I get angry because of small things, I don't like to talk, I lose my temper, and I like to talk back.

Recently, it seems that everything is not going well, and I want to make friends with sincerity, but in the end, why do you lie to me?

Is it my problem? I obviously cherish them very much, but later I met a lot of people, but they are so troublesome, I can even be so bored that I won't choose to chat when I watch videos for a day, and I don't even see messages back, I can't find the previous feeling, and no one wants to pick them up piece by piece.

I have asked myself more than once, what is the meaning of being alive? I couldn't answer, no one told me how to be happy.

I get to know some friends every day, I don't want to get to know them, I feel bored, I'm afraid they will hate me because of my personality.

Is it because I can't meet someone better? I've always been a very bad person, I've always been stupid, stupid, can't speak, can't comfort, and always be sensitive.

I have appearance anxiety, and every time I am in a daze, I wonder why I can't be more handsome? I always have low self-esteem, and when others are praising me, I feel that they are sarcastic about me.

In the wee hours of the morning, I don't want to sleep, I don't play games, I don't chat, I think of the bits and pieces of the past, time really flies, in countless moments, I used to feel that I am happy, but I am not happy either, there are always problems in the relationship.

Someone asked me what the pain was? I thought of the phone calls that I couldn't get through, the questions I avoided and the responses I didn't get, the stinging words, the red and swollen eyes, the nights when I cried until I lost my voice at two or three in the morning, the unfulfilled promises and the fact that we would never see each other again, and then I decided not to dwell on these things anymore, those people who used to think about it day and night and the questions that never answered, and suddenly one day I was relieved.

People have their own feelings, many things are unreasonable, because the position is different, there is no absolute right or wrong, who is right from whose point of view, and those who are disappointed and accumulate silently learn to let go.

People who turn back frequently can't go far, I know that there will be no results, so I am not stubborn, instead of being immersed in the sorrows of the past, it is really better to bravely wave goodbye to the past, I burned all the naivety and willfulness with attachment. That wilderness slowly grew indifferent and sober, neither caring nor forgiving, and a thousand words eventually dissolved.

I don't want to force it, to be honest, I really want you to come back, I don't understand love. I'm drunk in the wee hours of the morning and thinking about what love is? Love is the days I go, it's my tossing and turning every night, love is the smoke rings around you, love is the sun shining on your face, but I forgot that love is something that can be with one mouth.

It's been too long, I remember a lot of what you said, I remember you lost your temper, I remember you crying and apologizing, I remember the love you couldn't hide when we met, and I remember those days when I couldn't love, I hope that one night, you can also send me a small composition, and you can also tell me that you are thinking about me for so long, no way, I will call you a dozen times, your cold tone makes me breathless.

During those days, I couldn't even think about it, and you seemed to be blurred in my memory, until you slowly faded out of my life. I contacted you that night after a long absence, and before that I was confident that it didn't matter, I don't care, I often regret that I didn't buy what I like to eat for breakfast, I often regret that the new clothes I bought didn't stick to the dirty things without wearing them a few times, I often regret that I changed the correct answer at the last minute of the exam, I regret pushing the people I love the most away, I regret not working harder, I regret going further and further away from my once best friend, and finally parting ways. I regret liking it but don't dare to chase it boldly, I want to do it but I can't do it bravely, and then what I want to say exists in the memo, in my eyes, in my dreams, I just don't say it.

That day, I wiped my tears and made up my mind not to tell anyone about my grievances, I knew that they would all leave in the end, but the time together was too good.

I know that I still have a lot of things to do, and I can't be so negative, but I can't do what others do to me, I keep it in mind, but I don't dare to act rashly, I'm afraid that my enthusiasm will be given to the wrong person. So, then I've been very cold, I don't have the strength to love others, so I only like you, but you don't understand, if you think I'm easy to deceive, then you lie to me, when you talk badly, have you ever thought about being together forever as you said before?

Friends say I'm in love with the brain, say I lick the dog, but no one thinks, do I really like you, I'm really not handsome, I don't know what kind of handsome? Can you still meet it? Can we meet again?

What will it be like when we get back together? I didn't think that of course I could be broad-minded, uncaring, sensible and not unreasonable, but in the end, the person you like is still not me.

When we meet again, you have changed a lot, I don't know how to talk to you, you seem to have met a boy who likes it very much, I am staring at the various social accounts you have logged out every day, you don't have me in your heart, never, in fact, I mind a lot of things, I want you to know that I am sad, I am afraid that you will annoy me, your firm attitude makes me always depressed in a moment, I don't know what to do.

I always say whatever, but there is also my helplessness, when I deliberately ignore you, I am more uncomfortable than you.

When I said cruel things, I just wanted you to coax me, and I never thought of being separated from you, but I have a hard mouth, I hate that there are a lot of people around you, and I hate that you lied to me, you tell me, you will change. However, I have never changed, I don't want to live in his shadow, all this is not going well, I don't know how to keep important people, I can't take the initiative at all.

I have a lot to say about me. I always care about other people's opinions, I am always unconfident, easily hurt, and I am afraid of losing friends, but in my interactions with people, I am often troubled by small things that make me anxious and suspicious. I often feel lonely, and although I have a lot of friends, I don't have anyone I can really talk to.

I know it's not good, but I don't know how to change it. I will also desire to be understood and accepted, and to have my own love. Emotionally, I've always been prone to getting caught up in it, but I've always been hurt. Sometimes I think about suicide and even carry out some dangerous actions, but luckily, I didn't succeed. I knew it was going to make me worse, but I didn't know how to get out of it. But I won't give up, and I don't want to dwell on the sadness and pain of the past anymore. I want to face the future bravely and find my own happiness. I know the process won't be that easy and will take a lot of effort and time, but I'll stick with it. I believe that as long as I face the reality bravely, do not run away from problems, and do not give up my dreams and beliefs easily, I will be able to get out of this dark forest and find my own light and happiness.

I will no longer dwell in the shadows of the past, nor will I make excuses for myself. I will be brave enough to face myself and everything around me, and no longer run away and retreat. I believe that as long as I don't give up on myself and don't lose confidence and courage, I will be able to overcome all difficulties and obstacles and achieve my dreams and goals. Even if one day I am no longer handsome, I will always maintain a confident and positive attitude. I will not forget everything I have been through, nor will I forget the people and things that have brought me joy and happiness.

I will live with gratitude, cherish every moment, and not let myself leave any regrets.