiao Zhou's boss happened to pass by and ran over to him and asked, "Is there love between you?" Xiao Zhou was silent when asked. The boss further enlightened and said: "Just watching movies together, walking the streets, eating and drinking, that is not love. True love is not something that money can buy. Besides, bondage can't make a husband and wife, since people don't love you, why should you force it? You're only 25 years old this year, and it's not worth dying for a girl who doesn't love you. You have strong business ability, work and motivation, and your future career is unlimited, as long as you work hard, you still can't find a good daughter-in-law? The words made Xiao Zhou, who had a sad face, stretch his eyebrows and eyes.

The established fact that the young man Xiao Zhou fell out of love cannot be changed, and it may be difficult to find a way to reunite after breaking the mirror. In this case, the superiors deliberately diverted Xiao Zhou's attention from the current bad situation, guided him to look to the future, and pointed out to him the two advantages of creating a future - young and motivated, emphasizing that as long as he makes full use of these advantages, he will definitely be able to find a happy life partner. In this way, Xiao Zhou's spirit has sustenance, and his mental state has improved.

●Emphasize the objective factors of the occurrence of the problem

This method refers to attributing the reason for the defeat to the objective environment, and pointing out that no matter how good a person is, there will inevitably be times when the horse stumbles. There are successes and failures, this is a normal law of nature and society. Many people fail not because they are too poor or not working hard enough, but because of various objective reasons. When the boss comforts his subordinates, he can deliberately attribute the reasons for the other party's failure to the objective environment, and use excellent people as examples to illustrate the inevitability of some failures, so as to alleviate the loser's doubts about his own ability and ease their strong self-blame and frustration.

Turkey, after centuries of Greek occupation, was determined to drive the Greeks out of its territory. In 1922, the Turkish national hero Musno Kemal delivered a short, Napoleonic speech to his soldiers: "Keep moving, your aim is the Mediterranean." And so, a fierce battle began. The Turks won in the end. When the two Greek generals went to Kemal's stronghold to surrender, the Turkish soldiers shouted insults at them. Kemal immediately stopped it, and showed no sign of the arrogance of a victor. He stepped forward and took the hands of the two generals, and said to them gently, "Please be seated, two gentlemen, you must be very tired from walking." After discussing the matters and details of the surrender, Kemal did not forget to comfort the two losers: "Two gentlemen, there are many contingencies in war, and sometimes the best soldiers lose the battle. ”

As an outstanding military strategist, Kemal knew that victory and defeat are a common thing in soldiers, and sometimes success and failure are not subject to human will. In order to comfort the two enemy generals who surrendered and make them a positive force for their own side, Kemal deliberately attributed the reason for their defeat to the factor of chance, and pointed out that no matter how good the generals were, they could fail in the harsh objective environment, which greatly alleviated the frustration of the two generals after their defeat, made them break free from the shadows, and then reconsidered their political choices.

●Express trust as always

The boss shows the same trust in the subordinate who has made mistakes, which is the greatest comfort to the subordinate. Generally speaking, the reason why the negligent person feels worry and pain is because he is afraid of the consequences of his mistake, and on the other hand, he is afraid that his mistake will cause resentment and resentment from others. Since the consequences of making a mistake are inevitable, the attitude of the victim and the boss is particularly important.

If the boss can show his trust in the other party despite the great psychological pressure, then the subordinate will definitely be greatly comforted and encouraged, so that he can cheer up and deal with future problems.

Bob Hoover is a famous test pilot in the United States, and his stunts in the air are breathtaking. Once, he was flying back to Los Angeles after performing in San Diego. However, at an altitude of more than 90 meters above the ground, two engines happened to fail at the same time, but thanks to his quick reaction and superb technology, the plane miraculously landed.

After Hoover's emergency landing, the first thing he did was to check the plane's oil. As he expected, the propeller plane he was flying was loaded with jet oil.

Hoover immediately called in the mechanic in charge of maintenance. The young mechanic was already in agony, and when he saw Hoover, he was even more frightened and cried. Because of his negligence, he almost lost the lives of three people.

At this time, Hoover did not get as angry as everyone expected, he just stretched out his arm, hugged the mechanic's shoulder, and said confidently: "To prove that you can do a good job, I would like to ask you to help me with the maintenance of my plane tomorrow." ”

Since then, Hoover's plane has never gone wrong. The sloppy maintenance worker became conscientious and meticulous.

Originally, the mechanic made an unforgivable mistake, although it did not lead to tragic consequences, but it was enough to arouse suspicion, blame and resentment, and this obviously became his greatest psychological pressure. In this case, instead of reproaching him, the driver, Hoover, expressed his trust as always, and handed over the next maintenance task to him, which not only relieved the other party's worries, but also helped him regain confidence and courage.

●Tell the story of the failures of successful people

Telling the stories of successful people and setting an example for those who fail is an important way to comfort and motivate others. On the one hand, the boss can emphasize the great achievements and honors of successful people, and on the other hand, emphasize that these achievements and honors are obtained in the indomitable and unyielding struggle, so as to contrast the discouragement of the failed subordinates, so that they can see their own shortcomings, realize that it is not feasible to only hope for success without unremitting efforts, so as to rekindle the enthusiasm for progress.

Hua Xiang is a technician in a township-run factory, for a period of time, he worked hard for a small technological innovation, and stayed up dozens of all-nighters, but in the end it was a failure, and attracted some people's criticism. Huaxiang was disheartened for a while, and decided not to suffer anymore. Huaxiang's boss Liu said to Huaxiang after he found out: "Huaxiang, what kind of people in the world do you say are the greatest and what kind of people are the smallest? Hua Xiang said: "The warriors who are not afraid of sacrifice are the greatest, and the snobs who see money are the smallest." Liu said: "Your words also make sense, but I think the people in the world who have 'tiger energy' are the greatest, and those who have 'rat energy' are the smallest." Edison made more than 1,000 inventions in his lifetime, and he failed 1,200 times when he invented the light bulb we use. Someone ridiculed him for failing 1,200 times, and he said, 'No! I managed to find 1200 materials that are not suitable for filament! You see how many people's 'tiger spirit' they have, and you have a little 'rat spirit', there is nothing wrong with it, but you don't dare to get out of the hole when you hear a little wind. After hearing this, Hua Xiang smiled indifferently and said: "Although I am a rat, I will not be depressed for such a trivial matter, let's see!" Sure enough, Huaxiang continued to tackle key problems under the persuasion and encouragement of his boss, and soon succeeded.

When technician Hua Xiang was discouraged by the failure of technological innovation, his boss brought out Edison, who was "walking" with him, as an example, which was naturally very appropriate. The boss first emphasized Edison's great achievement of obtaining more than 1,000 invention patents in his lifetime, and then pointed out that the invention of the light bulb alone had failed 1,200 times, and focused on Edison's optimism in the face of failure.

●Develop self-confidence in subordinates

Even subordinates of comparable ability can work in a very different way just because of their self-confidence. Therefore, cultivating the self-confidence of subordinates is an important and labor-saving "power investment". Here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. When talking to a subordinate, take it seriously and make him feel valued.

2. Don't force your subordinate to do what he can't do.

3. Actively encourage and praise the creativity of subordinates, and try to give subordinates the opportunity to perform. The boss should let the members show their heads more, such as asking the subordinates to speak more during the meeting, and quoting the opinions and opinions of the subordinates when the boss speaks, etc.

4. When entrusting responsibility, let subordinates play their own way. Even if things are not done properly, don't take it back right away. Be kind and compassionate to your subordinates.

5. Let subordinates share the power to participate in decision-making.

6. Don't confuse a subordinate with his work. If a subordinate does something wrong, make him understand that it is his work, not himself, that you are not satisfied with.

●Sympathize but don't be merciful

That is, put yourself in the shoes of others, compare your heart with your heart, empathize, and take the misfortune of others as your own, and resonate emotionally. However, they should exchange thoughts and feelings on a completely equal footing, give each other spiritual and moral support, and share each other's emotional pain. Sometimes, sympathy can also include feelings of admiration, affection, and admiration.

Compassion is a genuine kindness. Mercy is not an equal exchange of thoughts and feelings, not a spiritual and moral gift, but a kind of emotional charity between the superior and the inferior, respect and the inferior, the rich and the poor, the strong to the weak, the victor to the defeated, and the lucky to the unfortunate. The giver consciously or unconsciously reveals a sense of luck and superiority to the recipient, and more or less despises and underestimates the other party, which contains the element of hypocrisy.

Sympathetic words, with both consolation and encouragement, are low and powerful, and try not to say words such as "pitiful" and "evil" to your face. The words of mercy are only blindly sad, the tone is low and weak, and the words "pitiful" and "evil" are often on the lips, as if they are appreciating and chewing on the pain of the other party.

For people with strong ambition, self-esteem, and strong personality, no matter how unfortunate their situation, pity is an insult in disguise, which only stabs their self-esteem and provokes their disgust. For the old, the young, the sick, and the weak, simple mercy can only prompt them to indulge in the abyss of despair and find it difficult to extricate themselves, let alone cheer up and fight against the unreasonable world, unfair treatment, and unfortunate fate.