In my reluctant gaze, Yaoyao's figure disappeared into the dark doorway again, only this time I could clearly feel that my heart was even more difficult to let go.

In the early summer of that year, Yaoyao and I became the only ones in each other's lives, with no true confession and no vows.

That year, I was nineteen and Yaoyao was twenty. We used each other's youth as a note, and together we composed a music of love between us.

That year, I was still in the workshop, and a group of colleagues who were just the right youth with us were working hard for an urgent order.

That year, Yaoyao taught me to love and be loved with her tenderness, and she used her sincerity, kindness, and courage to escort our love.

That year, on the top of the mountain in Shenzhen, a happy couple often appeared on the coast, the girl was beautiful and gentle, and the boy was rough and heroic.

We study together, take exams together, buy groceries and cook together, and play around together.

We used our footsteps to write our love poems in the streets and alleys of Shenzhen.

We love each other, support each other, encourage each other, and work together.

It was 2006, which I call the first year of Yaoyuan, the second year after I left the campus, the first year of our love, the first year we went to the future, and the first year that I was blessed with happiness.

Limited by people's energy, while I am surrounded by my happiness, I naturally ignore many people and things.

For example, Wu Kai, after I was with Yaoyao, I sent him a message to inform him briefly, and I will no longer describe our affairs in any detail.

Another example is Wu's father and Wu's mother, they still care about me as always, and call from time to time to ask me about my current situation.

I didn't tell them about my love, because my heart was still in a state of being chased and intercepted by teachers and parents when I was in school, so I instinctively chose to hide it.

And they always thought that I was busy with work and study, and they didn't pay attention to the fact that I hadn't visited them for months.

It wasn't until Wu Kai inadvertently revealed that I was in love and had no time to care about him, and my ears were sinned.

Mother Wu called as soon as she learned the news and asked in detail about Yaoyao. Natural people inevitably told me to take my feelings seriously, to treat Yaoyao well, and take Yaoyao to play at home and so on.

For a moment, I really felt that she had treated me like her child, fully playing the role of a mother.

Dad Wu was more straightforward, and didn't leave me any room for negotiation and informed me to go to the house for dinner on the weekend, and he also wanted to talk to me by the way.

I told Yaoyao their words word for word, and naturally told her about their care and care for me over the years.

They treated me like their child, and I didn't treat them like my own family.

After asking Yaoyao's opinion, she generously agreed to go to Wu's house with me, but on the weekend, she was called by her aunt to go shopping with her.

Again, she hadn't dared to tell her family about my existence, so we had to go our separate ways.

In this way, I knocked on the door of Wu Kai's house with a bunch of nutritional supplements and a nervous mood.

It was Wu Kai who opened the door, and this girl didn't have the slightest guilt and self-blame for betraying me. The first time I opened the door, I threw a lewd smile at me, and if it weren't for the inconvenience of twisting something in my hand, I would have beaten him into a pig's head.

Even if it was inconvenient to make a move, I used my eyes to dismantle him, and by the way, I didn't forget to throw him to feed the dog in my heart.

Not to be outdone, he replied to my expression, we didn't make a sound, and we had already fought countless rounds with our eyes. Our side is dead, and Mother Wu's voice has come from inside the room.

"Kaikai, who's coming, why are you blocking the door, why don't you let people in?"

There was a hint of reproach in his tone, but it was full of pampering, and it warmed my heart when I heard it. The warmth of a long-lost home instantly boiled in my heart, and this is probably what it feels like to be at home.

"Mom, your godson is here, he patronizes himself to fall in love, and he doesn't come to see you, I'll help you punish him for meeting at the door."

Wu Kai answered Wu's mother's question, and shook his eyebrows at me defiantly, with a villain posture of a fox and a tiger.

I secretly complained in my heart, this guy is really trying to make me uncomfortable, give me this set at this juncture. Although I knew they wouldn't really care about my neglect, I felt guilty in my own heart.

"You kid, you really don't have a proper shape, hurry up and get out of the way for me, let Xiaoyuan come in."

Before the man reached the door, the voice came first, and the words were full of reproach, but I could clearly hear the sweetness in his tone.

As soon as the words fell, Wu's mother had already appeared behind Wu Kai, reached out and gently patted him on the arm twice. Then he pulled him aside, made way for me, and let me in the door.

"Xiaoyuan is here, why are you alone, your girlfriend? Didn't you say that you would come to the house for dinner together? ”

"Hello Auntie!"

Seeing Mother Wu welcome me in with a smile, I hurriedly said hello and heard her ask about Yaoyao. hurriedly explained: "She was originally going to come over, but her aunt asked her to go shopping with her." She also asked me to apologize to you, saying that she would come with me next time, and of course apologize to you. ”

"You kid, what kind of crime are you with, she will go to her if she has something to do, we welcome you to come at any time."

Mother Wu let me into the house, and said to Wu Kai behind her: "Kaikai, why are you so ignorant, won't you help pick up so many things from Xiaoyuan?" ”

After saying that, I reached over to take the things in my hand, but I quickly declined, and then took the things and put them on the top of the cabinet in the corner.

Then he glanced around the room and didn't see Dad Wu's figure, and he secretly breathed a sigh of relief in his heart. It's not that I'm afraid of him, but I know that I'm wrong, and I feel a little guilty and blamed myself.

In the past few months, I have been patronizing with Yaoyao before the moon, you and I have not only not come to visit them, but also have not even taken the initiative to call them.

The few times they contacted were all on their own initiative, the point is that I kept finding various reasons to avoid them. So when he saw that Father Wu was not at home, he breathed a sigh of relief in his heart, and thought that he would avoid this disaster first.

Wu Kai seemed to see through my thoughts, made a grimace at me, and then said, "Don't worry, our old man went to buy vegetables, and he will come back in a while, you just wait for him to teach you a lesson." ”

My nerves, which had just been relaxed, tensed up decisively, and my heart began to drum, and it seemed that I couldn't hide from it today.

Mother Wu looked at me with a solemn expression, and comforted me: "Xiaoyuan, don't listen to Kaikai's nonsense, your uncle also cares about you, so he is more nagging." ”

I naturally understand what Wu's mother meant, and I naturally have a deep understanding of their family's concern for me.

The reason why I am nervous is not because I am afraid of Father Wu, but because my impression of my fathers is wooden, rigid, and even a little fierce. So I instinctively resist this kind of male elders in my heart, and I always unconsciously resist them.

Hearing what Wu's mother said, I quickly explained: "Auntie, I know that you all care about me and are all for my good. Originally, I was wrong this time, and I didn't come to see you for so long. ”

When Wu's mother heard my explanation, she also hurriedly told me: "Alas, we are all good, you young people are busy falling in love, don't you see what we have to do with it." ”

Seeing that we were polite here, Wu Kai spoke: "Alas, you guys can do it, don't explain." I'm curious now, whose girl would have such a bad eye and fall in love with you? ”

After listening to Wu Kai's words, Wu's mother glared at him again, obviously thinking that Wu Kai was a little rude to comment on Yaoyao like this.

On the contrary, I think what he said has some sense, Yaoyao does have more choices, at least why it is me, I am quite surprised.

Wu Kai's words undoubtedly made the atmosphere a little awkward for a while, and it happened that at this time, Dad Wu pushed the door in. I hurried over to say hello, took the food from his hand, and put it in the kitchen.

By the time I came out of the kitchen, Father Wu probably had already learned from Wu Kai and his mother and son that Yaoyao didn't come with me. There was still a little disappointment on his face, and he said to me again when he saw me come out.

"Didn't you tell me to bring your girlfriend along? Why didn't she come over, just like going back to her own home, is she still shy? ”

Obviously, he probably hasn't figured out what happened, and I'll have to explain it to him again. After listening to my explanation, the expression on his face relaxed a little.

Then he said, "Oh, then it's okay if she has something, I thought she didn't come with you because she was embarrassed." It's okay, you tell her to come with you next time. ”

I hurriedly nodded yes, and Dad Wu turned around and went into the kitchen to cook, and I wanted to go in to help. As a result, Wu's mother, who was one step ahead, was kicked out, saying that it was hard to take a day off and take a rest, let me rest well, and he and Wu's father would cook the meal.

It just so happened that Wu Kai ran over mysteriously at this time, pulled me to his own room, and before I could react, he threw me on his bed.

He looked at me with a tigerish face, and then said viciously: "You kid is not kind, tell me honestly, when will you get better?" ”

I don't plan to hide it from him, after all, if it weren't for him, Yaoyao and I might really become strangers.

So he confessed everything that happened after he met me, and when I heard that Yaoyao took the initiative to hug me, it officially kicked off our love.

This guy's mouth was as open as a goose egg, with an expression of disbelief, and at the same time, he said in a slurp: "I seriously doubt that your evaluation of her is objective and fair." I don't believe that such a good cabbage will make your pig arch, you honestly, is there any apocryphal ingredient in your evaluation? ”

I also rarely explained to him, I turned on my phone directly, and the screensaver was a photo of me and Yaoyao at the beach. After taking the mobile phone I handed over, Wu Kai's mouth opened wider, and the doubts on his face became a little worse.

"No, did you kid do something to other girls, and they had to follow you?" After speaking, he didn't forget to take the photo in his phone and compare it with me, and then nodded with satisfaction.

"You can catch up with the world's top ten unsolved mysteries, this girl looks like a good person, why is this look not good? I think I'm so handsome and chic, and the jade tree is in the wind, why don't any girls take a fancy to me? ”

After saying that, he closed my phone heavily, then threw it to me, took out a cigarette from the bag and threw it to me.

I swear, I do approve of what he said about Yaoyao's bad eyes. He said he was handsome, and I accepted it. But he said that no girl took a fancy to him, and I really wanted to go up and kick him a few times.

Thinking about the past, how many girls fell in love with him, and even did not hesitate to put down their reserve and take the initiative to pursue him. This girl is good, Leng is pretending to be stupid and hurting the hearts of countless girls.

It's going to pretend to be innocent here, and I can only stretch out my friendly middle finger to this kind of person. And said with a mouth shape: "You go shi." ”

And Wu Kai also generously chose to ignore my contempt and silently lit the cigarette. After taking a few deep breaths, he suddenly asked me, "What does it feel like to be in love?" ”

I thought he was squeezing me in the story again, and was looking around for a weapon to strike him with precision, when I found him looking at me with a serious face.

Looking at his rare serious face, I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable, and I didn't know why. Usually the giggling he, as long as he gets serious, he will give me this feeling.

I always felt that under his sunny and handsome appearance, there was a particularly fragile and sensitive soul.

He is always trying to please the world and transmit positive energy to everyone around him. He hid all his unwillingness, grievances, confusion, and pain in his heart, and silently endured and digested it alone.

So when he suddenly got serious, I could always read a lot of mixed emotions in his clear eyes.

For example, at this time, there is some expectation in his eyes, some loss, some helplessness, and more far-reaching and profound.

I didn't know what was going on in his mind, but I tried hard to read his expectations, to soothe his emotions.

But I don't know what I'm supposed to say to him at this time. Because my heart is also buried with countless doubts, puzzles, confusions, and pains.

At the age of eighteen or nineteen, our lives have just begun, and the future is too uncertain for us.

Especially in feelings, we are all infinitely looking forward to a beautiful love, bathing in the sweetness of love with a beloved in our best years.

But in the same way, we also have to face the endless troubles of the future together, and we have to deal with all kinds of difficulties in life together.

In fact, in the days with Yaoyao, I was always nervous. Because her excellence always makes me feel lost, self-blaming and helpless inadvertently.

Two people who love each other always want to give the best to each other, and they always feel that they don't give enough. Especially now, I have almost nothing but a heart that loves her.

Although we are now immersed in the sweetness of love, we don't have more time to think about the future. We simply believe that as long as we love each other, as long as we struggle and work hard together, the future will be very good.

But I always feel powerless, confused, and depressed in the dead of night. For the future, I have a lot of expectations and imaginations, and there are many, many expectations for the future.

But there always seems to be a fog between reality and ideals, so that the brilliance of ideals cannot shine into our lives.

Wu Kai's words instantly ignited this panic in my heart, I silently took two puffs of cigarette, pondered for a long time before faintly replying to him: "Afraid." ”

"What?"

I'm not sure if he didn't hear what I was saying, or if I wasn't sure why I would give him such an answer.

I took two deep puffs of cigarette, and my slightly trembling hand stabilized a little, and then I explained: "I'm afraid, I'm afraid that I can't give her a happy future, I'm afraid that I can't grow into what I expect, I'm afraid that I can't go to the end with her." In short, in addition to happiness, love makes me feel panic and powerless. ”

Now he understood what I said, and after thinking for a long time, he suddenly smiled evilly and said: "I feel much better when you say this, it seems that I am not in love." ”

After speaking, he pressed the cigarette in his hand into the ashtray, and then said: "I understand your feelings, you are like me, you seem to be heartless all day long." But I have a lot of things on my mind, but I just don't want to, or I don't have anyone to talk to. ”

Wu Kai's words went straight to my heart, making my heart tremble unconsciously.

"Yuanzi, have you thought about it, why are we alive?" Before my heart was shaken, this guy threw out another bombshell, which made my already uncalm heart boil instantly.

How can it rise to the point of discussing life when you talk about the feeling of being in love? But his words made me have to think about it seriously.