The days went by day by day. Seeing Yu Tian and Wei Yin living a good life, I also thought that I was really about to come to the point where I should have my own life trajectory. I didn't expect fate to play a joke on me again. I thought that life would not intersect. Before you know it, you start to get closer again. Sometimes something may be late, but if it is fate, it will come.

Qiu Qingye's financing was very successful, and he asked me to have dinner after he was busy, and at the dinner table, he said that he was going to take advantage of the Dragon Boat Festival to pick up his parents from abroad to attend his brother's wedding. He asked me if I wanted to travel abroad with him and meet his parents officially

I held the glass of red wine and shook it on the table for a long time. There was no sound.

"It's okay," he smiled. Watching him smile, I felt more guilty in my heart. He's always like this, he faces me in everything, he doesn't say a word about what I'm not, and he doesn't even have emotional ups and downs. Always smile at me and say it's okay. But some words. I still have to say it. Whatever way it is.

"Kiyono. We have known each other for such a long time, from Chongqing to Shanghai, I really feel very grateful to you for your help to me during this time, and I also feel very lucky to meet such a good person, you are very good, and you are also very handsome. There are all sorts of advantages in the body. It's been especially nice to me. But I thought about it, I can't drag you like this. Because I really don't know when I'll really come out of Xiao Zhuang, although you may see that I am getting closer to Xiao Chuan now, but it doesn't mean that I have really let go of him completely, I just let me try to take this step myself, so that I have the courage to face him. I'm working well in Shanghai, and I don't plan to go back to Chongqing for the time being. But I always feel very sorry for you for this way of getting along. ”

I looked up at him. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something unfinished

"Or, I think, you... You... ”

"Can I stop waiting and live my own life"

He interrupted me. After listening to him, look at the way he looked at me. I lowered my head, I really couldn't handle the situation.

"Why can't you say that," he said, with no particularly obvious emotion in his tone. There was no joy and no sorrow.

But I was suddenly asked by Qiu Qingye's words, and my head was full of circles. I stared at him with wide eyes, and I waited for him to say something he hadn't finished yet. Why can't you say this? I really haven't been able to answer this question at all. I haven't thought about it.,The reason I can't say is that I still want to wait for Xiao Xiao but I'm afraid of being hurt and hope to have someone to comfort me.,Or really want to do a serious career at this age.。 I am still reluctant to have such a good spare tire in Qiu Qingye. I never thought about that.

"When you can say that, let's talk about it. I haven't seen you for a long time, don't talk about such a topic to ruin today's good mood, so since there is a result, let's go, I have to take a plane for so long tomorrow" Qiu Qingye got up and went to pay. Looking at Qiu Qingye's back, I took the glass of red wine that shook my head and drank a glass of wine. scolded at the blurred figure in the glass, "Cowardice, bad, shameful, Xia Muqing"

Akikino went to the airport early the next morning. When I got up, I saw that it was already an hour after he sent me WeChat, and he said that he was going to go abroad for a week, and he would report his safety to me after he landed. I flipped through the calendar and looked at the day he came back, which happened to be my birthday. After thinking about it, he didn't even say a word about the safety of the journey. There was a burst of guilt in my heart, and there were more and more things that I owed Qiu Qingye. Qiu Qingye didn't specifically explain my work before leaving. Said that the three days of the holiday allowed me to go to Shanghai by myself. If you don't have anything to do at work, you can find fat people, Wu Feng, Dahu, these people are learning to design copywriting, etc. He said that he had explained everything and said that he would bring me a big birthday present when he came back. He also said that he did this, hoping that I would not feel burdened. But he made me more and more burdened. I don't know what to do with it. If you don't refuse, it's like raising him like a spare tire, and if you refuse, it's like crossing a river and demolishing a bridge. I used to deal with other people's relationship problems, but now, like a fool.

Another year's Dragon Boat Festival is here, and more than half of the company's employees left in a hurry just after work, and everyone wants to go home early. Even the chef in the canteen called it a day and went back to celebrate the holidays. Dandan's company organized them to go to the surrounding team building, Yu Tian and Wei Yin went to both parties' homes for the holiday, and even Lu Xiaolan, an idler, also had a date arrangement during the Dragon Boat Festival, the three-day holiday was too short, and I didn't go back to Chongqing, so I planned to go to Shanghai to have a small vacation. Alone, I didn't find a companion. I want to walk quietly. Thinking about it, around a few cities. I still chose a familiar place. I plan to revisit the old place and buy a bullet train ticket to Suzhou.

After coming to the city of Suzhou for nearly five years, the Suzhou in my memory seems to have changed a little, but when I go to some familiar places, I feel that some of them are still the same as I remember. Walking along Shantang Street, there are still a bunch of foreign tourists holding cameras on the bridge and taking pictures. Just like I did a few years ago, I couldn't stop being fascinated by the view. I want to take pictures of every corner and try to keep more memories of this trip. Passing by the rickshaw, I took twenty yuan from my bag and sat on it. Sitting alone in the car, it is true that it is not as crowded as the two people like Xiao Xiao like last time. I passed by a lot of places in the car, and I forgot to walk or not. Sure enough, time can take away a lot of things from memory. As long as it's long enough. No matter how deep the memory is, it will be erased.

The hotel is still the one on Shantang Street six years ago. In fact, I can't remember the name of the hotel, and I searched for a long time in the QQ email to find the order I booked five years ago. It was only then that this hotel was successfully settled. From day to night, I walked a lot of places, tired of it, so I found a restaurant near the hotel and had a casual meal. I don't have a lot of food. Eating alone doesn't have much of an atmosphere. After eating, on the way back to the hotel, I saw Shantang Street at night. After passing the intersection where tickets are sold, I thought about it and took the cruise with headphones. One man's Shantang Street. A sentimental song. Compared with the previous two people, they are really a little lonely at the moment.

A day's travel made me a little tired, back to the hotel after washing up early, I lay on the bed, turned on the music and flipped through today's photos, chose some of my favorite and sent them to the circle of friends, drowsiness came, looked at the time, today's drowsiness came a little early. It was only eleven o'clock, and I was so sleepy that I couldn't open my eyes. Sure enough, traveling is very tiring. After 30 minutes of timed music, I started to close my eyes and fall asleep. But not long after the music in my ears disappeared, I heard the phone ring. I was a little stunned until the louder and louder voices pulled me back from my dream, and I got up and picked up the phone and looked at the name displayed on the screen. Li Yi? I looked at the time, it was past eleven o'clock, how could she call me at this point, after all, I didn't know her very well, I didn't plan to answer, put down the phone and planned to continue sleeping.

But within five minutes she called again. I'm worried that there's something urgent. After thinking about it, I pressed the answer button. Before he could speak, he heard Li Yi's very anxious voice

"Hey, Mu Qing, didn't disturb your rest"

"No, I was just getting ready for bed. What's the matter, what's the urgency at such a late hour"

"I see that you posted a circle of friends, it seems that you are on Shantang Street, have you come to Suzhou to play?"

"Well, the Dragon Boat Festival holiday, the company's people have gone home for the holiday, and I will go out for a walk, why is it so late."

"In this way, then I wish you a happy Dragon Boat Festival first, and I'm really sorry. I need your favor, excuse me. Can you come over and get down the location I sent to you on WeChat, not far away, come and take a taxi for about ten minutes"

"What's wrong?" After I went to sleep, my body became a little weak after a day of exhaustion, and I was not very willing to get up.

"You come first. Let's talk about it later, I'm sorry for you."

Originally, I wanted to ask what was going on, and let me go so late. After all, the two of us have only eaten a meal or two, shopped once, and don't have that kind of friendship that hates to see each other late, and my familiarity with her should only be that I am a colleague who is only her boyfriend. But after thinking about it, this girl shouldn't be okay at this late hour, so she should call me to play. She didn't say it on the phone, and I didn't want to keep chasing the specific question, I looked at the location on the map, not too far, and thought about it now that this point should not be jammed with traffic, and it was fast in the past, so I still agreed to her.

I hung up the phone, got up and changed into a set of sportswear, too lazy to pack up, and took some change for a taxi from my bag. I brought a mobile phone and went over.

The driver stopped about ten minutes after I got in the car, I looked out the window, I didn't expect that the place was closed all around, only one hotel was left, I followed her back to send me the room number on WeChat. The door didn't close. I stood outside and knocked on the door. Li Yi hurriedly came over to open the door, then grabbed my hand and dragged me into the room, like grasping a life-saving straw.

"Mu Qing, I'm really sorry, I really have to go back now, but Xiao Qing drank too much. You need someone to take care of you. I can't call him a few buddies to come from Shanghai so late. I see you're on Shantang Street. It's Xiao Xiao's old classmate again. Just gave you a call, so can you help me take care of him for one night. I looked at Xiao Yu, who was lying unconscious on the bed. I still think that even though Li Yi said so, it wasn't good for me to take care of him so late.

I looked at Li Yi beside the bed and took two steps back, "You... It's so late that I came to take care of him, it's not quite appropriate."

"Aren't you an old classmate with him, I've known him for so many years, it's fine. And I really have to go home now, and you see I can't leave him alone. Just when my mother knew, I was almost going to kill Xiao Yu at such a late hour.

"You and Xiao Xiao, aren't you boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"I'll tell you the details on WeChat. I really have to rush home before twelve o'clock, Xiao Yi will ask you, I'll invite you to dinner another day" After speaking, Li Yi ran away with his bag. The door was also closed by the way. I was left standing, looking at Xiao who was lying on the bed for a while and quiet for a while. Neither to go nor to stay.

I didn't go further into the room, but walked a few steps farther away from Xiao Yi, leaned against the wall and began to wait for Li Yi's WeChat. Thinking that she wouldn't really rest assured, I stayed with Xiao Ying in the middle of the night, a man and a woman, in the hotel without explaining and ignoring it.

At twelve o'clock, a few Li Yi's voices finally popped up on WeChat. After opening it and listening to it, I realized what the whole thing was all about.

Xiao Yu didn't wake up, and he was very uncomfortable tossing and turning in bed. The mobile phone was called out after just charging it in the hotel for a while, and now it looks at the time is getting later and later, and the battery on the mobile phone is getting less and less. I really don't know what to do, and this single room doesn't have a sofa. When the phone battery is only 5 percent left. I looked at it, still sleeping motionless on the bed, Xiao Xuan finally couldn't stand it anymore, and walked over and slept against the corner of the bed.

It wasn't until about four o'clock that he rolled out of bed and threw up in the toilet. I was woken up by his intense vomiting sound. Hurriedly subconsciously got up and took a bottle of mineral water and trotted to him, patting him on the back.

"Why are you here?" After Xiao Yu vomited, he first rinsed his mouth with mineral water, and then realized that it was me who handed the water, not Li Yi.

"I... Li Yi is gone, but don't worry that you are alone in the hotel. He called me and said he was in Suzhou."

"Then why did you come to Suzhou?"

"Dragon Boat Festival, it's okay to have a holiday"

"You didn't go abroad with Mr. Qiu to pick up his parents."

"No, I'm not boyfriend and girlfriend with Qiu Qingye, why go abroad with them"

"Oh~"

After a few words of simple conversation, Xiao Xuan staggered back to the bed with water. I took a few more sips of water and shook my head

Before going out, I thought that it shouldn't take too long, so I touched my pocket, and there were a few dollars of change left on my body, and my mobile phone was out of battery and I couldn't call a taxi. Now I can't speak when I look at Xiao Xiao's mood, so I have to stand next to the toilet.

He turned to look at me and thought for a moment. "It's all here, you sleep on the bed, I'll sleep on the ground, wait for dawn to have a meal together before leaving." I'm sorry for you tonight."

"Oh, that。。。。。。 Okay" After listening to him, I walked over a little embarrassed, not daring to look at him.

After a while I slept in bed, I heard him snoring. He actually started snoring. Heh~ Listen to his even snoring. I couldn't help but smile. After a few hours in the room, there was still a smell of alcohol. Xiao Xuan fell asleep quite steadily, but I couldn't sleep in bed tossing and turning, and I didn't know if it was nervousness or what. Although it wasn't like he hadn't lived in a room before, he now had a girlfriend after all. The air conditioning in the room was also a little cold, I watched Xiao Xuan wear a short sleeve and sleep on the ground, I still felt a little unbearable, got up and gently covered the quilt on his body, and then sat by the window with my legs crossed and watched the lights outside from the dark night to the dawn.

It is early in the summer day. It was dawn at five o'clock. I tiptoed up and looked around the bedside table to finally find Xiao Mi's charger, plugged it in, and watched the mobile phone screen light up and really felt like it was alive again, and I kept scrolling through Weibo and listening to songs in the circle of friends, until Xiao Mi who was lying on the ground at more than eleven o'clock had a movement. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up half-open and half-closed,

He got up and looked at me, looking at the quilt on his body. "You. I didn't sleep."

"I slept, I woke up at nine o'clock, went to the toilet, I looked like you were quite cold, I didn't sleep anyway, so I covered the quilt for you"

"Oh, then I really have to thank you for your kindness and didn't let me die of cold here~"

He got up and rubbed his hair, which was no longer formed, and sniffed his clothes again. Frowning, he found a t-shirt from his bag on the bedside table.

"You're playing with your phone, I'll clean it up. Wait, let's go out and have a meal together" He brushed his teeth in the toilet, washed his hair and took a shower. I was shaking my feet in panic outside. More than ten minutes later, he came out and said let's go. Look at him with a look of indifference. I just thought, he doesn't have anything, I'm panicking here.

"Now, your charger, give it back to you, I'll use it in the morning, don't forget" I ripped off the bedside charger and handed it to him, he hesitated, bent down and took out the phone from the drawer with the screen shattered. I looked at it, threw it in my bag and walked out of the room. After checking out, the two of us walked aimlessly down the pedestrian street. He didn't speak. I also followed him with acquaintance, quietly stepping on his footsteps and following him, walking and walking, Xiao Xuan stopped outside the western restaurant on the side of the road. He looked up at his watch and walked in, ordering two steaks, a pizza, and a bottle of red wine. The whole process was done without asking me what I was going to eat. After the waiter served the red wine, he first poured himself a large glass, and then asked me with the wine

"To drink or not to drink?"

"In broad daylight, I don't drink, I drank my face, and I don't need to pour a full glass of red wine like you."

He looked down and grinned. While pouring wine, he said, "But I don't have a face, and I wouldn't be happy to drink this red wine if there was beer and white wine."

"You only drank a lot yesterday, don't drink it today"

He didn't speak, drank the glass of red wine poured over, looked at my face and said, "I've seen your makeup for half a year, you have removed your makeup, and I will see you for the first time." Take a closer look, after so many years, you still look like junior high school."

Listening to what he said, I felt a little uncomfortable. I don't know if he didn't wake up yesterday, or if he is in a hurry now, and he actually talked about junior high school.

"I'll go find a waiter to urge the food," I got up and left. I feel a little lost. But I felt that in fact, Xiao Xuan didn't say anything, and his reaction was too radical and contrived.

When I walked back, I watched Xiao Ying take the wine and pour glass after glass into his glass, and kept drinking. He felt uncomfortable, I could tell.

"In broad daylight, drink less, you're so tall. I'm drunk, my 1.6 meter can't lift it."

He still kept drinking, but he started chatting with me for a while

"Yesterday, what time did you come?"

"About twelve o'clock."

"Then what did Li Yi tell you to say?"

"She said, "You guys..." Halfway through speaking, I stopped and cautiously glanced at Xiao 㒎?

"Say, I'm afraid of a fart"

I watched him pout

"She didn't say anything last night, just called me over, I used to see you drunk like a dead pig lying on the bed, she said she couldn't leave like this, so she called me over to take care of you, and waited until she got home before she told me about her breakup with you on WeChat"

"And what else?"

And she said it was because her mom minded that you were a single parent. You can't leave your mother alone. And you can't settle in Shanghai, so her mother doesn't agree with her to join you, and her attitude is very resolute, she has thought about it for a long time and still can't abandon her parents and go to Chongqing with you. She also said that this matter has been delayed since I came to your house and returned to Shanghai, and there is no solution. She couldn't drag it anymore. So she had no choice but to make a choice. It's good for both of you to be separated now, it won't delay you. Then let me comfort, comfort, enlighten, enlighten you. I said you know it yourself, why are you asking me?"

"I'm going to hear what she really thinks, and since she's said so, let's divide it."

"Then divide? You're waking up now and talking about chic, but last night I don't know who drank too much and yelled and screamed and threw up in that bed."

He looked at me and smiled, and drank a full glass of red wine.

I wanted to ask him what he planned to do in the future. But after thinking about it, the current relationship doesn't seem to be an identity that is familiar enough to ask. I swallowed the words that were already in my mouth. We each eat the food in front of us. There was a moment of silence

It didn't take long for him to speak first. I looked up at him as I chewed on the beef in my mouth, and he hadn't eaten much. I've been cutting the steak in front of me, but it's more like venting my anger than it's cutting. But there was still no sad expression on his face. Hold on, I'll see how long you can hold on.

"Let's play for a few days."

"I'll play for a few days after the Dragon Boat Festival, many people in the company have gone home, and it's not interesting to stay in the company."

"Then let's go back to Shanghai together. My phone was broken, and I didn't have much cash on my body when I flipped it over just now, and I ordered the ticket back to Shanghai the day after tomorrow."

"Co-author, you order so much and the result doesn't cost you your own money. And you're going to rely on me to eat and drink for two more days."

"Don't be so money-conscious, okay? Then you forgot that six years ago, I asked you not to come over during the Dragon Boat Festival that year, you had to come. I also chose not before the festival or after the holiday, I had to be in the middle of the few days, but I played with you a lot of righteousness, and it took me a lot of time and cost me a lot of living expenses. You had fun and went back directly, but I've been at school for more than ten days before and after, so I don't have to pay it back."

"Yes, yes, yes, your heart is big enough, and you have been in love for six years" Watching him play tricks is really a bit like when he was in junior high school. I smiled. Said in my heart, naïve

"You said that we are really fated, six years later, we have just reunited in the real sense, and we have spent the Dragon Boat Festival together again"

"Is there fate?" I asked myself, looking down. If there was fate, it wouldn't be six years later. Xiao 㒎? Finished, I asked, and we were in awkward again, and for some reason today, the atmosphere always felt weird

Fortunately, the waiter finally served the final dessert at this awkward moment, which eased the atmosphere

"Let's eat. Eat more. It's all for you to eat, it's not my money anyway."

"Brother, can you be more mature," I threw at him with a cherry tomato

Walking out of the restaurant, I saw that it was almost three o'clock. It's not too early or too late, we really don't know what to do, so we thought about taking a taxi to the cinema to watch a movie to kill the time. The recent films on the screen in the cinema are all sci-fi blockbusters. He watched it for a long time and didn't find it, snatched my mobile phone, and said to me after a while, why don't you find a private theater, I see that his mood today is indeed not suitable for watching science fiction movies. I had no choice but to walk out of the cinema with my bag and start looking for the private cinema he wanted to go to.

I finally found a private room. After arriving at the store, I just took out my mobile phone to choose a comedy, but he directly told the boss to give me an order for my ex 3 to see my ex again. Co-authored and tossed for a long time, he didn't want to watch sci-fi blockbusters or comedies, he just wanted to watch some sad romance films. That's not early. Toss for half a day. I cursed in my heart. In the face of this newly lost lovelorn person, he can only keep smiling.

After opening the private room, the staff closed the door after saying that there was something to do and pressed the service button on the table. The two of us sat quietly on the sofa, eating snacks, and I watched him watch the movie seriously. I remembered that six years ago, when we were teenagers, we watched science fiction movies. Six years later, in our twenties, we watched a romance movie. During the last time I watched a movie in Wuxi, my junior high school rival called him, and I happened to see him. I didn't even watch the movies that made me angry. I didn't bother to talk to him until I finished reading it. This time, I am still not optimistic about accompanying him who has just fallen out of love.

This movie, in fact, I have seen it. I went to see it with Chen Sheng at that time. I didn't expect to see it again with Xiao Yu, and it was after we all broke up. This movie is full of laughs in the front, and there are a lot of abuse points in the back. Meng Yun and Lin Jia were the last to pretend to be Supreme Treasure and shouted Lin Jia in tears on the street, I love you, one was allergic to mango and fainted. It still makes me feel uncomfortable when I look at it again, growing up is really a very painful thing, you don't necessarily gain something, but you will definitely lose something. Probably all the mistakes in life are fate. Zixia Fairy leaves the Supreme Treasure, and the Supreme Treasure can truly grow into the Monkey King. This is the reality, no matter how much you love, if you miss it, you can only become loved. When the movie ended, the whole room was dark and I didn't turn on the lights. After a few minutes, Xiao Yu got up and whispered, "I'm done, let's disperse."

The lovelorn Yu Fei and Meng Yun in the movie are so hilarious, but now Xiao Yu is like Lin Jia and Ding Dian in it. I followed him out of the cinema. He walked by himself for half an hour without looking back, and I followed him without shouting at him, just trying to catch up with him. At 1.9 meters, he took a stride and I really had to trot to catch up. As he walked, he stopped and turned his head to look at the other side, caught off guard, I hit his head on the back, he didn't feel any pain, just turned to look at me and asked me if I was hungry. His eyes were red. I looked at him and shook my head. He said, "Then let's wait for this bar to open and we'll go play."

My eyes widened when I heard him say that.

"You're going to the bar?"

"Why, no. You are the only one to go? ”

After thinking about it, after I was with Chen Sheng, I hardly went to a bar in the past three years. Not in the near future, so how did Xiao know that I went?

"How did you know I went to the bar"

He rolled his eyes at me, "Guess what"

He turned around and walked into the café opposite, I didn't have the courage to stop him when he left, and I still didn't have the courage to ask him the questions I wanted to ask him when I went in and sat down across from him. For more than an hour waiting for the bar to open, we were speechless to each other.

When the bar opened at eight o'clock, we opened a booth and ordered two bottles of foreign wine. Before the field was warmed up, he drank by himself one by one, shaking to the music, and more than nine o'clock began to increase, he had already drunk a bottle of foreign wine, he wiped his mouth with a piece of paper and stepped on the stage, and disappeared into the crowd. And I, too, drank glass by glass, thinking about what he had just said. Think about each possibility one after the other, and then deny it.

It wasn't until after eleven o'clock that he came down and lay down next to me. As expected, my height of 1.62 meters still gritted my teeth and carried him, a 1.9 person, back to the hotel. In Shantang Street, I still set the hotel we stayed in that year, the same room. Today the two of us went back to the same room we lived in together a few years ago. When he slept in that bed again. I remembered a few years ago. When we first arrived in Suzhou from Wuxi, the two of us were very excited and happy. Looking at his face, which was already red to his neck, and closed his eyes, I washed up, sat on the bed next to him, wiped his face with a towel, and then looked at him and said to himself, "Now that I've drunk a little wine and have a lot to say, I finally muster up the courage to ask you." But it's a pity that you're asleep again."

But in the darkness his voice suddenly sounded, "You ask, whatever you want to ask, I will answer you today, I should thank you"

I was really startled by his sudden sound. I didn't expect him to be awake. Thinking about what I just said, my body stiffened for a moment and I didn't dare to move, so nervous that my heart fluctuated, and my whole body could feel its strong beat. I was stuck in my throat again. The only sound in the darkness was the breathing of the two of us, and the ticking of his watch.

"I'm really going to fall asleep, give you another five minutes to think about it, after tonight, I won't be answering"

I pinched my fingers, bit my lip, and my palms began to sweat. I wondered if those who had wanted to ask for many years should ask

"There's a minute left, I...

"Have you received all the messages I sent, have you seen all the birthday wishes?" my voice trembled so much that I couldn't hear it clearly.

He didn't answer right away, but it took a moment for a clear uh-hum from his nose. "I know it's all you who don't speak."

"Then why don't you reply, QQ WeChat won't delete me."

"I don't think there's anything to reply to, we have graduated, and it has been many years since graduation, in fact, our lives, you are in Chongqing, I am in Wuxi, and we don't have much common topics to talk about. After all, two people are in different cities. And then you have a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend, and like I told you when you were in college, you can forget about me and live your own life. I don't want to affect you, so I can only choose not to reply to you."

"Oh" I see. I bowed my head.

"Isn't it good right now. You and Mr. Qiu. Find such a good man. I'm really happy for you. ”

"yes"

"Is there anything else you want to ask?"

"Then why don't you suddenly disappear without saying a word"

Xiao sighed.

"You said you would answer"

"Because I knew we weren't going to be together at the time." His words made my tears flow out of my eyes at once. I didn't make any sound. Not even sobbing. Tears flowed down his face so quietly, non-stop. Dripping on the back of my hand. On the legs, on the feet. As all kinds of emotions gathered, the tears dripped faster and more densely, like a sudden rain that did not stop. It's not that we can't be together, it turns out that we won't be together. I can't say another word. I'm afraid that if I open my mouth, there will only be crying. Originally. When you're sad, you don't have to cry out loud, but you can shed a lot of tears.

Xiao sat up from the bed, and I could only see his figure, not the expression on his face. He sat facing me. The voice came more clearly

"I liked you in junior high school. Even my high school classmates know this, I don't know if you remember, the first time we met three years after graduation, KFC across the street from your house, when it came to who I liked in junior high school, at that time you said that there were too many people I liked, and then my high school classmates jokingly told you that I liked you when I was in junior high school. I did not speak out against this statement. This should also be the first time that I have expressed my feelings for you. Although it is three years late, although it comes out of someone else's mouth. I think we're both pretty cowardly. Obviously, they used to like each other, but no one dared to take that step to show their hearts. I still remember when you were in school, you avoided me because of your bad grades. For three years, you avoided me for almost a year and a half, and at that time you were so inferior that you didn't dare to play with me, didn't dare to talk to me, and I forgot whether it was the first or second year of junior high school. You texted me and said you liked me, but who would have thought that luck would be so bad that my sister was right next to me. At that time, my sister asked me if we really knew what it meant to be liked, and I only replied that we were just classmates, how could we understand love and love in the eyes of adults. But I feel that the feelings that sprout from my heart for a person at that age are pure and flawless. So when I went to school, I tried my best to make you say, I don't care what kind of person you are in the eyes of other people or teachers. I only had one idea at the time, and even if it seemed like ridiculous love, I wanted him to start. But who knows why you won't say anything, I'm angry. I don't want to talk to you anymore. But in the third year of junior high school, the head teacher often arranged us as the front and back tables. You can't hide from me, and I can't hide from you. Then you become more and more silent. I can only bully you more constantly in order for you to communicate with me. I don't like you hiding from me. Because I know our time is limited. In just three years, it passed quickly, and the third year of junior high school was about to graduate, and at that time I realized more clearly that we were about to part. I know, with your grades, we certainly can't go to the same school together. I'm anxious, sad, regretful, but I can't do anything but let time pass little by little, and I don't know how to help you. I don't know how to help us. So I can only naively bully you, bully you in class, bully you after class, let you remember me more, and let my memories about you more. At that time, I thought there was at least half a year left, but it was a full 180 days, and somehow, it was gone in a blink of an eye. That's how we graduated. When we got our diplomas, we didn't choose the right time, and we didn't get to see each other or say goodbye until the end. So in the first year of high school, you told me on QQ that you like me. I scolded you severely. I was angry why you had the courage to come to me at that time, and at that time I thought it was too late for you to say anything. Our lives have gone their separate ways. After that, we didn't have contact. Because you deleted me. It wasn't until I graduated from high school in 2012 that the class president organized a party, I thought we would meet again, I was looking forward to seeing you when I grew up, I was wondering if the person who sent me a message would be you, and I tried to call you at the instigation of those people, but I didn't expect it to be you, I was very happy at that time. What Lin Jia said on the phone is what I want to say, I really want you to come. I'd love to meet you and make up for that bad goodbye from three years ago. I haven't seen you yet after everyone has eaten. I know, you're not coming. You still have low self-esteem in your heart. I'm disappointed that we'll always be separated by a wall you've built. But I heard you say you went to the movies with them. We missed it again. I'm wondering why we always have to miss out. Is it true that there is no fate at all. But what I didn't expect was that I actually received a text message from you, saying that you want to be friends with me again, I was quite surprised and happy. We added QQ back. At first, I just chatted with you casually, and I didn't dare to answer your phone. Because I don't dare to hear you. I don't think I'm ready. At that time, my heart was quite confused, and I didn't know how to define the feeling I had in my heart about you, whether it was love or regret? So one time you had to call me, I went offline. I didn't talk to you again until more than ten days later, and I never took the initiative to look for you, because I knew you would not be able to hold back looking for me. Add WeChat, it seems that it took more than half a year to chat before I agreed to add your WeChat. I used to talk about QQ every few days, and I chatted once every ten days. Plus WeChat, at that time, I was really chatting with you every day from waking up in the morning to going to bed at night. I found out that after a few years, you are more cheerful and talk to me a lot. Every day when I open WeChat, I can always see the information that you almost occupy the screen, you tell me about your life, tell me about the people you meet, I think it's very fresh, and I feel good to chat with you. But when I knew maybe you still liked me. I'm cowardly. Also suddenly a little sober. I said to make you forget about me and live your own life. Because I still didn't know what I was thinking at the time. I wanted to get out of the way, and in order to get out of the way, I also said something that could hurt you. And then in May, I came back, and I really wanted to see what you had become of in reality, after a few years. I've come to see you. We haven't seen each other for three years, and we talked a lot about it. But after a few hours, we were still a little out of words, after all, we lived in two different places and different people. Then go back to Wuxi. I'm starting to slow down to reply to your messages. I seem to have completed the regret in my heart, and I also clearly realized that there is no going back between us. Junior high school was a far, far away. As if I gave you the wrong information. I feel like you're leaning closer to me. I'm starting to hide from you a little. Until you say you're coming to Wuxi. Before I could say no, you said you had already bought your ticket. And so we started our trip all of a sudden. At first, it was excitement, halfway through the quarrel, and finally it was about recognizing reality. Maybe we are just nostalgic for us a few years ago, regretting us a few years ago, and not forgetting us a few years ago. I took that trip as a farewell trip, goodbye to you, goodbye to me, goodbye to us in junior high school. There are many fond memories of the journey, which I still remember. I snatched it when you took out your ID card and said you were ugly, we obviously bought tickets together, but the staff gave us two carriages with a difference of 7 cars, we didn't dislike each other to drink a bottle of Coke, we fed each other food that they thought was delicious, we took a rickshaw together, I secretly took a very ugly photo for you, but you still don't admit that it was you. One of us took a headset to take a boat to swim on Shantang Street at night, we nested together in the hotel to eat instant noodles, I quarreled with you because of going to Nanjing or going to Ningbo, almost went our separate ways, we took a car to Ningbo for three or four hours because we had to take a black car to get to the place you chose, I was irritable and I got angry with you, we ate seafood together with the sea breeze blowing on the beach, we went to visit the ancient town at night together, we also bought beer to drink, we watched the very popular drama together, the girl we chased together in those yearsWe thought we could see a very beautiful sea but it rained only to see the ugly and white sea, we went to a shop that only sells seafood and asked the boss to make braised pork for us, I also peeled a lot of shrimp for you, back to Ningbo City, because you are so stupid, we took the wrong bus and missed the bus back to Wuxi, we were in the hotel for four years, I called your name again, you have to give me makeup results, and I was painted as a ladyboy, but I couldn't stop laughing over there, I was lying on your lap when you washed my face, I felt your breathing, but I didn't dare to open my eyes, at that time I actually had a plan in my heart, after you returned to Chongqing, I didn't contact you, returned to Wuxi, you accompanied me back to school, we were eating Pizza Hut You casually said that I like you, we watched a movie together, went to the night market together, and on the last night we also drank a bottle of wine together, talked a lot, and you drank too much to wear your underwear for me. I was really angry and funny. Although you have graduated from high school, you seem to be cute and childish when you were in junior high school, and you still lie on my bed early in the morning and refuse to come out, I remember all of this, but, Mu Qing, our happy times are all making up for the past. I made it very clear that I really only had regrets for you at that time, and I was still secretly making up for the regrets I had for you, I was very selfish, and I didn't think about what kind of harm this would cause you. At that time, you didn't want to come out, and we couldn't be friends. So finally I'll put you in a taxi. Until you know you're safely on the plane. I'll just disappear from your world. You said, the 21st is the birthday, I remember, although it was a few days away, I still gave these to you as a birthday gift. I thought you would be like me, and after completing these regrets, you would be able to live your life better. But I didn't expect my sudden departure to trap you for so many years. But I still chose not to reply to you, I think time can heal those hurts in your heart, and when you meet someone better, you can forget me. Before the end of this relationship with Li Yi, she actually left suddenly, when I came to Suzhou to find her, when I felt how hard and uncomfortable it was for me to find the answer to the answer about two people by myself, I realized how hard it was to resist every day you have lived in the past few years. I really feel sorry for you in my heart. Because your immature self at that time hurt you. So, Xia Muqing, today, 24-year-old Xiao 㒎, instead of 19-year-old Xiao 㒎, today when you are 25 years old, I apologized to you at the age of 19, and suddenly left you without saying a word, I'm sorry. Whew~ This explanation that was five years late, and now it is finally returned to you"

After listening to his long words, I couldn't stop crying. I lowered my head, hugged my knees, choked and cried. I couldn't control the sadness in my heart. In other words, I didn't want to hide the pain in my heart, and I cried out loud in front of him. I cried until I was shaking all over. Crying until my whole body feels pain.

I thought about many possibilities, but never thought we'd talk about it in a place where we had memories. It makes me feel ridiculous. This person who has always been in my heart, he himself pulled himself out of my heart.

It turned out that I had already missed Xiao 㒎 when I was studying. It turned out that Xiao Xuan also thought about it very clearly very early. It is already clear that the past is the past, and no matter what, it cannot be recovered. This answer, which I have been waiting for for five years, is too clear, too complete, and too cruel. In the future, I don't have to see the plot of a TV series or a novel, or hear a love song, and start to fantasize about our possibility. We, it should be said, Xiao Yu and I in my memory, from the first day of junior high school to now, have been entangled for more than 12 years, and now we finally want to say goodbye. I want to remember, in my dreams, that one who always bullied me in class. The person who always bullied me in my dreams was erased from the center of my memory. Let Xia Muqing after the age of 25 start her own life.

Xiao handed me the paper and gently patted me on the back. I don't know how long I cried. Until the two eyes cry until no tears come out.

"We've all grown up"

"Yes, I've grown up a long time ago"

"You know, in the past five years, although you haven't said a word to me, it still remains in my heart. You haven't even had anything to do with my life for five years. I'm very surprised, whether before I met you, or after I met you again, I was able to put you firmly in my heart like this, from the first year of junior high school when I was 13 years old, to now more than ten years, how many years I have known you, how many years you have existed in my heart. I've thought about why you're leaving, the older I get, the more cruel my thoughts become, I began to think about this more and more realistically, but I couldn't help but fantasize that maybe we would meet again, many people have advised me, forget it, forget it, it's been so long, but I have never been able to pass that level in my heart, I don't want to be the person who doesn't even know the reason for being abandoned. A lot of people say I'm obsessed, obsessed with wanting to know an answer that doesn't mean to me now, they say it's not love, it's just my paranoia, maybe it's, because I don't know what kind of reason made me persist for five years. I can't tell if it's your liking or your obsession with the past, but after hearing your answer, I think this mystery should finally be solved.

In a few days, it's going to be my birthday again. Six years ago, a few days before I turned 20, you came to give me a hope, and 6 years later, a few days before I turned 25, you came and gave me a result, Xiao Xuan, will we really be too fateful, or God is playing with us"

He lowered his head and laughed out loud "Who knows"

I threw away the paper in my hand, picked up the wine at the bedside, opened it and handed him a bottle, I took a bottle myself, stretched out my hand, and held Xiao Yu's hand. I didn't turn on the lights. I just want to say goodbye in the dark like this, I'm afraid to turn on the light, I will be reluctant.

"Goodbye, 13-year-old Xiao 㒎, hello, 25-year-old Xiao 㒎"

"Hello, 25-year-old Xia Muqing"

It turned out that it was not only the back of my hand that had tears on it, but also the back of his hand.

At this moment, I smiled contentedly. But there is also an empty piece in my heart