"Yes, you are my original enemy, and you can't see me having a peaceful birthday. Jiang Zimu grimaced his face and watched Xiao Li lean unceremoniously on the sofa in the living room earlier.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Xiao Lizao's eyes rolled, he raised his hand to brush the hair on the top of his head, and then tentatively pressed the gauze on the wound.

"Come to recognize the door, facilitate the follow-up transaction complaints and claims, and also facilitate you to do a return visit. ”

"Huh. "Pull it down.

Jiang Zimu sighed several times, his eyes drooped, and he said listlessly: "I knew that Sister Gu did things well, and she didn't know my details, and she wouldn't take the initiative to contact me." So it's really not surprising that you know where I live. ”

"But I'm wondering, how could the security guard at the door let you in without informing me?"

Xiao Lizao blinked his innocent and innocent eyes, "I don't understand either?" My Pagani was following behind a Ferrari, and when he entered the door, the doorman only asked about the car in front of him, and then glanced at my car, and let both cars go without saying anything and with a wave of his hand. ”

"I think it's my luck. ”

Jiang Zimu rolled his eyes, "Poverty makes people give up walking upright. It's not that the luck is particularly good, it should be that the row is particularly 'trench'. ”

"How did you open the downstairs curfew? Don't tell me it's face-brushing!"

"Oh, it's not, my hat and mask were taken off when I arrived at your door. Xiao Lizao pointed to the CDG*GUCCI co-branded kraft paper bag on the side, and motioned for Jiang Zimu's disguised clothes to be placed inside.

"When I was downstairs, I was worried about how to open the door and get in, but I waited five minutes and someone came out of it. Why is it so coincidental, you say?"

Jiang Zimu really didn't have the strength to continue to roll his eyes, and looked at Xiao Lizao's environmental protection bag, "I have more coincidental ones here-just your bag, I wholesaled twenty of them in a two-yuan store last month, the same waterproof, the same large capacity and durable." ”

Jiang Zimu felt that the more than 300 US dollars that Xiao Li spent early should be the IQ tax he paid. For this kind of person who is stupid and has a lot of money, it is estimated that God can't stand it, so he will give him a few more green lights so that his life will not be particularly difficult.

"I've only heard of 'fools are blessed with fools', but I've never heard of sand sculptures being treated equally. While speaking, Jiang Zimu calculated in his heart: I will go to the property early tomorrow morning to complain about the dereliction of duty of the doorman, and by the way, the wall crack suggests that the elevator should also be changed to a credit card, and non-residents of the community are not allowed to use it. In this way, next time this goods will come directly to find fault without making a sound, but I am afraid that it will hang up in the safe passage before climbing to the 50th floor.

Hum!

Xiao Li glanced at Jiang Zimu early, and for some reason, his cheeks were a little hot. He looked around casually and said with a smile: "Goddess, it's okay." Your room type, this location, a set at least eight figures, right?"

"I'm just looking for a tile that can cover my head, but it's not as big as your Xiao Da idol's family. "Special thanks to the financiers in the entertainment industry and the women behind the financiers. Without you, I wouldn't have my set of two bedrooms, two living rooms and two bathrooms.

"Tsk, I'm curious, you said that you made money by helping people change their fortunes, but it's not easy to tell outsiders, right?"

"Huh?"

"So, I was thinking, you said that a little girl of your age looks like this, alone, living in such an upscale community, and not having a serious job, all of these are all connected together, not only do the neighbors not think about all kinds of gossip, but they actually rush to introduce you to your boyfriend. It can be seen that this community is really simple and simple. ”

How could Jiang Zimu not understand Xiao Lizao's voice, his little face wrinkled, Leng Buding leaned over and pulled Xiao Lizao's wrist, and desperately pulled it into a room next to the living room.

"Hey, we're not that familiar, you calm down!"

"If you don't know you so well, you still come to the door, you deserve to be caught in the net!"

Jiang Zimu's nostrils were steaming out, he entered the house and turned on the light, crossed his waist with one hand, and pointed to the cabinet in the room with the other, "You open your eyes wide for your aunt and grandmother to see clearly, you are a vegetarian for your aunt and grandmother, and you have to rely on men to support you as a woman?"

Xiao Lizao stared at a huge glass cabinet in front of him, in which all kinds of trophies were placed, and roughly calculated, it was at least more than a hundred.

Next to the trophy are two neat stacks of certificates, each half an arm's high. Xiao Lizao flipped through it casually, what "Senior Interpreter Qualification Certificate", "Auctioneer Qualification Certificate", "First-Class Registered Fire Engineer Certificate", "Dietitian Qualification Certificate", "Lawyer Practice Certificate", "Jewelry Appraiser", "CFA Financial Analyst" and so on. Some of the certificates even made Xiao Li have the soul of "Ahhhh

"You're ...... Be... Really?"

"Genuine materials, fake one penalty ten, support counter inspection. Jiang Zimu raised his eyebrows quite arrogantly, "No way, the knowledge is too miscellaneous, see the smile, see the smile." ”

"Hehe, you are so wonderful, even if you get a 'sow postpartum care certificate', I don't think it's unusual. ”

"That can be tested, but it's not necessary. Jiang Zimu put his hand behind his back and sighed in a similar way: "I estimate that there are only two certificates in this life that I can't get." ”

"Huh? ”

"One is a marriage certificate, and the other is a driver's license. ”

"You...... Can't drive?"

"It's all tears, and the only thing that makes me lose money is my driver's license. ”

Before Jiang Zimu finished speaking, Xiao Li was already ready to laugh: Come on, tell your story.

"The theory test is not a problem at all, and they are all full marks. But I can't even pass subject two, let alone mention three. Jiang Zimu scratched his head, paused, and was a little embarrassed, "Let's put it this way, whether it's a real person or an Internet joke, as long as you have heard of anything that can be bumped into in the subject two exercises, I have bumped it all over." ”

"Poof~"

"The first few times I was okay, and I lost a little money. The more you go to the back, the more stable it is, and what is expensive to hit what. ”

"There's nothing particularly expensive in the venue, is it?"

"The coach is very expensive. ”

Jiang Zimu looked embarrassed, "I heard that Xiangcheng and Nanshi, two cities that have always looked down on each other, have always looked down on each other, because of me, I have brought a prosperous scene of unprecedented integration of the spirit of driving school instructors in the two places - unity and friendship, and the same hatred of the enemy." After surviving five driving schools and running away from more than 70 instructors, my name has become as terrifying in the coaching circle as a life and death charm. ”

Xiao Li had already glanced at Jiang Zimu, who was holding his cheeks with a deep hatred, and felt that he was going to turn his back on himself if he couldn't hold back his laughter like this.

"That...... Getting down to business......"

"I just want to ask, do you use all these certificates in hand, and if you don't use them, why do you want to take them?"

"There are only a few books that are commonly used, and the rest, you can be my collector. Anyway, being idle is idle, as long as I see someone on the Internet saying that the difficulty of the so-and-so exam is extremely low, and the pass rate is very low, I am eager to try it, and I have to take the test. ”

Xiao Lizao: I have heard a lot of philatelic actresses in the circle, and I am obsessed with exams and collecting certificates, which is the first time I have encountered them in my life.

"How's it going?" "Let you call me a sugar daddy! Let me be a canary!"

"Is it okay for this girl to throw a few qualifications and go out, and if she doesn't do anything, she will have a good thing of falling silver from the sky?

"Besides, do you think I only have the skill of changing luck? Too young, too simple! Tell you, this girl wears many hats and can make more money. Not to mention far away, let's just say that in this community, I have a set of tutoring exercises for almost every family with children, so don't be too popular. In last month's college entrance examination, this girl did her own thing, and God predicted five major questions in the math paper, four reading and one listening in the English paper!"

"Do you know how many neighbors rushed to give me pennants on the day of the college entrance examination?"

Xiao Lizao: I hate to see each other late.

"Also, do you know that with my super high business literacy, through a deep analysis of the dark side of human nature and careful logical reasoning, how many neighbors have won the divorce lawsuit and let their ex leave the house?"

Xiao Lizao: I began to feel inexplicably childish.

"Also, do you know that the notice of the owner of this community was translated by my aunt and grandmother in English, Japanese, Korean, Russian, and Argentine?"

This knows, the world's swear word output machine.

"Do you know how many of the wives' jewelry in this community I helped identify?"

Then you are still selling fake transfer stones on Weibo that can't be faked?

"Do you know how many fat papers in this community have been converted from XXXL to normal L with the blessing of my nutritious recipes?"

You yourself are a left-handed hot pot and right-hand barbecue, are you embarrassed to set recipes for others?

"Do you know that the current head of the 800,000 aunts in the community square was cultivated by me?"

May I ask what kind of psychology is your little girl in her early twenties getting mixed with her uncle and aunt to grab the C position of square dance?

......

Xiao Lizao: Hey, I'm so tired! I feel that the situation is developing in an unpredictable direction, why is the topic of this goddess getting more and more deviated?

"So, that's why those aunts and mothers are looking for you to be their daughter-in-law?"

"It's not. Jiang Zimu blinked and retorted very calmly, "They like me, mainly because I am good-looking." ”

"I'll go!" Xiao Lizao felt the soles of his feet slip a little, "Are you sure it's not because you're thick-skinned?"

"Your appearance is mediocre if you don't pay more attention to dressing up, I'm afraid that in the blink of an eye, you will be reduced to the level of 'can't get married'. ”

Xiao Lizao: I heard that a naïve little boy would pull the ponytail of the girl he liked and make her cry. I'm a mature internationally renowned idol, you see, I will thoughtfully remind the girls around me to pay attention to their appearance, tsk, give yourself a thumbs up.

"Cut. My aunt and grandmother are unkempt and digging their noses and picking their feet, and the old lady is also happy, so I want you to take care of it?"

Jiang Zimu waved his hand, with the air of a king, he could turn his face and glance at the wardrobe in the corner, but he was cold but his face was full of smiles, and he became unprepared, "Dear, look, it's all here, otherwise, you will help you move that wardrobe inside?"

Xiao Lizao: Hehe, Lao Tzu believes in your evil!

Ten minutes later.

"I said goddess, what about your parents?" Xiao Li moved his shoulders and neck in the morning, and then relaxed his ten fingers after hard work, pretending to be fried chicken casually.

Dear, I didn't specifically want to ask, I just think it's sunny at night, phew, this cold wind is 389 degrees, there is really no need to talk about the regular topic of weather.

Jiang Zimu scratched his head, "Oh, those free souls, when I went to school in the United States four years ago, they immigrated to Melbourne by the way. ”

"So reassuring of you?"

"For a girl who buys toilet paper and gives it away, the actual value is not as expensive as two dollars of toilet paper, how much care can you care about you?"

Xiao Li was stunned for a moment, his eyes went down, but he wanted to sneak a second look at Jiang Zimu in his heart: this...... If not, can you tell me where you bought the toilet paper? My villa is out of stock, and I swear I didn't go for the giveaway.

"But it's better for those two masters to stay out of my sight, otherwise I will eat Royal Supreme dog food and make me burp salmon flavored. ”

"What do they do? if you don't mind me asking. Xiao Li took a cup of tea in the morning, but he didn't drink it when he approached his lips, and his facial expression and tone of speech were a little unnatural at the same time.

"Mind!" Jiang Zimu first responded angrily, feeling Xiao Lizao's politeness, and then waved his hand and wrote lightly: "My father is a teacher, and my mother is a sketcher." ”

When Xiao Li heard it earlier, he compared Jiang Zimu's remarks with the one he had just found in private, and couldn't help but want to laugh a little: a good university professor of Chinese department, let you simplify it to "be a teacher"; the famous jewelry design queen of the industry benchmark at that time, let you omit to "draw sketches", and the real simplification, and the magic into decay.

"Well, something doesn't seem right. Jiang Zimu stood up from the sofa coldly, hugged his two arms to his chest, and stared at Xiao Lizao condescendingly.

"You Xiao Da Idol took the time to come here in his busy schedule, didn't you come here to talk to me?"

We're not that acquainted, okay?

Xiao Li had already heard this, and his nerves were a little tight, but there was no big expression on his face, and he didn't hurry to reach out and take out a folder from the cowhide bag.

"Well, take a look, if there is no objection, I will sign. ”

"Employment contract?" Jiang Zimu glanced at it, a little confused, "Specially appointed language instructor and accompanying translator?"

"Aren't you afraid that the little peach blossom provoked by Galapagos will break the news on the Internet? I discussed it with Gu's mother, if it's unfortunate that you were secretly photographed when you were alone in the same frame with me, then we will use the employment relationship in black and white to refute the rumors. ”

Xiao Lizao: The basic rule of survival in the circle - a working relationship can solve 90% of scandal problems, as long as you are not photographed kissing and hugging and holding high. Forehead...... Probably not... Maybe...... It's not impossible......

Squinting and glancing at Jiang Zimu on the other side, looking at the looming ups and downs under the loose over-size T-shirt, and the two thin, straight, white and tender long legs that couldn't be hidden, Xiao Lizao's throat tightened, and he coughed coldly twice, and then suddenly raised his hand and slapped his forehead: It must be that the recent itinerary is not full enough, and he actually has time to think about it.

"Remember, if something is released, even if it's a real hammer, you have to resist and refuse to admit it. ”

"Don't make a fuss, it's like it's true. The two of us have a scandal and a real hammer?"

Xiao Lizao's eyelids jumped wildly, and he hesitated for a while, then shook his hand and said impatiently: "The beauty you think." Do you think I have bad eyes or a bad brain, and I am so flat with you......"

"It's mediocre!" Jiang Zimu shouted in front of Xiao Lizao, "Your fairy appearance, even if you land on the ground with your face, you look a thousand times better than me." You say that I am mediocre, and I sincerely accept it, but you can't just pull everyone's aesthetics to the same height as you because of your old personal perception, right? I have received the contract, and when I look at it one by one, I will sign it and mail it to Sister Gu. If there is nothing else to do now, the little one will kneel down first. Please help me close the door when you go out when you are old, thank you. ”