Lin Bei saw Su Yu again on the National Day holiday.

Su Yu also worked in the factory where she worked as a summer worker in the town, and the director of the factory saw that she had a good writing handwriting, so he recommended her to be a clerk in the administration department, but she was young and the salary was not as high as that of a regular worker, but she had a formal job. Su Yu said that now she can't think too much, her sisters and younger siblings at home have to take care of her, she is still young, and she can't be too far away from home, her factory is already the largest in the town, and the boss also takes care of her, as long as she works hard, there will always be gains.

Lin Bei was also very happy to see Su Yu like this. also shared her difficult life in high school with Su Yu. "It's the first time I've felt tired from studying, and compared to now, our junior high school life is so easy. I now have two half-past six every day, 6:30 in the morning to the classroom for self-study, 6:30 in the evening to the classroom for self-study, the most important thing is that when I go to the city, I find the gap between us and my classmates in the city. Some of our students finished their first year of high school as early as junior high school. So I'm under a lot of pressure right now. But don't worry, I won't fall! ”

Youth flows in struggle. Lin Bei saw Suyu again during the Spring Festival.

On this day, Su Yu arrived at Lin Bei's house, and as soon as Mrs. Lin saw her at the gate, she cheered in: "Su Yu, when are you coming back, I haven't seen you for so long, you are getting more and more beautiful." It's just that skinny!" As he spoke, he took her hand and smiled, looking left and right. A look of pity, love and joy. 

"Godmother, I haven't seen you these days, are you okay? Is Uncle Lin okay too? He's all right?" 

"Good! Good! What's wrong with your godmother's old bones? You, Uncle Lim, are old, what else can you do like you young people? I'm just waiting for retirement. ”

"Godmother, you're not old at all! You want your children and grandchildren to be your ancestors. ”

"This kid's mouth is sweet!" Mrs. Lin smiled and tapped Su Yu's mouth. "Godmother is really old and useless. As long as you all live happily and happily, I will be satisfied, and even death will be blind. ”

Su Yu's heart was sour, and she turned around and asked, "Is Lin Bei at home?" 

"In! She's still sleeping, this kid, every time she comes back since she went to high school, she's tired like a little sleeping worm. She's still asleep! Go up and wake her up. ”

"Then I'll go up and see her." Su Yu said and ran to Lin Bei's room. She had a very desperate mood to see her. How is she? Su Yu gently pushed the door in. Lin Bei is really still hugging the soft quilt and sleeping soundly! Her short hair was lightly covered on her forehead, and she was still a small round face, red as if she was about to pour water, maybe she was still dreaming, and there was a beautiful and quiet smile on her red lips. Su Yu saw that she was sleeping so sweetly and cutely, she couldn't bear to wake her up, so she sat on the edge of the bed and took a book and waited for her to wake up.

It was almost noon when Lin Bei moved on the bed, and saw a figure in the blur, and her eyes widened in fright. 

"Suyu! What are you doing here? Why are you back?" Lin Bei screamed and jumped up from the bed. Holding Su Yu's neck, he kept shouting, "Su Yu, you want to kill me, what have you done for so long?" Why haven't you trusted me for so long?" 

"You still sue the wicked first! You haven't trusted me in a long time!" 

"Alas, it's all that grinding homework! I'm almost squeezing out my juices. How can you bother to write a letter? Don't say it yet, let me take a good look at you first. Ah, why are you still so thin? However, you have to mature and look better. ”

"You're still the same virtuous character you used to be. However, you've also lost a lot of weight, what's the matter, are you studying hard?" 

"In the past six months, I have been the most painful to read in my life, and it is also the one in which I have been hit the hardest, but it is also the half year when I can see myself the most clearly."

Lin Bei seems to have returned to the day when she went to school to register. That day, Lin Tai'an helped finish the registration and helped her carry her luggage to the dormitory, and then turned around and left. Lin Bei looked at his back, and suddenly had a very strong sense of attachment, she suddenly became confused and overwhelmed, crying behind his back: "Dad-" But her father, who usually takes good care of her, suddenly seemed to have changed, and said to her in a strange cold tone: "Beibei, you have grown up, you should learn to be independent." You can no longer rely on others for everything like you did at home. There are many things that you should do on your own. Also, everyone is equal here, and everyone is a treasure in the eyes of their parents. You can no longer be as willful as you were at home, you must learn to be humble and tolerant, and you must not be selfish and arrogant. We can't keep thinking about the glory and glory of the past, here, everything has to start from scratch, and the past, no matter how brilliant it is, has become a thing of the past. Lin Tai'an told her this, and left without looking back. Lin Bei was stunned for a moment, unable to understand how her father, who had always loved her, could suddenly be so ruthless and cold to herself. Lin Bei looked at the bare iron frame bed in confusion, not knowing how to start fiddling with it. I wonder when she did this when she was not pampered at home, when did she do this? The parents of the classmates in the dormitory were enthusiastically making beds and quilts for them, while her new classmates were just directing where to put this and where to hang it. She was the only one, alone, pitifully overwhelmed and stunned. And when she was at home, her parents took such good care of her! She refused to shed tears in front of her classmates, and after a while she gritted her teeth and clumsily began to do the work that she never knew how to do. One of her classmates noticed her clumsiness and reminded her, "Find a cloth and wipe the bed board first." So she went out and fetched a basin of water as she had been told. The bed board is ready, but how should the mosquito net be hung? She also has no idea at all. As a result, a classmate's mother helped her hang up. That night, Lin Bei hid alone in an unfamiliar bed and cried. But it was only the first day of her new life, and it was the last day to be sad. Later, she gradually realized her father's hard work. What sadds her the most is her schoolwork. Since she was not comfortable with boarding life at school, she always wanted to go home all day long. Holding the rice cooked in the canteen, she misses the delicious meals made by her mother; Sitting in the classroom and studying at night, she missed the scene when she and Su Yu sat in a comfortable room to study; Sleeping on that hard bed, she missed the large, soft bed at home...... In short, she just couldn't adapt to the boarding environment there, so she hid under the covers and cried almost every night for the first week of school. The inadaptability to the environment, coupled with the curriculum content and learning thinking methods of high school, are very different from junior high schools and primary schools, although Lin Bei is in the top one or two grades in Longle Middle School, but compared with the city and county classmates, there is still a certain gap.

"I will always remember the situation of that midterm exam, when the results came out, Su Yu, guess how many places I won?" 

Su Yu thought that Lin Bei had never been in the third place in the grade before, and only when she happened to have a high fever in an exam, she won the fourth place, but she had been unhappy about it for several days. Su Yu guessed that although she wouldn't be so brilliant this time, at least it shouldn't be bad, right? So he said, "I don't think there will be ten in the class, right?" 

Lin Bei smiled bitterly, "I thought so at the time, but the result came out, far more than this number, a number I would never have dreamed of!" It's the thirty-ninth in the class! Suyu, would you think of it? Do you think about how I felt at the time? 

"Thirty-ninth!?" Su Yu's eyes widened when she heard this. God, without Lin Bei saying it, she will also know what Lin Bei's mood will be. She has always been so smooth, so strong, how can she stand it? 

"Yes, I was stunned when I saw that number. Like a thunderbolt from the sky, I was left with an empty shell that could not think or mourn. You're right, I used to be too smooth, too high, too arrogant, how could I ever try such frustration? That night, I hid in a no-man's corner and cried. However, I don't know why, since then I have always been discouraged, I have an inexplicable sense of weakness and fear when I see books, in the past, I did the questions very quickly, and every time I took the exam, I always finished it quickly. But since then, I have always been afraid of making mistakes, and I dare to write every question after calculating and thinking clearly, and I still have to check it again and again, and the result is always not enough time every time, and the results of the test are getting worse and worse each time, and my confidence and will are also reduced again and again. During that time, I was so discouraged that it seemed that everything around me had lost hope. Everything around me was gray and lackluster. Do you remember that at that time, our compositions were always read as model texts? I don't know why, maybe it's because you're gone, and my inspiration is gone with you, in short, every time I write an essay, I can't find the slightest inspiration, my head is empty, and I don't have the boldness of the previous wave. My literary cells seem to be dead. Because I hit walls everywhere and because I was blocked everywhere, my interpersonal relationships were not good. I always thought that people were talking about me, despised me, and made fun of me, so I became suspicious and sensitive, and gradually, some of my classmates who were better with me slowly distanced themselves from me. At this time, I was hit harder, I had no hope, no friends, no light and no way forward, I was like a person exploring in the dark. Fortunately, Meng Haolun was here, and fortunately he comforted me, otherwise, I really don't know what to do. Suyu, he's really a good guy! My grades were declining day by day, and I was getting less and less concerned about class, and I remember that before that, I had always been a good student in the eyes of my teachers, and I had always been the darling of my teachers' eyes. However, even though I was the second best in my class when I entered the school, neither the homeroom teacher nor the classroom teacher paid much attention to me. Later, I became even more indifferent, which made my heart even more frustrated and hurt, and I couldn't even look at the teacher well. Suyu, you must have thought that I was going to be finished, did you?" 

Su Yu looked at her with a sympathetic gaze, "Lin Bei, I'm really sorry for not giving you the strength to support you when you fell. ”

"Suyu, don't say that, I know it's not easy for you outside, so I haven't written to tell you about my situation, why bring my depression, my frustration, my despair to my friends? Su Yu, I really miss the time I went through with you, and it may be because the relationship between you and me is too good, and the impression you give me is too good, so I don't have a close friend in No. 1 Middle School. There, my only friend was Meng Haolun, and I often went to the next class to look for him, and he often came to me and encouraged me. And what really cheered me up was in the general election of class cadres. At that time, most of the class leaders were determined by the class teacher according to their grades and their position in junior high school, so for the sake of democracy, I was democratically elected by my classmates three months after the start of school, and I was a member of the class study committee at that time. I think I'm going to lose this election, and I was elected to the study committee with a whopping 57 votes. I was both amazed and touched by this result. Do you know? There was only one person in my class who didn't vote for me, and that person was myself. I stood up and resigned to the teacher and classmates, but the class teacher said that this was the support and trust of the classmates, and you must take advantage of it, and added his vote to the blackboard. Su Yu, when the applause in the class rang out, I was really moved! I have suffered so many setbacks, I have endured so much mental and psychological pressure, I have never cried in front of my classmates, but at that moment, I was really moved to cry, and I really cried in the applause. I suddenly realized that I had always been despised by myself, I had always had low self-esteem, and my classmates and teachers had no idea of looking down on me at all. How narrow-minded and suspicious I am to think of myself! Since then, I have finally raised my head slowly, and I no longer deliberately avoid those subject teachers, no longer deliberately avoid books, and no longer look at teachers and classmates with a hostile eye. Su Yu, when a person's eyes are blinded with color to look at people, what they see is so unreal, how limited and even deformed! When I looked at everything around me with a friendly eye, I found that my classmates had always been very concerned and friendly to me, but I was blinded by willfulness and low self-esteem before. And the teachers, not only the class teachers but also the teachers of other subjects, are also very caring and responsible. In the past, physics was my forte, but after I went to high school, I gradually couldn't keep up, especially during that period of depression, which was a mess. Later, I was finally willing to ask the teacher, it was a male teacher who had just come out of college for a year, I used to think that he was fake and high, and he was not good at lecturing, and among all the teachers, I almost looked down on him the most. Unexpectedly, he saw me ask him questions, and explained to me very happily and patiently, and later he saw that I asked more often, and would take the initiative to come to me and talk to me about some of my experiences in physics. Slowly, my self-confidence was rebuilt, my personality gradually became cheerful, and I gradually talked and laughed with everyone as before. And my grades are gradually improving. Of course, this has to do with the rebuilding of my confidence, but more importantly, I began to think calmly about the reasons for my failures, and gradually explored a more effective way to study. At this time, I am also more hardworking, I like to sleep the most, but at this time, I am always the first to get up in the dormitory every day, and I am almost the first to go to the classroom to read, and I am almost the last to go out of the classroom when I study at night. Su Yu, I didn't believe in the saying that you will gain a point of hard work and harvest before, just because everything I used to get was too easy, Su Yu, sometimes people's roads are too smooth, it is really not a good thing, you will really lose many opportunities to experience life and maturity! In the final exam, my sweat was not in vain, and my grades ranked eleventh in the class. Suyu, this is a number that I would have nightmares when I thought about it in junior high school, but today, I am really happy, because from thirty-nine to eleven, how many twists and turns have been taken, how many difficult and muddy roads have been walked, how much sweat I have shed, and how much love has been condensed by the teachers!" 

"Lin Bei, you have really grown up, and you are no longer the willful and pampered Lin Bei. I'm so happy for you. Su Yu clasped Lin Bei's hand and said. 

"I think I'm a little more mature than I used to be. At least I now understand how hard my father was to me that day. I used to be really too dependent in life, although on the surface I seemed to be very independent of everything, but in fact I was dependent on others for everything, and because it was always too smooth, I was too empty-eyed and self-righteous. I don't understand the importance of being down-to-earth. Suyu, although my grades were very good before, in fact, because of my impetuousness, my foundation is not so solid, so after I arrived in high school, I fell on my back without working hard. Su Yu, looking back, I am very grateful for my failure, if it were not for it, I would not have known the importance of self-confidence, nor would I have known the preciousness of cherishing everything in my hands, nor the preciousness of the warmth of the world, you know? When our Chinese teacher read my essay as a model essay for the first time, I was so happy that I almost cried. This is not only for my progress, but also for the sake of regaining that old honor. I remember when I was in junior high school, because every time my essay was read, it had become a habit, and I didn't realize that this was an affirmation of achievement and the preciousness of this honor. I remember that during the summer vacation, because of your car accident, I saw through my indifference to human feelings, which is actually one of the reasons why I cast a hostile and hostile eye on everyone when I was frustrated, but now, I finally found out that there are indeed indifferent and ignorant people in the world, but there are also warm and enlightened kind-hearted people. Suyu, too warm and comfortable growth environment is easy to make people only see a small piece of sky the size of a palm, but not see that there are not only the sun, moon, stars, but also blue sky, white clouds, and even dark clouds in the vast sky...... 

"Hey, our eldest lady, haven't you gotten up yet? The food is almost cold. Mrs. Lin knocked on the door outside and shouted. 

"Mom, I'm up early and I'm chatting with Su Yu!" 

Mrs. Lin pushed the door in and said with a smile, "You two have been talking for two hours, haven't you finished speaking?" Let's talk about it after eating. ”

After eating, Su Yu and Lin Bei went to the yard to bask in the sun and chatted again. 

"Suyu, you haven't told me about your situation yet!" 

"Me? I lived half a year without incident. Su Yu said calmly. But my sister died. ”

Lin Bei was startled and exclaimed, "Why?" 

"He who was raped and killed." Su Yu still looked calm. She sometimes really felt that it was a good thing for her that Sokin was dead, at least she wouldn't be so unconsciously victimized again. Since it is good for her, there is nowhere to mourn for her. 

"Rape and murder? Do those people still have humanity?" Lin Bei was both angry and stunned. 

"Yes, it's not the first time I've been raped, it's just that this time I don't know why it's happening." Su Yu tried her best to suppress the grief and anger in her heart. Su Yu still remembers the night Su Jin was carried home, and the house was silent, with neither weeping nor the sound of words. Sokim's coffin was parked in the small courtyard in front of her home. Tang Baozhu and Pan Shixiong knelt beside the coffin with Suman Sutang. There was no expression on his face, and not a single tear. Early the next morning, the whole family of five followed behind the coffin bearer and silently sent Su Jin. Still not a single tear was raised. When the coffin was placed in the grave and the dirt buried the brown coffin piece by piece, Su Yu's heart shook suddenly, and she realized that the coffin that was going to be buried under the soil forever contained her own sister who had lived with her for almost eighteen years! Her tears finally fell. From now on, this coffin, this handful of soil, will forever separate them in the two worlds of yin and yang. However, the rest of the family still didn't cry, Tang Baozhu had been frowning sadly, and he hadn't said a word since Su Jin was carried back until now. The top of Su Jin's coffin was soon completely submerged in dirt. Soon a small round bag of mud was raised. The funeral ended quickly, quietly, without a trace of it, except for the addition of a new grave between the graves. It doesn't bring any emotion with it. Just as she was alive. She came almost unconsciously, and ended her unconscious life in the hands of others, and her life was a life without sorrow, pain, and sorrow. Death and birth are the same for her, and those who are still working around in the world, fearing death, sorrow, and suffering, who have the right to grieve and grieve for the end of such a happy life? After returning from the funeral, it was not as if there was nothing missing in the house, and she was not a person who was noticed. If it disappears, it disappears, and it doesn't affect anyone. Those who raped her and choked her throat to suffocation have long since fled without a trace, and people will not pursue and search for someone who raped to death an unconscious person, and so leave no trace, between the vast sea of people, where to find it? And in such a remote and poor country, it is for such a person, so in the end it is only for those parties to be condemned by their conscience, if they still have a conscience. 

"Did you catch the bad guys?"

Su Yu shook her head silently.

Lin Bei was speechless for a while. "Suyu, what are your plans for the future?"

"After the Chinese New Year, I want to sign up for a computer class. I hope to make more money as soon as possible so that my younger siblings can study with peace of mind. The sudden death of my sister made me feel even more about the preciousness of life and the importance of the environment. If we had a better family environment, she might not have died. ”

"Suyu, sometimes I feel that God is really unfair to you. So small, you have to carry so many things!" 

"There's nothing unfair about it, as you said, it's because of the loss that you feel the value of what you have. Perhaps, this is God's intentional tempering for me, paving the way for future success and happiness? Don't talk about me, how is Meng Haolun?" 

"Meng Haolun? He was very good, and he suffered a little setback like me in high school, and although he was not as miserable as me in the midterm exam, he only finished fifteenth in his class. But now I found out that he is really a very stubborn and strong person, after he knew the results, he was not discouraged at all, just studied hard, and often encouraged me, asking me to compete with him again. He finished fifth in his class in the final exam. But I have challenged him to continue to fight with him. Lin Bei said with confidence on her face. After a pause, "Su Yu, God is really kind to me, let me know you and Meng Haolun." You don't know how much I can learn from you, such as perseverance, hard work, love of life, not succumbing to fate, and so on!" 

"I'm not lucky!" Seeing Lin Bei again this time made her more determined to study for self-improvement. No matter what kind of setbacks you encounter, no matter how bad the environment is, you can't give up reading and studying! After thinking about it, he asked softly, "Do you have any news of Teacher Gao?" 

"Teacher Gao? No. I only once heard from a classmate that he went to teach in a middle school in Xiamen because his wife was from Xiamen. ”

Su Yu was silent, she didn't know when she would be able to repay Teacher Gao's kindness.

Su Yu didn't go home until almost dark that day. When I arrived at the door, I heard Pan Shixiong yelling loudly: "You harmful little rabbits, get out of here!" Roll away. None of you are filial piety, you will only cause me to lose money and lose ...... Money-wow-wow......" he scolded as he threw up in the room. He said vaguely: "A hundred ......", "Get out-" Pan Shixiong returned to normal again. Su Yu shook her head and walked into the house helplessly. There was a foul sour smell of wine in her face, and Su Yu saw that a lot of dirt had been vomited on the black and slimy floor, and her stomach churned, and she almost didn't vomit. Seeing Pan Shixiong's blue and white face, his heart softened, so he poured him a cup of tea, and helped him to lie down in bed with a frown. Then, he quickly ran to a magnolia tree outside the house and vomited heavily......"