People are born like blank paper; And how you want to paint or write in the end is mostly up to your thoughts, but before you have such thoughts; There will be people who can guide you first. under what kind of family environment and education; No one will be perfect; It's like an extremely delicate work being appreciated by both the elegant and the vulgar. I'm on a variety show; I heard Mr. Huang Lei say such a sentence: "If your views and works can be approved by everyone, then how mediocre you are!" "I think so; It is precisely because of the characteristics and bad habits of each person that there is a basis for distinguishing the people around them. I'm going to talk about the characteristic; There is really nothing to talk about, and if you insist on saying it, you are lazy; It's too lazy to be sociable! So what I like is to talk as little as possible. So much so that every time I communicate with people, I always have some idioms mixed in, because one idiom can represent a few words, which saves a lot of trouble.

To talk about bad habits; Some of them will talk about it. In fact, after each stage of self-realization; You'll get rid of some of them more or less, but soon you'll inadvertently get into other bad habits, and the cycle repeats. And I have been ashamed and offended many people because of these bad character habits; The most interesting and unforgettable, but the most alarming thing for me is the time when I got along with Que Fukang and Que Fucong. In fact, they had just moved downstairs not long ago; We gradually got into a mess. I even hung the statue of the God of Wealth in front of my family, and divided the cake into three pieces with water and wine. During the summer vacation; My aunt's second son, my cousin Jianjian, came to my house to play, and I took him downstairs with me. At that time, the parents of the Que Fukang brothers were both migrant workers; It was their grandfather who was in charge of taking care of their daily life. Grandpa's gentle tone always gives people a kind feeling, and after getting along for a long time, I also changed my name from "Grandpa Que Fukang" to "Gong" like them. The four of us get together for the most frequent amusement is playing cards, watching ghost movies and cartoons. I don't know where they got so many ghost DVDs at that time; When I was a child, I was very afraid of ghosts, because after every time I watched it; Lying in bed at night, I will unconsciously think about those pictures, resulting in high energy and finally insomnia. But it's the kind of character that doesn't dare to look and wants to see it; If you want to say why ghost movies have such a shocking thriller effect, a large part of it should be due to the horror soundtrack that sets off the atmosphere. So every time you bring me to watch it, it will be muted first. But they couldn't stand the fact that they had watched the disc many times before; Spoilers for my affection. So before a movie arrives at the horror screen; I've been scared by them. This happy time made our lives more fulfilling, until our family began to raise sheep; It's not so inseparable. But that's not the real thing that really affects our relationship; After all, we can still play together at school. And what made me gradually change my temperament was in the days when my sheep herding life was coming to an end; It was also when I first came into contact with computer games.

It was a friend I met by chance named Tao Tao. At that time, when most families were not very wealthy, Tao Tao was one of the few families in our village who had installed computers. It is said that his computer cost more than 10,000 yuan for a set of processes, and his toys are several grades higher than those of us ordinary family children. I remember it seemed like a week's weekend; Tao Tao suddenly ran home from the side of the road. Looking at his passing figure, out of curiosity, I asked him what was so anxious. He didn't say what it was, he just asked me to go back with him. Chasing his back all the way back to his house, Taotao's shoes were ready to rush into the room before they were completely taken off. Look at his monkey eagerness from beginning to end; I was also a little puzzled in my heart, and gently helped him to bring the door; So they went to the room together. At first glance, I was attracted by the LCD screen on the desk, which was much larger than the size of the school's multimedia classroom. I can't help but sigh in my heart: It's really worthy of a big family. Although by chance, I saw a computer once in a multimedia class at school; But because the control screen can't be operated at all. I have to say that the configuration of Taotao's home computer is really not low, and the boot speed is much faster than the school computer; It's also smoother. After clicking into the browser; From the moment I entered the official website of the mini game, I got acquainted with the first game in my life: Cell. the cool appearance of the elves inside; It was also a relatively high-class fighting effect in the small games at that time. Completely captivated me; By now, I have forgotten the names of most of the elves in it, except that there were two lords at that time, namely Rey and Gaia; When you see them fighting when you are doing a task, you think it must be very powerful; I've dreamed of having them for a long time, and I didn't expect there to be such a fun game on this computer.

Since that day has passed; I would often go to Tao Tao's house to see if he was playing computer games. Although Taotao's family conditions are very good, his parents are strict. Most of the time; All control the time he plays with the computer. In order to cover up the origin, even if Taotao is not in front of the computer, I will deliberately stay there to play with toys with him; Although sometimes it's also boring to play. I've been taken away by computer games, even though I've returned to my old home; I seldom interacted with them anymore. The days of running back and forth to Taotao's house did not last long; Finally ushered in my good days. In the days when I was in the middle of the summer vacation in my fourth grade; My brother was also admitted to a second university. My mother promised my brother that as long as he could be admitted to university; I promised to install a computer for him. In my image; It was supposed to be one afternoon, without my knowledge at all; My mother and brother took me to the computer shop in the village. Looking at their long conversation, I didn't really stop what they said; I can only sit on the stool and wait stupidly. I didn't come back with anything after leaving the store that day; I didn't expect anything, but I thought that my mother asked about the current price of computers when she was chatting with the owner of the computer sales point.

But surprises always happen when you don't expect them; On the third day after going to the computer sales point, I came home from school as usual. The door to the house is not locked; I could hear the subwoofer coming from the stereo in my brother's room at the door. As I walked to the door of the room curiously looking for the sound, the joy of the surprise in front of me instantly filled my body. In the corner next to the window of the room, a new computer appeared out of nowhere; The elder brother propped his hands in front of the computer desk, as if he was debugging the settings in the system. The bezel of the display is completely blacked; The size doesn't look as big as Taotao's house; But for me, just being able to play computer games is content. I didn't even bother dragging my school bag; Immediately stepped forward, half-pushing and half-coquettishly begging my brother to let me play a game for a while. Very skillfully opened the Cell; In the past, I was at Taotao's house, and I usually waited for his number to reach the game limit, and then occasionally logged on to my game account and helped me do two simple tasks; Now I can finally play freely. The thought of having such a life in the future is like coming to heaven. That night; Because I am not familiar with most of the operations of the computer, I just know how to open the Cell. And my brother was still playing music on his computer before he left. Although I fumbled for a while; I finally found a place to turn off the music, but I couldn't find a place to adjust the volume at all. until late at night; The entire building is enveloped in the soundtrack of the Cell's fights; It was deafening, but fortunately the neighbors did not come up and knock on the door. But after a long time, I was immersed in the world of the game; There was no sleepiness at all, and in the end, it was under the repeated urging and coercion of my mother; Then he reluctantly closed the computer and lay on the bed, and his mind was full of images from the Cell.

Originally, this computer was brought to school by my brother when he started school; But when it came to the day of reporting to school, I don't know why I didn't bring it. But it happened to be me at home; Missing the only person who grabbed the computer with me made me more free-wheeling. I can't listen to the teacher's content in class anymore; The heart has long since flown home to the computer. Homework assigned by the teacher; I always finish in other classes as well. Multiple choice questions and true/false questions are all based on Meng; Fill-in-the-blank questions and application questions are also scribbled, just to cope. As long as you don't miss out on playing computer games after school, you can do whatever the rest. At that time, the Que Fukang brothers didn't know that my family had bought a computer, but they used to get out of school every time; The three of us would be waiting for each other to go home together; The sudden unconventional behavior surprised them a little. Actually, I didn't plan to tell them at first, because I couldn't play enough by myself; If you bring them up, won't you give them some of your playing time? Thinking about it, there are ten thousand unwillingness.

But how can it be concealed all the time with a matter in front of you? And between their brothers; The first to know was naturally Que Fukang. Speaking of reasons; I don't have many images in my head to fill in. It seems to be in the hallway after school class one day; I don't know why I had a little conflict with him; At first, we were just talking, and we didn't know who was angry and started first, so the two of us scuffled together; It was the first time we'd done it in a long time, and the last time we'd done it so far. After the shot; The two of us are talking about the cruel words of old age and death that do not get along with each other. It wasn't until the class bell rang that he returned to his position with a red face. We didn't speak for the rest of the afternoon, perhaps because we had calmed down and slowly come back to our senses; Although I have forgotten what happened, the apologies in my heart at that time gradually sprouted. Finally arrived at the school gate after school; In the most densely populated place, I still took advantage of the noise in the crowd to apologize to him with an embarrassed face; I also invited him to my house to play computer games. Que Fukang is not an unreasonable person; Seeing that I took the initiative to apologize, he ran home with me with kind words.

Because Que Fukang is the first time to contact computers; He hadn't even figured out the mechanics of the mouse, and the Sail was still too early for him. So we played the relatively simple gold miner for a few hours, and we were exposed to computer games for the first time; Que Fukang's performance is basically the same as mine; The whole person is completely caught in the game, so that the grandfather downstairs calls him to eat; It has also been repeatedly postponed. In the end, it was Que Fucong who came up to call him after eating; rotated his place; He hurried down and devoured it, and it didn't take long for him to return. Some time thereafter; As long as the school bell rings, we always rush to the front of the crowd and rush home very tacitly; But not playing gold miners. Rather, they watched me play the Cell; Que Fucong is actually not interested in this type of game, but Que Fukang has been completely attracted by the graphics and style of the game; Seeing his eager eyes and repeated requests, I agreed to help him register a game account. The time when I went to Tao Tao's house; I always complained in my heart that even if he wouldn't let me play for a while, even if he gave me a task for my game account. Until he became Taotao; It is even more excessive than what Tao Tao did; It always feels like there's never enough time to play.

Then, by chance, I came across the first online gunfight game that became popular not long after it was launched: CrossFire. There are all kinds of guns and different characters; and the refreshing and exciting sense of killing, which gave me a new definition of the game; The Que brothers also fell in love with the game. But my bad things are starting to haunt me again; Because the guns and characters in this game are different, I always like to try to persuade them to match their image based on their physical characteristics. During primary school, Que Fukang's body was the fattest of the three of us; The character is also more honest and honest. However, Que Fucong's figure and personality are diametrically opposed to Que Fukang; Shorter, thinner, and more clever. I think that what guns and characters are thick and heavy are suitable for Que Fukang, and short and exquisite ones are more in line with Que Fucong's character. According to my thoughts, I began to brainwash the two brothers, saying how good this gun was. Maybe they think what I'm saying makes sense; Or maybe they think it's going to be endless like this, and they end up compromising with me every time. And I was not much different in size from Que Fukang at that time, but I always chose some of the coolest firearms; It's just to make all three of us different, as long as I have to be the most handsome. I don't know where I learned my narcissism and advocacy for others.

After equipping them; In fact, I haven't let them play much, and I rarely even help them log in. Promise them more than once at school every time; will play with them one by one; Will log in to their account to help them upgrade and earn in-game currency to buy new guns. But as soon as I got home, I was completely left behind, and they could only sit behind me and look at my back and computer screen with some loss and grievance. They also reminded me occasionally; But I always replied to them very perfunctorily, asking them to wait a little longer. But when my mother urged me to turn off the computer and rest, I still couldn't keep my promise. The next day, when they asked about yesterday, I asked with a puzzled expression, "Why didn't you say it earlier?" It's okay, I'm going to play with you today. "But what I was waiting for was that I broke my promise again and again. In response to my sentence "Why didn't you say it earlier." In desperation, they could only remind me more often, but I didn't know that it was just an excuse I made for my ugly character. Whenever they were impatient, I would say viciously, "Don't make a noise! I said I'll play with you later, I haven't been playing for long; This is my home! You don't want to wait and get out. "Actually, I was already playing for a while, and I don't know how long I've been playing; I don't care about blurting out that overheated remarks. Now I think of their disappointed and aggrieved backs; I don't regret my actions and remarks at the time countless times, and I always keep asking myself that they are my best friends; Why should I treat them like this? Before we had computers, we were always inseparable; They didn't do anything wrong either. If the roles are reversed, will you be able to bear it? Computers brought me joy casually, but they began to change my nature.

In the whole experience of this incident, I suddenly thought of one of the small episodes; But at one time, I felt guilty, whether it was on TV or on the advertisement of computer online video, they were vigorously promoting KFC's new family bucket; For a time, it caused a wave of enthusiasm in our village. And we, the children in the countryside, all look forward to having the opportunity to eat once, and even start to divide the contents of the family bucket in the advertisement; Thinking that if we had such a big cup of the whole family, what would you eat? What do I eat? Who knew that what we originally regarded as a wish was fulfilled in my home. I vaguely remember that it was my brother's first long vacation after he went to college, and I contacted him on the phone halfway; I have expressed my desire for the whole family bucket many times, but at that time, the Sail launched a new function of recharging to obtain exclusive rights. Isn't that what I want to be different? And the cards and coupons used for recharging can only be bought in the county seat. After I told my brother about the coupons; He told me to choose between a family bucket and a coupon. Faced with two things that I really wanted to get, I was also caught up in all kinds of entanglements for a while. In the end, in order to satisfy the different temperament from others, I chose the card coupon. But I didn't expect that on the day my brother came back, he couldn't help but buy me a card coupon; In his hand, he is carrying a family bucket that is basically the same as the packaging on the TV. The joy of this scene in front of me is beyond words to describe; All that remains is the involuntary excitement.

That day, my brother took the train back to the county seat from other provinces, and it was my mother who picked him up at the station. So there was no one at home to cook dinner, and it was getting darker; After waiting for such a long time, it was the two brothers Que Fukang who came up to accompany me; I'm already hungry. Looking at such a large cup of the whole family bucket, how could I care about my mother telling me to wash my hands first; Grab a chicken leg and gobble it up. There are a lot of categories in it, but at this time, I didn't think about the brothers who were with me before. And now they are sitting on the couch in my living room, staring blankly at the TV. At the beginning, we said how to divide it; Even if my brother bought it, it was all about how much it was put on the table. Besides, although they sat silently on the side, why didn't they want to eat? Who of us children can resist this temptation. But I was eating at the moment, so I couldn't care about it; I just wanted to stuff it into my mouth so hard that I didn't even look at them. In the end, it was the mother who took out a small box of chicken rice from the family bucket and distributed it to them; In fact, there are a lot of chicken legs and chicken wings in the bucket. Maybe my mother didn't think I had enough to eat, so she didn't take it out and give it to them; But they ate the three or four chicken popcorns in the small box, but they had a satisfied smile on their faces. As I write this, I feel a sour feeling in my nose; It made my mind hit those images over and over again. Then I thought that if the roles were reversed again; Will they treat me like this? Even if the story is the same, can I withstand their feelings? After so many years; Whenever I think of these things, I go to them and face the guilt of the past; It must be false to say that I have not been hurt by my selfishness, domineering and evil words, but they have repeatedly forgiven me; Even now, I can't guarantee that I will be able to do it.

For a long time since I installed a computer in my home, it is not only the Que Fukang brothers who have been angry with me. Few of the boys in my class had computers at home; It's not that the economy doesn't allow it, it's just that many parents feel that computers will delay their learning, so even students who have computers at home can't play as freely as I do. I don't know who spread the news that I have a computer at home, but over time, more and more classmates have come to my house. But the result is basically the same as that of the two brothers; And you have to listen to me on the surface, and only when you're in a good mood will you give them a little addiction. In that era when semi-intelligent machines were just being introduced; Whoever has a computer is the prince. Now that I think about it, I have indeed offended a lot of people, and it is normal for them to be prejudiced against me. Because there are so many people coming from my house; Sometimes it's because of some bright or dull monetization in the game that causes them to make a noise. After a long time, even the surrounding neighbors can't bear it anymore. When the computer was first installed, my mother felt that it was too troublesome to pull a network cable again and bring it upstairs; It happened that a teacher on the third floor did not use broadband at home often, so he suggested that his mother pull a network cable directly from their house to use it. It's both money-saving and convenient. Then it may be that I have too many children and are too noisy; Every few days, we will use various excuses to unplug our network cable, either touching the network cable while mopping the floor, or the router is broken. Even if it's really broken, don't find someone to fix it; It's just dry. It took me a lot of time to play games; Every time I asked my mother to tell the teacher to find someone to fix it, she would always say that she had already called; No one else has time to come. In half a year, the network was broken three or four times, each time it was half a month to start, and my mother simply pulled another network cable; lest we two troubles.

In those years; My mother could have gone out to work with my father, but in order to make my childhood loved; Or choose to stay and take care of me. Maybe it's because people have been soaked in a sugar pot for a long time; will be paralyzed by sweetness, and always feel that mother's love is taken for granted. My mother is a very family-oriented person, and every penny she spends is carefully calculated. Even if she has spare time, her neighbors and friends in the neighborhood ask her to play cards, as long as she is gambling, she will not participate. Usually when I go to class, it is a rare leisure time for her; But she is not a person who can be idle, and will always find something for herself to do. Either remove the curtains and wash them, clean the bathroom and kitchen, or even be willing to clean the public stairs and handrails of the entire building. I once asked her, "We live on the fifth floor in our house, why do you clean it all?" But she replied with a smile: "You children; When I go downstairs, I like to touch the handrails, and when I come back, I get my hands and sleeves dirty; Que Fukang's mother and I don't want to wash the ga? "Because my brother was admitted to a conservatory, the tuition fee is tens of thousands of dollars per semester. In order to minimize the burden on the family for my father, my mother didn't know where to get some manual work; It is to string different beads together in order to tie them into a bracelet, and the difficulty is different, and the price is also different, most of them range from seven cents to a dime. But this kind of work is indeed suitable for mothers; Not only can you pass the time at home, but you can also earn money. And I happened to be poisoned by the computer; Except during class time, as long as I am not allowed to play with the computer, I will be vexatious. There were a few times when my mother wanted to earn more money; I'll come back with some urgent orders. After school or on weekends, they would pull me along; Don't even think about touching the computer without finishing the indicators in her mouth. How could I bear this in my heart at the time? Finally got through the time to go to school, and came back to work as a laborer? It didn't take long for him to start arguing with his mother impetuously, and even began to hate his mother for a while; said a bunch of unpleasant words of "don't bully the poor youth". Looking back now, my mother was during the bracelet stringing; I don't know if the hygiene problem of the beads has not been dealt with in place, and it has been going to be done for a while; My mother's whole body grew a number of red and itchy bags, and I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night. Slowly, a large area of the body began to molt; Slowly derived from the hands and feet inward. Compared with my mother's suffering, what is my wayward grievance that is not worth mentioning?

Maybe God thinks I'm stubborn and unrepentant; Finally, I learned what the process of feng shui rotation is. It was the summer vacation of my brother's first year at university, perhaps because he was already familiar with the school environment and his classmates. At the beginning of the sophomore year and preparing to return to school; So I packed up the computer and prepared to take it with me, and I was not happy about it at the time; But in any case, it was also a computer specially bought for him, and the software and hardware were not his opponents, so he could only watch him take the computer away. Looking at the empty computer desk in the room; Thinking about the days without computers in the future, it is like a never-ending night rain in my heart. It just so happened that Que Fukang's parents planned to stay at home in the second half of the year to find some work after coming back from the migrant workers this time, and maybe they didn't want their children to lack the love of their parents. Que Fukang's father; Because they are all more familiar, I will not be so restrained in front of them, and I will directly call them uncles and aunts. When I went to junior high school in the county seat; Every month when I come back, I will find an opportunity to visit him, and bring him some cigarettes that are not available in the village. Uncle was very fond of playing cards; But it's not a good bet, it's just a preference for this; Every Chinese New Year, he would be seen sitting around a table of relatives playing poker. When I am usually at home, I will hold my mobile phone and play card games for an afternoon. At that time, our village was still a popular button machine, and there were only a handful of games on mobile phones. Only by playing more poker games online through a computer; So my uncle occasionally went to one of his relatives who had a computer to have a card addiction. Originally, this was completely bearable for an adult. Unfortunately, when my uncle was working outside one day, he didn't pay attention and broke his leg; I can't remember the exact injury, but I remember that my leg was bandaged; Even walking requires crutches, and when you look at it, you know that you have to cultivate for a while. Maybe my uncle had planned to buy a computer; Unexpectedly, such a thing happened, so I simply arranged it in advance.

On that day, my brothers and I returned home after school as usual; Not long after I walked back to the door, I heard the cheers of the two of them in great excitement. I wonder what can make you happy like this? Suddenly, I heard Que Fukang calling me by the window of his balcony, and I walked to the balcony and looked down; Seeing him stretch out half of his body from the window, his head turned sideways, his face was full of joy and shouted to me: "Come down and play, my family has bought a computer!" "I suddenly had the word "" in my heart; Quickly ran downstairs and walked into the room to see that the two brothers were gathered in front of the computer; I couldn't take my eyes off the fight screen of the Cell, and in the lower right corner, I was still downloading Crossfire. Since then, the picture of the two poles has been reversed; At first, he just moved downstairs to me, and I basically went downstairs every day to play with them, and then the opposite picture appeared when I bought a computer at home, and finally it was reversed again; is still the same sentence, whoever has a computer is the prince. But apart from me, other students still didn't dare to come; Or maybe it's thick-skinned. But the big reason is that the uncle will control the time they play games; Not as free as I am. Even if they come, they will have to leave after a while.

Although in the days when I had a computer at home, I was arrogant because of my addiction to games. But after that, I gradually returned to my normal sanity; Know that you have to be self-aware. Naturally, I didn't dare to say anything to let them play with me for a while, and I often sat and watched them play all afternoon; But I also feel very enjoyable. But there is one more role: the judge. Ever since the two brothers got on the computer; will always fight over trivial matters, and even start crying. Either it's a question of what's going on to play first, or I let you play a few more minutes yesterday; Today you have to pay back the problem, and then go further and further. And the most I hear is: you judge. Isn't that forcing me to walk on a single-plank bridge? I remember that once the whole thing was because Que Fucong was a little vexatious from above, and I symbolically said the truth inside. As a result, he was put down by Cong Cong: "Don't think that if you help Que Fukang speak, you will let you play with the computer and dream!" "Since then, I have not reasoned with either side; Whenever they are judging me, I will advise them to calm down and say some neutral nonsense first; Every sentence is very submissive. Isn't this exactly 30 years in Hedong and 30 years in Hexi?

The vicious changes that came in my childhood on the way to adolescence; Those nonsensical things that were made. In fact, most of it is related to computers; Not just in your own home; The same is true at a relative's house. On the days when my brother took the computer away; I often asked my mother who bought the computer, and my dependence on the computer had reached a state of madness. Coincidentally, my mother once took me to the county seat to deal with some things. Near noon, my mother received a phone call; the son of the eldest uncle; That's my cousin calling. He learned that we had come to the county seat to do business; It's almost time to get to the hotel, like inviting us to his rental house for a light meal. The mother didn't want to trouble her cousin, after all, he was living in the county with his family; And his sister-in-law is already pregnant with a second child, and the burden of the whole family is on him alone. But at my cousin's repeated insistence; He also offered to see the house they rented, after all, we hadn't been there once; Say at which intersection let's wait for him. Under the enthusiasm of his cousin, his mother was not easy to refuse. A few minutes after we arrived at the waiting place, an electric tricycle made of plastic plates stopped in front of us. Looking at the familiar faces in front of the car and waving, we got into the car.

After a jolt; Miwa stopped downstairs in an old-looking neighborhood. I fantasized that even if the conditions were poor, at least there would be a house layout, but I didn't expect that the family would live in a private parking garage downstairs in a residential area. The location inside is not large, not only leaving the place of the bed, but piling up some daily necessities; It was also necessary to squeeze out a place for the toilet and kitchen. The rest of the space is not even easy to walk, and the damp and dim environment makes the air not circulating. But the more disappointed I looked, the more surprising it became, and when I was halfway inside, I found myself standing in a corner of the door that was blocked by the wooden door of the toilet. My nephew was sitting at the table playing with the computer I had been dreaming about. This is not enough to take care of the difficulties; I jumped up in three or two clicks, and I couldn't wait to beg him to play with me for a while. When my sister-in-law saw this, she asked her nephew to give way to me, and this concession was repaid; The computer in front of me and I seemed to have become two magnets, sucking together. After solving the problem of eating in three or five minutes, I continued to return to the computer without stopping. My mother must have known my craving for computers; I would sit down and talk to my sister-in-law after dinner so that I could play a little longer. It wasn't until the last train back to the countryside was about to arrive at the departure point that my mother called me to leave. However, I was already confused by the computer at this time, and even if my mother urged or even threatened to bring me here in the future; I couldn't shake it. I was so impatient that I blurted out that I was going to rest here for a few days; Of course, my mother didn't allow it, and the place here was not large; Although there are three beds, because my sister-in-law is pregnant, for safety reasons; A separate bed is required. In addition to my cousin and nephew, the remaining two are also my aunt who came to take care of them. Now I have to squeeze in one of me, what kind of system? Seeing that I didn't eat hard and insisted on not leaving, my sister-in-law was also persuading my mother on the side. In desperation, the mother had to give her sister-in-law some money; Let her help take care of me for a few days. Then my mother said goodbye and left, and my heavenly life began.

those days in my cousin's rental house; I completely let go of myself. In addition to sleeping and eating, it is both an exclusive computer; I don't care about my sister-in-law and nephew having only such a leisure device at home. The meals are all served by roast chicken and duck, and no one cares even if they play late. Even playing so hard that even the biological clock was out of order, I remember one day at noon because of the previous day's late bedtime and early up; Came to doze off shortly after lunch; Then I was willing to close the computer and lie down in bed to rest. When I woke up, I don't know how long I had been asleep; Looking at the gray sky outside, there was a bitter breath in his mouth. I thought it was the next morning, so I habitually walked to the wall and picked up a toothbrush and towel to wash; My sister-in-law looked at my actions with a puzzled face, but it was not easy to ask. Because in our country; Basically, I wash up only in the morning and evening. It wasn't until I finished brushing my teeth that I asked my sister-in-law to go home today, after all, I played day and night for so many days; I'm starting to get a little tired of it, too. My sister-in-law couldn't understand my words anymore, and reminded me in confusion: "Why do you want to go home now?" I don't have a car to go back now, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow morning. Listening to her words, my sister-in-law and I became more and more at a loss. In the end, under the explanation of my sister-in-law, I was relieved that I was confused; I guess if this continues, something will go wrong. Early the next morning, I followed my brother's tricycle to the station and took the shuttle back to the countryside; It was also the first time I played with the computer, and I went from being fascinated to not getting cold. Although I occasionally have the opportunity to come to the county seat, I still go to my cousin's to have a good time, but after the first lesson; Won't be so crazy.

When it comes to the days when I was in my third year of junior high school; The old house I lived in was very old, and the corners of the ceiling had cracks. After many discussions between father and mother; I think I want to build a self-built house again, thinking that we will get married in the future. After asking around and by chance, my mother bought a reinforced concrete foundation from her good friend. My father was working outside the home; Therefore, the plan to build a house can only be entrusted to my mother. And my mother didn't invite many workers, but only called my uncle who was building houses all the year round; Come and do some professional work. The mother handles all the remaining odd jobs of carrying steel bars and bricks, including design and procurement of materials; Sometimes I often don't admire my mother's strength that is different from ordinary women. When I come home from winter and summer vacations, I will be pulled to work as a small worker, but I am always lazy and lazy in doing things. But at least the mind remained on building the house, until the computer came to me again. The disease that had improved began to recur.

It was the end of the year, and the families of migrant workers also returned home one after another. Lai Wang is one of them. In the years since he stayed at home without studying; He often talked to me about his boredom at home and his lack of financial resources. So when he became an adult, he couldn't wait to go out, and that was the second year he returned home; As he approached from a distant fork in the road, he and his own brother Jian Jian didn't recognize him at first sight; It's completely different from the impression we have in mind. The short hair on his head has turned into a dense exploding head, and his body is a little thinner than when he left early last year; Everyone in the cold winter Layue wore a cotton jacket and sweater, but he was the only one wearing a thin sportswear. Seeing him come forward and greet us warmly, the warm and free temperament of the pair of friends is still the same; Jian Jian and I followed him and chatted with him. Lai Wang is a sensible child, and the first thing he did when he came back was to hand over most of the salary he got to his aunt; I left it to play cards with my relatives at the beginning of the year, and if I didn't have a card friend, I would go to the Internet café to surf the Internet; Lai Wang also loves to play computer games, and many times he thinks like I used to; I didn't know until midnight when I went to an Internet café early in the morning, and when I was hungry, I solved it at a small fried shop or store nearby. My aunt is worried that if this continues, it will affect his body; But I couldn't persuade him, thinking that there was a lot of money spent on the Internet every day; I simply installed a computer for him at home, at least he could see people.

On the day I chose the computer, my aunt took the three children at home and me with me; We had planned to go to the longest-running computer outlet in the village, which was the store that gave us computers for our home. The owner's surname is Yang, and he has been in the computer industry for more than ten years; In terms of field status, their family is the highest. After a long discussion, the configuration of the computer was basically determined; Just wait for the price to be negotiated. Things were supposed to be safe at this point, but who would have thought that my extremely clever aunt would jump out of some corner, twist her fat ass and drag my aunt out of the store; said that the son of a friend of mine opened a new computer sales point, and she could get an affordable price for her face. Let's talk about it; They led us to a new store not far from here, although it looked like it was all newly renovated and equipped with computers; But the layout is much smaller than Master Yang's shop. Before entering the store, my aunt shouted at the store with a smile: "Boss, I'll bring you business!" The young man in the shop heard the sound; Hurried out to welcome us in. I finally forgot the name of the young boss; However, in terms of appearance, words and deeds, it gives people a real feeling. Who knows that in the end it is we who are the real people, because there are only children and women in our group; Nor is there anyone who really understands the configuration and price of computers. After a conversation that night and the next morning; In the end, I bought a high-end product with very low configuration and performance that was not as good as my family's old computer a few years ago for 4,000 yuan. Now after I know more about computers; When I recall the experience that the original configuration brought me, the corresponding price will not exceed 1,000; This is much worse than the computer in the early 3,000s that Master Yang talked about before. And why my aunt insisted on taking us to that store to buy it, the answer gradually emerged in the second year after buying the computer. It's hard for me to say the specifics; It's just that after that incident, my aunt became the laughing stock of the people in the village for a while. It is estimated that the store is also because of the turmoil of this matter; It didn't take long for the business to close down; And Master Yang's store is getting better and better. Hey! Isn't this what makes my aunt so special?

In the year when my aunt's house installed the computer, LOL had just become popular in our village. I was first introduced to MOBA games; I was quickly fascinated by its novel gameplay style. It is also very much with the appetite of the two of them, and every rainy day when they don't have to work, they will go downstairs to watch their operation. If you really want to be addicted, you will use the money you saved for breakfast at school; Take it to the Internet café for an hour or two. But since my aunt's house installed a computer, I have no restrictions; Even though I was at my aunt's house, I was not restrained. On the surface, it was bought for Lai Wang, but basically I was playing alone; The rest of the time will be spent on the healthy hands; For Lai Wang, he can't touch it once in a few days. Look at me so cheeky; Whether it is Aunt Xiao or Lai Wang, they have never said it again; It's as if I own the computer. Because of the computer matter, I have also had emotional feelings with Jian Jian more than once. Once you play it, you completely ignore the words in your mouth. Now that I think about it, I feel even more ashamed, what originally belonged to his family, whether I can play it depends on my attitude; Isn't that ridiculous? It was also miserable for my mother, who often went to help in the unfinished new house; I'm already absent-minded, and my mind is full of scenes from LOL. It didn't take long to clamoring to go over and play games; The new house is not far from my aunt's house, and it won't take ten minutes to trot. In order to get my mother to compromise, I began to negotiate terms with her; After doing a certain amount of work, you have to let me go, or you will turn your face and quarrel with your mother. It's as if this house wasn't for me; I don't realize how tired my mother will be alone; Mother's body can't get sun, as long as you get your hands on it, it's a whole afternoon; Even when I go home, my mother calls me. When I get home, I have to prepare dinner. Dragging the scarred body, I can't tell where it hurts, as long as I lie down at night, it seems difficult to even turn over. At this moment, these images gradually flooded into my mind, stimulating my nose to sour.

Now that I think about it; Because of the computer experience; Although there was a moment of joy, the loss of really precious family and precious friendship; The only thing that remains today is repentance and guilt. Now I'm not dependent on computer games; The arrogance and domineering of the past are long gone; But it has evolved into a new pathology. This taciturn, unsociable malaise; Maybe it's from the pen of society. I wanted to make up for my previous debts, but when I actually walked into the zoo, it was difficult because of my ignorance.

roamed the corridor of the past in the review; I suddenly remembered something that also feels contradictory today. It seems that there is nothing wrong with everyone's approach, but you can also see the flaws. To say that everyone is at fault; But it's all in the process of being cleaned up. It was the fifth grade of primary school, which had just begun; Mr. Lin took advantage of the last class meeting every Monday afternoon to arrange the class cadres for this semester. The class leader with the best language score; The best in mathematics is a study committee. In the classroom, desks are placed in each row with a certain interval to prevent students from whispering in class. But each column is next to each other; One column is a group, with a total of five columns. The best student in each group is the leader of the group, who is responsible for checking the homework; Collect workbooks and the like. Our group didn't actually do very well; Look down at it; Only Zhou Zhihang can still be in the middle and upper reaches of the class. At that time, our math teacher Chen could be said to be very strict with the students, and he could always come up with some more torturous punishments. What exam fails to copy the test paper; If there are too many mistakes in the workbook, you have to kneel in class, and if you don't ask for the right answer to the assigned questions, you will be grabbed by the ears and slammed; Or take a few slaps. Because of my stupidity, I never passed my math grades in the fourth grade; Naturally, these punishments are indispensable. The most impressive one was the three example questions assigned by Mr. Chen; As soon as my answer was wrong, my ears changed from flesh-yellow to blood-red; Perhaps it was the anger caused by hating that iron is not made of steel, until Mr. Chen grabbed my ear once, and because he pinched it too tightly, he slipped off his hand because of the blood oozing from his ear before he fell twice. It may be that you realize that you are too heavy; After reacting, he borrowed a piece of paper from his classmates, handed it to me with a "na", and motioned for me to cover the wound on my ear. At that time, my ears were already numb from the tears, and I couldn't feel the pain of the wound, only a burst of burning heat; The tissues that covered the ears were also getting soaked. There are not a few slap prints with chalk ash on the face, after the incident; The teacher will also add viciously: "Go back and let your mother take a look to see if she said that she was a good fighter." "But now I can understand that I am teaching so many students who are not successful; It is inevitable that you will get emotional, and it is normal to find a few poor grades to dissipate your anger, and you can't do it to good students, right? As early as when I signed up, my mother had an explanation; If you don't obey, you will be beaten hard, and it is better to be respectful than to obey your fate.

In fact, these flesh and skin suffering; After frequent times, he gradually became resistant, even if he really came back to tell his mother; There is also a reproach. And for most teachers; are more willing to correct those homework books with neat fonts. Although Mr. Chen is a mathematics teacher, he also has great requirements for the neatness of the formulas used to solve the problems. And my handwriting is really very sloppy, even if it is a bunch of numbers, only I can read it. In case of Teacher Chen's bad mood; Or hit it back and write it all over again. the most severe one; I simply tore off my workbook and struck my foolish head with the hardest corner of the workbook. Then, in order to be less angry; He handed over the task of checking the neatness of the handwriting to the team leader; Let them filter through the rest of the good product after modifying it. If there is still scribbling, the team leader has the right to tear up the workbook and let us write it again. Perhaps Mr. Chen's evaluation of my handwriting has become familiar to the whole class, so that it has reached Zhou Zhihang's hands; also didn't give any good looks, but out of the relationship when he was herding sheep before; I don't often tear up my workbook. But in front of Mr. Chen, he is still businesslike; Often, when someone else writes an exercise book, I always have to write it three or four times to satisfy him, and I always have a look of amusement. I can't help but think of a lyric in Mr. Xu Song's "Illegal Animals", "A little power always wants to use small power, but there is a big power; I'm on your side when my brain is broken. "But Teacher Chen still feels that the punishment for our foolishness is still not enough. In order for us to spend all our time after school studying; So I decided to ask the students who failed the math test to copy the test paper twice from beginning to end. In fact, I still don't understand this practice to this day; Even if you copy it a few times, it's just to complete the job; It's like a machine is printing repeatedly. I don't know how to solve problems; How much smarter can you be if you copy it a thousand times? The content of the copied test paper should be checked by the team leader, and the handwriting should still be torn out and rewritten.

Coincidentally, not long after this punishment was released, another bolt from the blue was ushered in. When these two heavenly thunderbolts are related, I know what torment is. I have forgotten the specific antecedents, but I remember that the teacher told me that I needed to go home and bring some screwdrivers and small pliers to do manual tasks. The students in our group are far away from home, so it will be more troublesome to bring them. Just let me bring two more things; If you can help the team leader, why not do it? When I returned to school in the afternoon, I filled a jar full of bits and pieces with a hole in the tea jar. Pour it on the table; There are many varieties, but there are few practical ones. An inconspicuous light switch scattered on the side attracted the attention of Zhou Zhihang and two other classmates. That year was the time when the Armored Warriors broadcast hotly; We're passionate about playing the armor inside. But the Yanlong armor I liked was against another classmate, and in the face of the dissuasion of other classmates, none of us compromised. Most of the male classmates in the class were better with him, and many things would be on the opposite side of me, and when they saw me being so persistent, they kicked me out of the pretend game. Maybe it's because they don't have the aura of a computer, and it's normal for them to be angry before they sprinkled it. But this time the light switch; But they were liked by the leaders of their groups, so they came up to me with rare anger; As long as I give them this switch, they will give me the role of the Flame Dragon Armor. And Zhou Zhihang happened to want this switch too; Said that there was a light switch in the house that was broken, and wanted me to go back and see if I could replace it, but there were no conditions. Maybe he thinks that I can understand our relationship in front of me. But how did I know that a group of elementary school students could play so deeply with the human accident, but they were dazzled by the joy brought by the incident of the Yanlong armor; Without much thought, I gave the switch to the other two classmates. Thinking that I brought these things, even if I didn't give the switch to Zhou Zhihang; It kind of helped our whole group. At this moment, I can't help but think of what my brother said: "If you have done a hundred bad things, you have done one good deed; Then others will think that you have become better. If you have done a hundred good deeds and then done one bad deed; Then you will always be a bad person in his heart. That's a good thing.

Seeing that I gave them the switch so directly, Zhou Zhihang's face suddenly stepped down; With an extremely rare ugly look, he spat out two words at me: "Remember!" And those two words became the key to the door of my nightmare. In order to prepare for the upcoming midterm exams; Every day, Ms. Chen brings a stack of test papers with her before coming to class. And every main course in the school is changed twice in a row, and Mr. Chen will be after the first class; Leave a lesson for us to do the test papers. The questions on the test paper were like a blank sheet of paper full of ants to me, leaving only helplessness and fear. Take a closer look; The smell of the test paper was as familiar as magic, and it didn't take long for a while; So I changed my single eyelid to a double eyelid. Then a hand pulled me to the top of the sea; Feel the "time to ride the wind and waves, and hang straight on the clouds and sail into the sea." "The charm. But I didn't expect to meet Mr. Chen here; Could it be that she also likes to travel the world? Oh! Definitely! She's here to grab me by the ears and take me home. The waters are fierce; Wet my exam papers, too. In the midst of the ridicule of his classmates; Looking at the test paper, which was already half wet, Mr. Chen looked disgusted and helpless and asked me to wash my face and wake up, and when I came back, I quickly did the questions first. Naturally, I did just that, and in the end, I didn't pass the grade. According to Teacher Chen's punishment; If you fail a test paper, you have to copy it twice, so that it can be easier after school. As long as it is not Mr. Lin's Chinese class; I only care about copying the test papers, if I don't finish them at school; Combined with the total amount of homework for the day, it is estimated that it will be written until the early hours of the morning. And the person who inspected it was Zhou Zhihang, whom I had just offended; After that incident, he never showed me any kindness. The next day, show him the book I copied the test papers; just glanced at it hastily, as if it had become a habit to tear it casually; I called it back with ugly handwriting and copied it again. In order to meet the standard in his eyes, I also make the words clearer and bigger. I also blame myself for this uncompetitive hand, and I can't write "If the Taoist priests of Shanyin meet, they should write "Huang Ting" for white goose. "The only person around me who can do this is Pu. No matter how hard I try to write every day; The results have remained the same. Teacher Chen only needs to listen to the team leaders report on the homework; I don't really have to look at the progress of my torn handwriting. It's just that when I later corrected my workbook, I occasionally mentioned it. Nor would she consciously think that since the words in my workbook have made her feel a little more comfortable; Why are the copied test papers still being torn all the time?

Then I fell into an endless loop; Since I have been unable to teach mathematics repeatedly, I already know the results as soon as I hand in the test papers. Of course, I wasn't the only one who failed; But they either don't copy it all over again, even if the teacher goes to their parents; They are also safe and sound. Either the meaning is to copy a few questions casually, and they are both classmates and friends; The other team leaders just let them go. And I'm different, if I don't copy it; If you know it to your mother, it will be a slap in the face. Mother's dominant hand is a severed palm, the older generation said; If the severed palm hits the person hard, it will knock the person unconscious. Although the mother does not use so much force; But after a slap in the face, the slap marks on my face were all raised marks. and because of his lack of emotional intelligence; offended the top boss. In fact, not long after that, the popularity of the Armored Warriors also disappeared in our small group. Because the sample of the test paper that was torn up before should be copied again; After that, there were new papers to be copied every day. My homework is getting bigger and bigger; At the most painful time, you have to copy five or six test papers in one go, that is, twelve times; That's the equivalent of ten people's work. Even the time at school is completely insufficient, and when I come back, I have to copy it until late at night. My mother also wondered why I had so much homework at that time, I just said that I was writing slowly; Write neatly, or rewrite. My mother had no choice but to hold my hand and write with me. Not to mention; Originally, Zhou Zhihang still wanted to tear it up the next day, but after I told him the source of this handwriting; Unexpectedly stopped, and praised the handwriting. However, it was only a moment when the showers stopped, and the same process resumed the next day. I copied the twelve test papers from school to home at two o'clock in the morning the next day. When I looked at him and just glanced at him briefly, I tore it off with that familiar and decisive hand; The grievances and helplessness that had accumulated in my heart for a long time gushed out at once, wiping my eyes and sobbing constantly, but I didn't cry out loud; After all, self-suffering is not sympathetic. Looking at the small stack of homework books that were torn off this time, I may have realized that I was a little ruthless. It also attracted the attention of surrounding students; They helped to intercede together, and Zhou Zhihang finally exempted me from the punishment of recopying this time. comforted: "Forget it this time, you don't need to copy it; You won't tear up your book if you go back and write a little better, you see that the words your mother took you to write that day are very beautiful; If you can write such words, why would I tear up your notebook? "Whatever he says, I just nod my head again and again; As long as you don't let me copy the test papers, you can say anything. The next day, I started the cycle again, but as long as I didn't get to the same amount of work as before, I was lucky.

Looking back on my primary school life, only the days of raising sheep made me feel happy no matter how many times I reministrate. Most of the time it's like being under the dark; But it's self-inflicted. Because of the attitude of relying on the computer at home, he offended his classmates and was bullied a lot, and he was targeted because he did not understand the world. You said that Zhou Zhihang did something wrong; In fact, he did not do anything wrong, and on the surface, my handwriting was indeed untidy; He was just a routine, and I just didn't take advantage of it. Do you think Mr. Chen is wrong? She just hates that iron doesn't make steel and wants us to be better. It's just that I didn't expect that in such an innocent and simple environment as elementary school, it would urge me to learn and recognize the social form. I wanted to tell my mother countless times that I didn't want to go to school; Ask her to tell the teacher that I don't have to do math class; But even if I say it, the result that awaits me is the same. So everyone in the graduation photo showed a happy smile, but I was the only one who was indifferent. It's easy to tear up a workbook, and you don't need to experience the hard work of recopying it. You're just entering one game of power after another. That's why I'm not sociable, preferring to be alone; I also try not to live in mediocrity. At this moment, I thought of a poem I had written earlier, which was very much in line with the state of mind at this moment.

Dapeng period

The moon is bright and clear, how can the mist invade.

The autumn wind swept away the dust and stained the white cloth clothes.

Peng shakes the same wind for 90,000 miles, and the rabbit silk leans on the weed.

Large chunks of chicks are shattered, and there are green flies everywhere.