Some people say that being too modest equals pride, and being too positive becomes false seriousness. Modesty and positivity should be moderate, and accept it when it is good, which is the shrewd way to be a person and do things.

Both the objective and subjective worlds maintain a qualitative boundary, that is, degrees. Those who exceed or fail will change the essence of things. The existence of degree requires that no matter what we do, we should have a quantitative analysis and "know in our hearts." ”

Moderation is to ask you to always pay attention to the boundaries of the amount that is in line with yourself in the process of being a person and doing things, never excessive, and never make things develop to the opposite side and hinder your development.

Cao Cao, a great military strategist in the Wei and Jin dynasties, knew the way to stop, "Romance of the Three Kingdoms"

Speaking of which, Cao Cao captured Zhang Lu's lair, Nanzheng, and won a major victory. At this time, the strategists came in one after another and persuaded Cao Cao to take advantage of the victory to march and take Yizhou directly. Sima Yi, the chief bookkeeper, believes that Liu Bei has just destroyed Liu Zhang's power, but the whole Shu has not returned to his heart. Yizhou won and took advantage of the situation to march into the army, and Liu Bei's army was bound to collapse. Such a God-given opportunity cannot be lost.

Strategist Liu Ye also believes that once the fighter plane is missed, Liu Bei will stabilize the people of Shu and guard the pass, I am afraid it will be difficult to eliminate him again.

But Cao Cao did not approve. He believed that the time was not yet ripe to seize Yizhou, and that it should be stopped in moderation and "not moved." Because although Liu Bei has just captured Chengdu. But the army was strong and morale was high. In addition, although the contradictions between the two families of Sun and Liu continue to intensify, once his fist is stretched too long and the rear is empty, then Sun Quan, who is sitting on the mountain and watching the tiger fight, will never stand by and miss the opportunity. It is likely that they will bypass Jingzhou and take Xuchang directly. For this reason, we should not be hot-headed and try to be happy for a while, but should judge the situation and neither be brave for a moment nor ruin the spirit of a moment, and this is exactly what happened in the future. Because of Cao Cao's correct foresight and decision-making, the Wei army did not suffer losses and be deceived.

In stark contrast to Cao Cao was Liu Bei's rashness.

After Eastern Wu planned to kill Guan Yu and seize Jingzhou, Liu Bei was angry and sent troops to launch a battle against Wu. Although the launch of this war was imprudent, at the beginning of the campaign, Liu Bei relied on his superior troops, favorable terrain, and the high morale aroused under the influence of the idea of revenge and hatred, attacked the city and seized the land, and the good news was frequent, and he won a lot of initiative politically and militarily. Under the attack of the murderous Shu army, Wu Fang was forced to sue for peace again, proposing to return Fan Jiang, Zhang Da and Zhang Fei's heads together, return them to Jingzhou, send them back to their wives, rebuild the old good, and destroy Wei together.

It should be said that the conditions of Eastern Wu are already undesirable for Shu. Just imagine, even if the war is won, can it completely eliminate Soochow? If Liu Bei is calm-headed and accepts it when he sees it, he will not only show the anger in his heart to a certain extent, but also take back Jingzhou and rebuild the Wushu Alliance, so that the war can be redeemed to a better ending. However, Liu Bei was carried away by the victory in the first battle, and had no idea about the best outcome of the development of the war, so he blindly insisted on leading the army commander to drive straight into the army in an attempt to eliminate Eastern Wu. As a result, the army attacked Yuting and became the end of the crossbow, not only failed to destroy Wu, but was burned by others and fled.

There are also two characters who are in stark contrast on the issue of advance and retreat, that is, Guan Yu and Zhuge Liang.

During the Three Kingdoms period, the ownership of Jingzhou has always been an issue of endless contention between Wu and Shu.

After the Battle of Chibi, Liu Bei occupied Jingzhou. For Liu Bei, Jingzhou cannot be without, because this is the base for the development of Xichuan, and if Jingzhou is lost, it will lose the conditions for dividing the world into three parts and then unifying China. However, Jingzhou is also the gateway to Eastern Wu, and if you want to unify the south of the Yangtze River and develop yourself, you must also seize Jingzhou. For this reason, after the Battle of Chibi, Sun Quan sent Lu Su to claim Jingzhou.

It stands to reason that the Battle of Chibi was a victory for the alliance of Sun and Liu, and Jingzhou, as the result of the battle taken from Cao Cao, belonged to Liu Bei, which was justifiable. Besides, Liu Bei has been adrift for half his life, and he doesn't even have a place to stand, and there is nothing wrong with occupying Jingzhou, so he can give some justifiable reasons. But Zhuge Liang said nothing to Lu Su, but proposed to temporarily "borrow" Jingzhou.

The word "borrow" embodies Zhuge Liang's spirit of doing things in moderation and just right. At that time, Liu Bei, compared with Cao Cao and Sun Quan, was still very weak, and he had to form an alliance with Sun Quan and reject Cao Cao in order to gain a firm foothold and develop and grow, in order to make a big move. If it is proposed to occupy Jingzhou and intensify the contradictions between Wu and Shu, it will undermine the Wu-Shu alliance, break the established political strategy, and cause the overall passivity. The use of the word "borrowing" avoids this danger, that is, "borrowing" Jingzhou not only ensures Liu Bei's reliable rear base area, but also maintains the alliance between Sun and Liu, but it is not as good as it.

But Guan Yu couldn't understand Zhuge Liang's hard work. Before Zhuge Liang left Jingzhou, he told Guan Yu eight words: "Cao Cao in the north, Sun Quan in the east". But he has never taken "Donghe Sun Quan" to heart. In many diplomatic struggles with the Eastern Wu, with a tiger courage, a good horse and a quick knife, he never put the people of the Eastern Wu including Sun Quan in his eyes, not only publicly proposed that Jingzhou should be obtained by us, but also insulted Sun Quan and others, calling his son a "dog", which made the relationship between Wu and Shu continue to deteriorate, and finally, a sneak attack by the Eastern Wu made Guan Yudi lose people and die, which was extremely miserable. Although Guan Yu's defeat could not all be attributed to his carelessness in handling relations with Eastern Wu, at least his excesses excesses exacerbated the rupture of the Wu-Shu alliance and made Eastern Wu painfully determined to recover Jingzhou by force.

The actions of Cao Cao, Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, and Guan Yu prove from both positive and negative aspects: stopping in moderation and accepting it when it is good is indeed an extremely important mental skill.

Chinese people are relatively modest by nature, and in terms of excessive modesty, Chinese often suffer losses. For example, there is a Russian scholar and a Chinese scholar, both of whom study Dunhuang Studies, both of them have written a book, and the title of the Russian scholar's book is simple and clear, it is called "Dunhuang Studies", while the Chinese scholar is more subtle and does not dare to give such an authoritative title, but according to the habit of the Chinese language, he gave a more modest title "Introduction to Dunhuang Studies", as a result, after seeing these two books, European and American scholars naturally think that the former is a professional work, while the latter may be a popular reading, so they choose the former as a teaching material for students.

How do you do it appropriately? As far as the difference between high and low minds is concerned, in a certain sense, it is not what you can do, but whether you can do what you should do and how you can do what you should do. What you shouldn't do, you do, even if it's very clever, can only prove that your mind is not high, what you shouldn't do, you resolutely don't do, even if you seem to do nothing, you are still mentally superb. Just like humility and positivity, if you are humble when you shouldn't, it can only prove that you are not confident enough; When you shouldn't be positive, you can only prove that you are hypocritical, only in the face of humility and positivity, clearly know that you should take it in moderation, use it in a limited way, and grasp your own behavior, you are wise. Xunzi once said: "If you know what you don't do, then heaven and earth officials and material servants." Lao Tzu also said: "Do nothing but do nothing." "It's all about doing things in moderation. People who want to improve in life and work cannot help but think about this.