I had a strange dream.

In my dream, I went back to when I was a child, when I was still with my mother.

"Xingzhu, you have to be obedient, okay, don't let your mother worry, okay?" In the dream, my mother's face is still real, and even the voice of the voice is still the same, which makes me feel warm.

"I've always been very obedient and well-behaved." I meekly hid in her arms, and everything was so real.

"That mom wants you to be happier, a little easier."

"I'm very happy and relaxed now." In the gap between my answers, I found that I had become what I am now, "Mom, don't worry, everything is fine now, the only regret is that you are not by my side." ”

"Xingzhu, Mom doesn't feel sad or regretful." It was like she was going to tell me something, she was going to tell me something.

"Then doesn't my mother think that this life is very hard, if you had to do it all over again, would you still choose this way?"

"There's nothing hard or hard, just feel happy, life can't be repeated, you can do it all over again, I will definitely not choose to live such a life again, because my mother wants to try something else."

I was a little confused, did she regret it, or was she telling me that I only experienced it once in my life, and if there was a next time, would I live another way?

"Do you feel heavy about life?" I thought about it for a moment and asked her.

"It depends on whether you see it heavy or not." Mom smiled and said, "If you choose to be heavy, it will be heavy for the rest of your life, and if you choose to look down, then it will be easy everywhere." Xingzhu, how do you choose to live your life? ”

yes, how do I choose to live my life?

I have a mom, I don't have a dad, I've been a single parent since I was a kid, my mom left me very early, and I had to be fostered in someone else's home.

I suddenly have a dad now, what a surprise and how amazing, but I am not in the mood to rejoice or cheer. Because I've missed the age when I can jump happily, and when I laugh, maybe I would have jumped if I had a dad, but not anymore, because it's the same with a dad and without a dad, because I've grown up and started a family, and I'm strong enough to protect myself.

"Mom, my life is the same as yours, it's simple and easy." I look at this mother's face, that face that has never changed, that I will never forget.

"Mom, I can still live a very happy and happy life, as long as I want, nothing can stop me."

"Xingzhu, sometimes it's a blessing to let go of resentment, my mother doesn't regret it, because my mother has you, so you don't have to be sad for your mother, you still have to face it, do you say yes?"

Face, face what? Facing my father who suddenly ran out?

Mom, you don't regret it, but I feel unworthy for you.

Why can a person's fate be changed because of an irresponsible person? If it weren't for that person, Mom, why would you have been miserable all your life, you can forgive him, then who will be responsible for your short life?

"Mom, your heart is just too kind to suffer, no one will care about you," I looked at my mother pitifully, her face was really young, she was only twenty-five or sixteen years old when she died, and it was the best moment of her life, her life had just begun.

"Silly Xingzhu, my mother doesn't feel hard with you." Mom cried as she spoke, I had never seen her cry, but in this dream I saw it so real, she just cried.

"Mom, you think it's so hard, don't you?" I stretched out my hand and hugged her, just like she hugged me a thousand times, "I won't let you work hard anymore, I'm an adult now, you can rest assured and have a good rest." ”

I hugged my mom and persuaded while crying, and persuaded while crying.

When I woke up, I saw myself in the hospital.

White walls, white beds, white roofs, and the soothing grabbed my hand next to me. Xu Wei was also beside her, she was crying.

"I'm all right, am I?" The first thing I said was about myself, yes, I have to care about myself in the future, I have to take care of myself first, otherwise, my mother will not be at ease even if she dies.

"Xingzhu, you're awake." Like in thousands of TV episodes, Zhuo Yu became excited all of a sudden, and asked me how I was.

Xu Wei didn't dare to speak, for fear that I would be emotional again. I saw her mouth open and not speak.

"Xu Wei, are you there too?" I spoke to her and stretched out my hand to pull her, "Xu Wei, come here." ”

Xu Wei was surprised, stunned for a moment, and hurriedly gave me his hand.

"Sit down, I've got something to tell you." I motioned for her to sit down and patted the back of her hand.

Xu Wei was very obedient and quickly sat down on the edge of my bed.

"I'm a little thirsty, can you go buy some apples?" I smiled and talked to Zhuo Yu and carried him away.

"Okay, I'll go right away, you guys talk slowly." After Zhuo Yu finished speaking, he walked out and patted Xu Wei's shoulder.

The two of us nodded, watching as Juanyu disappeared into the doorway.

Xu Wei looked at me and quickly turned his face away.

"Xu Wei, I had a dream just now, I dreamed of my mother." I whispered to her, not at all in the mood of the morning.

Xu Wei paused for a moment and did not speak.

"My mom told me so much, and she unraveled what was in my mind all at once."

I turned my face to look out the window, the blue sky was still beautiful.

"I'm sorry Xingzhu, I just wanted you to meet Dad." Xu Wei was apologizing to me again.

"Xu Wei, you don't have to apologize, really, it's not your fault." I turned to her again, "Actually, none of us can expect what will happen in the future, all we can do is fix it after it happens." ”

When Xu Wei heard me say this, she raised her head to look at me, and there was a moment of relaxation in her eyes, she had been blaming herself all the time.

"You don't have to blame yourself anymore, if it were me, I might do the same." I smiled with her and pretended to be relaxed.

"In fact, each of us has a demon in our hearts, and sometimes we accidentally release this demon, which is called impulsiveness. I shouldn't have done that to you yesterday, so I'm sorry and I ask for your pardon. ”

"Xingzhu, I'm sorry for you, don't say that."

"Listen to me," I said, taking her hand, "I shouldn't hate anyone, and I shouldn't blame you, because that's in the past, and if you take a step back, it's the business of the older generations." My mom has never felt that she is hard, but she has been crying out for her in my heart, and in the end, it is my own demons that are doing the trick. ”

"Xingzhu, I just wanted you to meet him, I didn't expect it to be like this, if I knew, I wouldn't have introduced you to him anyway."

"I know you're just doing it for my good. So I said it was me who was wrong yesterday, I was too impulsive, I'm sorry. Will we still be good friends in the future? ”

"Of course, as long as you don't break with me, I will always be good friends with you."

"Okay, then you go back and tell Dad, I'm fine, I don't have anything in my heart, so he doesn't have to be sad, I just need some time."

Xu Wei looked at me after hearing this, and couldn't believe it.

"What do you mean—"

"I don't mean anything, you just say I'm fine now, and nothing else."

To forgive someone, in fact, it is not so easy to say forgive.

But I know the purpose of my mother's dream, to let go of hate, to love well, and if I really can't love, then I must not hate.

Let the affairs of the older generation go with it, why bother to entangle the next generation.

"Xu Wei, we are still good friends and sisters."