He smiled...... I can't tell if it's melancholy or sadness. But in the end, it is the complex meaning of Liu Gongzan that is difficult to understand at the moment. Therefore, he didn't know how to comfort for a while-in the past, when Li Yun's heart was occasionally low and sad, he could accompany him to talk to him and tell him to get better quickly.

But now this old man also has a lot of troubles and sorrows in his heart. If it weren't really unbearable, to the limit of what ordinary people could bear, where would they say it tonight and at this time? Therefore, he was speechless for a while, and could only stand opposite Li Yunxin.

After a while, he said, "Brother Xin...... Then you ......"

"I want to think about what I'm going to do. Li Yunxin sighed in a low voice. Took two steps and sat down on the bluestone, "I...... I probably shouldn't be living like this anymore. ”

How to live like this, Liu Gongzan is not very clear. In fact, the vast majority of people don't know -

They were born into the world. Neither the surrounding environment nor the conditions for growing up have a choice. Many people may have such and such thoughts and visions, but they must be limited by reality in the end. Many times, it is not up to a person to decide what he will be after a long time, but what circumstances have made him become.

These people ...... If nothing else, the trajectory of life has been planned from the moment of birth, and the end can be seen at a glance, where do you need to think about "how to live"?

Only a handful of lucky people are born to stand at the top. Then you can decide what your future path should be. But even these people still have a lot of constraints. Today's Liu Gongzan was one of those vast majority of people before a year ago. Now it has become the latter - he has a long life and great power beyond ordinary people. So try to do something you want to do.

Today, for example, pay off the debt.

As for Li Yunxin......

Lao Dao frowned: "What does Brother Xin'er mean by this?"

Li Yunxin was silent for a while, and sighed: "In the past, I didn't know why I was alive. ”

"Mortals are drawn to lust and live a life that is admittedly miserable. But in the end, I know what I live for—for my parents, for my wife and children. ”

"Others say they have to live for themselves. But now that I think about it, I really only live for myself...... Just like I used to, I don't know why. ”

"Yourself...... What is it? It is a person, but it also carries the expectations and emotions of many people. Whenever I talk about the concept of myself, I am not talking about an individual, but a network and a point composed of all the emotional and social relationships in him. ”

"If you don't have this net...... For example, there is only one person in this world. So what does he use to please himself...... In fact, nothing can please yourself. Li Yunxin said in a low voice, "I know this." ”

"I look around the world and don't care about anyone. The prosperity of the world is like a passing cloud for me, but there are always times when I am bored. I should be grateful to the Nine Princes, the Freemasonry, and the Xuanmen Mu Nanju...... If it weren't for these people who put me in a life-or-death situation, maybe I would have grown bored with the world sooner. ”

"By then...... Maybe there is only one way to kill yourself. ”

Lao Dao was about to speak when he heard this. Li Yunxin shook his head and smiled: "Lonely." It's cold in the heights. ”

"So...... There's always something to catch. Life is an ocean, and people are lonely boats. If you don't want to go with the flow, you have to give yourself an anchor. ”

Liu Gongzan listened to this thoughtfully. frowned and thought about it, and suddenly asked, "Brother Xin...... Didn't you have such an anchor before?"

Li Yunxin laughed, revealing a mouthful of white teeth: "Which one did you ask from the past?"

Lao Dao hesitated for a long time. After all, he said something that he wanted to say for a long time: "Can you say it all?"

It was late at night. The clouds open and the moon is bright, and the brilliance is just right. Li Yunxin sat on the smooth bluestone, bathed in this Yuehua, and was silent for a while before saying, "Okay." But there must be wine. ”

When he said this, he flipped his palm and took out a silver kettle. He rested on the stone and looked at it, and said, "It's still deserted." ”

So he touched his sleeve again and found a small red clay stove.

This stove is used for warm wine, and it is very small and chic. Li Yunxin, who rests on the bluestone and is lined with white clothes next to him, is like a painting.

He flicked his fingers, and a rootless fire burned under the furnace. Oh, there is a little warmth. Liu Gongzan thought about it, and also jumped on the bluestone and sat opposite Li Yunxin.

Li Yunxin stretched out his hand and cut out two stones. Then he poked out his sharp nails and hollowed them out.

It became two wine cups.

He and Liu Gongzan each had one lamp, but they did not warm the silver pot on the red stove. Both people like to drink cold wine, but they don't like cold food.

"The last time I sat with you like this was when I was in Weicheng. Li Yunxin said, "That night, I want to take Shelong Jiu." ”

The old man poured wine for him, and poured wine for himself. Wordlessly, he raised his glass—and the two drank it all.

Li Yunxin smacked his lips and smiled again: "If you don't have wine, it will become a stuffy drink." ”

So he stretched out his hand and tore a few times on the stone under him, and pulled out four round green pebbles. He looked at the stone and put his hand on the stove.

Squinting slightly, he looked at the stones in the heat and glimmer, and whispered, "Once upon a time there was an old man. Drink and eat like this. ”

After saying this, there was silence for a long time. The faces were slightly yellowed in the night by the light of the fire in the small furnace. Liu Gongzan knew that when he spoke in such a tone and fell into such silence, he was ready to recall some of the past.

He obviously looks young, but there are many years to recall.

"I don't remember how old I was when I was adopted. Seven or eight or nine...... Probably when I was a kid. Li Yunxin opened his mouth and said in a low and soft voice, "These have probably told you before--I was worldly and grew up in an orphanage. ”

"It's like a good hall. Liu Gongzan nodded.

"Then came an old man. Then...... It's about the same age as you. One eye, not at all kind. Speak like thunder...... Always with a roar. But it's not that the ears are bad. Li Yunxin reached out and rummaged over the stones on the stove, as if he was roasting meat. The stone was turned over and silent. So he stretched out his hand and twisted a little of the snow that had fallen from the trees and sprinkled it with it. Finally screamed—sizzling, as if grease was dripping from the meat.

"Pick some kids. I can't see it. Ask me. People say that this child may have a bit of a problem with his brain. It's a burden for you to bring back. ”

The old man asked, can you take care of yourself? Are you obedient? ”

The old man said, 'That's it.'" ”

Liu Gongzan shook his head and laughed: "There is a problem with your brain?"

"Hmm. At the time, I thought they were weird. They also thought I was weird. I don't want to talk to them. I can't understand why they are always laughing and crying. Li Yunxin flicked his cup. And the wine thread was taken out of the silver kettle, and it was filled for the two of them.

He was silent for a while while and drank it all: "Take me back." The name is Li Si. Zhang San, Li Si of Li Si. ”

"The old man is a fateful man. At that time, he was in his sixties and was not in good health. I had a good time before, and I made a few small fortunes. I feel like a master...... I don't want to let my craft be lost. But he is alone, and he wants to find someone who is hard to teach. ”

"I found you?"

Li Yunxin smiled slightly: "It's not me." I found a very smart kid before. Know how to read words and colors, and know how to figure out people's hearts. ”

"It's a pity that his fortune-telling skills are really not good. I was lucky to get rich before, and I caught up. Several big donors praised him and gave him some money. It's fluttering, flowers everywhere. Then the luck is gone, I can't see it accurately, and I fall up again...... It turned out that I thought it was okay to raise that child and apprentice. As a result, the livelihood of both of them has become a worry. ”

"What to do. Think of a good idea. At that time, there was a subsidy, saying that if a disabled child was adopted in an orphanage, how much subsidy would be given. Just pick me. ”

Liu Gongzan was surprised: "...... It is really a blessing to have such a court. ”

Li Yunxin smiled: "I want to adopt a disabled child." It doesn't cost much to raise this child, and you can still earn some. If someone like me can take care of themselves and be smart, I can still serve them. ”

And then ...... And I came out. ”

And then, the clever boy died. ”

“...... Dead?"

"In the summer, run out and play. Run to the railroad tracks to catch dragonflies and press nails. One of the cars came by, accidentally fell on the railroad tracks, and was crushed into pulp. Li Yunxin said, "It's an accident." This kind of thing, there is no way. ”

Liu Gongzan pursed his lips. After thinking about it, he drank all the wine in his cup: "Hmm." ”

"The old man was sad for a while. But it soon got better. Li Yunxin snorted softly. It's hard to say whether it's smiling or just unconsciously ventilating, "Because at first I thought that kid was smart and learned everything quickly." I slowly realized that I didn't learn very quickly...... Didn't learn anything. It's just that in front of the old man, he will say well-behaved things to coax him. As soon as he pulled it out, he showed his face. ”

"Some people ...... EQ is high, but IQ is not high. That's probably the case. ”

Lao Dao lifted the pot and poured a third glass of wine for the two of them. But there was a rumbling in the pot, as if there was some ice in the wine. So he didn't use his magical powers, but only put the silver kettle by the fire and roasted it slowly: "And then?"

"And then that's what I told you before. After a period of stability. There are clothes to wear and food to eat. The old man used to raise me like a dog. The boy died and beat me up, planning to find another apprentice. ”

"But I'm not really stupid...... I listened while he taught the kid. It's easy to understand. Slowly, I also know some people's hearts, so I talk to him and use some means. He realized that I wasn't really stupid. In other words, although stupid, there is something outstanding in a certain field. ”