63.

Zhou Yuetian continued to walk around.

He didn't know how long he had been circling around there, as if unconscious.

He really didn't know where to go.

I really don't know where she'll be.

He seemed to know very little about her.

64.

Zhou Yuetian finally saw Lou Ruan again.

At the door of Xu's house.

She got out of the car and stood with Xie Yanli, still looking up and smiling at him.

The eyes that have been looking at him will also look at others.

People who smile at him all the time, smile at others.

Zhou Yuetian stepped forward without thinking about it, he grabbed her, and his voice was almost pleading, "Soft, do you still want me." ”

Subconsciously, he knew she wouldn't want him.

But when he grabbed her, he still grabbed driftwood like a drowning man.

He had tried hard not to look at the person next to her, but the other party's presence was too strong to ignore.

Zhou Yuetian listened to her calmly say that she was married, and almost blurted out, "What about getting married, you can still divorce if you get married." ”

In the past, Father Zhou had many people outside, and what he hated the most was people like Father Zhou who did not respect marriages and destroyed other people's families.

But he seems to have become that kind of person.

He couldn't control his mind, he said a lot of things that shouldn't be said, and he listened to her a lot of things.

She said she didn't like him now.

She said she used to like him very much, but now she doesn't.

She said she didn't like him at all now.

She said, don't be reluctant, get out of the car, Zhou Yuetian.

……

65.

Zhou Yuetian walked quietly on the road, like a ghost who died accidentally, repeating the road step by step.

He quietly walked through the flow of people, through the streets and alleys, and to the door of No. 1 Middle School.

Standing here again, not with them, without her by his side, he was alone.

Zhou Yuetian stood there and watched for a long time, then turned around in a trance, until the passing car made a sharp whistle.

He looked up in a trance, as if he had suddenly woken up.

The phone in his pocket vibrated uncontrollably.

Zhou Yuetian lowered his head in a trance, it was a call from the hospital.

66.

Zhou's mother died.

Suicide.

When he was standing at the door of No. 1 Middle School.

The nurse said that she was very sober and calm all day today, did not cry, and did not ask for boiled eggs to eat.

Zhou Yuetian took one last look at her, she was lying there, looking quiet, and the corners of her mouth were even slightly upturned:

"Mom, why?"

His voice was harsh and hoarse, "Why?" ”

Why was he sober all day today, but he left by himself without even calling him.

Zhou Yuetian finally couldn't help it, sat on the ground against the cold iron bed and cried, his lips trembled slightly, and his crying was suppressed.

67.

After Zhou Yuetian walked out, the nurse handed Zhou's mother's mobile phone to him:

"Madame seems to have written something in the memo."

Zhou Yuetian took the phone, sat in the hospital corridor and opened it, there were three memos in it.

[Xiao Tian, mom is so tired]

[They all say that Lou Ruan can't do without you, but in fact, my mother knows that you can't do without her.

Mom, I'm sorry for you...]

Both of these were from yesterday.

There is only one today.

[Xiao Tian, mom is tired, don't be sad]

Zhou Yuetian's tears fell on the mobile phone screen one by one, he lowered his head, covered his face, and the cry overflowed from his fingers little by little, until he couldn't control it anymore.

68.

Zhou's mother's funeral was very simple and there was no large-scale notice.

Zhou's father didn't come, and Zhou Yuetian didn't call.

He stood in the cemetery and turned his head, looking at the people who came to see Zhou's mother, and several girls were crying sadly.

They were all students sponsored by Zhou's mother during her lifetime.

Zhou Yuetian asked the person who took care of Zhou's mother for a list of Zhou's mother's sponsorship, and found that she not only sponsored several female students, but also had been making girls' lunches and donating sanitary napkins.

He thought of his mother, who had forcefully said that he would marry him, and then after getting married, he would do whatever he wanted like Father Zhou, and then he thought of her crying and eating boiled eggs in the hospital ward, his eyes became sour again, and he turned around to find a pen with those lists.

The fountain pen given by Lou Ruan was placed in a conspicuous place, and he opened the cover of the pen to sign, and the ink was intermittent.

He wrote his name one by one, his knuckles aching.

He didn't seem to know her all along.

He loves her, but he will also feel that she has no self-esteem, and like others say, he will only work hard to please her husband with her face and figure, even if he knows that he has someone outside, he will turn a blind eye and do not want to divorce.

He hated her for having a mess in her own marriage, and she should have spurned someone like her husband the most, but she also wanted to turn her son into someone like that.

Zhou Yuetian lowered his eyes and wrote the last stroke.

This fountain pen seems to be completely unusable.

Mom, you're right, in fact, I can't do without Lou Ruan, but I seem to have lost her...

69.

September.

Zhou Yuetian received a WeChat message from Cheng Lei.

It's a video from Lou Nguyen's wedding.

Guests frolicked and told their stories.

He quietly watched them and said how good Xie Yanli was to her, and watched them say that Xie Yanli was seasick and was afraid that she would be worried and insisted on buying her gifts.

Looking at them and saying he was lining up to buy strawberries.

Looking at them, he said that he always went to the flower shop to buy flowers.

Finally, look at them and say she painted him.

The video is finished.

Zhou Yuetian thought in a trance, it was a pity that she didn't take pictures of her wearing a wedding dress.

70.

September 10th.

Zhou Yuetian went to the Jingbei Art Museum alone.

He looked at the paintings on the wall with a pale face.

People come and go, and the sound is very clear in the quiet space.

Zhou Yuetian's gaze slowly moved down from the faceless face in the painting to the information of the painting in the corner.

[Title of the painting: lOve Of life.]

Chinese name: the love of life

Painter: Lou Ruan

Year of creation: 2023

Original material: watercolor on paper

Painting size: 781X1086mm

Collection: Jingbei Art Museum, China

Zhou Yuetian's eyes fell on the two words behind the painter, and he looked at them for a long time.

He turned around and looked back, not knowing where the mistake began.

Maybe it was the moment when he was complacent and proud that he would like him even if he didn't like her.

Maybe it was the first time he thought about who would take the initiative to send a message first, and he hesitated and didn't want to take the initiative.

Maybe it's the moment when she says she just likes Zhou Yuetian when she is unmoved, maybe it's the moment when she is tempted, pulled, hesitated, decided, and unwilling to speak......

One wrong step, one wrong step.

Until she left him completely, painted another person's face, and named it "The Love of My Life"

He had thought that she would never leave him no matter what, and he thought that he was the most important person to her.

He was too self-righteous.

The moment they met, the moment she stood at the mouth of the alley and threw out the umbrella, he was the one who messed up the fate chart.

As if the gods had mercy on him, they stretched out a hand towards him, but he did not grasp it.

(Zhou Yue added a fan. ENDS)