My eight-month-old child died, I buried him with my own hands, every piece of his clothes and supplies was carefully selected and prepared by me, I waited for his birth, and finally waited for the distress.

Zhuo Yu and Xu Wei, but the two of them didn't explain anything to me.

When did the two of them get together? Since when? When were you planning to hurt me?

A few days ago, I ran away from home in the middle of the night because I was afraid of being implicated, tossing and turning, but now they came to tell me that the two of them had a child, and my child became a victim.

Dad didn't know why I fell down the stairs, I just told him I had accidentally stumbled. If Dad knew the truth of the matter, how sad he would be.

Dad, it doesn't seem like it's been so smooth sailing in my life, why do I want to come out now?

Zhuo Yu came to my room again and again to save the relationship between us, but even the most important thing between us no longer exists, what else can we use to redeem it? We are destined to never go back to the past.

I moved out of the house, no matter how much my father persuaded me not to live in the house anymore, I have always regarded home as my last place, as the warmest harbor, I have always regarded everyone in the family as relatives, even if Xu Wei's mother used to coerce me quietly, I still expect her to just laugh, but I was wrong from the beginning, all people are not what they seem.

Xu Wei also took me back to the place we knew the night before, we sighed about life, reminisced about the past, we squeezed into the same bed, but the next day she told me a devastating thing, my child died in my own mistakes. Should I hate others or myself?

Juanyu, when you are the lowest and most confused, I ask everyone to give you confidence and help you, I am afraid that you will always be stuck in low self-esteem and will not be able to pull it out, I am afraid that you will do something wrong and regret it for the rest of your life, but look at what you do to me. I was pregnant with my child, your child, and I refused all the opportunities that should shine, but you gave me such an answer at the end of the day.

My home doesn't belong to me anymore, and none of you have anything to do with me. I can only go, I can only leave you forever. Look, I'm not taking anything with me, I'm not going to see anything about you anymore.

I have no friends in this city except Shen Yan, so I can only find Shen Yan alone, I just didn't expect that when I was the most difficult and saddest, it was not the person who promised to go with me at the beginning, but a person I had unintentionally met who had nothing to do with it.

Shen Yan, he once didn't hesitate to pick me up late at night with just one phone call from me, and he didn't care about receiving a slap from my father. Now, he's here to help me again.

"Find me a job, whatever, just keep me busy, Shen Yan, please give me a job."

I declined my father's arrangement, the apartment he had prepared for me and the job he had given me, I wanted to avoid all of them, and I had to start over.

Shen Yan took me to his apartment and prepared all the daily necessities for me, he didn't inquire or ask why, just did everything for me like a real friend.

"Xingzhu, there are some things that you can't forget, but you must give up." Shen Yan said to me the most. He is always quiet at night, not demanding, just telling me something, "However, there are some things that are better to be redeemed if they can be redeemed, many things in life are so imperfect, all we have to do is to try to make it perfect." Who is infallible? ”

"Then did you forget your girlfriend, you're your fiancée, have you forgotten it now?" I'm always doing cruel things, I'm always magnifying my own pain infinitely, and I'm hurting others when others are trying to persuade me.

"If it's useful, I'll always be sad, but if my girlfriend sees me, I'm afraid she won't be blind." Shen Yan's eyes were blurred, as if he had returned to his memory, I am afraid that when he dreams back at midnight, Shen Yan will also recall the warmth and happiness of the past, but why is the reality so cruel?

"So you're going to hold back your feelings, hold back your emotions?" I still kept asking, "We are different, you are a loss, I am a failure." I watched myself lose to the ridicule of others. Like now, where would you know what I've been through. ”

My child's name is Zhao'er, he is a boy, he has very thick hair, and he is very cute all over his body. He left without even seeing me.

"I lost my child, and I watched him so much that I didn't even hear his voice. You know, I'm holding him like I'm holding a piece of ice, I,"

I can't go on talking about how they could put the child in the morgue like that, not even a bed.

Shen Yan came over and patted me and pressed me into his arms, his voice was extremely warm, "Xingzhu, I understand your feelings, I know everything, let's cry." ”

I don't know how many times I've cried in the middle of the night, I cried like I was looking for a place where no one was around, I wanted to shout, I wanted to use all my strength to send my child to go well, so that he would never be hurt again.

When my dad came to see me, I was desperately mopping the floor, I cleaned Shen Yan's residence, I wanted to make it clean from head to toe, I wanted to clean it up.

"When Juanyu left, he left a bunch of keys and didn't take anything with him." Dad took out a bunch of keys, and I took a look, it was the key to our previous home with Lianyu.

"Xingzhu, Dad doesn't know what's wrong with you, but Dad knows that without the child, Juanyu must be as sad as you. You stay out for a while, and when you're in a better mood, you'll come back home, okay? ”

Daddy, when will I be in a good mood, when will I be able to go back to the way I was? I never plan to tell you what you don't know, you can be trapped for the rest of your life for the sake of children and people you don't like, and I can also hide all the things that hurt your heart for the rest of my life for the sake of your father.

Dad, I just want to be quiet, I just want to start over quietly alone, I just want to stop relying on and putting it into practice.

"Dad, I just want to be quiet, I just need a little time." I persuaded my dad to leave, and I persuaded him to go again and again when he came, and my dad really felt sorry for me, and I apologized again for my previous attitude.

Zhuoyu, I can live well and happily without you, and I can take good care of myself without you. I will no longer worry about you having an accident outside and can't sleep in the middle of the night, I will no longer worry about your body and have been stewing a pot of soup all afternoon, I will no longer worry about whether you are lonely and lonely outside and waiting for you to call in the middle of the night.

Zhuoyu, I can also run myself well without you.