——— carried the thermos bucket and couldn't stop crying as he walked.

The woman at the closure point of the community,

When I entered the community just now, I was asked with concern, "Here you go again?" What happened to your father? ”

As he stepped out of the neighborhood, he nodded to me and turned his head sideways to watch my expression change.

Because of the concerned gaze of this strange woman whom I had never met, my heart was warmed for a moment.

With a sniff, I waved goodbye to her.

I would rather express my grief in front of people I don't know than contact friends and relatives to inform me of my father's illness.

When a relative finds out, the result will be a visit from a large number of relatives.

The gifts were mostly milk, fruits, and ridiculous naobai gold。。。。。

It also takes energy to respond to their inquiries about their condition.

———— reversing into the car lane in the woods.

Warning yourself in your heart: driving is more harmful than drunk driving.

Well, go your own way, see the way you go.

But I really envy the pedestrians who stroll out with all kinds of dishes, they should think: "just" how to make this dish, buy the dishes according to their preferences, and then they can taste the dishes made according to their preferences.

Their "just" is the opposite of my "just".

They "just" enjoyed, and I "just" suffered the "torture" of the heart.

"Enjoyment" has been gradually deprived from the moment I met the experts at the grove café that day.

The "torture" in my heart gradually worsened, and the more I struggled, the more urgent it became...

I was restless all the way and forced myself to drive carefully.

What is stuck in my heart: it is the tearful eyes of Guasha when she is sad and troubled, it is the pityful eyes of my father for my daughter, and it is the gesture of raising his hand to try to wipe his tears.

When the car stopped on the side of the driveway next to the street, he couldn't bear the sadness in his heart: "Dad, why do you have this disease!" ”

"Dad, how can I help you, you tell me."

"What should I do?".

At this time, I was woken up by the horn of the car behind me.

Pull out a tissue from the side door to dry your glasses, step on the gas pedal and walk home.

———— get home and check your phone's information.

The classmate sent: "It's okay to pierce at your side, and tell me when you have a good time."

I'm already at home, and I can't understand it on the phone, so I'll explain it to my dad in person tomorrow.

My husband brought a basin with a black bottom and asked me what was going on. I, who has always liked to tease, lazily replied: "Well, it was broken by aijiu last time", and immediately lay on the sofa and stared at the ceiling.

In the evening, I called and asked my mother how she was doing, and my mother: "Today's porridge is sour, how can your father say that he can gang sour."

Your dad and I each drank a bowl and added some rice, and we ate quite comfortably, and your dad was quite good.

Ah Jun, don't worry."

"Oh, Ah Jun, Xiao Chunchun called just now and said that he didn't invite guests, and now YQ is strictly managed, so he can't be invited."

It seems that it is useless to be polite and say good things, and adding two words that make her responsible will work.

It's pretty good, just think she and her parents still miss a little family affection.

A matter of heart was put down.

Later, he emphasized with Yu Chunchun through phone and text messages: Please do not visit during the YQ, and do not talk to relatives and friends about your father's illness, so as not to cause cross-infection due to visits.

———— woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare.

Now instead of just sitting up, he screams in the room, as if looking for something. My husband got out of bed and patted me on the shoulder, "Okay, let's sleep"

When I woke up in the morning, my husband asked me what I was dreaming about, and I yelled like this.

I said I couldn't remember the specific dream, "Ah, I got up at night?" ”

I can't even remember getting out of bed at night.

"Son, come here, did your mother call there at night?" The husband called his son to testify.

"Yes, you're screaming loudly," the son said with a grin.

"Really? I'm so bad in my head" I smiled, pretending to be relaxed, and pointed to my head.

In front of my son, I always pretended to be calm and pretended to be fine.

You can't spread the word to everyone.

Ordinary families also need to live a normal life and study normally.

At about 3 o'clock every day, ———— carrying a large thermos bucket of porridge, passing through the YQ management station, getting off, measuring the temperature, and releasing it.

———— dad had gotten up, sniffing and walking up and down the living room in his baggy plaid padded jacket and cotton pants.

I sat on a couch in the back, thinking about how to fully explain the logic of the puncture dispensing and getting my dad to accept the plan, and what tone to use that my dad could agree to.

"Dad, can I tell you something?"

I sat on the couch and looked up, walking back and forth with my father, who is 1.8 meters tall.

"What," Dad asked.

I heard that there was a medicine that could be used, so I asked my classmates, "I opened my mouth with a weak heart."

In front of my father, I always looked like a schoolboy who made a mistake, and my middle qi disappeared.

"Don't fool around, where did you get the medicine now? Don't be fooled!

That Mr. Lin, you know,

The last time I went to see him, he was still crying.

The doctor told him that he had two cancers on his body, and he couldn't operate on it yet, and he had used 3-400,000 yuan, and now his body is getting weaker and weaker, and he can't have surgery."

——————————————— Ms. Lin, a teacher at another school. I've known him before, and because he lives close, my father and he often come and go.

Mom and Dad like to boil corn, and when they cook it, they bring a pot to Mr. Lin's house.

We brought fruit, and my parents would share some of it.

Mr. Lin and his wife are both teachers, and their retirement salary adds up to more than 20,000 yuan per month.

After Mr. Lin retired, he learned to cook, and Mr. Zou (Mrs. Lin) was responsible for buying and washing vegetables. Every day, a table of dishes, calling my son, daughter-in-law and grandson over, and the family talked and laughed when they ate.

My parents go to Mr. Lin's house every day to "report".

"Old Xiao, I'm quite satisfied now.

Me and Lao Zou,

plus his son and daughter-in-law, the family adds up to 4-50,000 yuan every month, which is really comfortable" Mr. Lin is relieved every time he mentions it.

————, "Well, in my family, the old woman bought urban insurance and medical insurance, and now, it is 2-3000 per month, and my salary is about the same as yours."

A family of two kids is ok too"

My father lived a very poor life for many years when he was a child, and he felt very happy about the current situation.

I agree with Mr. Lin's gratification and satisfaction.

Dad and Mr. Lin don't look down on the MLM outside, and think that they are quite happy to keep their salaries. As you get older, it's important to take care of your body.

Before the Chinese New Year (2019), I don't know who sent a few desk calendars, and my father took 2 books and gave them to Mr. Lin excitedly.

As soon as I entered the door, Mrs. Lin (Mr. Zou) whispered to my father: "Lao Lin can't do it this time, he found out that he has cancer" and "Lao Xiao, you comfort and comfort him".

"Ahh Knocking softly on the door and entering the room, Mr. Lin was lying on the bed.

Seeing my dad come in, Mr. Lin quickly sat up.

sighed lightly, and shed tears before speaking

"Lao Xiao, I can't survive this time, two cancers 。。。。。" Mr. Lin pointed to his own body and took his son to Shanghai to find specialists, find medicine, chemotherapy first, chemotherapy anemia, and blood supplementation. I told my dad about the detailed process.

My dad sighed and comforted me, "Now that medical care is developed, it's no problem, don't think too much."

said that he said, when he got home, his father was in a bad mood and sighed for his old friend, Mr. Lin, for two days.

Unexpectedly, after two months, my dad found out that it was more serious.

————My dad asked me to learn from Mr. Lin's lesson, blind medication is useless.

"Also, do you know that the puncture needle is really long?" Dad stopped exercising, sat down in the old position on the sofa at the door, and began to teach me a lesson.

"That needle goes in, and my body can eat it."

"What do you think about me?"

"Ahh

Mr. Xiao asked me a series of questions, and I was accused of a series of cannons. His face was full of anger.

I saw Mr. Xiao stop and see the stitches: "Dad, you don't need to spend money, I found an acquaintance." I decided to coax him first.

"Who are you fooling? I'm a teacher, I don't know it's a scam? Do you want to be fooled? I saw Mr. Xiao's anger flying straight into the sky.

"Don't mention it again! You are not allowed to do this," Mr. Xiao was ready to burst through the clouds.

I was scared. Cocking his lips and not speaking, he is full of anger!

Alas, forget it, reluctantly coax it: "Okay, I know, I'll return it for you."

I stood next to Mr. Xiao and patted him on the back to comfort him. It's like I'm mad at him. Anger + resentment swallowed into my own stomach.

I'm afraid that Mr. Xiao will be angry with himself, and his emotions will cause him to be blocked, and then it will be my daughter's business, and the gains outweigh the losses.

"Okay, okay, don't get it, satisfied?" I watched the words and looked at the time, and saw when Mr. Xiao could spare me.

"Think about it, how much Teacher Cai has been deceived!" Teacher Xiao is unrelenting.

The old lady in a house in the east is the teacher, who usually saves money and eats, and according to what my mother said, it is broken in half.

If you are coaxed to a meeting, you can get free eggs and free crucian carp.

One day I came back and told others that the interest on the money I had saved was several times higher than that of the bank, and I came to persuade my parents to deposit it too, saying that the interest would not be used up every month.

After a month, I found that I couldn't contact the boss of the company, so I invested 300,000 yuan and took 30,000 yuan in interest.

The teacher was so angry that he got sick and took Chinese medicine.

——— this is true, but the situation is different, one is to see a doctor, and the other is unreliable financial management, can it be the same!

I can't convince him of Dad's temper.

"Dad, so be it, I brought mugwort leaves, I'll cook it and wash your feet for you, dredge it, maybe your stomach will be less distended."

"Don't mention that word to me", my father gave me a blank look.

"What's the word?" I asked.

"Isn't AI the same thing?" Mom added next to me.

"You don't want to be in front of your dad now, you will get angry when you mention it." Mom pulled me aside and whispered to me.

I was so angry that I laughed and cried.

"Dad, you're a teacher, uh, why are you so superstitious"

"Don't mention it anyway, you don't want to listen", the father almost rolled on the ground like a toddler, not listening, not listening.

Immature!

"Old man, Ah Jun brought it, just try it, I'll cook it and wash your feet" Mom picked up mugwort leaves and went to the kitchen, and I followed up to assist this half-blind old lady in boiling mugwort leaf water.

The foot basin is of ordinary size, and mugwort leaf water is poured into it, and my father's big feet are not submerged by mugwort leaf water.

I wanted to add some more water, but I was afraid that my father would be petty, alas, it's just that.

Mom rubs my father's feet in the footbasin, massages, mops and massages.

"Old woman, this is quite comfortable after washing" The grumpy dad showed his smile for the first time today.

It's also rare to be able to spend half a day with your parents arguing, talking and laughing, and this kind of ordinary daily life can only be obtained after my father is sick.

In normal times, I don't have a day to spare for work and family.

Alas, to live is to complete tasks, one task after another is waiting for you.

The front "peace of mind" has seen the flowers bloom and fall in front of the court; Look at the clouds in the sky. Now the road ahead is paved with thorns, and I am forced to move forward.

Not optimistic.

When encountering tricky things, how can you deal with them calmly, how can you "rest assured" to appreciate the flowers and plants in the yard, and how can you watch the clouds roll up.

"Peace of mind" is to have no distractions,

It is the "peace of mind" that when you see a small flower and a small grass, you can stop and study it deeply, and feel the charm of small flowers and grass.

It is a "peace of mind" that can be eaten with a coarse tea and light rice.

It is to stay at home and not go far away, and you can feel the "peace of mind" that is happier than if you went to see the sea and climbed the mountain.

"Peace of mind" no longer belongs to me,

"Peace of mind" is gone. At least for this time.

All that belongs to me is the screams of nightmares in the middle of the night after panic.