In fact, Zhen Hua has not changed, it's just that time has taught him too much, so he understands what he should do, when to endure, and when to retreat, so he is just compromising, facing Lu Jing, he blindly compromises, as if compromising in the face of Wen Zixin, so sometimes, he can't even tell the person next to him, whether it is Lu Jing or Wen Zixin, but in his dreamland, the people he sees are still Wen Zixin after all, but in many cases, Wen Zi's heart is just his fantasy after all, Lu Jing is reality, but unfortunately he has never cherished what he has gotten, trying to get those false feelings, of course, if he knows the truth of the facts, maybe Zhen Hua will regret it, but he can't complain about others, too many things are because of misunderstandings, but the misunderstandings come from themselves.

It's like Lu Jing looking at the sleeping Zhen Hua, but everything in front of her seems so unreal, and recalling everything before, it is also so false, but what can she do? It's just a strong support, Zhen Hua is already asleep, but the time has just reached noon, she still has a lot of time, she shouldn't be cowering in the room, she should have her own life, instead of surrounding Zhen Hua all around, Zhen Hua shouldn't be the only one in her world, in fact, what she should do now is just to walk out of the room and step out of the door, that's all, as long as she steps out of this door, she will escape from her own confinement, but she can't do it, because of deep love, Therefore, the cage she has set up for herself is even stronger, and it is not easy for her to escape from her confinement.

Zhen Hua won't wake up for a while, she must be free during this time, but she is not free, her current concept is, where Zhen Hua is, she is there, the cage she set for herself is too strong, so it is difficult for her, she should have gone out alone, even if it was just to breathe fresh air, it should be, but she had no intention of going out at all, she just took out a cigarette from her arms, lit it and took a big gulp, but it didn't help. In fact, only by making one's inferior mind confident can the crooked body be straightened; Only by making one's cowardly body strong can the restrained steps be taken forward. Only by broadening one's narrow mind can one's short-sighted vision be far-sighted. But in the end, only by making her ignorant mind smart, can she discard her ignorant illusions, but unfortunately she didn't do it, so she chose the most incompetent method, maybe it won't help, but it's also a way to numb herself.

Man walks in the mundane world, quietly waiting for the moment of adulthood to run at full speed in the slowly passing time. But after a long wait, she found that all kinds of desires and worldly ideas stuck to her body like plasticine, accumulating heavier and heavier, and finally swelled infinitely, binding her legs and slowing her pace. She can't get on the road easily, and she can't run at full speed. They even blinded her eyes, hid her innocence, and made her steps start to be messy, spinning in a world of bright lights. And love, sometimes, is a sinking thing, and the so-called sanity and determination are nothing but ridiculous self-consoling words. In fact, love has always been a bondage, and the pursuit of love is not the same as the pursuit of freedom. Freedom is precious, and people exchange this most precious thing for love. Because if you love someone, you know that you will lose your freedom, but you are willing to make a commitment. Promises are used to fight against all changes. Change is eternal, and only eternal promises can be used to restrain the changes of the world. What is not eternal is not a promise. Promises are expensive if she respects her own personality.

But she never seems to respect her personality, for that humble love, she gave up too much, and over the years, she is not so much in a long wait, but in lingering, like a zombie, just to live for the sake of living, many times she doesn't know what the meaning of her survival is, until Zhen Hua appears in front of her again, and at that moment, she thinks she has found the meaning of survival, but is this really the case? By no means. No one will be anyone's vassal, everyone is an independent individual, no one should live for anyone, let alone give everything to another person, and that person has no appreciation, what she does is more like wishful thinking, such a one-sided infatuation, she gets very little, but what is the use? She's still holding on, has she gotten anything? Perhaps.

She is not like Zhen Hua, she always suffers from gains and losses, because she is afraid of losing, so she does not dare to have it; Because I am afraid of being deceived, I can't believe it; Because he was afraid of being seen through, he kept pretending; I want to be strong, so I have been strong; I don't want to give up, so I keep persevering; I don't want to shed tears, so I keep pretending to laugh; I don't want to be left behind, so I'd rather be alone; I don't want to be bound by the past, so I choose to forget the past; I don't want to say goodbye, so I'd rather not meet. But what Zhen Hua did was just to escape, and she was facing the bleak feelings, at least in this regard, she was much better than Zhen Hua, but unfortunately she was envious of Zhen Hua, maybe because of worship, so she didn't think much about it.

But in fact, it's useless for anyone to say anything about feelings, they all figure it out for themselves. No matter how scummy a person is in the eyes of outsiders, if she loves it, she will definitely think that person is the best. The scum that others said, she was carried away by love, and she couldn't see it at all and didn't want to see it. Perhaps this is the magic of love, not bound by reason, love can be greater than everything. Maybe you can only have a chance to see through when you are hurt. Sartre once said: Man lives in the eyes of others, and he cannot know himself, but can only know himself through the evaluation of others. Man cannot live alone, man must live with others, so man lives his whole life in the evaluation of others. The evaluation of others is a constraint on oneself, some people can break through this constraint, and some people are bound by this evaluation all their lives. It is precisely on the point that the evaluation of others influences me at all times, that Sartre said that "others are hell".

But the heart is gradually cooling, foreseeing some kind of ending, turning around, the heart that has been left to dry for too long is already cold, and it will not be warm no matter how much it is covered. Some people can forget in a blink of an eye, and some people will always be in the depths of their memory, with few friends and only a few confidants, even if they leave, they will never forget. Feel the joys and sorrows of life, move the friends around you to ask for warmth, if you smile at life, life will return a sunshine, break free from the shackles of sadness, filter those melancholy moods, is the freedom you want.

She wished that the whole world would be a smiling face, that the collapsed buildings could be rebuilt, but they were no longer the original materials, that the broken glass could be glued, but that she did not dare to move a place easily. What should be used to repair the heart that has been scratched by tears? Even if some people want to forget, in the end, they still see some things in her mind, think of some people, see some photos and think of the past, and their hearts ache.

So she still sat down and followed Zhen Hua's example, one after another, with endless sorrow in her eyes, and what was she worried about? Maybe it's helpless, even if she knows that the love she got doesn't belong to her, she still doesn't dare to give up, even if she desperately wants to protect it, she has also wavered, but she still sticks to her heart, although this is a sick psychology, but she still loves Zhen Hua It's enough.

But there are many things in the world that can be recovered, such as conscience, such as weight, but there are many more irretrievable things, such as old dreams, such as years, such as feelings for a person. Who made her not know how to refuse, she was always afraid that her words and deeds would make Zhen Hua unhappy, she always tried her best to meet Zhen Hua's every request, but there was no gratitude, only indifference, because in Zhen Hua's eyes, what she did was taken for granted, so she intensified, she didn't know why, in fact, she was too painful because of herself, who made her care too much about Zhen Hua but ignored herself, it was just self-inflicted.

But sometimes, the person who chooses to live a lifetime will always get off halfway. People who are single-minded are actually the most half-hearted. So whether it's love or marriage, it's really not chosen by yourself. Everyone's self-choice is often not very reliable. The lover who can really be with her for life is guarded. It's going on unconsciously. The days are all passed. In fact, she doesn't know what to do, but she is still guarding, maybe guarding, that is, for a lifetime, a lifetime of love does not need those sorrows, does not need those sentimentality, just needs to be quietly guarded.

However, no one is born ruthless, they all experience and see too much they don't want to see, and finally choose to close a certain door of their own, Zhen Hua does not want to be indifferent, he is not an indifferent person, but he can't feel a relationship, because this relationship is not the relationship he wants, maybe the relationship he hopes will never come, but the love that is within reach is definitely not what he wants.

When he is middle-aged, he still doesn't understand that the heartbeat is only a momentary surprise, and firewood, rice, oil and salt are a lifelong way of life. Passing by a person's world, he realized that it was his world. If he is just passing by, he can only wait at the end, but it is not the end of love, but the end of life.

In fact, Lu Jing wanted to say to Zhen Hua more than once: "Let the past pass, those stories have turned the page, I don't care about your affairs, be a good friend of your current friends, don't mention the past, don't talk about the past, you also have your own lover." ”

But she couldn't say such words at all, because she didn't think she had such qualifications, because it was the same heart, some could fit the mountains, some could fit the sea, and some could only hold their own joys and sorrows, but Zhen Hua's heart had no place for her, she knew it from beginning to end, so she never dared to have extravagant hopes, and she never dared to claim to be the main one, is this sad? Perhaps.