"You must have had a lot of interesting stories when you were a cool girl, right?"

Xiyue ignored me, she turned sideways, and after a long time, she replied lightly: "I don't want to say this, change the question." ”

I subconsciously looked at her sitting next to me with my spare eyes, I didn't know how abrupt my words were, but I had to put on a senseless posture.

Perhaps at this point, any unconscious concern will become abrupt and offensive.

And I realized my mistake of not asking her anything too private.

So I smiled again, and then asked: "There is a question I have always wanted to know, that time in Lhasa, you entrusted the general to me, and you went to Mount Everest alone, and you said that you went to find someone, but when you came back, it was like a different person, what happened to you?" ”

Xiyue was stunned, looked at me, and didn't answer.

I hurriedly said, "Don't say that you can't ask, so what else can you ask?" ”

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "I didn't say I couldn't ask this, I was thinking about how to tell you." ”

After a pause, she added, "I...... I had a boyfriend before, and I went to Everest to find him. ”

"Actually, I guessed, and then what? What happened to you, and why did you change your temperament as soon as you returned? ”

Xiyue said frankly: "He didn't know that I was going to look for him, I wanted to surprise him, but I didn't expect him to give me a scare......"

Saying that, Xiyue smiled self-deprecatingly, and continued: "I saw him with another woman, they ate and slept together, much more intimate than me. ”

"Really? This...... Why? ”

"You ask me, how do I know that men are cheap."

"No, I mean to say, you're so good, why is he looking for a junior outside?"

Xiyue said: "That woman is actually his ex, I also know it, it's just ...... I'm stupid. ”

After listening to what Xiyue said, I was really shocked.

Because in my opinion, if she can become her boyfriend, of course, she must be very good, but she has such a girlfriend, so why steal it?

I really can't figure it out, maybe there is no cat in this world that doesn't steal.

After a short silence, I said, "I remember the last time you asked me by the river, is there a shortcut in life?" At that time, I was quite curious, what does this mean? ”

Xiyue still didn't answer me directly, but smiled bitterly: "I'm sad to see his appearance." Sadly, he was not with me because he loved me, but because he gave up his self-esteem for the sake of a shortcut in his life. ”

"Can I understand that your ex-boyfriend is dependent on you?"

She still didn't answer me directly, and continued: "We are college classmates, I am a boy, and many boys are buddies. At school, there were a lot of people who pursued me, but I was always smug and didn't feel anything. Or maybe I'm an emotionally passive person! ”

She paused, then continued: "At that time, he was the only one who was the most persistent and gentle. Help me fetch food and water every day. In the winter, I would put my hand in his arms, and on days when he was there, the meals were always hot. He would make me brown sugar water during my period, and he would find a spare pen when I couldn't find it. Every birthday and festival, I will come up with tricks to surprise and move me. ”

"You say, a woman, to be able to have these, shouldn't she be satisfied? Isn't it time to be tempted? Xiyue stopped, turned her face and asked me.

"Hmm."

I nodded slightly, watching as her eyes slowly moistened.

"If he didn't care, I don't believe it myself. If he doesn't have any sincerity, I'm too pitiful. ”

Her voice was already choked, and she took a long breath before continuing: "It wasn't until I saw him and her sweetly together on Mount Everest that I finally understood that this is how things are." It's just that I lost my eyes because of the proximity before...... I found myself suddenly living with lies and deception. ”

Xiyue sighed and continued.

"It makes me miserable and angry. It's also very confusing. I began to doubt, began to recall all the doubts and clues in the past, not only doubting him at the beginning, but also doubting myself, becoming less confident, exhausting myself, and in pain. ”

It turned out that she was sad, and it turned out that she was really not as free and strong as she looked on the outside.

"If it is gentle and delicate in the past five years, I will not be moved, nostalgic, or sentimental at all. That's fake...... What makes me even more sad is that all of this is an illusion, and they are all here for a goal. His goal in life is not me, but me...... Or more precisely, my family background is nothing more than a help, a shortcut, a tool. ”

Xiyue's tears began to gush out, as if she had exerted a lot of strength, before she continued: "Or to put it another way." He has never been separated from his ex-girlfriend, and our so-called love is just his unscrupulous means to achieve his goals and develop his career. ”

"It took me five full years of youth to verify only one lie, isn't that ridiculous?"

She seemed to want to laugh at herself, but the smile she squeezed out was more ugly than crying.

I was silent, and I didn't know what to say, although I didn't have the same experience as her, we were both fallen people at the end of the world.

On a whim, I asked her, "Would you like to have a drink?" I still have my dad's fruit wine at home. ”

Xiyue nodded slightly, and I went to the storage room to find the orange wine that my dad had brewed, and poured a full bowl in a large bowl.

When I returned to the living room, I saw a lot of toilet paper in the garbage basket next to me, and then I looked at Xiyue's eyes, and it was obvious that I had just cried after I left.

But when I saw her again, she was back to her usual appearance, and she looked strong.

I poured the wine and toasted with her.

"Maybe everyone's life has a lot of unsatisfactory places." My comfort paled in comparison.

She waved her hand at me, "Don't talk about me, tell me your story." ”

I smiled and said, "What a story I have!" ”

She glanced at me and said, "If you don't want to say it, forget it, I'll open my heart, is it interesting for you to be a big man?" ”

She's said so, and it's a bit hypocritical that I'm going to twist it again.

"She and I also met in college, we were very happy, even if we were poor, but we were very satisfied with the life at that time, after graduation we also worked in the same city, we rented a house together, and lived happily every day...... In the eyes of friends and family, we were a couple who could make it to the end, but one day three years ago, we had a very ordinary argument, and since then she has disappeared from my world......"

Regarding these memories, I actually don't want to reminisce, but today I am willing to open up with Xiyue.