In a book, Dr. Smanley Blanton writes, "Proper 'self-love' is a sign of health for every normal person. In order to work or achieve a certain goal, it is absolutely necessary to take care of yourself in moderation. ”

That's true. In order to live a healthy and happy life, "liking yourself" is one of the necessary conditions. But this does not require you to be "full of selfish desires" for self-satisfaction. This should mean "self-acceptance" – a real, deep acceptance of oneself as it is, accompanied by a sense of self-esteem and human dignity.

Like yourself is just as important as liking others. Hating everything or everyone only exposes their frustration and deep self-destruction.

A truly mature person will not be divided into high and low levels with others. He may criticize his mistakes or perceive his shortcomings, but he knows that his intentions are correct, and he is willing to continue to overcome his weaknesses and shortcomings instead of complaining.

He has the same tolerance for himself and for others, and does not feel miserable because of some of his own defects.

In this competitive society, we often measure a person's worth by their material achievements. Coupled with the pursuit of fame and boring work, everywhere can make us lose our minds and lose our minds.

There is a couple whose husband is a successful lawyer, ambitious, motivated, and quite authoritarian. The couple's social circle is naturally dominated by the husband's friends, and they are all the same type of people - both measure their value by social fame and material wealth. This lady has a very quiet and humble personality, and such a living environment often makes her feel very small, and it is difficult for her to show her strengths; And her qualities are often overlooked, so she becomes less and less confident in herself and suffers from her inability to live up to the expectations of others. She slowly became disgusted with herself.

In fact, the problem of this lady is not how to adjust herself to the environment, but how to adapt to herself and accept herself. She can't happily accept herself for who she really is, but she fantasizes about being a completely different person. She doesn't understand that "I am born to be useful" and that she can play a role in life. This role must be manifested according to one's own personality, not blindly imitated by others. Knowing this, she will have confidence in herself and actively love life.

The first step for her to reaffirm herself is to stop measuring herself by other people's standards, establish her own value standards, and then use them as a guide for life. She also has to learn how to like herself.

An important sign of people who don't like themselves is excessive self-pickiness. Moderate self-criticism is healthy, beneficial, and extremely necessary for self-development. But if we blame ourselves too much, we will not be able to take positive action.

A female student came running to the teacher after class and complained that her presentation was not as effective as expected.

"When I came to the stage to speak, I immediately realized that I was clumsy and timid,"

"The rest of the class seemed to be calm and confident," she said.

But when I think of my shortcomings, I am so frightened that I can't express what I want to say. ”

She analyzes her weaknesses in great detail.

When she finished, the teacher gave her a word of advice: "Don't always focus on your shortcomings. It's not that your shortcomings make your speech bad, it's that you don't bring out your strengths. ”

Indeed, it is not shortcomings that cause the failure of our speeches, works of art, or personal character. There are many historical and geographical errors in Shakespeare's plays;

Dickens's novels are also quite pretentious. But who cares about these shortcomings? These works shine with immortal brilliance and are not concealed. We love our friends because of their strengths – not their weaknesses.

Focus on our own strengths, cultivate our strengths, and overcome our weaknesses so that we can continue to improve in practice. Of course, we can also change our mistakes at any time, but we don't have to keep them in our hearts all the time, and we can't get rid of them.

When God encounters someone who is physically or mentally afflicted, He does not first inquire about the cause or give excessive comfort. He will not say, "Poor man, you are so unlucky that everything is against you." Tell me, how did you get into trouble? ”

No, God will cut straight to the subject of the matter. He said, "Your sins have been forgiven, go home and sin no more." ”

Feelings of guilt and inferiority, combined with past and present mistakes, often make us ashamed of ourselves. We can't keep that we are. In order to get out of this situation, we have to forget all about the past and start all over again.

No one – including ourselves – can always achieve a 100% success rate.

It's unfair to expect others to be perfect, and it's even more silly and ridiculous to expect oneself to be perfect. Being able to pause once in a while for self-appreciation is a great way to learn to like yourself.

We can find time to be alone each day to see ourselves better. Being alone is also a great way to learn to like yourself. Unless we can get along well with ourselves, it's hard to expect others to enjoy being with us.

In her book A Gift from the Sea, Anne Maro Limber said:

"We can only communicate with others when we are in touch with our own hearts. For me, my heart is like a secluded spring, the beauty of which can only be discovered when I am alone. ”

Being alone allows us to be more objective about ourselves. There is a wise saying in the Bible Psalm: "Be quiet, and you may know who I am." "Being alone is really good for our souls, just as fresh air is good for our bodies.

French Mon Yin said: "The man who is always happy is the best indicator of his cleverness." ”

If we depend on others for happiness and fulfillment, it will undoubtedly increase the burden on others and affect our feelings for each other. Liking, respecting, and appreciating ourselves not only fosters a healthy, happy, and mature personality, but also enhances the ability to communicate with others.