After Duo'er saw Sister Xu come back, she felt a kind of uneasiness, and she didn't know whether it was guilt or uneasiness, she had a very special look when she saw me, and she looked very pitiful, sometimes she would be distracted, what her sister asked her to do, she was in a hurry.

This feeling is getting more and more painful, I keep making moral judgments in my heart, I keep judging myself, I always want to be a good man, but I can't do it in this matter after all.

Sometimes I tell myself that this is not my intention, that Doll just gave me that, but I think that if I hadn't let Doer stay with us, this would not have happened.

One day I really couldn't bear this kind of inner pain, I felt that hiding Sister Xu was a kind of deception, but I also knew that she might be sad if she knew, but I also thought that she might not be so sad.

I hope she doesn't feel bad, I just want to confess and be true to myself.

At this time, Doll told us that she wanted to go out and live alone.

Sister Xu was peeling fruit for me that day, and after hearing her say this, she hurriedly asked her, "What's wrong?" If you go out to live alone, it's dangerous, but you don't want it for the time being, is there something wrong? ”

Sister Xu loves Duo'er very much, she grew up together since she was a child, and in her heart she is her own sister.

"No, sister, I have a girlfriend abroad, in Germany, and she said that it is very good, and I want to live abroad for a while."

After Duo'er said this, Sister Xu walked in front of her and looked at her and said, "Duo'er, I don't feel at ease when you go there, but if you want to go over, I'll let people protect you, and you can live there for a while, but if there are other reasons, I won't be at ease, Duo'er, you have to know, from childhood to adulthood, how do I educate you?" ”

"I know, you told me, be honest, don't deceive, if you make a mistake, let me confess to you, only by finding problems and solving problems, the road will get better and better." After Duo'er said, Sister Xu looked at Duo'er and nodded: "Yes, since I was a child, I told you a lot of this, over the years, you have suffered a lot with us, and it is not good to say that my sister is not good, in fact, everything has nothing to do with you, it is my sister who brings you trouble." ”

"Sister, no, it's me who is bad, it's all my fault, I'm not sensible." After Duo'er said, Sister Xu smiled, touched her hair, looked at her and smiled: "Anyway, in my sister's eyes, you are a child, just like the first time I saw you, you shrank in the corner, didn't dare to come out, you were pulled out by me, what did I say, I said why is there a little cutie here, why don't you come out?" Don't eat sugar? Sister, don't you want to watch it? Sister Xu smiled and said: "Then you came out, you are very shy, I really feel sorry for you, and then you shrunk into my arms, and you called me mother when you were a child, you know?" After Sister Xu said, Duo'er cried, kept crying, and tears kept coming out.

Seeing her like this, Sister Xu seemed to feel that something was wrong, and while comforting her, she looked at her and said, "What's wrong?" No, there must be something, don't hide it from me. As she spoke, she looked back at me, and I felt so frightened that I wanted to run away, and I didn't dare to lie to her.

I don't know why, when I wanted to lie to her, I was so nervous that I would tremble with nervousness.

"Xiao Feng, what's wrong?" After she asked me, I still said that there was nothing, and then Duo'er stopped crying and told her, "I just want to go out and live by myself for a while, and nothing else." ”

At that time, I thought it would be okay to be like this, and if something like this happens, it would be okay to be calm!

Later that day, Sister Xu agreed to Duo'er.

And I fell into a huge self-blame, I confessed almost every day, and this confession made me depressed, and I thought that after so many years, we have given so much to fight against those people, and finally things are about to be done, and my mission is going to end?

I was discharged from the hospital, and sometimes I sat in my study and looked out the window, and I was preoccupied all the time.

I definitely don't want a rift in my relationship with Sister Xu, I want everything to be perfect, but now it's not perfect.

Sister Xu often takes Dudu to accompany her parents at home, and when she is so good to her parents, the more I feel unworthy of her.

A lot of times before, I was able to accept myself because those things weren't the same thing as me and Doer.

One day I was so miserable that I confessed to Sister Xu.

That day, I sat there with my head down, and told Sister Xu about it, and after she sat there and listened to me, she didn't speak, I looked out the window and said, "I'm sorry for you, I don't deserve you, I think about it, go out and live alone, I don't want me to defile you, you are holy and immaculate." I don't want me to ruin everything, but now ......"

After a while, she said, "Is this what you are talking about?" After she asked me, I said, "Yes, I want to find a clean place now, to be alone, this kind of taste is too painful, all these years, you have done so well, I have thought about it, I have too many stains, and with this matter, I feel that I am not worthy of you!" ”

Sister Xu didn't speak, and after five or six minutes, she said, "Then you calm down alone, I respect your thoughts." With that, she stood up and walked out.

After she walked out, I looked at her back and turned my face around.

That afternoon, I left my house with my brother and moved into another house.

In this way, I feel a little more comfortable, I don't know why I hate myself so much, I hate myself, I always feel like a very asshole person, there are some things that I can't think about, and I can't think about a lot of things over the years.

During the meal, Dunzi frowned and asked me, "What's wrong?" Brother, what's wrong? ”

I told Dunzi about it, and after listening to it, Dunzi had a feeling that the general trend had gone, and he sighed and said, "Why do you want to do this? My sister-in-law loves her so much, why is she? ”

"It's all my fault, it's me who is not good, I ......" Before I finished speaking, Dunzi hurriedly said: "Brother, it's none of your business, you will lie on the bed and can't move, what can you do?" You're being forced by Doer...... Duo'er, Duo'er, I'm really, she's sorry for her sister-in-law, she's sorry for her sister-in-law! ”

I wanted to say that nothing was useless, and I felt terrified when I thought about something.

I can't think about it, over the years, I have relied on my love with Sister Xu to support me, giving me unlimited motivation, so that I can be fearless when facing many dangers, but now it is like this.

I think people like me might as well become a monk, and when those bastards finally perish, I'll become a monk! But when I think of Dudu, I feel that I can't do that, in that case, his father will be a monk in the future, and he will have no face.

And so it went on for three months, and for three months, I was left alone in my lodgings.

Three months later, I learned that Doer had committed suicide.