I stumbled forward, holding on to the drip stand, step by step to find my child, who had been quietly in his mother's womb yesterday waiting for birth, and today he had gone to another place. Baby, mom is sorry for you in this life.

Zhuo Yu followed me step by step, he didn't dare to say a word, just sobbed quietly, as if he was trying to endure something. I floated like a ghost in the hallway, the hospital hallway was quiet, the last time I experienced such a quiet moment was after my mother's accident, I didn't expect to experience it all over again years later.

The sound of the pulley of the drip rack echoed in the quiet corridor, monotonous and abrupt, and I held the shelf tightly and walked carefully step by step.

My child is lying quietly in the cold place, and he has not even had time to look at the world before he has ever been separated from me.

When Juanyu opened the door for me, he wanted to dissuade me from looking at it for the last time, I looked into his eyes and said seriously, word by word,

"Open the door, I want to see." I want to see, I want to see my child in the end, he has been in my womb for more than eight months, we are heart-to-heart, we feel connected, we are together all the time, but now, all of a sudden, he is gone, all of a sudden he is going to disappear from my world. I looked at him one last time, even if I can't forget that scene for the rest of my life, I want to spend my whole life in guilt, I want to see my children one last time.

I'm afraid I'll never forget this scene for the rest of my life.

My child was lying there with his eyes closed, wrapped in a white cloth from the hospital, and his child was more than eight months old and fully developed, and was already a healthy and normal life waiting to be born at any time. His hair is very thick, and his whole body is chubby and very cute, if he is born, if he can be born smoothly, then he must be a very cute and beautiful child.

I picked him up, and he was cold, small and light, as if there was no weight in his hands. I looked at his face, although his eyes were closed tightly, but his expression was very painful, he must have been very uncomfortable and scared when he was born, so how could he be better with such a sudden impact, he must have been very painful so he frowned.

"Baby, it must be very painful, right, it's all because your mother didn't take good care of you, your mother apologized to you and you came back, and your mother was sorry for you." I put the child in front of the cheek, I want to kiss him, I really want to kiss him, "Baby, are you angry, my mother only met you in the hospital yesterday, you ignored your mother today, are you blaming your mother for being useless." ”

My voice was like a murmur, the feeling in my hand made me feel so real, so cruel, so painful, I held my child, who was already cold, and I felt that my world might never have sunshine again.

"Zhuoyu, don't you hug him? How pitiful he is, how cold he must be to be put in such a place by a person. Juanyu, don't you hug him? I smiled and said to Zhuoyu, I wanted to laugh, but my mouth turned into crying, "Don't you think the child is so pitiful?" ”

He didn't even have a piece of clothing on him, not even a quilt, just a little white sheet, and my child was wrapped like a puppy in this broken place.

"Go back and get the child's clothes, the child doesn't even have a piece of clothing, how sad he should be." I said as I walked outside with the child in my arms, what are all the things prepared at home for? Is it to see, why not put it on for the child.

Juanyu hugged me from behind, he cried so much that he shook the mountain, he hugged me tightly, and the dropper wrapped around us.

"Xingzhu, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for you, I'm sorry for you and the child, it's okay for you to beat me and scold me, but please don't look like this."

Juanyu was apologizing to me, he was crying with tears, and he hugged me and didn't let go.

"Can you change the child back," I hugged the child tightly, I was afraid that I would accidentally hurt him again, "You can change the child back Your apology is useful, otherwise I will never forgive you in my life." ”

Juanyu just shook his head, shook his head vigorously, continued to cry, and didn't speak.

"Send me home, I want to go home, I want to go home." I broke free and walked forward, I want to take the baby home, I don't want to stay in this place, I want to go home.

Dad and Xu Wei were standing at the door, I came out and saw Xu Wei, she was still crying, she was really able to cry, she used to be the most tolerant and hated to cry, why has she changed now?

Yes, we've all changed, who would have thought that we would go from being good friends to being good sisters, and then to being in this situation again?

"Xu Wei, this is my child, look at it, he should call you aunt." I showed the child to Xu Wei, Xu Wei didn't dare to look up, where did she dare to look.

"Xingzhu, let's leave, let's leave here first." Dad came over to persuade me and gently helped me go, "Xingzhu is good, go with Dad, we're not here anymore." ”

It was eerie and cold, and every footstep echoed back and forth, and I couldn't believe they had put my kids in such a place.

"Dad, how scared the child is here, how can you put him alone in such a place."

When we got home, we chose a cemetery for the child and buried all his clothes, shoes, socks, quilts, and toys there.

A small tombstone was erected on the cemetery, with his nickname engraved on it, and I thought about it for two days before I came up with it, called Zhao'er. He is like a lamp, shining in my heart forever, engraved into my heart forever.

There was no picture on the tombstone, just because my son was not very happy with the world and had left me before he was born, so I didn't want him to see the world again.

Zhao'er, you go well, your mother will come to be a mother and son with you in the next life, and your mother will definitely protect you from being hurt in the next life.

On the day of the child's funeral, all of us went, the sky was raining slightly, I was weak and supported by the servant, Zhuoyu stood beside me, he tried to pull me several times, I avoided him again and again.

I'm afraid that I will never have anything to do with him again in my life, and burying the child is burying the last bit of affection between me and him.

Zhuoyu, from now on, I will never see you again.

Dad cried very sadly at the funeral, but I was unusually quiet, Dad, it seems that I and this child, fate is still not enough. Since he is leaving, let's send him away in peace. Daddy, don't cry.

I haven't said a word to anyone in the past few days, I silently eat, rest, silently tidy up all the children's things, I completely handed myself over to my son, I want him to go well, all the way safe, I want him to be reincarnated well, and he must not suffer again in the next life.

I buried my son with my own hands, I filled in the earth at once, I buried everything that belonged to him, I buried myself in it, I buried all the memories of me and Juanyu, all the things. From today on, from now on, I and Zhuoyu, even me and Xu Wei, we no longer have a little relationship, no longer have a little connection, I and the two of them, never see each other again.

The two people who love me the most can betray me, and the two people who trust me the most can hurt me so deeply together, what else do I have to be nostalgic for.

I finally understand why Xu Wei suddenly felt so much and missed so much, I finally understood why she always said that she wouldn't hurt me and wouldn't make me sad, and if there was something, I had to forgive her. I also understand why every time I jokingly say that Zhuo Yu has done something to be sorry for me, he overreacts, it turns out that this matter has actually been premeditated a long time ago, and they have planned it a long time ago.

You two, you're really too much of a bully, you're really too hateful.

I think the biggest mistake in my life was to trust you too much, rely on you too much, and value you too much.

I will never live for you again, and I will never think of everyone more than I am.