In a sense, the relationship between us and our superiors is more important than the relationship between our subordinates and peers, and language plays an extremely important role in the communication and contact with our superiors. Therefore, we can't help but put more effort into the language art of talking to our bosses. Everyone has to talk to their boss almost every day, report on the situation, ask for work instructions and daily greetings. In this process, everyone unconsciously uses many techniques, and we will analyze them from five aspects below.

● Compliment your boss subtly

The meaning of the words taken here is purely technical and has no moral implications. A compliment is in no way the same as a "sycophant", because being complimented is everyone's need, and your superiors are no exception. No one thinks of their existence as worthless, people crave the attention of others, and superiors prefer to find a sense of self-satisfaction in the compliments of their subordinates.

When it comes to Han Xin, everyone is no stranger, he helped Liu Bang, the ancestor of the Han Dynasty, to dominate the world, and was named the king of Chu, and was later captured by Gaozu due to political struggle. Liu Bang was originally from the market, and wanted to take this opportunity to mock him, so he asked: "You see how many soldiers and horses can I bring with my ability?" He replied, "Your Majesty can have 100,000 soldiers." Gao Zu then asked about Xiangguo Xiao He, and replied that it was a million. Finally, Liu Bang asked, "How many soldiers can you bring Han Xin?" Han Xin replied, "The more generals the better." "That is to say: the more troops I lead, the better. Liu Bang teased him because of this: "Since this is the case, why are you still defeated by me and caught?" The general replied, "I am only good at commanding soldiers, but Your Majesty, you are good at commanding generals!" "It means that although we have our own strengths, you are much smarter than me, and I am not as good as you.

Han Xin's words are so clever, although this is a compliment to Han Gaozu, but it does have a level, and from the perspective of language arts, I can't find a little fault. What's even more rare is that this happened after he was captured and imprisoned, and he actually had such wit! Although Han Xin did not save his life, at least he saved face here, and made Gaozu happy, killing two birds with one stone, which can be described as extremely wonderful. Of course, this is the key to compliments, if you don't work at home, regardless of the occasion or object, use it blindly, or use the language too vulgarly, it will be boring for yourself.

●I do not shake the privacy of the superior

As the saying goes: don't hit people in the face, and don't expose them when scolding. In China, "face" is a very important thing. For the sake of "face", the small ones will turn their faces, and the big ones will cause deaths. Many people can suffer a loss or a loss, but they just can't suffer a loss of "no face". If you don't care about other people's face, you will suffer one day. Therefore, old and sophisticated people never easily speak ill of others, especially their bosses, in public, and would rather send high hats one by one, which not only saves the face of others, but others will also do the same, give you face, tacitly understand each other, and break up happily.

Ming Taizu Zhu Yuanzhang came from a humble background, and after becoming the emperor, it was natural that some poor buddies from the past would come to the capital to find him. These people thought that Zhu Yuanzhang would give them an official and a half-post in the affection of his old friends, but who knew that Zhu Yuanzhang was the most taboo for others to expose his old background, thinking that it would damage his prestige, so he rejected most of the visitors.

There is a childhood friend of Zhu Yuanzhang, who traveled thousands of miles from his hometown Fengyang to Nanjing, and after several twists and turns, he entered the palace. As soon as they met, this old man shouted in front of the civil and military officials: "Zhu Laosi, you are really majestic as an emperor!" Do you still recognize me? Back then, the two of us played bare-bottomed together, and you always let me beat you up when you did bad things. I remember one time when the two of us stole beans together and ate them, and cooked them in a broken crockpot with adults on our backs. Before the beans are cooked, you grab them, and the crockpot is broken, and the beans are scattered all over the ground. You ate too quickly, and the beans got stuck in your throat or I helped you get them. Have you forgotten? ”

This old man was still chattering endlessly, but Zhu Yuanzhang couldn't sit still anymore, thinking that this person was too uninteresting, and actually exposed my shortcomings in front of hundreds of civil and military officials, so where could I put my face as an emperor. In a fit of rage, Zhu Yuanzhang ordered this person to be killed.

"Speak for His Holiness", this is a rule of officialdom. A person, no matter how humble his original background or how disgraceful his experience was, once he becomes a great official and climbs to a high position, he is covered with spiritual light and becomes sacred. Everything that was unsightly in the past should either be written off and never mentioned again; Either reinvent, reinterpret, and give new meanings. How can this poor guy understand this, he thinks he has an old friend with Zhu Yuanzhang, but he actually exposed the emperor's old bottom in public and offended the "reverse scale", isn't he unlucky?

Therefore, you must pay attention to communicating with your boss in your daily work, never hurt your boss's dignity, and at the same time pay attention to keeping secrets that your boss does not want others to know.

●Loyal and realistic

As a superior, what kind of subordinates do you like? A hypocritical villain or an honest gentleman? Although the choice between the two may seem difficult at times, at least in terms of attitude, many people prefer the latter. Then, please don't forget that your superiors are also looking at their subordinates with this kind of gaze. In the eyes of a superior, factors such as work ability are important, but the first thing he looks at when evaluating his subordinates is his attitude, and you must not forget this in your conversations with your superiors and in your deliberations on language arts.

When General de Gaulle entered Paris as the savior of the French nation, Monsieur Pompidou, who was no more than a secondary school teacher, watched with great admiration as de Gaulle walked towards the Élysée. Later, Pompidou entered the government by chance, which led him to meet Charles de Gaulle, who was then the president of France. Whenever he spoke to the president, he always watched with reverence, reported his work truthfully, listened to the president's instructions word for word, and then carried them out to the letter. Pompidou did not like to be hypocritical, and he always spoke to the president with a spirit of loyalty. It was this faithful and pragmatic attitude that was appreciated by de Gaulle, an appreciation that stemmed from Pompidou's realism and mastery of the art of language. With de Gaulle's support, he became his successor, rising to the rank of prime minister, and later to the Élysée Palace.

Pompidou's success may have played a role in other factors, but it is undeniable that it was his spirit of work and language art that paved the way for him to the presidency.

●Please be less than excited

There are many scenes in "Romance of the Three Kingdoms" lobbying the boss, and the most exciting part of it is probably Zhuge Liang persuading Sun Quanlian, the lord of Wu, to join Liu Kangcao. This "Wolong among people" uses what we usually call the "radical method".

After Liu Bei's army defeated Xinye, he was defeated for thousands of miles, unable to fight back, and had no other way but to unite with Jiangdong Sun Quan to fight Cao Cao. The purpose of Kong Ming's trip was to persuade Sun Quan to form an alliance. If you change to an ordinary envoy, in order to ask for full reinforcements from the other party, you will definitely persuade in a low voice. Kong Ming, on the other hand, was well aware of the situation at the time, and took advantage of the relationship between Sun and Liu to show a relatively tough attitude, using the contrast between Liu Bei and Sun Quan to stimulate the latter's self-esteem and make him fight.

Kong Ming first said: "At the time of the great chaos in the world, the general (referring to Sun Quan) you raised troops in Jiangdong, my lord Liu Bei recruited troops in Hannan, and at the same time competed with Cao Cao for the world, but in the past few years, Cao Cao has almost bulldozed all the other princes, and now it is annexing Jingzhou, which is famous all over the world, and the heroes are all snared by it, so it has caused my lord Liu Bei to lose today." Now that Cao Cao's pro-unified army is heading south, looking at Jiangdong, will the general also weigh his own strength to deal with this situation, if you plan to fight him to the death, it is better to simply cut off contact with Cao Cao as soon as possible and prepare early; If you don't want to do this, it's better to listen to the advice of some of the strategists, pack your armor, and surrender as soon as possible! The big war is coming, and it will be too late to make a decision. ”

Sun Quan asked unhappily, "According to what you said, why didn't Liu Bei surrender to Cao Cao?" Kong Ming replied: "Do you know the story of Tian Heng?" He is just a strong man of the Qi country, and he is loyal and righteous, and he is unwilling to surrender to Han Gaozu and committed suicide, not to mention that my lord Liu Bei is a dignified Han family clan, a talented man who is admired by the world, and the world admires him, whether the elimination of Cao Cao succeeds or fails, it can only be said to be the mandate of heaven, how can he surrender? The implication is: Liu Bei must not surrender, only Sun Quan can surrender.

As the head of a country, how could Sun Quan be so stimulated? He was only twenty-six years old at the time, and he was really angry, so he made up his mind: "I have the land of several counties in Jiangdong and hundreds of thousands of elite soldiers, how can I surrender to Cao Cao willingly?" I've already decided (Lian Liu Kangcao). ”

After the success of the radical method, Kong Ming carefully analyzed the situation at that time and the actual strength of Cao's army for Sun Quan, pointed out the weaknesses of Cao's army, and judged the development trend of the world's three divisions after the Battle of Chibi, thus completely relieving Sun Quan's anxiety and concerns. Sun Quan was really happy and confident because of this, and gave a death order at the subsequent imperial meeting to resist Cao to the end. Soon after, the Sun-Liu coalition and Cao Cao fought a decisive battle on the Yangtze River - the "Battle of Red Cliffs", Cao Cao was defeated, and the world was divided into three parts. This cannot but be attributed to Zhuge Liang's amazing wisdom and outstanding language arts.

● Move forward in a roundabout way and attack its weak points

There is a famous saying in the Zhuangzi called "useless use", which means that what is considered useless often ends up being the most useful. The relationship between subordinates and superiors determines that there are some things that are inconvenient for you to talk about directly when persuading your superiors, so it is best not to get to the point at the beginning of the conversation, which is very likely to arouse the disgust of superiors. If you're good at taking a detour, starting with its weaknesses, understanding it, moving it with emotion, and using language arts with precision, then it's much easier to succeed.

During the Warring States Period, after the Battle of Changping, Zhao State received a fatal blow, and the situation took a sharp turn for the worse. Zhao was about to be annexed by the Qin army, so he asked Qi for help. According to the practice at that time, the king of Qi demanded that Chang'anjun be taken hostage, otherwise he would not send troops. Chang'anjun is the youngest brother of King Zhao Xiaocheng, and is most favored by his mother, the Empress Dowager Zhao, and at this time, the state of Zhao, due to the young monarch, the power is actually in the hands of the empress dowager. Empress Dowager Zhao refused Qi Guo's request, no matter how the important ministers advised, she just didn't nod, and said: "If anyone persuades me to send Chang'an Jun as a hostage, I will spit in his face in public!" The situation was extremely tense, and the Queen Mother at this time had been blinded by the instinctive mother-son relationship and could not correctly judge the overall situation. And to break through the current predicament, you have to persuade her to agree to the conditions, but who dares to do this?

At that time, there was an old minister named Touch Dragon, who was good at giving advice and proficient in language arts. He knew that the Queen Mother was angry, and if she had to be cheeky to persuade her to accept the conditions proposed by Qi Guo, maybe she would really spit on her, so he came up with a clever plan. One day, the dragon pretended to be casual and walked slowly into the court. This was not allowed at the time, because the minister had to "tend" when he saw the king, that is, he had to run in small steps. Therefore, he apologized first and said: "I have some small problems with my feet and it is difficult to walk, so I haven't asked you for a long time, but I am worried about the health of the Queen Mother, so I came to see ......" The Queen Mother replied: "I use a car to travel." ”“…… What about the diet? ”…… The two then chatted about some trivial daily topics, and when Empress Dowager Zhao saw that she was not admonishing, her expression softened slightly.

The above language of the dragon can be said to be the "useless use" we mentioned at the beginning, using words that are not related to the subject matter to discourage the other person first, and then find common topics so that the conversation can continue. Think about it, if Touch Long starts with saying "I'm sorry ......" and then quickly gets to the point, how would things evolve? Maybe the Queen Mother will really spit on his face immediately and turn around and go back to the palace, then the old face of the dragon will be lost, and it will not play any role in solving the problem.

Taking advantage of this relaxation of the atmosphere, Touch Long took another detour, alluding to the weakness of the Queen Mother. "I have a young son who is very unsuccessful and I am really worried," he said. I am also old, and I hope to ask the Queen Mother in my lifetime to let him be a guard in the palace and settle his affairs well......" This remark aroused the interest of the Queen Mother, and she said with a smile: "It seems that my father also loves his younger son." And insisted that the mother was more so than the father. Having said that, some signs can be seen. Touching Long deliberately mentioned his love for his young son, but he just wanted to use this to bring out the young son of the Queen Mother, Chang Anjun, as a topic. He succeeded, and agreed with the Queen Mother in this regard, which resonated with the other party, and laid the groundwork for the following.

Then, Touching Long compared Chang'anjun's sister Empress Yan with Chang'an Jun, and intentionally said that Empress Dowager Zhao loved Empress Yan more, because when Empress Yan got married, she was not only reluctant to leave (this is the favor of feelings), but also often worried about her status in the Yan Kingdom, hoping that she would not fall out of favor and that her children and grandchildren would be noble (this is political favor). At this point, we can say with certainty that Empress Dowager Zhao will definitely take into account her attitude towards Chang Anjun and the matter of sending him as a hostage, so she fell into contemplation for a while. Touching the dragon hurriedly struck while the iron was hot, and said: "Throughout the ages, no feudal marquis has been able to last for three generations, and the descendants of the royal family are not all unscrupulous, but they are in a high position without the merit of size, and they have not done their best for the country, so everyone is not convinced, and the final result is to delay themselves." Now you have given Chang'an Jun a lofty status and a fertile fief, but you have not given him the opportunity to make meritorious contributions, in case you are a hundred years later, how can he maintain his position? Because of this, the Queen Mother finally agreed to let Chang'an Jun enter Qi as a hostage, and Zhao Guo was rescued because of this.

Like Empress Dowager Zhao, your boss is certainly not a fool, perhaps a politician, perhaps a figure of considerable power, and the reason why he does not accept your suggestion is most likely to be blinded by a small blind mistake, and what you have to do is to open this dead knot for him. Of course, you can start a series of theories after you get into the main topic, but this is very difficult to succeed because you are facing a boss instead of a subordinate, and if you make a mistake, you will be immediately refuted, or even speechless.

● Perseverance

There is a saying in "Xunzi": "Perseverance, gold and stone can be carved." "In our work, we often find it difficult to convince people, and we can think of the commercials on TV, year after year, day after day, several times a day, repeating the same words so that the children can recite them aloud. This is the allure of persistent persuasion, which in the end makes people irresistible, at least in the mind.

Zhao Pu, the prime minister of the Song Dynasty, who "ruled the world with half of the Analects", is no stranger to everyone. Zhao Pu is indeed a calm, resolute, and persevering person, and he is a famous minister and a generation of fathers who experienced the two dynasties of Taizu and Taizong in the early Song Dynasty. It is said that once he recommended a virtuous person to Taizu as an official, but he was not allowed, and when he went to court the next day, he asked for instructions in person, and was suppressed again. On the third day, Zhao Pu simply handed over the recital, that is, the report for instructions. This three times in a row can attract the emperor's anger, Taizu was furious, and tore the piece on the spot and threw it into the ground. But the prime minister did not change his face, picked up the fragments, put them together and glued them together when he returned home, and presented them again the next day. The emperor finally relented. Facts also proved that Zhao Pu was right, and the recommended person later made great contributions to the country, and the emperor admired Zhao Pu even more because of this.

Later, the emperor asked Zhao Pu: "What are you going to do if I still don't allow it at that time?" He replied, "If there is a traitor, he must be cleared out of the ranks of officials, and if there is a virtuous person, he must be employed. Your Majesty just wanted to test it at that time, how could he abandon his talents and not use them? "The things are done realistically, and the words are answered skillfully, not only showing the attitude, but also touting the emperor by the way, the two sides are happy, isn't it beautiful?

However, it should be noted that in this case you must have a considerable degree of certainty about the correctness of your advice, otherwise the consequences may be a little bad, even if this condition is met, there is a certain limit to "perseverance", if you exceed this limit, regardless of the place, occasion, and timing of chattering, it will make the other party annoying, thinking that you are a "nagging guy".

Therefore, when using perseverance to persuade others, it should also be done in moderation. Only in this way can good results be received.

●Neither humble nor arrogant

When facing their bosses, many people inevitably have scruples, lower their posture or flattery, and exchange their boss's smiling face for compromise. In fact, you don't have to be afraid, you are neither humble nor arrogant in the face of your boss, your words are reasonable, and your boss will have respect and admiration for you.

During the Warring States Period, Chu and Jin clashed, and the Chu State captured the Jin doctor Xun Poppy, and the Jin State captured the Chu prince Gu Chen. After the war, the Jin State proposed to exchange Gu Chen for Xun Poppy, and the king of Chu considered that Xun Pop's father, Xun Shou, was the deputy commander of the Jin army, and wanted to take the opportunity to soften Xun Shou and make it inclined to Chu.

Before Xun Poppy returned to China, the King of Chu personally summoned him. Considering that if Xun Poppy can inherit his father's position and hold a heavy army, if he can win Xun Poppy, he will be able to ensure the peace of Chu and Jin in the future.

The king of Chu asked, "Do you resent me when you became a prisoner?" ”

Xun Poppy replied: "Jin and Chu are fighting, because I have no talent to fight, so I was captured, you can let me go back to China, this is your favor to me, how can I resent you?" ”

The king of Chu then said, "Then are you grateful to me?" ”

Xun Poppy said: "Why should I be grateful to you? The war between the two countries is to relieve the suffering of the people, and this is a dispute between countries, not a personal matter for me, so I have no words of gratitude. ”

Xun Poppy skillfully took advantage of the disputes between countries to avoid personal grievances, and made himself completely equal to the king of Chu, which not only expressed his desire to repay grievances with virtue, but also skillfully ridiculed the stinginess and narrow-mindedness of the king of Chu.

The king of Chu was not reconciled, so he asked again: "How can you repay me after you return to China?" ”

Xun Poppy replied: "There is no grudge between us, so there is no grudge and no virtue, I don't know how to repay it." ”

The king of Chu saw that Xun Poppy was not moved by his own co-optation, so he finally tried to say: "What if you lead the troops to fight in the future?" ”

Xun Poppy replied: "If the monarch and my father can spare me from death after returning to China and let me lead the troops to fight, if I encounter the Chu army, I will not dare to avoid it until I die in battle, and I will never be half-hearted, so as to fulfill the duty of loyal ministers." ”

After hearing this, the king of Chu was helpless against him, but also admired him, so he held a grand ceremony to send Xun Poppy back to China.

Xun Poppy, as a captured minister and a defeated general, faced the temptation of the king of Chu, and his clever words showed the courage of fighting the Chu army. Therefore, when communicating with the boss, you should also be neither humble nor arrogant, and do not blindly slap the boss and completely lose your position.