During the days when I worked in Shanghai, because of the professional requirements of typing customer service; Rest days are irregular. Because of a very sudden bad news, I became the first intern to ask my supervisor to make an exception for three days off; He was also the only one in the class who returned home halfway through the internship. The news of my grandmother's serious illness is something I could never have expected, such a spiritual old lady who watches her grandson run around like a cow; How can you say that it is about to die all of a sudden? My mother made a video call to me at 7 o'clock that night, because there was something waiting for her to deal with at home; She also rushed back a while ago, and this year her mother frequently traveled between the two places; The dissipated aura seemed to sublimate into a layer of hoarfrost and hit the top of the mother's head. I didn't have the energy to pay attention to my mother's side of the picture, because my mother's hoarse voice caught my attention. Take a closer look; Although the mother's godless eyes were a little difficult to open, the blood that filled them seemed to be flowing out of the cracks in the eyes; I don't know if the cheeks were red or colored by the charcoal fire, but they were haggard like I had never seen before. Realizing that something was not quite right, he hurried to the lounge for instructions; My mother, in a hoarse and somewhat inaudible voice, continued to care about my daily life, and then said with a choked voice: "Maotou! Grandma may not be able to do so this time. "What's wrong with Grandma?" I was fine before I came to school. "When I thought about coming to Shanghai to say goodbye and visit her, my body was even more energetic than before; Why is it not good? Then I learned from my mother that my grandmother wanted to nail a nail on the wall next to the bedside that could hang things; So I stepped on the bed board and nailed it up, the optional position was too high, even if I stood on the bed board and stood on tiptoe, I couldn't reach it, I tried a few small jumps, I didn't pay attention to stand firm, and I fell to the ground with my head on the back of my head. It happened that there was no one around, and after a long time, my cousin found that there was already a bloody puddle on the ground. I was rushed to the hospital because I was too old to be anesthetized, so I could only do a comprehensive bandage. The previous experience was also when my grandmother woke up and was a little conscious, and she whispered to her mother. When the mother turned the camera at her grandmother, she watched her babbling nonsense; I couldn't speak. Since I was born, I haven't seen my grandparents; My grandfather passed away when I was very young, and the only one I ever felt was my grandmother. I remember the days when my mother invited my grandmother to take care of me because she was out studying; The taste of being wrapped in simple and kind love made me laugh suddenly. "When you see your grandmother like this, do you still laugh?" Look at me in such a strange way; The mother asked with obvious dissatisfaction. In fact, even I didn't know why I laughed, and I didn't think about how to reply to my mother; had to take her words hard: "What then?" It's impossible to cry, right? "Yes! What can I do if I don't laugh? It's impossible to cry, right?

Hung up the video call for less than two hours, in the swaying carriage; The most unacceptable bad news came to my ears as promised. Looking out the car window at night; It was as if time had suddenly stood still, and even the raindrops were suspended in mid-air. Listening to the sad cry on the other end of the phone, there seem to be many miscellaneous things entangled in my heart; It was like a blank space, and the words that gradually became clear came to my mind: Grandma is gone. As my mother said on the phone, if it weren't for the previous video call; I won't be able to see my grandmother for the last time she saw her when she died. Relieved himself, he didn't care about being idle. While discussing with my mother the day to rush back to see off my grandmother, I opened the booking software to filter the date. Because I got off work late, it was already half past ten on the last bus; The latest high-speed train from Shanghai to home is only half past nine, and it is already a batch in the early morning of the next day. My mother advised me not to rush back in such a hurry, since the people were gone; Just come back and see the delivery, and tell me to have a good night's rest in the evening; Wake up early tomorrow and go back at the scheduled time. Calculated the approximate time of the first bus to Shanghai high-speed rail station tomorrow; Book a direct high-speed rail ticket at 7:40 in the morning, because it is not the peak season for the Spring Festival of tourism; Tickets are easy to buy. Finish arranging tomorrow's trip; Then there is the need to change shifts at work, but at this point in time, whether it is a leave letter to the supervisor or the team leader, there is no letter, and it is estimated that their living conditions cannot be regarded as early sleepers. When changing the schedule and arranging rotation, the supervisor will naturally arrange it as soon as possible; It is also good for other colleagues to be mentally prepared. It's definitely inappropriate to put it in the group and say it directly, and you can't use your own private affairs to deal with people. I have no choice but to ask the seniors who have worked in the project team for the longest time to tell me; I happened to have the phone number of the team leader when I asked. Lying on the bed, I finally glanced at the time on my phone that was close to twelve o'clock, and finally closed my eyes with peace of mind; What happened here in Shanghai is all right?

The luggage I went back was packed before the rest yesterday, and I was worried that I would oversleep; I set an alarm every six minutes from half-past six, but I was worried about things; I didn't wait for the first alarm clock to sound before I woke up. This will be very leisurely, get up and wash your face and brush your teeth, wash your hair, and apply some cream, which is considered a man's exquisite dress before going out. I can't learn the habits of Tuyan; If you are lazy to eat, you don't have to talk about it if you love to sleep, and if you don't pay attention to personal hygiene, it is extremely unbearable for others. In the sloppy body, the fat reveals the oiliness; The pimple face with a pair of black and white tooth decay looks like a good match. Although the conditions of his family are quite good, and he is an only child; But it seems that no matter how good the brand is, it looks like a roadside stall on him. Every day before going to work, he never washes in order to be able to rely on it for a while; Wrap your hands around your face and rub it a few times, as if you have finished washing your face; Brushing your teeth is even more troublesome, just find a convenience store and buy a can of fruit-flavored chewing gum can not only get rid of bad breath but also convenient, this day makes it difficult for him to live a beautiful life! We can't learn from this group of people.

They were forced to work at nine o'clock in the morning, and they didn't bother to dry their hair for fear of startling them; Picked up the schoolbag and went out lightly. The time was just right, and the bus to the destination didn't wait for a while before stopping; Fortunately, it didn't make it to the morning rush hour, and it only took a quarter of an hour to be seven or eight platforms away. The road from the platform to the ticket gate is also not very far; There are not many people who will choose the early batch of cars, and the whole process from ticket collection to sitting on the chair in the waiting hall is very smooth and fast; Even in the waiting room, there were only a dozen or so people sitting around. Overly cautious, always worried about all kinds of mistakes, his eyes are always staring directly at the screen in front of the hall showing the arrival of the high-speed rail. The news of the ticket inspection on the radio was also trotting to catch up, and it was only after entering the pit stop that I looked at the car and sat firmly in my position that I was at ease. The car drove slowly; Looking out of the car window, the trees seem to be connected into a green protective net; The closer you get to home, the more pleasing it is. This trip back is not absolutely sad, and there is even some joyful anticipation; The anticipation of a reunion with my family after a long absence. It's only three hours away, when the car door slowly opens, and the moment you step into your hometown; It's as if everything is so intimate; Although the wind is cold, it seems to be caring for me. For me, even in the prosperous and developed Shanghai, I can't compare to my dependence on my hometown. Riding on the bus back to the countryside, I listened to several middle-aged men and women speaking boastful and humble words in the village dialect; Although my voice was loud and noisy, I didn't put on my headphones as I used to. With the mixed sound of conversation, I fell asleep; I slept with a sense of security and peace of mind.

When I arrived at my grandmother's house, it was already afternoon, and the living room was full of relatives who had come to offer condolences. The decoration around is not much the same as the one I have seen before, or even simpler. Two square tables for eating were stacked in the middle, some incense and candles were placed on the top table, and several Taoist priests stood in front of the table and danced hand and foot dances. My mother came out of the room and happened to see me standing outside the door. My mother, who looked more tired than in the video, walked up to me in surprise and asked why she hadn't called her beforehand. Before I could get a perfunctory reply, he pulled me straight into the room. The grandmother lying on the bed was so petite, with slightly blackened and sunken eyes and cheeks and pale brown lips; Half-opened, as if asleep. My mother hurriedly brought three incense sticks and asked me to bow to them; I did as my mother said, but I couldn't speak, only my mother whispered in a hoarse voice that was almost inaudible: "! Maotou came back from Shanghai to see you! Look at these grandchildren and grandchildren? "Looking at my grandmother's face, I want to cry like the elders around me; But no matter how sad the mood is, no matter how deliberately brewed; I never shed a single tear. I kept spitting in my heart that I was a ruthless and unrighteous thing; I am especially envious of those people who are still crying in tears one second and crying the next second, but can talk and laugh freely. For these elders, the only thing that can be directly proportional to their age is knowledge, but it seems that in a sense, the most lacking thing is also knowledge. For such an occasion of birth, old age, sickness and death, their eyes only write numbness, what to do, even skillfully as if they are at work.

Listening to the high-pitched, noisy conversation with laughter at the funeral banquet, and the picture of the two masters at the head table holding the erhu suona ensemble and playing a harsh and sad minor key really made me amused. Looking at the red-faced and red-eared laughter of the relatives who couldn't catch up with half of the chat, I also laughed together; He laughs at theirs, and I laugh at mine. The game of cards behind the banquet seems to be integrated into the local customs, as long as the individual greets him; You can get together several tables in twos and threes, and the winning ones shuffle the cards with a satisfied face; Those who lose money blame each other that their teammates will not cooperate. It's like a reunion of old friends after a long absence, and I don't care about the dead people in the room; I don't know whose family gave it the head.

Since the day of her grandmother's accident, her mother has been by her side every step of the way; Although she knew that she would soon be saying goodbye to her grandmother. But at the moment, in addition to staying by my grandmother's side; She couldn't think of where else to go? Instead of lying on the bed and making this physically and mentally exhausted body more tormented, it is better to be kind to the nonsense in my grandmother's mouth. Mother said that on the night when my grandmother regained consciousness a little, she had a crying voice and a weak voice with such a sentence: "Nanni! I'm going to die in this life, and no one really feels sorry for me! "Grandma is such a hard-working person, from the era, environment and status of her birth, she is destined to live a few good days. When I was young, I often heard my grandmother talk about her experience, and there were few people who could eat enough to eat as a farmer in those days; The girl is just a tool for the family's chores, and if she doesn't use it sooner, she may become a spilled water one day. My grandmother said that since she was four years old, she not only had to take care of her younger siblings who were a few years younger than her, but also had to take care of most of the chores in the family. It is a small matter to have no food to eat in some places, and you have to beat your grandmother with a flat pole next to you, and you are not allowed to shout and beg for mercy no matter where you are beaten. People say that the girl is the same in any poor family, and she can't bear to wait for a good life when she gets married. But this sentence doesn't seem to work in my grandmother, and her simple and hard-working hard-working not only can't win the good face of her mother-in-law's family, even if her son gets married; The daughter-in-law also had to threaten to take the child, and every now and then she beat people. Even if only my grandfather occasionally thinks about my grandmother, most of the time I have to work for the family. finally survived to old age, and the children's families were worry-free and reached the time of filial piety; When he enjoyed his old age, he experienced the pain of losing his father and son in the same year. The daughters have their own household affairs; I didn't dare to visit too often. Even when he reached the age of taking care of himself, he still worried about the affairs of his sons and grandchildren. Do you think her life is worth it? Just because it's not worth it, I'm willing to work for my son's life to be better. This fetter of family affection is so realistic and cruel, just like when my mother was sweeping the floor a while ago, she complained about the three big men in the family, and I replied to the same sentence: "Mom! I say something ugly, even if you serve us so hard now; When you are old, we will not be able to serve you as you have served us. ”

Seeing that my mother hadn't closed her eyes for a few days, she just sat down in a trance and broke the water cup in her hand because she didn't grasp it steadily. It just so happened that several of our juniors rushed back; After the persuasion of a group of people, the mother was finally willing to go home and get a good night's sleep; Leaving us here for one night can be regarded as the filial piety of a few juniors. Although my mother said that it was okay to go back alone, I insisted on walking with her by the arm of my mother. We didn't say a word all the way; Maybe my mother is too tired these days to bother her. Until the door was opened and the house was entered, the mother did not rush to wash; I just walked straight to the sofa and sat there in a daze. I asked her if she was uncomfortable, and she just shook her head slightly and said she wanted to take it slowly. The silence in the living room seemed to fuel the rampant cold wind outside; Even the water in the kettle has taken on its temperament. I don't know how long, Ben is closing her eyes to recuperate; Suddenly opened his bloodshot eyes, and said in a choked voice: "Maotou! Do you know what day yesterday was? Before I could think about it, my mother immediately added: "Yesterday was my mother's birthday, and you said that it was a coincidence; Grandma just chose this day to leave. My mother's emotions became more and more excited because of these words, and I could not say comforting words at any time because of her words. Just sat quietly with her, waiting for the kitchen kettle to boil and flip the switch, and then the mother came back to her senses and got up and walked to the kitchen. When he saw that I was about to leave, he told me to find out the way and walk; Don't play with your phone with your head covered. I also told her to rest early and not to worry about what was going on over there. With the sound of their respective instructions, I gently closed the door and went all the way back; I followed my mother's words and didn't play with my phone, and the dim street lamp was just like my mixed mood at the moment; And the grayness of the sky is like a portrayal of my mother's heart.

Back to the vigil room, a room full of cousins who had rushed back from all over the world; My brother took a high-speed train from Hunan for a night, and he just arrived the first foot. A group of people sat beside their grandmother around the charcoal fire, chatting about their daily routines and asking about the current situation; No one is scared by the fact that there is a dead man lying next to them. It seems that everyone has gone back to when they were children, sitting around their grandmother and listening to her talk about interesting things from previous years. When I was really tired, I would move a few tables around to play cards or eat chicken. There are always three incense sticks burning in front of the table next to my grandmother's bed; Before leaving, the elders explained that no matter what time the table must be lit with three incense sticks, and if any one is about to burn, it must be recontinued quickly. It is said to be a very important step in the custom; I don't understand the work inside. The work of continuing the incense is done by the older cousin in the room, and every time she comes forward to light incense, she will whisper something by her grandmother's side, probably to let her old man have a good rest.

It was past four o'clock in the morning, and it was still blue-gray outside; Gone from last night's swishing cold wind. Everyone's spirit is also exhausted; I'm tired and I don't even want to turn on my phone. My eyelids finally fell, and I heard that today was the day of my grandmother's cremation; From Shanghai to this is the last day, the high-speed rail back to Shanghai is last night's ticket for 2 pm the next day. In order not to get dizzy when he hurried later, he still curled up and ran to his aunt in small steps; I found a bed where no one slept in, and took a torn cotton jacket scattered around the bed and covered it on my body. When I opened my eyes again, I opened my phone and looked at the time, it was more than seven o'clock in the morning, and the sky was completely bright with a thin layer of fog. I got up lazily, although my mind was still a little foggy, but I was still a little more energetic. Swaying to the well not far from the front of the house, the well water in Layue is not only not as cold as tap water, but slightly warm; Punching a bucket and holding it in your hand and splashing it on your face is the best way to wake up. I had a simple meal of noodles early in the morning; Knowing that most of the young people in this group were going out after middle age, some of the elders discussed coming early for lunch; So that we can fill our stomachs and send our grandmother to be cremated together, and when we take the urn and worship, we can leave early if we have personal matters.

The aunt began to discuss the matter of lunch soon after breakfast, and lunch came quickly; We also ate very well. The van that took my grandmother to be cremated stopped at the door on time and took down a stainless steel coffin from the car; The elders of the eldest aunt and husband slowly put the body of their grandmother in and got into the car together, and the juniors followed closely in several cars in the back car. After some mountain travel, the car climbed a slightly narrow uphill slope, and finally saw the words "crematorium" on the signboard in front of the courtyard. The cars stopped one after another next to the crematorium, walking through a short cement staircase; The entire courtyard was covered with white patterned tiles, and the mournful cries of the waiting room quickly infected the elders beside them. Pay the fee in the lobby; The grandmother's body was slowly pulled into the waiting room by the staff, and placed with several other unfamiliar bodies. The fewer the bodies in front of the grandmother, the more the elders cried more painfully. Only her mother cried in her throat and didn't cry, and she also responded to what she said: "When people are alive, they can think about how many days of filial piety they have, and when they die, they can be regarded as worthy of their conscience." "Unlike the previous fire method, today's electric cremation is not only convenient but also greatly reduces the time. My uncle held my grandmother's urn and gently placed it in front of the stone table outside the crematorium, and I didn't learn from others to worship with both hands; Just straightened up, bent his waist ninety degrees, and bowed deeply three times. Because compared to these formalisms, I would rather say goodbye to my grandmother sincerely; I believe that when my grandmother was separated from us, there were people waiting to leave happily. Soon after, after saying goodbye to my elders, I also got on my cousin's bus and headed to the station. In the few days I returned to Shanghai, I couldn't help but think of my grandmother's experience before and after her death; Suddenly, a wave of inspiration made me write the song "It's Dark" in my grandmother's voice, and the chorus ended with this sentence

"It's already dark and the mood is no longer loaded

In the light, you led me away"

At the time of writing this lyric; I had a very strong feeling that the end of this refrain must have been the end of my grandmother's departure.

On the return to Shanghai; Actually, it didn't last long. There are only a few days left in the Chinese New Year; The first half of the internship period also came to an end. The class supervisor who originally came with everyone had the intention of renewing the second half of the internship period with the current internship unit, from the second day of the Lantern Festival to the month before the summer vacation. But for those of us who have not really received social baptism, living a boring life every day is not counted; I also have to endure all kinds of customers from different degrees of greetings to my family, in the words of a colleague next to me: "This is making money with my mother." "Don't expect anyone to understand you, when everyone around you is going through the same ordeal; will digest it as a normal thing. An industry like customer service is completely afraid to have emotions, because there will always be some ears and eyes around you who use that damn little power to suppress you. There was no nostalgia for this kind of life, at least for me, when the class teacher called a meeting to discuss it; I was also the first to jump out against leaving the scene first, and I know that I have no scruples about the face of the class guide. But I thought in my heart that this was the only way to not only show my determination to the class guide, but also to infect other students with this free and easy momentum. Instead of being imprisoned in this bustling prison, it is better to follow a relative with a head and face to do a more comfortable job and eat comfortably. Perhaps most of the students are like me; Since coming to Shanghai, what I have suffered has long since worn away my initial yearning for it, and the result is also what I wanted. Because of the large number of students who came to Shanghai for internships, we were assigned to three different office locations. The deadlines for internships also vary, and Brother Tao and I went to the office building farthest from the dormitory; Tuyan was originally with the two of us, and then slept frequently because of work hours; happened to arrest the company's senior management and named him to dismiss him; I didn't expect this fat man to pick up the horse by mistake. After being dismissed from the original employer, because the contract has not yet expired; So he was assigned to another workplace closer to the dormitory, and he was able to sleep for more than half an hour every day. Within a few days, Brother Tao and I received a notice from the unit, saying that the contract date with the project team was until January 15th; The contract deadline for the remaining units is January 30. In fact, for me, it is of course a good thing to be able to go home early and play for half a month, but just the two of us went back like this, and I lost face somewhat. If I make half a month's less money, I can't feel sorry for me. tried to find a class guide to communicate with the internship unit, but they could only accept the result with their perfunctory mouth. The school also agreed to the plan of independent internship for students after the year, and originally said hello to my cousin; decided to work under him after the year, he is a game streamer who only did this year; It is said that when the performance is good, you can earn more than 30,000 yuan in two months. He plans to open an online store in the next year and hand it over to me to take care of, although the salary is not high; But it's also a leisurely one. And then because of some things; The plan for an online store has failed.

Originally, because of the confusion of failing in work for a while and not being able to find a home, even if it was the New Year, I felt upset; It just so happened that a few days at the beginning of the year, the school sent another notice, stripped of the redundant official tone, and roughly rejected the student's self-internship plan; All students are required to attend classes as scheduled. That's a good thing for me, at least because I don't have to worry about running out of land. In fact, for schools, we are just leftovers that have been hollowed out; The newly built dormitory building is definitely not expected to be able to live in, and the places where we sleep are also interspersed with the dormitories of various departments. How do those freshmen think that the new house they live in now depends on our tuition fees for the past five years? A few years later, a new building suddenly rises in front of their eyes, and they will grit their teeth and scold their mother. It is obviously superfluous to go back to school and experience school life for a few months again, not only because we think so, but also because the teachers show the same intentions. After such a trip to Shanghai, I didn't catch anything good, but I came back with an inertia. I feel sleepy everywhere, and when I go to class, I sleep and sleep when I go back to the dormitory. Not to mention going to an Internet café for fun, even if you lose interest in your mobile phone. Repeat the same rhythm of life every day, and the days will pass quickly; A few months seemed like a blink of an eye. Neither of us is surprised, and there really is nothing to be nostalgic about. Half a month before graduation, in order to cope with every exam related to the smooth acquisition of the graduation certificate; Started to get busy asking around about ways to cheat. Even if you prepare several layers of insurance in advance in order to be safe, you can not tolerate any more frequent variables. On the day of the graduation photo, for the sake of a grand sense of ceremony; There were a few female students who made a special trip to call on the whole class to raise funds and rented a set of bachelor's uniforms for everyone. We laymen have always been uninterested in taking pictures, and what we wear is just a picture. But those female students don't seem to think a lot about it, and it's impossible to be beautiful without foil and atmosphere.

Different from the lively scene when other majors graduated, the day before their respective runs; The days that shouldn't have been peaceful were spent as peacefully as ever. There were no casual dinners, no graduation parties, and no superficial activities were prepared. The relationship of five years only feels like a stranger at the moment, yes; So you won't be surprised, and there's nothing to be nostalgic about, as if everything is just for the sake of going through the motions. In previous years, the first day of the new semester and the last day before leaving school; and a few old brothers in the dormitory will also organize to go to the cafeteria to pack seven or eight dishes, buy some drinks and snacks, talk and laugh and eat. But since he came back from Shanghai, he seemed to have been baptized, and seemed to have lost interest in anything; If you have spare time, you would prefer to lay out on the bed lazily. Sitting on the highest concrete steps of the college's "Avenue to Heaven", facing the endless steps and the dense staggered figures on the steps; The eyes were squinted by the dusty wind, though uncomfortable; But it is suitable for the confusion in my heart at this moment. The doubts that sprung up in my mind and the sudden uneasiness in my heart mingled together, making people even more sluggish. Think about it, what have you learned in the past five years? Or what did you learn? Even if you want to work, what can you do? The more helpless people are, the only thing that comes to mind is their father and mother. involuntarily picked up the mobile phone and dialed the string of numbers that were very familiar without notes, and a few beeps passed; Although the environment on the other end of the phone is a little noisy, the voice is still clear after a long absence. My mother said that she and her father came to work in Zhejiang a while ago, and there are many jobs posted in the labor market here. My father's cook and my mother's flat-turner were all found from above, and I wanted to work with confidence; If you don't have a place to go after graduation, you can also go to Zhejiang together, and you will definitely have work to do. Before this, I heard that there are many owners of online store business in Zhejiang, and even if they are not good; With the customer service experience that came back from Shanghai, I can also mix and eat, and it is not a bad thing to go over and see it.

On the morning of separation, there were only three brothers left in the dormitory, including me, Ah Qiu, and my brother; The fat man contacted his father last night to drive a car, and he brought his luggage home, and Tofu has not lived in school since he got sick. After packing our respective luggage, we didn't think about talking about the future; The recognition of each other seems to have been known for a long time. After a while, Brother Tao answered the phone; Uh-huh, oh-oh a few times, got up and picked up the big bags of luggage around him, and turned back to us at the door before leaving, and said, "Let's go." "Hmm." He said it plainly, and so did our reply.

took his luggage and went to a fast-food restaurant outside the school with Ah Qiu to have a rice bowl; squeezed into a bus bound for a shuttle bus stop, congestion on the bus; As soon as I got in the car, I couldn't find any trace of Ah Qiu. Trapped in a corner of the carriage unable to move, smelling the combination of foot odor and perfume odor; I tried to resist but couldn't help but adapt, because this will be my life for many years to come. Although the crowd flocked out of the car, Ah Qi was still in the back of the crowd; He hurried into the station without bothering to wait, and the first thing was to find the shuttle bus home. Because the section of the county seat is relatively far, the batch of round-trip shuttle buses is the least compared to other locations. The county seat of Ah Qiu's hometown is not very far, and you can see most of them at a glance in the specified direction when you enter the station. After going around in circles, I didn't manage to touch a little. "No?" "Nope." "Shall I go?" "Hmm." It's still such a bland communication, and we're used to it; It seems that such a blandness is far more warm than politeness.

According to my mother's arrangement, I was asked to go back; When I went to Zhejiang, some unused objects were put away, and the family had not been home for half a year; Grab a broom and dust off the cobwebs on the ceiling staircase handles. I booked a high-speed rail ticket at ten o'clock the next day, and spent the night at home after cleaning the house; lest it be easy to forget things in a hurry. I have a special habit; If you need to travel by car the next day, you will open the curtains in your room before going to bed the night before; If you wake up to the sun the next morning, it will be a good day to go out, and if you want to say that the weather forecast is not accurate, right? Early in the morning, the sun shone straight through the window like a barrier to my bed; As soon as you open your eyes, you can see the dust roaming under the pillar of light. The things were packed up last night, and I walked to the sink to wash up briefly; Looking at myself in the mirror with messy hair and little stubble. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, adults have to be like adults. Close the door, although there is plenty of time; But the pace on his feet is unconsciously fast, and he always wants to pretend to be in a hurry; Let others also make themselves feel that they are in a hurry.

The time was just right, and I didn't wait long on the side of the road before I got on the bus; When you come to the county seat, you can transfer to the bus and get to the high-speed rail station. Unlike the time I returned to Shanghai, although it was not very late; The waiting hall was already full. At first glance, most of them were young people my age. But when I arrived at the waiting hall, I naturally couldn't feel at ease; I often don't know which one to look at on the waiting screen and mobile phone. then got into the car, but closed his eyes and fell asleep with peace of mind; It seems that I am not afraid to sit on the station again. Zhejiang is very close to our city, and the high-speed rail is about more than an hour away. followed the flow of people and slowly walked out of the station; turned on the mobile phone and booked an online car-hailing car according to the address given by the mother, and the location was very remote; You can see some low-flying passenger planes along the road. After walking for another twenty minutes or so, I got off at the entrance of a community that didn't look bustling; Most of the surrounding areas are old houses. The layout of the subdivision is complex; Inside, there are many corners that go around and around. There are no signs on the side walls of each building, even if there is a telephone call; It took a while to meet my mother. I saw that I was carrying a pile of luggage on my back; While my mother trotted forward to share the luggage for me, she did not forget to count me down in a tone of disgust and joy. There were about five or six bends along the way; Walking into an alley, the second floor of a building on the side of the road is the house they rented. Although the room is small, it is quite well equipped; The stove in the kitchen and the water heater in the separate bathroom are all equipped, and the bed and door are very close; Just enough distance to open the door. A table is placed next to the bed to serve as a cooking table or a bedside table, and opposite is also a table that can be used to put things. Although the objects in the whole room are clear at a glance, they are also crowded and a little difficult to move. The rest of the clutter can only be placed under the bed one by one. The flat workshop under the building opposite the house is where my mother works, and there are about twenty or thirty flat cars in it, and women from ordinary families around will go there for convenience. My father worked in a slightly larger restaurant, leaving early and returning late; It's half an hour to get home from work at nine o'clock. My mother was often too lazy to take care of food when she started to work, and she was really hungry and fainted; I found some snacks from home that I don't know when I bought them, and I put them on the barbed water pad, saying that it was not time-saving and troublesome.

Seeing that I could come, my mother was naturally happy. For this reason, she also got off work early and took me to Sister Ying's for a meal. is the daughter of Aunt He Jiao mentioned above, who later married into another town; With her husband's family of five, she moved to Zhejiang. Both career and life are also thriving, and not long ago I bought a house in Zhejiang. My mother originally planned to cook a simple meal at her own house, but then Sister Ying heard that I was coming; I went home early to cook a table of delicacies, and repeatedly beckoned my mother to pick up the wind and wash the dust for me. At that time, the house they bought was not delivered, and the family had to huddle into a small rental house; three bedrooms and one living room, a son and two daughters with an old man; The three rooms are narrow, but they are barely enough to live in. It is quite impressive to say that the kitchen does not smoke, but whenever the vegetables are fried; It must have filled the room with thick fumes and unstoppable coughing. I don't like to talk at the dinner table; When someone asked, I answered, and the job was gone; It's quiet and comfortable like a child. Some people of all ages seem to be able to shake out endless things when they talk about the sky, and the longer they talk, the happier they are; My mother was a happy talker until I couldn't see the basketball hoop downstairs at all; She was willing to come down unsatisfied. On the way back, I was not in a hurry to go back; And he went to the hotel where his father worked. Although the decoration of the hotel looks ordinary, the bamboo basket hanging on the wall looks close to the people; The dining tables of the 90s are lined up vertically with four benches, simple and friendly. walked to the back kitchen with his mother, and saw his father's busy figure at a glance; didn't rush to call him, walked up to him lightly and still didn't make a sound. Seeing that he inadvertently raised his head and was about to turn around, he immediately reacted in a trance and looked at me in surprise, "Yay? "The appearance of a sound; Although it is all an expected picture, isn't this the family affection of reunion after a long absence? When his father took off his uniform after work, the new job not only followed his interests; The body is still fatter than years ago. When I learned that I was going to look for a job in the neighborhood, my father seemed to be an expert; Say where to see some job recruitment for graphic design, and which public recruitment column has a bunch of recruitment online store customer service announcements. I want to relax my mind and come here without worrying about not having a job. He was in a hurry to call his boss to take me to the largest labor market in the neighborhood to take a day off.

This remote town in Zhejiang, although it looks inconspicuous and ordinary; But the sound of fried fritters and pancakes and the regular sound of fried rice noodles matching the hustle and bustle of people coming and going in the morning market; It's as lively as a festival. The labour market is at the forefront of the morning market; From afar, you can see the flow of people from the inside to the periphery several times. My father said that every day I went to work and lived here, it was like this, and it was a year of men, women and children; Those who know words and those who don't know words will crowd here in a bunch. On the green cement platform at the entrance of the labor market, there will be a row of middle-aged people wearing camouflage clothes in liberation shoes; They would arrive early in the morning almost every day, waiting for the familiar vans to pull into the intersection ahead; They will swarm up with yelling and shouting, picking up the car to do the day's odd jobs; Wages and lunches are like picking up a coincidence for them, and China is the place where there is no shortage of labor. You could say that everyone lives for themselves; It can also be said that they don't live for themselves. The entire labor market is lined with triangular wooden frames; A rectangular board was placed on both sides of the wooden frame, on which all the signboards were affixed; There are a total of eight such wooden frames from the inside out. circulation outside the house and on the street; The patronage is also quite smooth, and as soon as you enter the house, you are surrounded by people; It's extremely difficult to move a position. Throughout the morning, the flow of people gradually loosened with the meal; went around in a circle, and I probably got to the bottom of it. Most of the job announcements are sales, customer service, and assembly line jobs. A stupid person like me naturally can't do the work of his mouth, and the assembly line has been guilty of a crime since Dongguan; I don't want to repeat the mistakes of the past. I really don't like the customer service industry, but I don't have hard work in my hands after all. Since you can't escape the life of being a wage earner; Why not choose a job with a decent environment? Most of the content of customer service recruitment announcements is not bad, and there is no technology to speak of. A total of three companies that are literally good were selected, and the first two had one phone turned off and one was in arrears. Fortunately, the third company's phone was actually connected; The boss's voice sounds very young, and eighty percent has just started a business not long ago. In fact, I didn't plan to consider this third customer service position, and the salary of 6,000 to 8,000 was mostly fake in private outlets at that time; But the priority of PS software mentioned at the end of the announcement really attracted me. PS After all, it was my major in a junior college; If it involves professional knife edge work, it makes sense to start in the early 6,000s. After a brief understanding of each other's situation on the phone, the boss learned that it was a fresh graduate, and he didn't plan to say anything about it; I learned that my professional counterpart also had experience in customer service in Shanghai, and then he was willing to talk to me face-to-face.

According to the address provided by the boss, I drove to a small office building that was mostly just built and did not take care of the decoration; The elevator is surrounded by only red lacquered synthetic wood panels, as if it were a sedan chair. Take the elevator to the second floor; The cacophony of machining noises came to the face, except for the two offices that were simply painted white; The remaining empty bungalows are still made of concrete slabs. Away from the doorway sits an office with six computers stacked back to back. There aren't a lot of people; A young man and a woman sat in the direction of the door, and a slightly larger looking girl sat opposite, staring at the screen and tapping quickly on the keyboard. In the adjacent office, you can see a coffee table and a desk with a computer, and an old black leather sofa on the back of the desk; On the sofa sat a man who did not look very young, with dark skin; It's not a thin body, and it's not strong. The hooked nose has a pair of black glasses, and the unshaven eyes are very sharp. It wasn't until he spoke up that he realized that he was the boss on the phone just now. During the face-to-face detailed interview, I felt quite satisfied with the general situation I presented. It also roughly talks about the basic job content and salary conditions; Their online store sells customized holiday gifts, printing the LOGO provided by customers on the products, taking the flashlight fan they recently bought; The cost price can be doubled several times the profit when the logo is printed by hand, and the ones who come to the door are also used to do activities with large demand. The probation period is 3,000 a month, and the performance commission is 4,000 after the regularization. Although it was very different from the announcement, I didn't think to ask anything; How much did you expect on the way here, maybe the performance will be on the side of PS? I don't bother to go to the labor market to go around and make phone calls; I said that I would go to work tomorrow, and I would always be able to go home and indulge for a day. On the way back, my heart was like a boulder on the edge of a cliff that finally fell to the ground; In addition to joy, he did not forget to speculate with his father about the classification of performance, and his father was naturally obedient and did not listen; I just felt that everything I said made sense, and then I strongly echoed it with a relieved smile.

In fact, I was too immature, and my full sense of expectation was almost shattered after three or five days of work. Although the workload is much easier than in Shanghai, you can listen to the sound of noisy slag pouring into the machine outside the door; It's as if someone is deliberately scraping the glass with a razor blade outside, which makes people feel uneasy. is also greedy for a proprietress who is anxious all the time and wants to eat people; The air pressure in the entire office was extremely cold in order to balance out the heat inside her. Because I had just entered society, I had lost the protection of my school and the favoritism of my parents, and I didn't even have the ability to bear the condemnation; The extremely fragile psychological defense line can't even stand the slightest grievance. Just for the shipping problems in all regions, the proprietress has warned me many times; But I never paid attention to it, and just blindly relied on the inquiry. People's patience will wear out sooner or later, not to mention an impatient person like the proprietress . After I got into the habit of asking and not remembering any problem, the proprietress finally yelled impatiently: "How many times have I told you?" You're going to remember it! You need to ask any question, what are you asking for? This is a very reasonable truth, but it makes me, a hairy boy, feel so wronged. Isn't it just asking you a few questions? Is it necessary to be so angry? On the eve of work, I thought I was relieved to go to the toilet; The proprietress thought I was going back. The anger that had been suppressed for a long time in his heart instantly surged, and he roared angrily at others: "How many times have I told him, I can't remember it; Stupid as a pig. Unexpectedly, this conversation happened to be bumped into by me who walked to the door. Tiredness and grievances instantly filled the whole body, and he stood at the door at a loss but didn't dare to speak; When I met my boss who was coming out of the office, I seemed to have become accustomed to the blandness. He didn't expect me to be here; Then he showed a surprised and embarrassed expression, and pointed at the proprietress who was in a frenzy. Just a pair of eyes; The boss's sharp eyes were like a thin silver needle piercing the grievances that had been full of grievances these days. Squatted down on the spot and curled into a ball of silent sobs, but the boss did not speak; I just stood quietly on the sidelines, waiting for my emotions to gradually calm down; Then he whispered to me and went to his office. I don't have the heart to listen to some words of comfort and popularity. However, although the words of the boss often appear in the ears in different ways, it sounds realistic and contradictory; But it is the foundation that those of us who have just entered the society want to appreciate. "Man! No matter how much you are wronged in life, you have to swallow it and rot in your stomach. "Actually, let it go, it's just the immaturity of my single thinking. On the contrary, I feel that the proprietress is quite polite to me, what grievances can there be? Whenever I feel that I am constantly growing, I have already faded away from the bad habits brought by childishness; Now that I think about it, it's just that the symptoms don't go to the roots.

I worked here for exactly a month, but halfway through the rent was due; The company also changed positions. Originally, I wanted to make another plan at the end of the year, but the boss suddenly asked all employees to sign a one-year bundled labor contract; For such a long-term "deed of sale", I am naturally unwilling. The boss didn't embarrass me, and transferred a month's probationary salary to me, which was considered a good reunion. A month of customer service work, aside from the contact with the boss lady, is not nothing. The boss always arranges some new work content from time to time, so that I can slowly get in touch with the details of the backend operation of the online store. Then my blind self-confidence grew; I feel that it is not difficult to open an online store at all, instead of becoming the boss lady who said "to be a customer service is to serve customers unconditionally, you just have to come cheaply", why not turn over and be the boss and have the final say? Speaking of leaving, it reminds me of an interesting person. A woman who looked to be in her thirties, but was only in her early twenties when asked. It is said to be a relative of the boss, with long burnt black hair tied in a single ponytail; dark and old skin, with an associate professor-level eye; The two exposed yellow front teeth did not highlight the cuteness, but the beard on the side of the mouth was very conspicuous. a loud voice that will break as long as he speaks; Paired with a dress of black shorts that I think is fashionable and flesh-colored stockings, I really take the word "old" to the extreme. From time to time, I also talked to a female colleague and bragged about my talents. for her self-absorption; I didn't say anything about it, and we barely interacted with each other. And she is responsible for customer service and production room docking customization problems, which is strange to say; Whenever she came across my list, she would always pick some thorns and come to me and reprimand me in an extremely arrogant tone. Even though I tactfully persuaded her to keep her voice down, it made her head even more; There seems to be some great enmity that does not share the sky; Such radical prejudice can only appear in the two of us men. If the problem of the boss lady is that I think about things alone, then this woman's thoughts can't be perceived even if I want to wear it. Fortunately, it was simply gone; As long as you can't hear the unprecedented male duck voice, it's a great thing, after all, as long as it's a woman, no one will want it.

The day after I left my job, I started my own online store with great interest; The store was applied for shortly before leaving, and it was only an empty store that confirmed the attribute category. In my mind, the boss can make a fortune by selling some gadgets; As long as there is goods in the store, there is no worry about no business. Moreover, many source platforms can support dropshipping; There are no worries at all about starting a business without risk. believes that the chores arranged by the boss are the essence of opening an online store; Opening the great sea mouth to his parents, the simplicity of his thoughts is self-evident. I didn't think about the three styles of operation and promotion activities, and even the details that the product title needs to pay attention to. At first, I discussed with my parents, and the department store category they valued the most was also the category. Just like a mobile stall on the side of the road, there are a wide range of styles, many goods, cheap prices, and daily necessities, so there are naturally more people to see them. The selection also has a variety of layers of screening; On the first day of the opening, the excitement of my father and mother was about to smoke; Although I posted it in all the large and small chat groups, there were really some relatives and friends who came to buy some things. There were more than 100 visitors in one night, and it was hard to think that it would be difficult to make a fortune. The bleak background data of the next few days was like a slap in the face, fanning me back from that sweet dream. Even if you sign up for an official event in the future; spent money to do some promotion, and watched the customers who came to the promotion continue to deduct the promotion fee; But there is no conversion rate. tried his best but had no effect, and wanted to learn from the Internet; Most of the articles are just to deceive some views, and the content is flashy. The more anxious people are, the more confused they become, and then the live broadcast entrance that pop-ups pop-up windows on the online store platform that they click on by chance; For the obsessed simplicity of mind, it is the lesson that money is paid. Nominally, it is advertised as an open class for newcomers, and each class lasts forty-five minutes; Take a ten minutes to popularize some details of the products on the shelves, and then use the guise of taking the products as examples; Guide you to see the data traffic and conversion rate in the store, and say that this is the online store of one of her students; Rank in the top 3 in the total sales of a certain activity category. I took the opportunity to tell us that we used the wrong operation method and did not know how to use the free traffic given by the platform. It also deliberately displays the promotion interface to cover up the ears and steal the bell, the rhythm is tightly controlled, and there is nothing unattractive about the content of each progress. The tone of hatred of iron is full of skillful words; At least I fell for her seduction. Without the slightest hesitation, he paid more than 3,000 tuition; opened the paid video she gave, and was determined to earn back the 3,000 yuan in tuition. Carefully take the pen to record every knowledge point; The results of practice are still completely unrepercussive, and many years later I learned that those contents were details that had been obsolete; The so-called live broadcast is nothing more than a video prepared in advance. Of course, there is one-on-one tutoring, and the first thing is to ask me to spend money on promotion; It is said that free traffic will be introduced only on the basis of a certain amount of traffic. If you don't see the effect of following the steps she has explained; Then she fell into silence for the most part. The most common sentence on her lips is, "The other students have done it, but you have no effect." When I accidentally contacted another classmate to inquire, this sentence was also a regular in their chat logs. But what about us? They have a platform for shelves, and we're just a handful of green leeks.

The father is a person who is very anxious, in his cognition; Any form of entrepreneurship is like a quick gamble, and if you put in it, you have to get an immediate return. In fact, I can understand his thoughts, and I give him full of expectations. Since I learned my lesson, I have also tried to change the category; I have sold men's and women's clothing, children's clothing, and shoes, and I have used countless methods but there has been no sign of it. I also understand why the boss will sell some small categories with low demand, and it is impossible for a new store without weight to get traffic without an equal proportion of investment in promotion. The failure to achieve results is accompanied by increasing pressure, and the daily complaints and ridicule of my father. I became irritable; Quarrels with my father are naturally indispensable, and I often quarrel with them because of some trivial things. The IQ tax I paid made me see myself and reality clearly, and the long-term depression made me want to go back to the circle of young people. There is still a gap between parents and children, and reunion is necessary; But it is not suitable for long-term cohabitation. Contacted Ah Qiu; Before graduating, he found a game company in the county at the school's job fair, and he had been in the class for almost half a year. It just so happens that the company has recently recruited people; asked him to say hello to an acquaintance and set a ticket to go back the next day; The right life is cruel. When I was leaving, my mother shared some of my luggage and went downstairs with me to wait for the bus on the side of the road. I remember the expression on my mother's face very clearly, and it was the same as the look on her face when she sent me to college that year. Constant separation and reunion is for what to gain in life; Come back to your senses and you're lost forever. In Márquez's "One Hundred Years of Solitude", he wrote, "When your parents are alive, there is a cushion between you and death; When your parents leave, you sit directly on top of death. ”

An hour's drive with a large bag of luggage; Kicking out of the station with scattered steps. Because in order to let me have a standard Mandarin, my parents would always deliberately use the Mandarin with a foreign accent and earth cannon to talk to me. Although there was an improvement in the acquired exposure to vocal music; But when it comes to ordinary speech, not only has it not escaped the hometown characteristics of Mandarin with no distinction between flat tongue and pronunciation; The dialect is not spoken smoothly either. But I was very interested in listening to the smooth dialect of the elderly elders on the side of the road, and no matter how loud my voice was, I felt kind. Take an online taxi to the address on the location of Ah Qiu, the location is very remote; The walls of the house have been sallow from the sun. Walking up to the third floor, there is a three-bedroom living room with age; Because the three bedrooms are subletted, the gate does not need to be locked. The room was simple with a double bed, a white old-fashioned bedside table and a black bench, and outside was an open-air sun as wide as the room. He said that the rent here is very cheap because there is no water heater, but in the middle of the night you can always hear the sound of rats climbing onto the balcony and grinding their teeth. Today, Ah Qiu was resting, and I heard that there were not a few recruitment places left, so he personally took me to the lying company. drove to a prosperous office building and took the elevator to the eighteenth floor; As soon as you enter the door, you will have the atmosphere of an Internet café, with a standard reception desk and sofa; Rows of computers playing games, and the passionate shouts; At one point, I wondered if this was a serious job. With the introduction of Ah Qiu, there is naturally no problem with the interview; Shortly after leaving the office; I received a call from HR informing me to go to work tomorrow. The work is barely a serious job, but because of my straightforward personality, I really can't sell it because of my hypocrisy and flattery; Is it that I have no fate with this job? The new workstation is assigned by a team leader in charge of personnel; I've also repeatedly confirmed whether the lunch break is free time. The head of the department who managed the leader of the sub-group was temporarily assigned to bring this group of newcomers, and he happened to sit next to me; Seeing that he often sneaks through videos with his mobile phone, I think this company is the right one. During my lunch break, I was playing with my phone and was bumped by him just entering the door. lost his good face in an instant, "Who let you play with your phone?" "Didn't the HR team leader say that the lunch break is free time?" I'm a little confused. "Free time is for you to sleep, not for you to play with your phone; I want to play with my phone and go home. "According to the usual routine, I should immediately go downstairs and buy a pack of cigarettes to put a smile on his face. It was because I always hated these things that he aroused his special care for me. In the past three days, as long as the mobile phone appears in my hand; The situation is as bad as he said, and I can still stay here with the face of Ahma; But you can't disturb his Yaxing who watched the video. How could I let Ah Qiang sell such a dirty face? Until he hunched over and skillfully typed the small report, conveying that the supervisor was talking to me; Tell me about the dismissal of me and the whole process from the time I left the office; There is no hesitation and nostalgia.

The distracted walked on the side of the street; It's not that I'm sad because I lost my job, it's just frustration; I don't understand why this society can only survive by hypocrisy and is frustrated. Such frustration is a high wall in the heart; Complex emotions make the heart congested. At this moment, the only catharsis that can be thought of is the mother, and the mother's words are still accompanied by the noisy sound of machines; But it sounds warmer and clearer than ever. The mixed tastes in my heart poured out to my mother like a torrential rain; Complaining that I can't adapt to the society in front of me to survive, and I'm useless like a waste. Mother only said this: "Don't care what others think of you, you have to believe in yourself." If even you give up on yourself; Then you're really a waste. If life is smooth sailing, then how can it still be called life? These truths, which I have heard countless times, are now coming out of my mother's mouth; But it was like a new lesson.

I once read an article that said, "Everyone grows up four times." The first growth is to find that you are not the center of the world; will not compete for the chicken legs that have just entered the table, and will even choose to give them to their younger siblings. The second time you grow up, you will find a strong contrast between your imaginary self and reality, and the reality is so realistic that you are not obsessed with the dreams of your childhood. The third growth is to find yourself powerless in the present and the future; Many things will go in an unsatisfactory direction, and accidents will always break the original plan. In the fourth growth, you find that you have the people you want to protect and the responsibilities you shoulder. All the setbacks in life will be swept away when you step through the door. "I don't know how many times I've grown; Although I have never looked down on myself, I also feel that I am becoming more and more ordinary. It seems to interpret the truth that this society will give you opportunities, but you can't let you choose. I began to accept some jobs that I hated in my bones, and went to work as a telesales officer for a sanitary ware company on the edge of a national highway; It's really a place that doesn't cost money, and you can only see a small fried shop converted into a private house within two kilometers. In order to make a living, he began to practice eloquence in dealing with people; In the process, you will find that anything you can't accept suddenly becomes your source of life; Eventually, it will become a habit. It was there that I felt the taste of flatbread for the first time; Every boss's speech is so passionate and long. He will always say with confidence: "You can rest assured, I am the most willing to spend money; As long as you do well here, you can get what you want here. "But I can't pay my salary for a few months, and even a meager commission will play word games with you. But before my mind was cloudy, I was heavily nurtured; I didn't hesitate to bite into the pie. Not only do you blindly think you can make a show here; In his ignorance, he also deceived Ah Qiu, although Ah Qiu did not want to stay there any longer; But I always felt like I had cheated him. I heard him say that the original game company was half a year after he left his job; A mobile phone was also rewarded to each employee who had been sitting for a whole year.

Of course, the company is not all people without a score, before Ah Qi came; I have the best relationship with Dali. He is a relative of the boss; Because I quit my job and wanted to find a job in the office, I was probably introduced to me about a week ago. Dali is a very simple and kind-hearted person, because the price of stir-fried food in the nearby small fried shop is relatively expensive; Every day, I would stir-fry one dish and make a few more boxes of lunches for two meals. Dali's home is relatively close, and you can bring food every day; I noticed that I always had rice wrapped in leftover soup for dinner, and I didn't have any money. Since then, he has always deliberately prepared more meat dishes, and deliberately left all the excuses for me to eat; From time to time, I would buy some snacks and fruits to bring to us. It always bothers him to carry something, and he never refuses; There's always a real reliability in getting along with him. Brother Yun is the one I admire the most among the few people I have come into contact with, and this may be the hard work of people who shoulder the family. He is always working hard, and his efforts are never opportunistic. In just two months, from learning to become a department manager, I can always see from him what sincerity is. Brother Yun said that when he was a child, the conditions in his family were very difficult; In order to provide for the school of the two children and the expenses of the whole family. His father resolutely chose to work as a coal miner, although the income was good; The accompanying dangers are equally important. Within a few years, he contracted tuberculosis; In order to be able to leave more things to the child, he repeatedly insisted on giving up the treatment. A man who can be generous in the face of death for the sake of his family; Maybe that's the legacy. Inheritance is like a hump on the back of a camel, and he does not disappear in the old camel; And it will become even taller on the back of a young camel.

Maybe it's been a long time of isolation, the day after I resigned from the sales company; and Ah Qi went around the square of the county seat. Listen to a band of several old men and women under the gazebo; Holding the Chinese folk music performance of "Jasmine", I also feel very tasteful; It seems that liking silence and being isolated from the fireworks of the world are two different things. Originally, I contacted Ah Qiu to go to an outsourcing company to do a picture review; Because of the resignation of personnel, the time to arrive at the post has been delayed again and again. Then we went to another novel review company, which was also outsourced; It was in this company that I met Jiahui. Most of the people in the company are young, and the working atmosphere is not as rigid and boring as the previous work, although some colleagues will inevitably have some quirks; But in this environment of teasing and laughing with each other, time always has to pass faster. In addition to the office environment, the accommodation here is one of the best in our county's small businesses. Standard Quadruple Apartment; two wide wooden bunk beds, a large wardrobe next to the bed, and an LCD TV hanging on the wall; A standard two-seater computer desk and even a coffee table. The 24-hour hot water supply in the private bathroom is like staying in a hotel. He has been working here for a month, and more and more new employees have joined the company; Xuan Xuan is one of them. He originally worked at Ah Qiu's original game company, and he started with Ah Qiu's resignation; The acquaintances of the same batch also left one after another, and the original atmosphere was lost; Xuan Xuan also left. The working hours here are also special; Two days off and one day off, one morning shift and one night overnight shift 12 hours alternate. I like this kind of shift very much, although the monthly shift hours are the same as 996 hours, and the rest time can be caged; I always feel like I've earned it. Xuan Xuan came here to be considered the right one, not only made money; I also found a beautiful girlfriend. When Huihui first came to the company for an interview, she thought that she would become the same beauty in our mouths, with tender skin like a newborn baby; The eyes are still big and translucent, and the plump apple muscles will make people forget her age when they laugh, so they also get the nickname "Meat Dudu". Standing with Xuan Xuan, who wears his eyes and shows an elegant and scholarly atmosphere, na! Talented and beautiful. If you have enough energy to make up for music, and want to buy the planned musical instruments and recording equipment with the discount of Double 11, you will be particularly stingy in terms of food and clothing. Breakfast in the company canteen is a buffet; Six yuan for a meal, more than a dozen kinds of all-you-can-eat. Every breakfast I would eat my stomach up to my throat; Carry a good meal at noon, and go back from work to cook noodles with hot pot base. It won't cost more than ten dollars to eat for a whole day; More than 10,000 online shopping orders have been saved in this way. Sometimes I think it's actually good to live such an ordinary life; can be ups and downs; The more it is in ordinary people, the more it appears.

I am also confused about the situation, it is said that the boss of the company thinks that the number of people and the workload of our department are not equal; Be in a hurry to lay off employees. Then the supervisor also came up with a random inspection, in fact, it was a comprehensive assessment of the newcomer at first; Because the supervisor doesn't have that idle time; It was replaced by spot checks. To say that except for a few old employees, none of us newcomers have a bottom in their hearts; Whether the questions of the spot check have been dealt with or not, and whether they can be answered comprehensively, no one dares to say. The office is empty-hearted, and at the same time, I don't forget to ridicule who is the briquette, I dare not follow the discussion; It's as if the well-behaved child before the teacher's roll call will be spared. But the facts show that it is better to follow the ridicule, and the target of the spot check is only because the supervisor came to the water dispenser to pick up a glass of water; It just so happened that my station was next to the water dispenser, and I was just about to face a sudden; Something even more sudden. Although the supervisor's question is not difficult, it involves more than one answer. In such a stressful state; The brain will still be temporarily blank. Like an ordinary drama; No matter how many notes I make; There will only be three words on the director's lips: "What else?" ”。 Until I can't say the next word; She will skillfully instruct the team leader next to her: "You tell him." At this time, no matter what the team leader says, the same point of view is correct; Within a few days, the notice that I was sent to the 996 team came down. Walking on the side of the street, my heart felt like I had fallen into a room without doors and windows. Why do you work as much as you can every day, and in the end it is so embarrassing. Why did you just take the steps you planned, but you were once again excluded by life? These nonsensical things seem to be coming at me, and my chest is about to explode. Fortunately, the supervisor took care of me and didn't fire me directly.

When I returned to the dormitory, I didn't pick up the instrument immediately as usual, but just sat on the edge of the bed and was stunned. re-plan how much time is left after work every day, when you come back, eat, exercise and fitness, and wash; Rushing to study is not as meticulous as before. When I have mixed feelings, the only person I can think of is my mother. Thinking of chatting with my mother for a while to relieve the depression in my heart, the moment my mother's kind voice sounded in my ears; It was like a warm current in the cold winter, completely breaking my last strength. Hearing my sobbing, my mother became anxious; The more I kept asking, the more I broke down crying. The voice that occasionally made me feel impatient; It's so warm at the moment. Since I was an adult, I have only experienced similar feelings once with my brother. It was when I was in junior college, and I wanted to earn some money during the summer vacation and followed my brother to Hunan; I heard him say that it was all simple work, and when I arrived, I realized that it was a house sale. The non-stop harassing phone calls made me feel like every second was tormenting. Some inquiry; The factory where Que Fukang works is just looking for a group of summer workers. At that time, I was more willing to buy some energy than to touch the bomb every day. I can't resist my stubbornness; My brother still bought me a ticket back. In order to bring me to Hunan, I spent less than three or two thousand before and after eating, drinking, and having fun; Never blamed me for the whole thing. So I earned money and there was a place to help him, and I never borrowed it. Accidents will always happen the more you look forward to things. On the third day of waiting for the interview in the factory, the notice that the personnel department was full was like a slap in the face; Slapped hard in my face. When I talked about it on the phone with my mother, my father happened to be sitting next to me; He didn't agree with my idea of coming back, thinking that I just wanted to come back and find a playmate. Something like this happened, which confirmed his suspicions. "Don't you just want to go back and play with those brothers? What else do you say you can't go to work, just play if you want! I won't be able to feed you for a few years. You're just useless. "Sentences of cool words are like ice needles repeatedly crossing my heart, helpless and aggrieved; Hung up without even having a chance to refute. The false accusation pushed me to the brink of collapse, but I don't smoke or drink; Desperate to find someone to talk to. After hesitating, I dialed my brother's phone, but in fact, the person who was most sorry for the whole thing was my brother; But he didn't mock me because things had changed. Listen quietly to me breaking down and crying; Quietly waiting for my emotions to gradually calm down, and give me tolerance and comfort like a mother. If a father's love is as majestic as a mountain, all the places he passes are cliffs. Mother's love is as tender as water, and can be transformed into any shape you want to care for you. Then the brother is like a shady tree in the mountains, a boat floating in the water. One day your fatigue can't be relieved by a box of cigarettes or a glass of wine; Please pluck up the courage to give your family a call.

The work of the 996 team is very boring, and the monthly salary of more than 2,000 is that there are no boys before I am transferred to the group. Towards the end of the year, there is no hope of staying in this company; I found my supervisor and approved my resignation request, and I was ready to do it again next year. After the year, I found a new job on an online recruitment platform, responsible for beautifying the products on the online shopping platform, which is also my favorite job so far. The 10 o'clock work time in the morning is naturally very fond of me as a person who can't get up early. The basic salary of two thousand and a half, a set of goods is counted as a commission of one dollar; Completing the required amount each day is also rewarded. My workstation is right in the dead end of the camera; If the goods can't come out in the background, you can still stealthily paddle. In the first month of study, the salary of more than 4,000 is considered good. If you touch the right method, your hands will get hotter and hotter; The top three performances every month, the salary is also less than 5,000. The only thing that makes people feel bad is the atmosphere of the office, as if immersed in a court drama every day; It's all intrigue, and Leng Buding will give you a knife in the back. Occasionally, I have a dinner with Ah Qiu Tofu, and I heard that there is such a comfortable job; Several times they came to me to ask about recruitment. Finally, I received a notice from my supervisor that I wanted to recruit a group of people to replace the summer workers who were about to start school. Tofu has just returned from Nanchang due to a recurrence of an old illness and is an unemployed vagrant. Not to mention the increase in the workload of the original novel company, the salary is getting lower and lower; The more tired you are; He submitted his resignation the same day I told him about the recruitment. Thinking that I could finally find a decent job for Ah Qiu; It's worthy of the last time he came to sell the company. There is no need for an interview for internal recommendations, and the probationary assessment has been successfully passed. In order to make it more convenient to live, we also rented a house nearby for half a year. The decoration style of the house highlights the sense of age at first glance, plus no one has lived in it for a long time; Every corner was covered with dust. The three of them were busy cleaning from noon until dark, and they were satisfied that they had not lived here for two days; Unexpectedly, the company had another moth. Because the project of our department is an outsourcing project, we only received a message from the supervisor not long ago; said that the project was going to be renewed for one year, and the partner even sent the contract. After a while, I received a notice from the supervisor, saying that the project was abandoned because the company and the partner could not reach an agreement on some contents of the contract; The department confirmed the closure at the end of the month. to this dramatic life; I'm getting used to it. It's just uncomfortable with Ah Qiu and tofu; I thought I would finally be able to pull them this time. It's good now, every word has become a difficult brother.

Naturally, the rent for half a year is not refunded, and I was idle in the rental house for two days; It's definitely not okay to stay in a rental house all the time, and it's the last word to find a job quickly. After observing the online recruitment platform for a few days, the work in the county is like this. I picked two companies whose recruitment information is still reliable, one is for offline product promotion; Looking for someone to sell things on the street, if it weren't for tofu and I wanted to see it, I didn't like it very much; Fortunately, Tofu did not pass the interview. There's also a job as a live broadcast assistant, to put it bluntly; It's to find some anchors who haven't joined the guild and negotiate to recruit into the company's banner to make a profit. If you turn 6,000 into a regular job, you can still eat and live, and the treatment is still good. But you have to work from 9 o'clock in the morning to 9 o'clock in the evening, and this salary cannot be said to be very high. Counting that it will be more than an hour away to get back, it will definitely be impossible to practice. Even if I passed the interview, I still didn't go if I thought about it. then stayed in the rental house and began to plan to do game anchor content editing, although it was not a job with a stable income; But you don't have to look at people's faces for the sake of those three melons and two dates. Ah Qiu and Tofu still went to report, and they didn't stay for a few days before they ran back. Then, because of the situation, the county began to manage silently; We finally gave up on looking for a job. I heard Tofu say that he bought an automatic liver mobile game half a year ago, and he didn't have to worry about anything when he boarded the number; When the business was hot, there were 100 orders a month. I also followed the whole one, counting the game of mosquito legs to move bricks; I can't make a lot of money, but it's still okay to figure out basic expenses; I finally have more time to do my own thing. Because I wanted to get started with the instrument in a very short period of time, I didn't know where I got addicted to LOL again. So every day, I get stuck very tightly, making myself look like I'm in a hurry; Even if you are lazy and unwilling to practice for a few days, you will still force yourself to do it. Tofu's words can be summed up very well: "I think those who really like music, people really want to improve; Enjoy the process. When I came to you, it was like accomplishing some kind of task, and I was so tired of myself. "That's right, Tofu's words are always so direct, realistic, and very reasonable, anyone who expresses this truth like me in any way will immediately refute it, but Tofu I will only listen and rarely speak, that's why I don't like to chat with Tofu; But if something happens, you can only find his reason. There have been a few times when I have practiced the piano, which seems to have really become a burden for me; If I don't do it, I always feel that there is something I haven't done today, and I still feel panicked when I do it. I just hope that I can finish the piano practice quickly and edit the video to remove the fatigue of the last tube; Sitting in front of the computer with a sigh of relief, he forced two handfuls of black with tofu. Every time I go out, I will buy food for three or five days at a time, and for us old boys who are rotten, the difference is that there are more nucleic acids and masks. I repeated this rhythm of life until I quit the lease at the end of the year. At the beginning of the year, I calculated the income from the rental house for a few months, and the video editing was still in a tepid state, and finally gave up. The musical instrument in the room is at the level of a two-knife as soon as you get started, and no matter how you think about it, you can't feel that you can't do it. Totaling how to earn money today, things still have to have priorities; The premise of thinking about heaven and earth is to live.

After the Lantern Festival, I went to an outsourcing company for video review with tofu for an interview; The process went smoothly and both received the onboarding notice. The day before he was ready to join the company, Tofu was hospitalized because of a recurrence of old stomach problems; If you can't catch up, you will automatically give up. With the treatment and atmosphere of the work of the picture beautification years ago, in contact with the new strict environment; It's easy to provoke contrasts. boring video content, not to mention stealing paddling; When you enter the office, you are not allowed to see your mobile phone, and there is no communication between colleagues; The atmosphere is also more oppressive. I didn't work for half a month, but I couldn't stand the stiff office atmosphere and left. returned to the countryside with his mother and picked up the way of opening an online store again; It is said that the newly established online store platform has the corresponding new store support, and Ah Qi can also have three or five orders a day. But in fact, it is a new store to promote red envelopes, a month's time; Counting the promotion fee sent in, he is still making money for the platform. Then, because of the positive situation in the county, the road from the countryside to the county seat was also blocked. After two months in the countryside, I began to devote myself entirely to music, practicing the piano every day. The knowledge points of music theory class that you see on the Internet will also be written down with a pen. The more I understand things, the more fulfilling my life becomes. Waiting for the orderly opening of the county, according to the introduction of my brother friend; We moved into a newly built tourist area in a small city not far from the county seat and sold baked cakes, and all the shops were exempted from half a year's rent for the convenience of attracting investment. Regardless of the means of publicity prepared before the opening, the dismal flow of people in reality has not been able to set off any repercussions. The style of the tourist area belongs to the design of the ancient city, and the scenic spot is specially filled with water for hollowing out; In the middle of the water stands a golden pagoda that pumps water to create a waterfall. Two or three times a day, three women and two men can be seen wearing Hanfu and taking a specially decorated electric boat; At the stern of the boat is a loudspeaker with a frequency enough to vibrate the surface of the lake, and one ancient music after another is played. The woman in red who holds the microphone at the head always puts a piece of red veil on her lips and hovers around the pagoda in a boat and sings in a gesture. At first, I didn't doubt that it would not be difficult to invite a few powerful female singers to such a spectacular scenic spot. After a long time, because I listen to repeated songs every day; The last song is the voice of Teacher Zhang Bichen, and the next song becomes the voice of Teacher Teresa Teng. I know why the tourist area that has been heavily renovated has ended up in such a predicament, and I know that it is not a red yarn; It's just a fig leaf. Because the business became more and more bleak, we finally turned back to the county seat, and before leaving, I wrote a poem for them; It can be regarded as a reward for their hard work every day.

"The glow of the central cage is like smoke, and the coiled oars are shaking and causing the lake to wrinkle.

The bow of the ship is full of lust and wants to sing, and the long song floats and speaks? ”

The lower limit of the times continues to expand with time, and people are forced or take the initiative to do things that they have done again and again, just for the life they yearn for, rich, unworldly, free, and comfortable; But far away from these longing foundations, they still can't escape embracing vulgarity. This stereotypical image reminds me of a fitting saying: "When turbidity becomes the norm, innocence becomes a sin." ”

These days when I came back to the county, my mother always talked about the past; said that our family has been in the wind and rain for decades, and we can't afford to toss anything. I also heard that someone who opened a restaurant in a certain place and whose business was very good, and which relatives set up a stall in half a year and earned two or three hundred thousand. This made my mother think more and more uneasy, and she was determined to open a shop of her own; always emphasizes the sentence: "Other people's stores can make money, but they can't come to our house?" "Actually, my mother doesn't really want to toss these things when she is over half a hundred years old, she just wants to do it when she and her father are still active; To leave more value in my life and in my future family, just as I hope to leave more in this world in my lifetime. Once a person enters this world, he always has to rush for any matter of importance at any stage; It can't be stopped. This is life, and it is the end.