The friendship between Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya in history, the encounter between Zhong Ziqi and Boya, and the brotherhood between Marx and Engels in modern times have all been recited as models of friends. But we found that whether it is Chinese or foreign, these friendships are same-sex friendships, not opposite-sex friendships, and we can easily find respectful couples, but brotherly friendships of the opposite sex are difficult to find.

Can a man and a woman be friends? The answer is yes. In addition to love, becoming friends is the best and appropriate way to interact with each other, and it is precisely because of gender differences that opposite-sex friendships are more noticeable. A lot of opposite-sex friendships can develop into love, so it often attracts gossip that makes people stop in the face of longing for opposite-sex friendships.

If the opposite sex can become friends, then both parties will feel very comfortable. Take a look at what two people of different genders have to say about friends of the opposite sex below.

I'm lucky that I have several male friends who are just like my girlfriend – we can put aside gender taboos and talk freely about our most secret thoughts and emotions. What if I say a trivial thought that crosses my mind, such as, "Am I going to cut my hair?" Or, "How do you think I should decorate this house?" "They don't yawn or shy away from my questions.

My male friends always listened to me without judgment or blame when I told them about my fears, my worries, my problems and my inexplicable worries, and I treated them in the same way.

I had a great time talking to my female friend, Jessy. We talk about everything—work, family, my daily worries, my thoughts, my opinions, and so on. She was very good at asking me the right questions to make me think. She never made me feel like I couldn't get off the stage. If I was embarrassed or confused about something, she seemed to know what to say. I tried to help her, sometimes telling her about my experience in the business world, sometimes telling her about what men think and why they do what they do. When I talk to Jesse, I'm often amazed at how many things I didn't realize before.

The key to a good relationship between men and women is to master the distance and proportion, but in reality, things that cannot be controlled "degree" happen from time to time, so it is difficult to establish friendship.

Women and heterophiles should clearly distinguish the boundaries between friendship and love from the ideological and intellectual perspectives, and strictly use reason to control the interaction between the opposite sex within the scope of friendship. When one of the parties has a lover or is already married, both parties should pay more attention to their words and deeds so as not to cause annoyance and pain to others due to negligence.

In daily life, not all women have self-esteem, self-love, and moderate self-control. In front of a man who comes alone, after a long period of solitude, some weak-willed women tend to gradually become tired → uneasy→ accustomed to taking it for granted→ and have a hazy good feeling, until the psychological defense line completely collapses, both parties lose their minds and eventually misbehave.

There was a female researcher in a certain unit, who was embarrassed to refuse to meet a certain superior leader who frequently visited at first, so she had to treat her politely and often chatted until late at night. After a long time, one day, the boss suddenly begged for pleasure and spoke earnestly, and the woman was impulsive and obeyed him. It wasn't until the end that the woman realized that she had fallen for the boss.

Friendship can develop into love, but love cannot be equated with friendship, and men and women often cannot distinguish the boundaries between friendship and love, resulting in an unspeakably embarrassing situation in normal interactions.

Actually, this situation can be avoided because friendship and love are different after all. Friendship is an intimate relationship between people, a selfless exchange of feelings, while love is "a relationship based on people's mutual admiration"; Friendship is above board, innocent, and commonal, while love is exclusive and allows for the existence of selfishness. After understanding this, when you are different, don't think too much about each other, don't think about each other's gestures and eyes very carefully, and it's not a good practice for yourself or him. Since you should be frank and calm, just like with your peers, you should look at each other with the eyes and mood of friends, so that you can have more and better friends of the opposite sex. And if one party mistakes the friendship between each other for love, causing the illusion of the other party, it is easy to have problems.

When making friends with people of the opposite sex, one of the common problems they face is "sex". If both sides cannot break through this level, then friendship cannot be established.

Gender differences are indeed a non-negligible obstacle to the development of friendships between men and women. The biggest headache and saddest thing for women in dating and dating with men is that sex is always present in men's minds. Although few men would agree with this view, a woman's view often makes her reluctant to turn to the friendship of the opposite sex. Many women have said, "I've never really had a relationship with any man, and I think sex is always an issue between men and women." ”

Men often have similar sentiments, often disabling friends of the opposite sex after they get married or have a definite lover.

Ask him why, and he will reply, "I'm worried about causing unnecessary misunderstandings." ”

Once sex intervenes in the friendship between a man and a woman, that peculiar natural giving and receiving becomes a transaction. Because in love or sexual relationships, it is more important to ask for more than in friendship – to rely too much on "how he or she should be" rather than on what will naturally be.

"My name is Mark, I'm a bachelor, and I have many girlfriends who are not in a relationship. Most of these women are already living with or married to other men. I didn't mean to make friends only with married women and not with single women, but I did find that the kind of ease and mutual intimacy that makes up friendship is easier to build with women who love their husbands dearly. In this case, the pressure is relieved. They explicitly ruled out any emotional entanglement with me when they interacted with me, and vice versa. We were all able to relax.

I found that my friendship with a woman was more satisfying to a certain extent than my relationship with a woman,—— because there was no mutual play in the friendship, and both parties were calmer and not swayed by emotions. And, for me, it's much easier to have a platonic relationship with a woman than it is to have a love entanglement. Now that my job is on my mind, I can't afford to pay enough time and energy to keep it going, let alone have a serious relationship. I get enough moral support from my friends and I don't feel the need to fall in love with anyone. When I say friends, I include both men and women, and in fact, I don't see much difference between my boyfriend and my girlfriend. A friend is a friend. ”

Like Mark, a friend is a friend, and friendship between the opposite sex can only be born when the notions of love and sex are abandoned.