But doesn't Su Mu really understand?

No, she understood, of course she understood all these facts, otherwise how could she give Ling Feng a chance again and again? But she still chose to do this, just to prove that Ling Feng loved her.

From beginning to end, she only wanted Ling Feng to love her, as long as he was willing to show a little bit, she could persevere. It's a pity that no matter what Ling Feng thinks in his heart, all his performances, in Su Mu's eyes, don't have the slightest love for her. Even in all the impressions he left on Su Mu, except for being able to sleep with him, she was of no use at all, and it was a complete burden to him.

Ling Feng didn't understand why Su Mu felt like this. When Su Mu cried and shouted this sentence to him, he was very shocked. She has done so many things for her, can't she even see it? Isn't it a disservice to him to say such a thing? He has done his best to be nice to her, but she doesn't know how to be content, and she is embarrassed to accuse him like this, is this what she calls "love"?

What kind of love is this?

Ling Feng would have such doubts and anger, which was not surprising to Su Mu at all. He never wants to face his own mistakes, and he doesn't even feel that he has done anything wrong, which is a normal thing for him. However, Su Mu didn't feel that there was anything wrong with her thoughts like this, because she knew very well that what Ling Feng showed was not at all proportional to what he was able to do.

He can do much more than that, but he is unwilling to do it, and he also feels that Su Mu is not worth it.

This is what Su Mu cares about the most.

This was not something Su Mu summed up by himself, but during a quarrel, Ling Feng said it himself. Su Mu had always kept this sentence in mind, although Ling Feng had always defended that the words he said when he was excited about the quarrel were not true, they were just angry words, but Su Mu didn't think so at all.

For Ling Feng's words, he had already shown too much. Even if Su Mu didn't want to believe it, the facts would force her to believe it. If she could, wouldn't she want to live in happiness all the time? If Ling Feng hadn't torn up all this happiness with her own hands, how could she have to face these dirty and disgusting realities?

What made her even more unimaginable was that after Ling Feng had done these things, he could still confidently put the blame on her, saying that it was because she was disobedient that he would do such a thing.

Every time there was a quarrel, when Ling Feng said these words, Su Mu would feel very panicked in her heart, she wanted to refute, but when she opened her mouth, she didn't know what she could say.

Is it really that she is disobedient? When he was kind to her in a different way, she didn't notice that he was having an affair with others, was she disobedient? If she wasn't allowed to wear a skirt, she wouldn't wear lipstick, she wouldn't go out if she wasn't allowed to hang out with friends, and even now, when she asked him what she was disobedient about, he could only say that she wore a skirt. So why could he accuse her so justifiably? Did he really think about what kind of impact he would have if he said these words? When he quarreled, he let her talk in his head, so when he said these words, did he pass through his own brain? He forgot after a quarrel, but how could Su Mu forget what he said? He couldn't even tell him an example that he was really good to her, what did he really take her to heart?

She really just wanted Ling Feng to take him to heart, but how long did Ling Feng keep her in his heart?

I'm afraid even Ling Feng himself can't tell the difference, right?

Because Su Mu woke up relatively early, and Ling Feng didn't wake up at this time, Su Mu didn't have any sense of urgency. It's just that at this time, her brain was blank, lying on the bed and not knowing what she was thinking, just looking at the ceiling, watching for a long time, until her grandfather came to call her to breakfast, she crawled out of the bed in a trance.

After eating, Su Mu still felt that her body was very uncomfortable, this discomfort was not quite similar to a cold, but it was very similar to the depression and anxiety she had consulted before, which made her start to panic unconsciously.

Although Su Mu's knowledge of depression is relatively large compared to ordinary people, and she has no prejudice against depression, this does not mean that she is not afraid. There's nothing wrong with that, after all, even if a doctor is sick, knows his own situation, and knows how to treat it, his mentality can't be completely so good. What's more, what Su Mu was most worried about was this problem, so she had been trying hard to make herself happy, but now it seemed that the efforts she had made didn't seem to have any effect at all, as long as she quarreled with Ling Feng, she couldn't help but start crying, and then she would cry for a long time, and her depressed mood would last for a long time.

She also wanted to tell someone about her situation, but she thought about it and didn't know who she was going to talk to.

Now the society is really sensitive to the problem of depression, and most people have a great prejudice against this kind of mental illness, even if Su Mu has been explaining to others before, some so-called depression is really not a mental illness, just a temporary bad mood, but there are really too few people who can listen to it or care about these things. After all, this disorder is very distant to many people, they have only heard of the term, and they are simply indifferent to what these things are, which is why they are more susceptible to inducing them to misunderstand depression, and after the stereotype is formed under this misunderstanding, it is difficult to change it.

She doesn't want to hear anyone teach her to want to open a little bit, not to get along with herself, she doesn't want to hear people say that she is hypocritical, that she is self-inflicted, she has a low ability to bear, she wants to listen to others coax her, tell her that she doesn't have to carry everything by herself, don't worry about other people's opinions, don't worry about no one waiting for her behind her, but she also knows that she can't get these things.

Because it was impossible for her to tell Leduo, Weiyang and her family about this matter, so that the two of them were worried. She also didn't want to talk to Ling Feng about the reason for the two of them to quarrel.

Yes, as far as she knew about Ling Feng, it was absolutely impossible for Ling Feng to be kind to her because of her problems, not only that, he wouldn't even admit that she was like this because it had something to do with him, everything was caused by Su Mu himself, and it had nothing to do with him, he didn't have to bear these responsibilities, and Su Mu couldn't ask him to do anything.

This was Ling Feng's attitude, even if he hadn't experienced it, Su Mu knew that he could only be like this. Maybe he will feel distressed for a moment, but Su Mu promises that this mentality will definitely not last long. He won't be considerate of her, he won't take care of her, and he will still put all the blame on her if something goes wrong.

He's like that, it's impossible to change it, even if he says eight hundred times that he can change it, he will change it, he won't do it.

Su Mu had understood this point a long time ago.

It was precisely because of this that Su Mu would choose to give up on him completely.

She can believe that in the future long after, he will also become the man who is gentle and considerate, and he will feel distressed when his girlfriend frowns, and he can also spend a lot of money just for the beauty to smile, but this future is too long for her, all her expectations and patience have been exhausted by his badness, and she really can't wait.

Who would give up the person they like so easily, but she is just an ordinary girl, she can tolerate that he has no money and no ability to give her a good life, but how can she bear him to hurt her justifiably and unconsciously?

It was already difficult for her to bear her own life and mood, and she really had no way to pay for his mistakes.

Su Mu thought about it, and cried unconsciously. She covered herself in the quilt and cried for a long time, but she didn't dare to make a sound, and she didn't even dare to make any big moves to be discovered by her family.

She had never dared to cry at home, because her family had always been very opposed to her being with Ling Feng, although they didn't usually express it, but if they found out that Su Mu was always crying because of Ling Feng, then they wouldn't have a good impression of Ling Feng. She was already very troublesome to deal with Ling Feng, and if she added her family, she really didn't know what she would become.

Of course she wanted to break up, but in this state, if she mentioned breaking up, she really didn't know what kind of thing Ling Feng would do. He really knew her too well, if he didn't agree to break up, even if Su Mu insisted on separating, he had all kinds of ways to force Su Mu to give up her idea.

For Su Mu now, when she thinks of these things, it is as if she will kill her, and it is no exaggeration to say that she and Ling Feng are together almost all the time in a life of fear, one is afraid that she will find out some things that Ling Feng has done to hurt her, and the other is worried that if she wants to break up with Ling Feng because of these, Ling Feng will do something very extreme.

It doesn't matter if she hurts her, but if it affects her family, then she will really blame herself for the rest of her life.

Moreover, everyone in her family treats her like a baby, usually coaxing and offering her, and she can't let the outside world hurt her at all, Ling Feng is also hurting her family in disguise by doing this.

How could a parent not love their children, if Su Mu's family knew that she had suffered so many grievances here with Ling Feng, would they be able to withstand such a blow?

Of course it couldn't be, so this was also the reason why Su Mu didn't want them to know what Ling Feng had done.

When it was almost noon, Su Mu got up from the quilt and went to the bathroom to prepare for washing.

When she was in a depressed mood, Su Mu was actually very reluctant to look in the mirror, because as long as she looked in the mirror, she could see the depressed and tired face in the mirror. She doesn't like to see herself like this the most, so every time she wears heavy makeup to cover up all this bad thing. And this time, because he felt that he wouldn't go out, Su Mu didn't even look in the mirror, and after washing with his head down, he was ready to go back to the quilt to continue nesting.

And just as she was about to go back to her room, her phone suddenly came with a message prompt.

The frequency of this voice made her tremble, because she knew very well that every time the phone rang like this, it was Ling Feng who asked her to open the door and he was waiting outside the door. Su Mu subconsciously wanted to escape, but this was her home, where could she escape to? And if he didn't open the door, he would definitely knock on the door at that time, and the family would definitely come out to greet him, and the scene would be even more uncontrollable. So Su Muqiang held back his tears and opened the door of the house tremblingly.

Ling Feng originally sent the message in advance, but it was probably because of the network delay, and by the time Su Mu received the message, Ling Feng had already been waiting outside the door for a while. He originally thought that Su Mu was reluctant to open the door and was ready to knock on the door, but he didn't expect that before he raised his hand, he saw the face of Su Mu who came to open the door for him.

He didn't know how to describe the woman who was standing in front of him.

In his impression, the person he particularly likes, has a face that is not very beautiful but is still attractive, although the eyes are small but always full of light, she often likes to smile at him, and the smile is full of happiness and liking for him, but the person in front of him obviously has the same face as her, but her whole person looks haggard, as if she has lost a lot of weight, there seems to be a mist in her eyes, and she has just cried, the familiar smile is gone, and even it seems that there is still a trace of fear in it.

So is she afraid to see him the way she is, what did he do to make her the way she is?

Is it really what he did wrong between the two of them? But shouldn't two people get along with each other to be satisfied with each other? He just did what he wanted, why couldn't she try to adapt to him, and had to cater to her? He didn't go too far, so shouldn't she try to change herself?

Or is it really all the two of them have to go so far? Any more step would be considered a loss to each other?

But how did they come to be like this? Didn't they be so happy that everyone envied them in the beginning? No one had ever told him that she was not good for him when she was old, and they could have lived very well, but how did they become like this?

He's really trying so hard to love her.