Does anyone feel bad for a long time because of a few words from their parents? I'll admit that I'm such a person. When I was younger, I would always feel uncomfortable for a long time because of a few words from others, first because of my family, and then because of the joke that others saw in my family, it began to spread to others. It wasn't until later that I gradually discovered that this was brainwashing, but I could only hide my vulnerability with the ridiculous excuse of fear of being kicked out of the house by my family.

It was a Friday in May 2012, and the weather was beautiful, and I wasn't a sun-loving person, but I loved the feeling of being wrapped in the sun. It always feels warm and comfortable. Standing on the playground, looking at the piles of classmates talking and laughing, and the classmates who were running and playing basketball with the physical education teacher not far away, my heart began to get anxious inexplicably.

I don't know why I suddenly felt this way, but when I glanced at the time on my wrist, there were still thirty minutes before school ended, so it stands to reason that I shouldn't be in a hurry. But I didn't think about it for too long, and I joined the running team with me.

I didn't know them, so I just focused on running my own.

I don't know how many laps I ran, but it seems to be the second lap because my physical strength is not very good.

When I came to the class area, my classmates saw that they just looked at me with a very strange look and then talked to the people around them. I'm a transparent person, so I don't care about that, and after taking out the tissues I brought with me and sending them, I found a random place to sit.

Looking at the sky in the distance, I couldn't help but feel a little distracted. My family is in a very small county, how small is it? It's like you can't find it without looking at it. Of course, I know that I can't say this casually, because the development of these years has not been easy, and if I say it, it will be a big blow to whoever it is.

I glanced at my watch again, and there were still ten minutes before the end of school, but I was in a hurry, as if something had happened waiting for me to deal with. But I couldn't tell the teacher directly, so I just waited for a while. It wasn't until the bell rang that the teacher ran back to the classroom to pack up his things. The rest of the students were like me, and when we packed up and stood in the line, it was time to leave.

Today, the school sent ham sausages, plus what was not given last time, this time a total of two ham sausages were distributed. I was so happy that I put the ham sausage in my school uniform jacket pocket and hummed silently in my heart. I like to eat these very much, I like to eat meat, my dad often says that I am a meat jar, no matter how I pretend to be satisfied, I don't refute it once, because I do like to eat it, and I don't eat meat much at home, so of course there will be a day when it is full.

At the school gate, there were parents who came to pick up their children from school, and suddenly I was hit on the arm, and when I turned my head, I saw that there was a boy in our class who had a good relationship with me, and he was motioning for me to look behind me. I did as he was told, but as soon as I turned my head, I was slapped on my head by the head teacher's book.

"Everyone is singing, and you want to die if you don't make a sound."

I was a little aggrieved by the beating, but I still opened my mouth to sing the class song as the teacher said. The class song of our class is a song by a famous female singer, and I only know her name. As I walked out of the school gate, I left these worries behind me and ran across the road. When I crossed the street, my good friend caught up with me and said, "Why are you running so fast?" ”

She didn't understand my actions and was looking at me with a pair of cold eyes. Of course I wasn't going to say anything to her, because I had to go home and eat my ham. Wait a minute, why is there only one of my ham sausages left.

I pulled out the ham sausage, and the only thing that was left seemed to be about to tear a thread of my sanity.

"Are you looking for your ham sausage? I just saw your ham sausage in the middle of the road, I think you lost it when you just ran, now hurry over and take a look, maybe you can pick it up. ”

I ignored her, but walked to the side of the road where I had just run, and saw my ham sausage lying flat in the middle of the road.

"Is that your ham sausage? Hurry up and pick it up. ”

I don't know who in the crowd mentioned this, but at this moment, a black car drove by, and at once it crushed the ham sausage.

"Tut-tut, I see you didn't go over just now, and now there are no ham sausages." There was a bit of schadenfreude in the tone of the man's voice, and I looked back to see a skinny boy standing next to me, who was about the same height as me, but the shortest boy in the class. I don't know what his name is, but I always hear the boys in the class call him a dwarf.

"If you don't have it, you won't have it, and safety is the most important thing." With that, I walked past him and walked back. As I was leaving, I happened to see him looking at me mockingly. I admit that at that moment, I was really a little weak-hearted, and I lied and didn't dare to face my heart, but I was very inexplicably confident, because people always make mistakes, I just lost a ham sausage, not lost anything valuable, and I didn't have anything valuable.

After thinking about it for a while, I stopped thinking about it and walked home.

Our family is a very simple courtyard house, in the early years my parents bought a house here, and our family lived here, at that time I was kindergarten age, and now I am gradually growing up, and I am already in primary school. There is an old tree in front of our house that has been with us for many years.

When I entered the house, I first put down my school bag, and then looked around the house for my mother's shadow. This seems to be the habit of all children, to find their mother first when they enter the door. It's just that I've been looking for a long time, but I haven't seen my mother's figure. She used to be at home all the time, but today she suddenly disappeared.

I looked at my dad, he was sitting on the couch watching TV, the remote control in his hand was always in his hand, he was watching the war movies he usually watched, and I asked him, "Dad, where is my mother?" ”

"Went to your uncle's house." I didn't ask anything more when I heard him say that, and my sister was sitting on the couch, but she was looking down at her phone, and I didn't bother to pay attention to her.

I don't usually have any hobbies, so I just found a blank piece of paper and started drawing. Not long after the drawing, my dad's phone started ringing. As soon as it rang, my dad looked over to my sister, because the ringtone of their mobile phones was the same, so my dad would see how my sister reacted first. Seeing that she didn't move, he asked first, "Zhou Fei, is your phone ringing, you open it and take a look, maybe someone is looking for you." ”

My sister didn't even raise her head, she just said that she didn't have a phone. The phone hung up on its own, and when it rang a second time, my dad found his phone and connected it, "Hey?"

"Hello, is it Xiang Yuhua's husband?"

"I am."

"That's right, Xiang Yuhua." It seemed that something was going on, and my dad stood up and listened, so that I didn't hear what the man was saying at all. But according to what she just said, it should be some kind of staff member.

"Zhou Qi, let's go." After answering the phone, my dad beckoned my sister to leave, but didn't say anything to me.

"Where are you going?" I asked, my sister seemed a little impatient, "Eh, Mom is in the hospital, I'll go to the hospital with Dad, don't ask, you are at home watching the door." ”

They left as soon as they said that, and I thought about the panic I felt when I was in class, and it seemed that it was because my mom was in the hospital, but I can't go now, so I don't know what happened to me. I waited at home, and after a while, my sister returned.

"Hurry up and pack your things, Mom is sick, Dad followed the ambulance to the city, let's pack up our things and go to the city now." After she finished speaking, she went to pack her luggage, and I didn't know what to bring so I put on their phone charger and some daily necessities.

Just as we were standing at the door, ready to wait for someone to pick us up, my sister's mobile phone suddenly rang, and she turned it on, so I could clearly hear my dad's voice on the other side, "Hey! Zhou Fei, you and Zhou Tian look at the door first, don't rush up. After that, I came up in a relative's car. ”

"But we've all packed it up."

"You pack up what you pack, the children's family, you just wait for your relatives to come over, I'll call your sisters now, and ask them to pick you up tomorrow if they come up." After he finished speaking, he hung up the phone, and my sister stood at the door for a long time before going back.

I know my dad, he has his own opinion on everything, if my mom is the type who can communicate, then my dad just has to find a chance to quarrel, he will listen to others, otherwise he won't listen at all. As is the case now, if we follow and get in the ambulance and he finds us halfway, he will definitely not say that, he will only say that we are useless, but he will not chase us away.

I don't have much affection for my relatives because they always do something inexplicable and say something inexplicable. Sometimes, it makes me very uncomfortable, so I basically avoid it if I can. I didn't expect to go to the city tomorrow and take their car. I was a little uncomfortable, but I had to do what I was asked to do.

I don't know what time they'll come tomorrow, so I went to bed early. Wait until the next morning, I get up and wait for them. In the past, I didn't like to go to my relatives' house, they always liked to ask questions, but I had to go because I couldn't cook, and the money my family gave me was far from enough to support me to go out to eat. I don't know how to cook and I'm scared to cook at the same time.

When it comes to cooking, that's how my family thinks about it. Girls should learn to cook early, otherwise it will be difficult to marry in the future. But I was afraid of the oil in the pot, and my parents often told me that my sister had been taking me since she was eight years old.

My sister and I are eight years apart, according to my parents, she is a very talented person, and when I was a child, my family was very busy, and she took me with her. After that, it's just to see if I can't move. My family is very interesting, they are typical parents who do not beat and scold their children, but teach them verbally. What is this verbal teaching? It's like cooking, they won't teach you, but they want you to take the initiative to take the spatula and take the initiative to cook a lunch or dinner.

If you do it well, they will praise you for being able to cook, which is amazing, and if you do it badly, they will say that you can't cook and waste food. As for my sister, to be honest, she doesn't have a good impression in my heart, and I often get a headache because I have such an older sister. It's just that in the evening, when she was chatting with my mother about topics, she would often mention that when I was a child, I couldn't eat enough and ran to the neighbor's house to eat meat.

I will never forget the way she looked when she said this, smiling, with contempt and sarcasm, like the eyes of an ancient lady looking at a lowly begging person, simple, I don't know why there are hungry people, I don't know why there are people who can't even afford to wear clothes, and they are dirty. Obviously, she was also sent out when she was young.

In my home, there are pictures of her as a child, and I had nothing when I was a child. I don't know what other second-child families are like, but in my family, she really enjoys a lot of treatment that I don't have. In terms of clothes, mine is all other people's clothes, in terms of pampering, her parents recalled her childhood, she would sit on the ground and cry without buying, and mine was like a dog who went around to other people's houses to beg for food.

I don't know what my parents mean when they tell me that my sister has raised me, maybe they want us sisters to support each other, but on my sister's side, it is obviously impossible, I know that she has a good relationship with the children of relatives, and I am the most unpleasant one. So, I don't care if she helps me or not, after all, even she knows very well that I am not destined to achieve much in my life, so she has set her sights on other people early on.

It was dawn very early, and after eating, I waited a little longer, and then I saw someone walk in through the doorway. She is the eldest daughter of my eldest uncle, named Xiang Yi, and has a very good relationship with my sister Xiang Fei. According to my mother, at that time, she really couldn't control my sister, because she always had to buy a lot of things, so she sent them to my uncle's house and lived with them.

My uncle's house is not far from the old house, and the old house is my grandmother's house, but when I was young, the only old man, my grandfather, passed away, and the old house was empty, and no one ever went to it again. My sister went to my uncle's house, because this village is a key area in the county, so there is also a kindergarten here, and she went to kindergarten here.

According to her recollection, after school, she would mingle with her uncle's children, collect fruit bags and sell them for money. Although the days were hard, they were very good. I didn't pierce her, because she told me one thing before, and my mother also told me the same thing, that is, this Xiang Yi is also a child raised by my mother, but it seems to be married, I don't know, intermittently, and I don't know when I went back.

Maybe it was when she got married, or maybe when she didn't study, I heard that she gave up her studies. I don't know if that's true or not.

"You two sisters woke up so early." When she came, she first looked at me, then at my sister. It seemed to be waiting for her answer, and my sister quickly answered, "Well, I got up early and waited for you at home." ”

"That's all you have to take?" She asked, and my sister replied, "Well, that's all I have to bring." She didn't say anything more, she took a bag and went out, and said to us as she left, "Take the things and go down with me, your brother-in-law is waiting." ”

My sister said yes, and then urged me to hurry up. I took my things, locked the door with me, and got into the car. It was a van and I sat in the back window seat, which was spacious because there were only four people in the car with me and my sister. I didn't pay much attention to the content of their conversation, and as soon as I got in the car, I opened the window to look outside.

I've lived here for a long time, and I don't have enough of it, but I still like the feeling of sitting in the car and watching people, but it's not, I just like the feeling of being blown by the wind, in the car and on the motorcycle, it's all right. I have a motorbike at home, one that my dad drives, it's black and it's very windy.

I don't know how long it took before I withdrew my gaze. I rubbed my temples, and suddenly I had a little headache. I glanced at my sister, who was smiling and talking to Xiangyi. She seems to have endless words, and she can find a lot of topics to chat with in an instant.

"Zhou Qi, how did your mother get hospitalized, I heard your father say that it was quite serious, what is going on."

"I don't know, I heard that she suddenly fell when she was walking back, and fell someone to sleep, and then when someone came home, she saw my mother lying on the side of the road, and called 120. When we arrived at the hospital, the doctor said that it was a cerebral hemorrhage, so he called us and told us to come over and follow the ambulance to the city. ”

"It's so serious, just like that, it will directly become a cerebral hemorrhage?" Xiang Yi was still a little puzzled, after all, in her opinion, my mother's body didn't seem to be so bad?

"I don't know, that's what the doctor said, so my dad went to the city hospital with the ambulance."

"Then why didn't you go with you at home?"

"My dad said that if he didn't worry about leaving my sister alone at home, he would let me stay and he would go up by himself."

"So that's the case, Zhou Tian, are you afraid?" Xiang Yi suddenly became interested in teasing me, perhaps wanting to see my reaction. But what do she want to see? Crying bitterly, and then uncomfortable to see your mother as soon as possible? Well.

"Don't be afraid." I didn't do what she thought, and she only teased me, "Don't be afraid~" and then continued to chat with my sister. As I've said a long time ago, she talks a lot with my sister. The mountains are very green, there is no water, and the city is not far from our county seat, but it is not close to it.

After a long ride, I arrived at my destination. This is the second time I've been here because I had a bad stomach when I was in the first grade, and it was to the point where I had to be hospitalized. The second time it was. Now, I followed them to the door of my mother's hospital room, opened the door and walked in.

I was the last one to walk in, very confused, a little unclear about how I got in, as if I had been following the road for a long time.