Chapter 81: Immaturity
The emotional problems between adults should not involve children at all, although Zhen Wenxin is already a big child, but such complicated emotional problems, how can she be a little girl who can be involved? Her Aunt Qiu Han told her a cruel truth, she originally just wanted to comfort Aunt Qiu Han, but now she herself is the one who needs to be comforted the most, a piece of news is like a bombshell, she was already strong on the outside and on the inside, and her heart seemed to be broken.
How many times and how many times, memories draw life into a circle, and she has turned in place countless times, unable to extricate herself. I always want to return to the place where I first met, and if I can choose again, I think I can love more purely. This is a kind of love, but it is not a kind of love, in short, it is very easy to hurt people, and now it hurts Zhen Wenxin.
In fact, there are many things in the world that can be recovered, such as conscience, such as weight. But there are more irretrievable things, such as old dreams, such as years, such as feelings for a person. It is not painful to give up someone who loves you very much, but it is painful to give up someone you love very much. And Zhen Hua is the person she loves very much, and Zhen Wenxin is also the person she loves very much, but the sharp thorns on her body have already hurt the people around her, and the person Zhen Wenxin needs at this time is obviously not such Aunt Qiuhan.
She is a lonely person, because of the lack of family affection, so she can only wander alone in this desert world, in fact, life is destined to be lonely, heartache, heartbreak, no one will see, and everyone is a familiar stranger, I only hope that everyone's heart has more care, more sincerity, more love. It's just that she has already learned to disguise, and Zhen Hua has also put more effort into it, so that over time, even Zhen Wenxin herself almost forgot this scar, and she doesn't feel it at all on weekdays, but as long as someone reveals her bottom, then the resentment she has accumulated over the years will completely explode.
And the most painful thing is what I look forward to, and in the end it is accompanied by a painful ending, I have been waiting for so long, but I still lost this emotional game, why is it always so inexplicably injured. The mother she was looking forward to, the mother she had been looking forward to for seventeen years, was so painful after she really learned the news. Happiness must be accompanied by sadness, and there should be sunny weather after the rain. If it rains after the rain, if there is still sorrow after sorrow, then it doesn't matter who appears.
There are some things that are only suitable for rotting in the heart, suitable for silent forgetting. Many feelings are alienated and indifferent, irretrievable, and only come from a thought; Many thanks are ashamed to be expressed, and burying them deep in the bottom of my heart has become a lifelong regret. So, when she is undecided, she can't help but ask herself, will she regret doing this in the future? Maybe, but at this time, she is unwilling and resentful, of course, more at a loss.
In a room, there are two women who have been hurt, even if they are different, but family and love are the same, after all, it is a human emotion, everyone wants to have, no one wants to lose, but there is a road in life, everyone has so many difficulties and sorrows, the preparatory work before opening is to remove all malice first, say warm words, clean words, say considerate words, and say forgiving words. All the sweetness and sorrow in life always go hand in hand, and pain always chases joy everywhere, and it is not willing to part for a moment.
And life is actually very simple, sourness is a simple thing, a smile defeats a lifetime, and a tear pays off a person. One person blooms, one person falls, from beginning to end these years, no one inquires. Don't lose hope, who knows what tomorrow will bring. After a lot of things happen, every time I think about it, I regret it, I am anxious and depressed, and I grit my teeth, if only I hadn't been like that at that time. So he began to blame himself and be ashamed, until the sourness in his heart eroded his whole body, and then he was powerless.
Everything in life has a shelf life. Those good wishes, if they are only cherished on the table of anticipation, then they can only accumulate dust in the years. When we feel the sourness in our mouths at this moment, we should cherish the happiness of the person in front of us. Zhen Wenxin is an easily contented person, but this does not mean that she can accept that the things she has lost are gone, she can accept the fact that she has no mother since she was a child, and she is willing to accept the return of her mother, but her mother did not come back, but took her father away.
Originally, she didn't belong to her, she never had the luxury, and she didn't even dare to think about it, but she didn't want to lose it that originally belonged to her, so now she can only grit her teeth. It was her mother, who had never taken care of her, and she had never seen that woman, but the so-called mother had already snatched her father from her hands, and she was used to it, a person's grievances, a person's understanding, a person's sourness, and a person's pain. You don't have to talk to people, you don't have to cry when you see people. When she learns to disguise and be reckless, she is no longer afraid to face everything alone, and she no longer expects someone to be by her side.
Maybe every girl will have such a night, secretly hiding in the quilt and crying, those unspeakable grievances, those loneliness that swept the whole body, and those suppressed thoughts in the heart, can only be vented in this way. It's just that she didn't hide in the quilt, but sat next to Wen Zixin, Wen Zixin didn't know which tendon was wrong, and even poured her a glass of red wine, and she didn't hesitate, she couldn't care so much when she was bored, and drank it all.
It may be that I have seen too much happiness, and I feel that I am still a very sad person, I don't know how to save myself, I don't have the courage to run forward, and I am afraid of falling behind and being abandoned, so now I am like a gear in perpetual motion. Escape seems to be only temporary, and there is always an unspeakable sadness in my heart. I don't want to accept myself like I was in the past, and I feel that I am wronged and pitiful, and I hug my scarred self, and they are the so-called sympathy for the same disease.
There will always be times when they are wronged and can't tell them. A hug is enough to fill people with energy. But now I am slowly realizing how difficult it is to get a hug. After all, people are so busy. So the two poor women hugged each other, and the so-called toast to eliminate sorrow was even more sorrowful, and this moment was full of sorrow.
The gains and losses of life are downplayed, the past is let go, the present is cherished, and the future is hoped. If you can't get it, don't ask for it, why should you wronged yourself. Let go of your baggage, forget all your worries, and spend every day happily. In fact, the world is like this, no matter where you go, there are always disappointing things, and once you encounter them, it is easy to be overly pessimistic and take things too seriously. But in fact, settle down, close your eyes, and sleep, maybe something new will happen tomorrow, so as to hide the sadness, it is not impossible.
Love is like this, family affection is the same, the more you experience, the more you don't want to speak, the environment is different, what you want to say may not be understood by others, and you slowly learn to bear it silently. Neither of them can tell the bitterness in their hearts, and perhaps understanding each other can comfort each other, but who among them can have the leisure to do so? No one cares how they cry in the middle of the night, and no one cares how many autumns they have to stay up tossing and turning. Outsiders only see their glamour, and only they support the process alone, so they will not be hypocritical in front of others and go around talking for comfort.
Not all pain can be said, and after a long time, you will get used to it; Not all grievances can be confided, and if you figure it out, you will be relieved. So what they need to do is just raise their glasses again and again, like invisible scars, and often this scar hurts the most when it is revealed, just as the tears that can't be shed are the most aggrieved. It's sad to be sad, it's good to taste it slowly alone, and it's good to be sad and bear it alone.
The ups and downs of life, the torture of life, every time you face it, is a test, life needs a kind of relaxation and clarity, courage to resolve cowardice, diligent change Gou An, indifferently cure boredom, Su Dongpo has a few words of advice to educate life, bamboo canes and shoes are lighter than horses, who is afraid, a cloud of smoke and rain Ren Pingsheng, all those changes in prejudice, are true to spare themselves. Those so-called pains are just mistakes made in order to smooth out what they have lost.
Everyone has an unusually difficult time, and no one cares how to cry in the middle of the night, because no matter how much others empathize, it is only for a moment. No matter how hard and tired it is, no matter how painful it is, no matter how hard it is, you can only survive it alone. Of course, such a time may be short-lived, maybe it comes from their luck, there is someone to escort them in the first half of their lives, so now they are in this difficulty, but it is not completely painful, at least they all know that this time will eventually pass, as for the final result of perfection or forgetfulness, but it is not for them to decide.
The cold wind of the night blows boring thoughts, and those scars are like a drizzle of rain that densely covers every cell of the body, making people miserable, just like their lives. In a lifetime, you will meet many people, from strange to familiar, from acquaintance to forgetting, a simple and helpless process. Just like flowers bloom and fall from time to time, there is no need to ask when spring goes to autumn. I don't ask why, I don't pay attention to who I met, who I fell in love with. People come and go, passing by their lives, and in those times, they didn't expect to encounter this, and they can't imagine that they will experience this one day.
The loss of a love, the return of a family affection, all make people seem at a loss, in the face of the feast set by the years, they smile bitterly at each other, and diligently persuade each other to drink, as if all the unspoken love and reluctance are hidden behind the sentence. Because they have all understood that there is no more mellow and beautiful wine than the cup in their hands, and there is no more bitter love than at this time.
Hiding in the ruins of longing, running naked in the thorns of missing, even if the body and mind are bloodstained, it is crazy to extricate himself. Their time is repeated in countless flashbacks, and the past is as blurry and illusory as ever. Who is so heartless? Or are they too deep into the play? Now that Zhen Hua is at ease in another gentle place, they are still fictionalizing the original plot. Maybe the impression of Zhen Hua will eventually be blurred, and it turns out that remembering it is the best thing to forget. Perhaps only by leaving can things be simpler, people become kind, like children, and they start a new life.