Make friends, make friends

Forgiveness is not only the embodiment of love, but also the sublimation of a very high ideological realm, and forgiveness is a broad realm of making friends. On the surface, it is just a decision to forgo revenge, and this view may seem negative, but true forgiveness is a positive act that requires great mental strength. Forgiveness is an essential quality, a manifestation of a correct sense of self. Only when a person knows himself correctly can he have a tolerant mind. The benefit of tolerance is the coordination and adaptation of interpersonal relationships. A well-known psychologist in China once said: "The most important thing in the adaptation of human psychology is the adaptation of interpersonal relationships, and the pathology of human psychology is mainly caused by the imbalance of interpersonal relationships." "And interpersonal dysfunction is extremely damaging to physical health, so we must learn to be tolerant.

There is an idiom in China that "if you are wide, you will win the public", although the more friends, the better, but you must make friends, make good friends, not fox friends and dog friends. At the same time, you can't let your friends fail to come to the stage and lose your friend's face, which is also an important principle of making friends. Zeng Guofan advocated being strict with oneself and lenient with friends, especially advocating that friends should be elegant, so that if there is a disagreement for a while, it will not hurt the harmony in the end. This principle is fully expressed in his letter to Ouyang Xun: "In the spring, I have received a letter and a poem from you, and I have deep affection and high expectations, some of which I dare to bear as a shallow man. However, in view of the heart you have taught me, I dare not be disrespectful. Because I am stupid and unable to seek cheer up and progress on my own, I often rely on external help to make myself constantly improve and improve, so I have always cherished friendship all my life, and I am cautious and not perfunctory. I used to think that if I was not generous enough and small-minded, I would not be able to win the virtues of the world, so I did not dare to impose a standard on others. Even a little good, a little good, if it is beneficial to me, I will absorb it widely in order to cultivate my own virtues. Those who came to inform me with righteous words and exhortations, even if they did not necessarily agree with my heart, never failed to deeply appreciate his kindness, and thought that his concern for me was very different from the general words of others. When I met with the two Chen brothers last autumn, we discussed and argued together, and six or seven out of ten of them did not agree with mine, but I still valued them very much in my heart, and thought that they were indeed outstanding figures today, and although their opinions were not entirely in line with the Dao, the key was that these were realized by themselves, unlike ordinary scholars who only obtained them from reading books and hearsay; Although their views are not necessarily perfect and free of impurities, their criticisms are realistic and can completely correct my shortcomings and deficiencies. As for the love and affection between us, there is no subtle and indescribable tacit understanding. After parting, I often miss them, and I feel that people like this are really indispensable among friends, and I dare not mix them with selfish prejudice. That's why I keep pushing myself and I can still believe in myself in general. It is necessary to make friends and praise elegance. This is Zeng Guofan's view.

"When the grievances are exhausted, it will be difficult to see the danger of the frontier." In the past, those who sang Zhang Juzheng can also use this poem to judge Zeng Guofan. At that time, his friends sang praises of virtue, we don't need to quote them one by one, just look at how Zuo Zongtang judged him! After the death of Zeng Guofan, Zuo Zongtang sent his son Xiaowei Shuyun: "Thinking of the funeral of Zeng Hou, I am very sad, not only the current situation is worrying, but also the friendship is also difficult to be relieved." Bang Lianyun: 'Knowing people's wisdom, seeking loyalty to the country, self-ashamed is not as good as Yuanfu; Concentric like gold, attacking mistakes like stones, no negative life in the phase! Gai Yidao is honest. Between the monarchs and ministers and friends, the heart should be straight, the affection should be kind, the back and front argue with each other, after each worship, that is, the manuscript is sent, it can be said that to go to the Linggu, there is no city. When I was sad, I was angry. The words "knowing the wisdom of the people, seeking the loyalty of the country" have also been played for a long time, and they have not ruined the reputation of the present. Children should know my heart. I have a national strategy with Hou, not a struggle for power. At the same time, Confucianism, vain speculation, what is worth it. Zeng Guofan has always praised Zuo Zongtang, without derogatory words, and even said: "Looking at the seventy-two states, there is no one who is out of the right." Zuo Zongtang's employment was also recommended by Zeng Guofan, but the two had different temperaments, and "the state affairs and military strategy of those who have contentions" is not a private power struggle, so they can both hold the general situation.

Confucius said: "Earnest, Yiyi is like a gentleman." "Friends criticize each other and live in harmony with each other, and they can be called scholars.

One day in February 1843, Zeng Guofan's good friend Shao Huixi counted several things to him in front of Zeng Guofan: first, he was sluggish, saying that he could not make friends for a long time and could not be respectful; the second is self-righteousness, saying that he is stubborn in reading poetry; The third is hypocrisy, saying that he can make a few faces on people.

Although Huixi's words are few, they are true, every sentence is true, straightforward, and sharp, pointing directly to Zeng Guofan's illness. Zeng Guofan wrote in his diary: Straightforward, my friend! I indulge in great evil every day without knowing it!

This incident gave Zeng Guofan a great stimulus, and he wrote in another diary: I have a snub attitude towards guests. And for such a good friend, you can't have a strict mood, and absorb the strengths of others! This is a rejection of friends thousands of miles away! This is still the case for receiving guests, and there is no need to ask about the time after leisure. What about the fireworks and meditation? O villain!

If a friend is at fault and Huixi doesn't point it out, it's Huixi's fault; The friend pointed out the fault, and Zeng Guofan did not correct it, which was Zeng Guofan's fault. Now it is a blunt statement, and a statement that it has changed its past wrongs, as Zhu Xi said in his "Notes on the Four Books": "The way to be kind to friends is also." ”

Among Zeng Guofan's mentors and friends, Li Hongzhang can also be regarded as one of his friends. This can be seen in the impeachment of Li Yuandu by Zeng Guofan.

In 1860, in order to put an end to Wang Youling's attempt to split the Hunan lineage, Zeng Guofan asked Emperor Xianfeng to transfer Li Yuandu from Wenchu Road to South Anhui Province after entering Qimen, and sent him to lead an army of 3,000 troops to Huizhou, where soldiers must fight. Less than ten days after arriving in Huizhou, Li Shixian conquered Huizhou, and Li Yuandu did not flee to the camp in Qimen, but retreated to Kaihua, Zhejiang, which was a sign that Li Yuandu was obviously inclined to Wang Youling. As for the Qimen camp, there was no sign of thinking about it behind closed doors, and he even asked for money from the grain station without authorization, and returned to Hunan without authorization. This made Zeng Guofan remorseful and determined to impeach him for the crime of losing Huizhou in order to renew military discipline. Zeng Guofan's move was understandable, but the civil and military counselors opposed it en masse, accusing Zeng Guofan of being ungrateful. Li Hongzhang "led a scene of people to fight", claiming that "if the fruit is impeached, the protégé will not dare to draft it." Zeng Guofan said: "I belong to the manuscript. Li Hongzhang said: "If this is the case, the protégé will also resign, and he cannot stay." Zeng Guofan said angrily: "Listen to the king's convenience." ”

Later, Li Hongzhang left Qimen in a bad mood, tossed and turned, and wanted to return to Zeng's disciples, but Zeng Guofan was generous and tolerant, and wrote a letter to implore Li Hongzhang to return to the camp to help.

Once, when Li Hongzhang was talking freely with Zeng Guofan, he bluntly pointed out that his weakness was cowardice, that is, timidity and poor efficiency, and these two words portrayed Zeng Guofan's fatal shortcomings in three parts.

Zeng Guofan has friends like Shao Huixi and Li Hongzhang, as well as close friends like Wu Zhuru, which is also an important reason why Zeng Guofan's virtue can continue to grow.

One day in February 1843, Wu Zhuru had a heart-to-heart conversation with Zeng Guofan, talking about his lifelong dealings, and promised Zeng Guofan as a confidant, he said: "All the ancient sayings that Your Excellency has promised with expectations, believing it is enough to breed your self-righteous selfish thoughts, and not believing it is afraid that it will disappoint your true feelings of knowing and promising each other, so I have to be afraid from beginning to end." "A few words, not angry, not angry, not angry, every word is like a thousand pounds. Zeng Guofan immediately wrote down his feelings:

After listening to Wu Zhuru's words, I sweated terrified, and Zhuru's respect for me was simply to restrain the gods in my heart. What morality can I afford? has been comfortable and presumptuous for days, how can he become Zhuru's confidant? It's really a defilement of bamboo! Because Zeng Guofan made friends in the world with nobility and elegance, he never demanded from others, but treated people with sincerity.

The key to a person's success or failure lies in whether he can transform the human resources that are closely related to him into his own resources, and transform the abilities of others into his own abilities. Zeng Guofan is a person who is good at turning other people's abilities into his own use.

As early as the beginning of the group training, Zeng Guofan released the "Recruiting a Certain Gentleman and Senior Citizen" to recruit people into the game:

"I have been instructed to assist in the training of the regiment and to inspect and arrest the bandits, and since I have accepted the assignment, I have been worried day and night, lest there be mistakes, and that I am not well-informed and ill-conceived, so I have diligently sought that the sages of my hometown will not dislike me, and will come to my aid generously, so that I may adopt the opinions of the people widely and listen carefully to the opinions in order to remedy my omissions. Therefore, I often send letters to invite people out of the mountain, or warmly welcome guests, recruit heroes and heroes, and consult Gao Jianfa. …… The building cannot be supported by a single tree, and the great cause is completed by the wisdom of many people. If a large number of wise men can be brought together and take care of each other, then even a solid golden stone can penetrate, and what difficulty cannot be overcome? ”

Zeng Guofan said to his younger brother: Ask others to help you, and you must not forget these truths at all times. Getting talent is the most difficult, in the past, some people were my staff, and I just treated them equally, and I didn't respect them very much, but today, it seems that these people are so rare. You should always make it an important task to seek talent, and those who are incompetent, even close friends, should not stay for long, mainly because they are afraid that talented people will not want to work with them.

Later, Zeng Guofan led the troops to the expedition, and the officials went to the governors and governors, and paid more attention to recruiting talents from time to time. Not only himself, but also his brother. He said in the letter "To Brother Yuan" that people who achieve great things should choose more assistants as the first priority. If you are satisfied, you can't choose it, just choose a little worse, and you can educate him slowly. That is to say, we must always pay attention to caged people, and we can't stop using people because we don't have something very desirable.

And for those talented people, Zeng Guofan, no matter when, once he learns about it, he will do everything possible to gather them and use them for his own use, such as Guo Yicheng.

Guo Yicheng, the word Kuntao, a famous Confucian in Hunan Province. Because of his literary talent, during the years of Xianfeng and Tongzhi, all the elders of Zhongxing had friendly relations with him, and they all wanted to recruit him to their own scenes. But Guo Yicheng loves his wife very much, and he never stays away, so he always can't give up.

Zeng Guofan also appreciates Guo Yicheng's talent the most. In order to lure him out to help him, he once sent a book to ridicule Guo. In the book: "Knowing the nature of the male elk, it is unbearable, please deign to come for a while and serve everything." And walk with the immortals, when the people sweep the couch to help. Guo Yicheng was convinced of Zeng Guofan, and immediately rushed to the Hunan military camp to see Zeng Guofan, but he did not accompany the immortals. Therefore, Zeng Guofan ordered him to return quickly, and wrote a book: "When the swallow goose is waiting to fly, and the mandarin duck has no solitary stay, this is also feasible." Guo Yicheng got the book and laughed it off. But he accepted Zeng Guofan's invitation and decided to come out to serve.

It is said that Guo Yicheng did a good job under the curtain of Zeng Guo's domain, and became Zeng's right-hand man, and many letters were written by Guo. Zeng also cared for him, or granted him leave, let him go home more often, or ordered him to bring his wife to them, so as not to affect their marital life. In 1858, Guo Yicheng took leave at home for a period of time, but did not return to the camp in time for some reason, and Zeng Guofan sent several letters in a row urging him to return quickly. On June 4, 1858, Zeng Guofan said in the "Letter to Brother Cheng": "Both public and private letters and sincerity can be cooked", which shows Zeng Guofan's trust in Guo Yicheng.

Zeng Guofan is like this, he always does not forget to ask others to help himself. Only by never forgetting can we seize the opportunity, have the skills to cage people, and attract talents that others can't recruit to support the glory of the career.

There are many people, after encountering setbacks, instead of looking for ways to overcome difficulties, they attribute all the reasons to others and like to be angry with others.

Being angry with others can only bring obstacles to one's own interpersonal communication, and it is not good for eliminating difficulties. Therefore, overcoming setbacks should first think of being kind to others.

The root causes of frustration caused by social adversity are man-made. What should be done to those who are deliberately putting obstacles in their way? Is it to be haunted and regarded as an eternal enemy? Or is it tolerant and generous, turning hostility into friendship? It should be the latter.

Tolerance is not a concession to a matter of principle, but a tolerance and understanding of some unprincipled shortcomings and faults of others. Forgiveness may seem like a contradiction, but if intolerance and harm can only lead to a vicious circle of retribution, then there will be the consequence of "when is the time for retribution". At the same time, people who refuse to forgive others often suffer from insomnia, gastrointestinal upset, and even high blood pressure. However, once they forgive others, they rise above a great setback—a process of spiritual purification that can be called regeneration. Of course, forgiveness can only be best effected if the person who has been hurt has time to deal with their anger, to recognize their responsibility for the whole incident and the consequences of refusing to forgive.

There are plenty of adults

As the saying goes, "adults have a lot" and "the prime minister can hold the boat in his belly", which refers to his mind and bearing. The higher the position, the greater the magnanimity should be, and the two are directly proportional. Zeng Guofan liked to read "Zizhi Tongjian" the most, and he admired the prime ministers of the Tang Dynasty very much, thinking that they all had minds, so the country was lucky. He summed up the difference between the founding prime minister and the Zhongxing prime minister, and believed that the former must be far-sighted, big-minded, and magnanimous. Prime Minister ZTE focused on specific affairs, step by step, steadily. Zeng Guofan also paid special attention to the fact that the great losers throughout the ages, including those heroes, were also defeated because they could not "subdue the dragon and subdue the tiger", that is, they could not control themselves and had no bearing.

There are always some unpleasant things in life that happen from time to time; However, in order to acquire a successful character, it is necessary to overcome the psychology of being burdened by these small things, and to focus on the big things and show heroism everywhere. Zeng Guofan said to his close friends: The character of success is all in the heroic atmosphere; Otherwise, it will be ruined by the entanglement of small things. So what is "heroism is necessary to become a great tool"? Of course, "becoming a big man" is to acquire a successful character.

Let's talk about this in a comparative way.

Zeng Guofan advocated three kinds of "heroism". The first is the fortitude in the battle: Zeng Guofan's resolute character was fully demonstrated when he was trapped in Qimen. In 1860, Zeng Guofan was stationed in Qimen. At that time, there were ten rooms and nine empty rooms in the north and south of Anhui, from Jinling to Huizhou for more than 800 miles, and there was no Taiping army everywhere, and there was not a day without a battle. When Huizhou had just fallen, Hugh and Qi were shocked. Some people persuaded Zeng Guofan to move the military camp to another place, he said: "I first entered the army, and when I encountered danger, I retreated, what will happen in the future?" If I get one step out of here, there will be no place to die? "What stubbornness! When the enemy arrived, they besieged on all sides. He wrote his will, hung his saber on the tent, and calmly arranged to meet the enemy, without changing his usual attitude. After defending for more than 20 days, Bao Chao was recruited to fight together and drove the enemy army out of the ridge. His aides once summed up: With the arrogant "enemy army" that has been jointly killed unsuccessfully for more than 10 years, Zeng Guofan's leadership of the army for four years has been wiped out in turn, and it is all because of his stubbornness and lack of cowardice at the beginning of Qimen that he was able to make the enemy frightened and boost the morale of our army.

The second is patience: Zeng Guofan lacked patience with Zeng Guoquan, and said: "The four-character banner of "It is difficult to help the wind and waves" has been returned intact, and I am very happy. The ancient heroes all took these four words as a great forbidden. Our grandfather taught people, and he also regarded the four words of cowardice and weakness as a great shame. Therefore, a man must have a stubborn manly spirit when he stands up and acts, only tens of thousands of people are trapped in the city, and morale is the most likely to be depressed, and the younger brother can inspire the strength of tens of thousands of people and not let it be depressed for a long time, which is where you are smarter than others, and you should work hard in these places. Zeng Guofan encouraged his friend Feng Shutang and others with "patience", and after he learned that Feng Shutang was trapped in the field house by heavy rain because of taking the exam, he wrote a poem: But he laughed at the group and was afraid to cry and mourn.

The husband should be stubborn, although there are hardships, there is no worry about guessing.

I am lying high on my knees today, and the deep eaves are magnificent!

The snoring of the day answers the thunderstorm, and the remnants of the first rest and return to the dream.

Isn't it a celebration to sleep and eat, and to smell the joy of giving birth to a bad baby.

Shujun has not yet strengthened his teeth, and he can temper his muscles and bones.

The third is to be frank and open-minded: Zeng Guofan emphasized that people should not be rigid, he said: As for the spirit of perseverance, it must not be without, but perseverance is different from rigidity. The ancients said: self-victory is strong. It is said that it is compulsory, it is said that it is forgiving, and it is said that it is strong, and it is good to be strong, all of which mean self-victory. If you are not accustomed to getting up early, and you are forced to get up before dawn; not accustomed to solemnity and respect, but compulsory participation in sacrificial ceremonies; Not accustomed to hard work, but forced to share weal and butter with the soldiers, industrious and tireless, this is strong. Not accustomed to perseverance, but forcing oneself to be firm and persistent, this is perseverance. If you don't do this, you will win with momentum, which is rigidity. The two are similar on the surface, but in fact there is a world of difference, which must be ignored and not disrespected. Zeng Guofan's combination of generosity and anger, tolerance and stubbornness in his life is so appropriate, and he distinguishes between fortitude and fortitude so clearly, which can really be described as a model in life.

Zeng Guofan also listed the size of the measurement as another important yardstick to distinguish the gentleman and the villain. He said: The so-called villain sees the little ear and measures the little ear. "Causing kings and ministers, friends, fathers and sons, brothers, and husbands and wives" are all measured and easy to be suspicious. The gentleman is not, if he is broadly knowledged, the world is big, and he is abandoned; Yao Shun's industry is regarded as a floating cloud. If you are magnificent, you can't do it, but you ask for yourself. Zeng Guofan took this as an important guiding ideology for dealing with interpersonal relationships.

Restraint in disregard of right and wrong is a common phenomenon that is most likely to cause mutual revenge and enmity. When faced with such situations, Tsang handled them with the spirit of being grand and seeking self-seeking. In 1862, he had a dispute with Shen Baozhen, the governor of Jiangxi, over the distribution of centigold, and Shen wanted to withhold the centijin of the Hunan army for his own use. In addition to the two sides reporting to the imperial court for ruling, Zeng Guofan dissected himself in this way: Because of the deliberate constraints of the Jiangxi feudal division in the day, his heart was angry. However, thinking carefully about the ancients' affairs, the constraints, and the end of the rebellion, there are things in the world. Everyone will inevitably hate their rebellion, and they will want to punish those who disagree with them, and the behavior of powerful ministers; Those who listen to their rebellion and move their hearts and endure, compromise, and worry about themselves without being invincible to foreign troubles, are also the intentions of the sages. I can borrow the brush of people to rebelliously sharpen my virtue with a grinding stone, and its cousin is almost! At that time, Zeng Guofan was in charge of the military affairs of the four provinces, including Jiangxi, as the minister of the Qin Mission and the governor of Liangjiang, and the governor was also included in his "moderation". Although the matter was finally decided by the imperial court, its spirit of strict self-blame was undoubtedly valuable. Only with this spirit can it be easier to cooperate sincerely with others and achieve great things in the world.

Ancient China has always admired those who are broad-minded and generous, and the so-called "prime minister can hold the boat in his belly" is to say this. Zeng Guofan's emphasis on "broad knowledge" and "grand degree" at the same time, but also did not ignore the role of stubbornness and backbone of successful character quality, which is a kind of deep-level cultivation.

Those who do not make good use of others are mediocre

Friends should be made to those who are honest and sincere, and those who are "loyal, righteous and bloody" should naturally be selected when selecting generals and soldiers. Judging from the selection criteria stipulated by Zeng Guofan, the selection system of the Hunan army is relatively strict, which can be roughly summarized into five aspects: first, loyalty, righteousness and blood; the second is to be honest and honest; the third is simple and simple; fourth, wisdom and intelligence; Fifth, perseverance and hard work.

Zeng Guofan put "loyalty, righteousness and blood" in the first place in the selection of generals. The so-called "loyalty, righteousness and blood" means that the generals of the Hunan army are required to swear allegiance to the Qing Dynasty, consciously maintain the feudal ruling order based on the three outlines and five constants, and have the will to stubbornly resist the rebellious peasants to the end. He said: "A brave person must first be able to govern the people, the second must not be afraid of death, the third must not be anxious for fame and fortune, and the fourth must endure hardship." The talent of governing the people is not the three words of grandfather and diligence. If the injustice is not clear, please be brave and dissatisfied; If you are not diligent, the business will be very small, and you will not be cured. So the first priority is here. If you are not afraid of death, you will be the first in battle, and the soldiers can still serve their lives, so they are second. Those who are weak will get sick if they are overworked; Those who lack spirit will be dispersed after a long time, so it is secondary. The four seem to be too prepared, and one of them must not be brave, and there is probably loyalty and righteousness, then the four follow each other, and without loyalty and blood, it seems that the four cannot be trusted. The selection of those who have "loyalty, righteousness and blood" as generals can play an exemplary role for the entire army, and "seek from each other with likeness, lead each other with qi, and get a few of them and reach the rest", so that the whole army can be driven to be loyal to the feudal rule, so that this emerging army, the Hunan army, not only has the ability to suppress the peasant uprising, but also has the political function of "shifting the style of the world."

Zeng Guofan emphasized that "honesty is the use". Regarding the words "incorruptible" and "clear", he explained: "Ben Yong is not a general of the battalion, he does not ask for anything deeply, but whether the silver money is clean or not, and whether it should be guaranteed or not, then everyone is watching, so as to serve each other, everyone smacks it, and ridicules each other." Only in the incorruptible, with private access to money, so that the camp to see and hear, clean line, has long been to serve the brave heart, and small rewards, and often lenient, so that the following people will always get moistened and anointed, then the benefit is enough to make people. Ming one word, the first on the occasion of the battle, see a certain Ben Department charged, a certain Ben Department then helped, a certain Ben back to block, a certain Ben to see the danger to avoid first, one by one to see clearly, and prove that it is to do things on weekdays of the lazy and virtual, detailed assessment, for a long time, although a brave and a husband of the length of the virtuous or not, all to know its strategy, then gradually more than clear. ”

"Honesty" is an extremely sensitive issue for the military. The phenomenon of the Green Battalion generals deducting military salaries and taking shortfalls in order to enrich themselves has long been an open act of corruption. This was deeply dissatisfied with the soldiers and seriously affected the combat effectiveness of the troops. Then, if Zeng Guofan wants to be different from the newly formed army, he must attach great importance to the issue of selecting generals, because it is directly related to the combat effectiveness of the Hunan army.

"Ming" means that the generals should be clear about rewards and punishments, and there is no confusion about right and wrong. "People see its near, I see its distance", said Gaoming; "People see its coarseness, I see its fineness", said shrewd. For ordinary generals, they are required to be "shrewd", while for senior generals, they are required to be smart, so that they can be far-sighted.

Zeng Guofan repeatedly stressed that generals should have the qualities of "honesty" and "clarity," and this played an extremely important role in improving the relationship between officials and soldiers and enhancing combat effectiveness.

Third, select generals and select "simple and simple" people. Zeng Guofan had an extremely deep understanding of the corrupt atmosphere of the Green Battalion officers, who were opportunistic and opportunistic, and catered to the corrupt atmosphere of the drill battalion, and he deeply felt that it was difficult to change the accumulated habits. "The country has raised more than 500,000 green battalion soldiers, and what has been spent in the past 200 years. At the beginning of today's catastrophe, there is no soldier enough for the first war, but the official spirit is too heavy, the heart is too much, the simplicity is scattered, and its meaning is ruined", Zeng Guofan sighed from the heart: even if "King Yue is resurrected, or can be exchanged for the bones of the soldiers; The resurrection of Confucius is difficult to change the habit of camping". In order to fundamentally solve this problem, Zeng Guofan stipulated that, on the one hand, the Hunan army did not need to be in the green battalion soldiers and garrison officers who had been in the camp for a long time; On the other hand, he stressed that the selection of generals should focus on "simplicity". The so-called "simplicity" refers to down-to-earth, unofficial, and not exaggerated. Zeng Guofan was selected and entrusted with a large number of "simple" people, which was extremely effective in improving the combat effectiveness and endurance of the Hunan army.

Fourth, "wisdom and strategic knowledge" is another criterion for Zeng Guofan's selection of generals. Zeng Guofan believed: "When choosing generals, we must seek people with far-reaching wisdom, and we must not choose redundant people." He pointed out: "Those who are redundant, although they are close friends, should not stay for a long time, and I am afraid that the sages do not want to work with one side." "Zeng Guofan strives to select talents from among scholars. With the help of their knowledge, they worked hard to overcome the shortcomings of the Green Battalion generals' lack of strategy.

Fifth, the generals of the Hunan army are also required to have the characteristics of "perseverance and hard work."

The above five aspects are the five methods used by Zeng Guofan to use his power to inspect his subordinates.

Zeng Guofan believes that what the world is afraid of is not that there is no talent, but that those who use talent cannot use talent correctly. Historically, it has been those who are good at spotting and using talent that have succeeded in the end. There are many, many historical facts on this aspect.

During the Warring States Period, the ruling uncle of Wei was seriously ill, and King Hui of Wei came to visit him and said to his uncle: "In case you die, how can I arrange the affairs of the state?" Uncle Gong replied: "There is a man named Gongsun Marting, who can entrust him with major state affairs." But if you don't want to use it, kill him. so as not to be used by other countries and endanger our country. On the way back, King Hui said disapprerovantly: "Uncle Gong is such a talented person, let me hand over the military and political power to Gongsun Ying, it's too confused." After King Hui left, Gongsun Ying came to serve Uncle Acne, and Uncle Acne told Gongsun Ying what he had said to King Wei Hui, but Gongsun Ying ignored it. Soon the uncle died of acne, and King Hui did not reuse the Gongsun martingale. Some people know that Gongsun Martingale once suggested to King Hui that if he did not reuse it, he would get rid of Gongsun Marting, and persuaded Gongsun Martingale to flee quickly, but Gongsun Martingale still devoted himself to dealing with Uncle Acne's funeral. Someone asked him, "Aren't you afraid that King Hui will kill you?" He replied, "If the king does not listen to my uncle's words and uses me again, how can he listen to him and kill me?" Gongsun Yinghou fled to the Qin State, was reused by the Qin State, changed the law to become strong, and laid the foundation for the later Qin unification of the Six Kingdoms.

Therefore, Zeng Guofan's saying "although there are talents, they are not suitable for use, and they do not catch mediocrity", which can be described as a wise saying.

Choosing friends is the number one thing in life

One more good friend will give you one more wise mind. A person's successful personality is a contest of wisdom, so choose friends well. Zeng Guofan's purpose in choosing friends is very clear: not only to make himself successful, but also to let everyone succeed.

If people make good friends in their lives, they can share weal and woe and temper each other, which can not only become emotional comfort, but also become the cornerstone of career success. On July 20, 1864, Zeng Guofan wrote a letter to his second son, Zeng Jihong, saying that choosing friends is the first thing in life, and you must choose people with lofty interests.

Zeng Guofan's life experience can be said to be his life experience of making friends. His meritorious service, speech, and virtue can also be said to have been achieved under the mutual tempering and influence of friends. Therefore, he deeply understood the importance of choosing friends in life. Therefore, whether it is in life, study, or career, we always pay attention to making friends. This point has been fully reflected in his 13 years of life in the capital.

In the letters he wrote to his family, he introduced some of the friends he made at that time: now that he has more friends, the more people who talk about his experience in bowing and doing, including Mr. Tang Jinghai, Wu Ren's predecessors, and Wu Zhuru, Dou Lanquan, and Feng Shutang; Those who are poor in scripture and reasoning include Wu Zixu and Shao Huixi; Those who learn the text and are proficient in the Tao will have what Zizhen; is talented and unrestrained, then there is Tang Haiqiu; Heroic and compelling, ambitious and quiet, there is Huang Zishou. There are also Wang Shaohe, Zhu Lianfu, Wu Xinshe, and Pang Zuoren, these four monarchs, all heard the famous name and came to worship first. Although there is a depth of creation, it is necessary to meet people with lofty ideals who are not willing to live in mediocrity! Jingshi is a humanistic scholar, if you don't ask for it, you don't have it, the more you ask, the more you come out, I have heard a lot of friends recently, I don't want to go to worship people first, I'm afraid that the disciples flaunt their false voices; Gai begged to be against Kuang's own inadequacy, this great benefit also! Flaunting a false name is a big loss! The friends he made had a significant impact on his personal influence and the development of his career.

Liu Chuanying, a native of Hanyang, Hubei, specializes in ancient scriptures and is proficient in research. Through his association with Liu Chuanying, Zeng Guofan greatly made up for the shortcomings of his ancient characters. In 1846, Zeng Guofan was recuperating in Baoguo Temple in the south of the city, so he asked him for advice on ancient scriptures and evidence. Liu Chuanying also asked Zeng Guofan for advice because he was only accomplished in ancient literature and classics. So, the two learned from each other, learned from each other's strengths, and became close friends. Through his association with Liu Chuanying, Zeng Guofan expanded his knowledge and embarked on the road of all-round development in the academic field. In a letter to his fellow villager Liu Rong, he expressed his academic opinions and aspirations, saying: Yu Han and Song "want to take advantage of the strengths of both, see the Tao is both deep and broad, and there is no fatigue for the restoration of literature." Regardless of the portal, learning from each other's strengths has always been the direction of success.

He Shaoji, whose name is Zizhen, is proficient in calligraphy and good at chanting. In his dealings with Zeng Guofan, he felt that He Shaoji's strength was his own shortcomings. From then on, he attached great importance to writing and writing poems.

In addition, he often discussed science with Wu Tingdong, He Guizhen and others, and asked Shao Yichen for advice on modern literature and classics.

These friends are quite famous in the capital. His association with them not only increased his knowledge, but also greatly increased Zeng Guofan's personal prestige in the capital. In his letter to his family, he said that he "used to be quite hopeful in Beijing". This is also the reason why he quickly made a fortune in the capital.

While Zeng Guofan made new friends, he also paid great attention to contacting old friends with like-minded friends. During this period, the main people who were relatively similar in academic views and ideas were Liu Rong, Guo Songtao, Jiang Zhongyuan, Ouyang Zhaoxiong, and Luo Zenan.

Liu Rong, the word Meng Rong, the number Xiaxian, is a native of Xiangxiang, Hunan. Guo Songtao's character Yunxian is a native of Xiangyin, Hunan. Zeng Guofan met Liu Rong in Changsha on the way to Beijing for the scientific expedition, and through Liu Rong, he met Guo Songtao, who was participating in the township test in Changsha, so the three of them "happily had a party for Kundi".

Jiang Zhongyuan, the word Minqiao, Hunan Xinning people. In Beijing, through Guo Songtao's introduction, he met Zeng Guofan. After the conversation, Jiang Zhongyuan said goodbye, and Zeng Guofan said to Guo Songtao: "If you are a person, you will make meritorious contributions to the world, and then you should die with righteousness." At that time, everyone was very suspicious. Liu Rong praised Jiang Zhongyuan, "He has faith in making friends, sharing joys and hardships with soldiers, always putting others first in battle, and he can really rely on life and death." In his dealings with Zeng Guofan, he was cited as a good friend with blood, courage and knowledge. Zeng Guofan praised him as "Confucian and chivalrous". In the future, Jiang Zhongyuan really became the main cadre of the Hunan army.

Luo Zenan, the word Zhongyue, the name Luoshan, and Zeng Guofan are from the same county. His family is very poor, but he can "drown in studying, and when there is no oil lamp at night, he reads the scroll under the moon, and sleeps in the open when he is tired." His moral knowledge was called a number of figures at the time. He studied Cheng Zhu Lixue and advertised himself as a Song Confucian. When he was young, he suffered a series of misfortunes, accompanied by the loss of his mother, brother and sister-in-law, and then the death of his eldest son, second son, and third son, and his wife cried for the death of his third son, and lost his sight. Luo Zenan did not collapse because of this painful blow, but "benefited from himself, did not worry about the family, and worried that what he learned could not be promoted and sanctified; Don't worry about having no skills to make a living, and worry about no skills to help the world". Therefore, Zeng Guofan respected him very much. often expressed his admiration in his letters, calling him Yan Yuan of his hometown. Later, as a Confucian scholar, he led the army to fight and became famous in the world. Yan Yuan, that is, Yan Hui, a student of Confucius, came from a poor family, never became an official in his life, lived in a simple alley, ate with bamboo slips, drank water with melon scoops, but enjoyed himself.

Ouyang Zhaoxiong, the word Xiaocen, is a native of Xiangtan, Hunan. In 1840, Zeng Guofan fell ill in Wanshun Inn in Guozi Lane, was seriously ill and bedridden, but fortunately met Ouyang Zhaoxiong, and under his careful care, he did not die. Since then, the two have become good friends.

The friends Zeng Guofan made played an important role in his life and career. Among them, there are those who give him advice, there are those who appreciate and promote, and there are those who stick knives in both sides when they are in danger. From all angles, his career is underpinned. Therefore, he realized more deeply than others: "Choosing friends is the first thing in life." ”

The importance of this issue is illustrated by today's society, and the friendships he formed during his secondary school and college years played an incalculable role when each of us began to enter society and start his own business. The deep friendship not only opened the door to unusual opportunities for him, but also greatly increased his popularity.

In other words, his abilities have also expanded many times thanks to the help of numerous friends. He seems to possess a magical power, able to obtain the selfless and enthusiastic support of his friends in any endeavor, who always seem to be wholeheartedly promoting his interests.

Few people have properly assessed the role of friends in their careers. The vast majority of successful people believe that they stand out because of their own outstanding talents, because of their own hard work. They always talk about their achievements. They attribute their success entirely to their own intelligence, intelligence, shrewdness, hard work, and initiative. They don't realize that their many friends are just as ubiquitous as unpaid businessmen, who will be of service and help to their business at any given time.

Colden once said, "True friendship, like health, is worth only when it is lost." ”

Also, the personalities and positions of your friends will have a huge impact on your life.

Here, we try to give you a prescription to prevent withdrawn personalities: when choosing friends, you must establish the principle that you must choose as many people as possible who are better than you and who are one step ahead in all aspects. It's important to make an effort to associate with people you admire and admire, not to make friends with people who are more financially wealthy, but to people who are highly literate, well-educated, and have a wider range of sources of information. Only by associating with such people can you absorb as much nourishment as possible that will help you grow and develop. And in the process of contacting them, you will gradually improve your ideals, pursue more ambitious goals, and put in greater efforts so that you can one day become a strong person as well. Of course, we want you to get out of your withdrawn personality and become a master of making friends!