In the blink of an eye, I am 27 years old, and from time to time I meet well-wishers who kindly ask: Why don't you have a child? I dare not play, it is time to have a child.

yes, why not have a baby?

Watching my peers get pregnant and have children one after another, I gradually began to desire to have a child, but my own physical condition is getting worse and worse, first the menstrual period is disordered, and then I have to rely on progesterone to have a normal physiological period. I began to panic and went to the hospital for an examination, and the doctor said that the two surgeries of abortion and laparoscopy in the first two years were too close to each other, and the anti-inflammatory was not complete, so the body's immunity deteriorated.

Seeing that the world was serious, I made a special trip to the specialist outpatient clinic for examination and did various examinations, and the expert coldly told me that I had polycystic warm nest, that is, I was basically judged to be infertile. Holding the diagnosis report, I suddenly felt how ridiculous I was, the child once came to me, I refused without hesitation, so I don't cherish it! Now I want a child, it has become impossible!

Is this retribution, what a ridiculous life.

After the hospital pronounced me infertile, I was depressed for a long time, and my husband swore to me that he didn't like children at all, and that life without children was easy and happy! Knowing that he didn't want me to be burdened, I lowered my head every time he said these words, and I didn't want her to see the sadness on my face, and I couldn't bear to see through his disguise.

Eventually, I went to the infertility specialist in the hospital for treatment, and during the treatment I met a lot of people like me, who felt that they were still young when they were pregnant for the first time, and even some girls did not pay attention to contraception for pleasure, and did several when they were young, but now they are older and want to have children, but it is impossible. That longing for a child is written on a woman's face, and that remorse is hidden in the corners of her eyes. What's more, some girls talk about how if they continue to have children, they may not be able to keep their marriages. Looking at their anxious expressions, worried about age, and confused about the future, I felt very uncomfortable.

In the process of treatment, I met more girls like this, and when I heard more about such things, my heart became heavier.

Dr. Sun, who treated me, is an expert and internationally renowned in this field. Because the polycystic ovarian follicles could not develop normally, she suggested that I use medicine to make the follicles grow, and then select the best developed follicles to be taken out for in vitro fertilization, which was the most advanced IVF at that time, and the cost was between 10,000 and 20,000 yuan. I discussed with my husband, and my husband heard that I would always take medication during this process, which would suffer a lot, which would cause great harm to my body, and the financial conditions of the two of us at that time were limited, so nearly 20,000 yuan was really a big expense. My husband was adamantly opposed to me doing this, but he couldn't resist my insistence and reluctantly agreed.

I went through various examinations to prepare for IVF, and after a few days of medicine, I came to the hospital, lay down in the operating room according to the doctor's instructions, and sighed when the doctor examined them with instruments: "These follicles are growing so well, I am so eager to take out all these follicles." "Looking at the excitement on her face, I really didn't feel good in my heart. According to the schedule, I will have surgery in three hours. They were gone, leaving me alone in the operating room, and I watched as the fluid from the hanging bottle flowed into my veins, cold. In the empty operating room, it was just me. Suddenly I had an aversion, an aversion that I had never felt before, what was I doing?

I had a strong desire to get out, I was scared of the long tube, I was afraid of going through all this or failing, because she said the success rate was only 80%, I felt like I couldn't stay here for a quarter of an hour, I was going crazy.

I felt my breathing become short, blood gushing up my head, I had a strong feeling that I was going to die here, thinking of this, I sat up, pulled out the needle myself, got dressed, left a note, avoided the nurse on duty, slipped out of the operating room, and took a car home.

When I got home, I cried loudly under the quilt, crying until I was dizzy and fell asleep crying because of my depression and ignorance, for the punishment I had received at the moment.

In the evening, my husband came back and found that I was wrong, so he quickly called my mother.

I've never told my mom anything like that, but now, especially this kind of thing, I have no one to talk to. I looked at my mother and couldn't help but cry. When I told my mother about the cause and effect of these things, she was shocked, she scolded me for being too bold, she blamed me for not caring for myself too much, and then there was a long silence. I know Mom blames herself...... Because I have had little communication with my mother since I was a child......

I've thought about this matter for a long time and finally figured it out, I don't want to be embarrassed for myself, it's come to this, let him go.

I calmly said to my husband: I don't work hard, I can't have children in this life, if you have other ideas, tell me directly, we can get together and disperse. My husband laughed: It's long overdue, isn't it good for us to be like this?

I don't want to delve into what my husband thinks, anyway, I want to let myself go. The days have to go on.

If the world closes a door for you, then it will definitely open a window for you. Now that the door to being a mother has been closed, then I have to manage myself, at least let my body return to normal, improve my immunity, and live a healthy life.

Not long after this incident, a friend from the hospital came to my house, and I was embarrassed because the doctor was the one she helped me contact, and as a result, I escaped from the operating room before the operation. Fortunately, she was not angry with me, because she was not too supportive of me before, and I insisted on doing IVF. She told me that there was a respected old Chinese medicine doctor in the hospital who suggested that I go to her place to recuperate. I readily agreed. On this day, the window of Chinese medicine opened in front of me, and since then my life has a different content, and from then on I began to love myself, starting from loving my body.

I went to visit the old Chinese medicine doctor with my girlfriend, and I was stunned the moment I saw her, the old man was in his sixties, his hair was black, his face was ruddy, his big eyes flashed with kindness under his crooked eyebrows, and his lips were plump, glowing red as if he had put on lipstick, and I was shocked by the appearance of the old Chinese medicine doctor in his sixties. She looked at me with a smile, gently sat me down, took my right hand and began to take the pulse, my gaze stopped on her charming face, only to see her squint her eyes, put down my hand, let me open my mouth, look at my tongue, and then prescribe medicine. smiled and said to me: It's not a big problem, you, from now on you have to make a weight loss plan, too fat, exercise will help your luck, lose ten pounds first. This medicine is a total of six days' supply, buy a medicine pot and boil it yourself, and I'll take a look after drinking it for six days.

I painfully told her that my period was not normal and... Before she finished speaking, she waved her hand and said, "Your body is okay, strengthen your exercise, don't think so much, if you lose weight, your body functions will slowly recover, don't think too hard and the sky can't fall." She laughed heartily, her smile was contagious, and my mood lightened with her laughter.

I went there four more times after taking Liufu medicine, and the beautiful old Chinese medicine doctor fine-tuned the prescription every time, and I also actively exercised under her encouragement, and my mood became more and more cheerful, and I felt fragrant when I ate, and my life seemed to be meaningful again.