"Old Qin, what are you looking at?" Ding Chen asked with a smile on his face.

"It's nothing, it's just a novel. Qin Yan smiled and put the book upside down on his desk, and there were two words written on the cover of the book: Alive.

"By the way, Lao Qin, the patient is here, and it seems that he is not in a good state, and he seems to have been hit hard. Ding Chen whispered to Qin Yan: "It seems that you have to spend a lot of time talking about this." ”

Qin Yan smiled and said, "It's just a move to see the move." After speaking, he put on his overalls suit, tied his tie and pushed the door into the reception room. A lean, pale, listless young man sat on a leather couch that almost wrapped him, with heavy dark circles under his eyes, evidently not sleeping well in days. Qin Yan glanced at it, sat on his desk, and said with a smile: "Your name is Zuo Tianci, please tell me about your problem, I think your problem is very serious." ”

The man squeezed out a slightly bleak smile on his face and said, "Doctor, I don't know what the meaning of my life is, now I have insomnia every day, I feel that the world doesn't need me, I don't need to live in this world." As he spoke, he began to cry and said, "Doctor!! I really don't know why I feel alive!! I feel like I'm alive。。。。。 It feels like every day of my life is 。。。。。。 There is no goal, muddy。。。。。。 Feel...... I feel like I don't have any thoughts, like the walking dead. ”

"So, have you experienced anything that has hit you very hard before?" Qin Yan asked.

"Actually, there's something. He calmed down a little, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled, although his voice was slightly crying, but there was no longer the same excited tone as before: "I completely lost her not long ago, my life was her before, and now, my life is gone。。。。。。 For the next half hour, he recounted his past in the uneven breath caused by crying from time to time:

He is a young man who has just entered the workplace, and his job is in the eyes of many people, it is an iron job that does not worry about food and drink, and is not afraid of unemployment - a civil servant. But what many people don't know is that before he became a civil servant in City B, he had always been a "North Drifter", and his daily life was in a stage of worrying about whether he could eat enough, and he was not alone at that time, he also had a girlfriend who had been following him - Su Ran. Su Ran and he really met in college, he was two years older than Su Ran, both of them went to college in City B, at that time, he only had 5,000 living expenses per month, after removing rent, utilities and daily expenses, there was basically not much money left, there was no way to find a part-time waiter job after working during the day, and then he worked late every day to go home, and after returning home, he also worked hard to review the national exam, basically only sleeping for 4 hours a day. But he said he didn't feel tired at the time because he had her support. At that time, she had not graduated from college yet, she was still a college student, and the two of them made an appointment to get married when she graduated from college. The reason why he worked two jobs and worked desperately to earn money was so that he could save some money so that she would not suffer with him. In order to give her a more stable life, he resolutely chose to take the national examination in city B, which was more competitive than the national examination in other cities, but a year later, he succeeded.

He became a civil servant in City B, working in the Labor Bureau of City B, mainly responsible for the coordination and handling of labor disputes. Although he didn't like the job very much。。。。。。 But he knew that for the sake of her happiness, these could be ignored. In the past year, he was allocated a unit of affordable housing in City B, and his savings began to increase day by day, and he began to have time to go on a date with her. It was his happiest and happiest time, but it was also the calm before the storm.

The day before the "storm", the weather was unusually good, very suitable for dating, the day before, Zuo Tianci told Su Ran: "I am going to go to City A for a meeting in the next few days, you have a good time here, and I will bring you a gift when I come back." In fact, he just wanted to surprise her, a surprise that he had been preparing for more than 2 years - a marriage proposal. He prepared 99 roses, prepared the 99 group performers he had found in advance, and prepared to start a lavish marriage proposal ceremony.

That day, he was wearing a white dress and suit, ready to appear in front of her like a fairy tale prince charming and surprise her, but what he saw was only a scene that he would never forget in his life. Su Ran hugged a boy, and even kissed. He couldn't accept it, so he ran over and asked Su Ran loudly: "What are you? You are betrayal! What is better about this little white face than me?"

Su Ran turned his head and spoke in a loud voice, but in his ears it was like thunder: "Zuo Tianci! I don't allow you to talk about him like that!"

He came to his senses, dropped the rose in his hand to the ground, and turned away. Zuo Tianci, who came out of the crowd, didn't cry, he forced back his tears and returned home, the moment he entered the house, he cried, and the tears flowed down like a tide - it turned out that for so long, he had been just an ATM. For the next month, he has been in a state of insomnia, and he has been borrowing alcohol to kill his sorrows, but every time he gets drunk, he is all full of thoughts about her alone. He didn't even know why he was alive, and even tried to commit suicide by swallowing sleeping pills — which unfortunately expired and saved his life.

Listening to Zuo Tianci finish telling his story, Qin Yan fell into a short contemplation and asked: "Is it worth it? For the sake of a person who betrayed you, is it worth it?" Zuo Tianci smiled and said: "It's worth it, I love her, if it weren't for love, who would choose to regard her as the meaning of their life?"

Qin Yan shook his head and said, "Actually, you didn't understand what it was to be alive and why you were alive before. Living is not to suffer sin, to endure hardships, but to be grateful, you also have parents, you also have relatives, right? They have helped you since childhood, and they have paid a lot for you. You are dead now, are you worthy of them? People live for a purpose, why do they live? Everyone has their own answer to this question. But what I want to say is that you haven't found your answer yet, she is not your motivation to live, and she is not worthy of being your motivation to live. People who are able to do such things are destined to be less likely to find true love, and that's the reality. You've been living in a fantasy before, it's time to go back to reality and think about why you're living. Then I'll prescribe you a little paroxetine hydrochloride, you have obvious symptoms of depression and need to be treated. I only opened one box for you, and I came back to check it after eating. ”

"Okay doctor, I'll go back and think about it. With that, he staggered out of the reception room.

Looking at his thin back, Qin Yan sighed with emotion: "Why bother, why do you have to do this for the sake of such a woman?" At this time, Ding Chen quipped: "Old Qin, you said that when you enlightened this person, you still couldn't get out of it yourself? How many years have you been?"

Qin Yan smirked and said, "Doctors don't treat themselves, and psychologists are even more so." ”