I have my own ideas about dressing: a thin coat can be worn in autumn and spring, and I don't pay attention to it, and when the zipper is closed, only I know what the clothes are inside. If it's too cold in winter, you can ignore it, wrap it thick on your body and keep it warm, and a cold nose and swollen face are fools. I've been wearing that jacket for five years, it's my favorite one, but the collar and cuffs are a little rotten, but no one else notices it. Before, Mr. Gong said that I should pay attention to my personal image, and I felt that I really had to change it. The next weekend, I happily went to the clothing street, the brand store is not good, the price is high, in fact, it is normal, I don't deserve it. The models at the counter were all successful people with good taste, and I came out in a gloomy way, and then went to the old street nearby, where the clothes were not good, and I felt like they were all stalls.

I didn't expect to buy clothes so difficult, the second weekend I went to a big supermarket shoes and clothing area, which showed a full discount, I knew this was a gimmick of the store, and the decoration here was also very good, all sides were surrounded by plane mirrors, the space was very large, and I was slightly stumped. The clerk was very enthusiastic, asked me to call a handsome guy, spoke with an accent like my house, we chatted funny, there are a lot of men's models in the store this season, although they can't compare to women's clothing, she told me about these, and praised my figure for matching clothes. She pointed out to me two rows of cost-effective clothes, and said that the sale was almost over, and the good clothes were almost picked by others.

I took off my coat and tried two of them, not very happy with the pattern on the clothes. At this time, she took a long blue trench coat from the shelf for me to try, I put it on and looked in the mirror, quite stylish, remembered the word personable, but I was not tall, the girl encouraged me to try, I just took off my coat when it looked a little unnatural, when she helped me spread my collar, I was even more embarrassed, I had never been so close to a girl who felt kind, she wore a round-framed glasses, it was so cute, and those little hands were chubby.

"You zip it up and see if it's tight. ”

"Clothes zippered?"

"Of course. The waiter replied with a smile, as if feeling ill-willed.

"Big brother, for the same money, I recommend that you have enough to buy a down jacket. You're going to work, you have to dress decently. "I listened to her and chose the right one, and asked the price, I had never worn such an expensive one.

"Five hundred yuan is too expensive, you see that the dress on my body is still eight hundred, it's really not expensive, now buy a winter dress which doesn't need to be a few hundred, and then with a pair of pants, I can give you a discount if you buy two." ”

"How much is a point, can you call the shots?" "It depends on how much money you buy." "The girl is also quite witty.

I didn't want pants at first, just to stay with her for a while, I guess it took more than ten minutes to enter the store, I went to the fitting room to try on the pants, and when I came out, it was a little tight.

"I'll get you another loose one, brother, you can try this one again. ”

I walked back to the fitting room, and before I could change it, a voice came from outside the door, "How about this one", I felt as if I had caused her trouble, so I walked out, and when I walked to the mirror, the girl squatted down, pulled the corners of my pants, pulled my pants straight, and from my high angle, the girl was almost kneeling at my feet. The pants are also thickened, "It's cold outside, it fits well, you don't want to change it off", her groveling and this concern made me unable to refuse.

In the end, the account was seven hundred and five. The girl said that she could remove the odds, "The unit price of these clothes has to be entered into the system, and it is impossible to miss a penny." He also handed me a business card at checkout.

I received the business card, knowing that the girl's name was Cuicui, and when I left, I praised the girl, "You are really good at business." "I feel like a Bole. I still want to talk more, but someone else is looking at the clothes, and the girl already wants to say hello to others, so she has to say goodbye to adult beauty. In fact, I didn't need to praise her, but later I learned that she had her own ideals, that is, to return to her hometown town, open a shoe and clothing store, and be her own boss. She already knows the source of goods, and there are many ways to sell goods, this is a resource, as long as customers are satisfied, this business is not difficult to do.

In the evening, I wore new clothes, as if I had celebrated the New Year as a child. I stared at the business card, there were two mobile phone numbers on it, the first one was supposed to be to contact customers, related to work, and the second was to contact family and friends, and I didn't have the courage to call for a private chat. It was a good feeling to be in contact with her, and if I wanted to experience it again, I had to go shopping for clothes, so I planned to visit again when I was afraid that I would be rusty after a long time.

The second time I came, I said I miss you, and the girl said you can come as often as you want. Actually, it's not all a joke, I'm a little serious about taking advantage, she won't take it seriously, I picked a pair of shoes this time, she squatted down and pressed the front of the shoes, as kind as last time, in these minutes, I feel like I've played the role of a husband, very fulfilling. I don't know if I should buy more than one dress at a time, or come a few more times, I like her, I'm just a customer, Cuicui's mouth is so sweet, so friendly to me, I must talk to her more next time, ask her where her hometown is, how old she is this year, if there is no one else in the store.

I deliberately chose a rainy day with very few passers-by on the street. It's just that my little cleverness didn't succeed, and I didn't say what I wanted to say, and she guided me throughout the conversation.

Also welcomed by her, I said I wanted to buy an autumn coat.

"Like you should wear pure white or pure black, the one on your body with a bit of a cross looks immature. ”

"I don't know how to put on clothes, I'm sorry for you. ”

"Yes, don't you have a girlfriend? People rely on clothes, you have to dress up a little smarter. ”

"Hey, I don't have a girlfriend, I wish I could find someone like you. ”

She smiled and didn't speak, and I was standing in front of the mirror, looking at the pale black autumn coat I had just changed.

"I haven't worn a round neck, I feel uncomfortable wrapped around my neck, this color is good, there is no V-neck. ”

"No, this one only has a round neck, and then look at the others, how is it the same as my husband, he doesn't like to wear a round neck. ”

"You're all married?" I cared about the second half of what she said.

"yes, isn't it normal? I'm all running for three. ”

"I didn't expect you to be small. ”

She was younger than me, but she did get married, and when she turned to help me turn over my clothes, I sighed softly, thinking that it was boring, really boring, and then I quickly picked a gray one, paid and left, I was not ready to talk to her anymore, and when I walked out of the store, I suddenly felt the urge to cry.

She can hurt me with a simple casual remark, I guess her husband's profession must be better than mine, they may have children, but there will be people who fall in love with her, why don't I deserve to have love? What am I walking in the rain for, I can do without the new clothes in my left hand, will anyone really look at me more because of the fashion I wear? I can't hold up those gorgeous clothes when I am stupid, when I go to work, I just work for my life, I hardly go out and social with my friends when I rest, the habit of many years has been ingrained in my heart, let them share, I am still suitable for living alone.

The places I wanted to go to were inaccessible, and some of the alleys were the first time I walked in, and there were already people coming out of them, so I felt a sense of humility. Some are dead ends, some are households, and in the city, others don't look at it much, and that's the only thing that makes me feel calm. This time I passed by a row of buildings of the Republic of China, I thought of a dynasty, thought of the modern genius in the storm, and thought of Xu Zhimo, "I am fortunate to have it, but I have not to die", and it is tragic love. These buildings were built later, much better than the current buildings, and the modern business district is a large mirror, which used to be really carved and jade. There is a temple in front, the scale is not large, it is being renovated and developed, and the ticket has not yet started, here I can experience the long history, there is an inscription showing the words of the Ming Dynasty, if the air conditioner is removed, it can be completely fake, and the costume drama is filmed here. This road has been trodden by countless people, monks, and tourists, and now it is my turn. There is a merit tablet in recent years, engraved with a donation of tens of thousands of yuan, maybe these people can really get a fortune, donating money does not care how much money, the most important thing is the pious heart, who has not done anything wrong, who is not a sinner? The water in the release pond has been inherited, and it must have dried up, otherwise there will definitely be more than one layer of coins thrown into it, and I am not the only one who has touched the scene for thousands of years. The glass is not so splendid, especially when the weather is cool today, the sculptures inside, I only recognize Rulai and Guanyin.

If I look at those science news, there are hundreds of millions of light-years at every turn, which makes me think that the universe is infinite, life is really dust, and no matter what I do, I will become inconspicuous, and I will have negative and random thoughts, and no one will tell me. I read Fang Zhi that day, the evolution of this temple, and I have also experienced this place as a small country, I think of the emperor, I think of prostitution, I think of myself, I think of fairness, and I am my own king, I can dominate my own body, I, a fake monk, if I really become a monk, will I be a love monk? If it comes from the heart, with the cultivation of hair, what impact will it have? I have seen a temple post a recruitment advertisement before, I really don't know what benefit it is for. Heroes come out in troubled times, I also thought that China has a lot of land and resources, like so many vassal states in the past, there will be more and more people with the ability to lead the country, but there will be more wars, we just live our ordinary life.

Who would have thought that the richness of my life was actually in a dream, it was cold, in this small room, at night I often dreamed that I was floating in the sky, in a trance, woke up in the middle of the night, touched my legs and feet are cold, the quilt is not warm, but the cover is not thin. The changes in nature are silent, "I still have to add a quilt", "or there has to be a woman" I thought like this, otherwise it would be a waste, now that kind of dream is less, holding urine, sore throat, will make me wake up in my sleep, very strange how a female classmate in the past would walk into my dream, someone vented is crying, I am relying on dreaming, I can't think of wandering aimlessly during the day, even dreaming is also wandering.

Once in a dream, I woke up and met an old man with a white beard. It seemed that this dream was all his fault, but the old man said that it didn't make me very tired, and in the eyes of others, he still made money, after all, he had lived more than a lifetime, and asked me if I would like to finish all my dreams in the shortest possible time, and there would be no more troubles in the future. I thought it was a bit risky, but I agreed. Looking at the map in a dream, you can walk one area in a day. One day when I walked to a minority house in the west, I asked the owner what kind of place it was, and the master told me the name of a city in the east. Then I asked where the nearest bazaar was, as if I had a lot of money on me but couldn't find a place to trade it, and I was already desperate ...... life. The host was welcoming, but I didn't understand what was being said. I said goodbye to the farmer and continued to walk, this time I met a girl, it was snowing, I changed into a thick suit, I somehow grabbed a large handful of snow and threw it on the girl's head, I didn't know each other, so I bullied people, the girl ran away, I was asleep in a barren mountain at night, someone pulled the sheet I covered, I woke up and asked what I was doing, that person was a rag picker, thought it was just a piece of cloth, I didn't expect that there were people, I also dreamed that I walked to a street, surrounded by a lot of people, there were many discussions, next to the pile of porcelain dishes like a mountain, it was a free gift from well-wishers to passers-by, only one per person, but there is no end to the people here, because there is no registrationIn the evening, I walked in the small alley home, but the people on the road could not see me, the uncles and aunts were busy, I was an invisible person, under the kerosene lamp at home, my wife was dismantling a sweater that had been knitted a year ago, and when the fire weakened, she picked the wick with a needle, and at this time my eyes suddenly lit up. actually has a wife, but he can't remember what he looks like......

The dreamer has another life in his dreams, and if he doesn't try to remember it, those dreams don't exist. Dreaming can only show that I am cranky, this is my own life, I go to work to earn money, I can do my own things, and I have my own time after work, so I don't have to worry too much. The company built a new building, the general manager said that this is the result of the joint efforts of all our employees, is the credit of everyone, originally wanted to improve the cohesion of the words, the audience was a discussion, probably said that they were squeezed, the manager waved his hand, everyone quieted down.

I didn't complain, in the company, I am already an old employee, the machines I learned to control have been eliminated one after another, I am also familiar with many positions, although the salary is not very high, I do not feel more tired. The newcomers who come in now are different from me back then, they are more difficult to manage, they seem to be aware of this pure employment relationship, they dare to talk back to the leader for some extra work, and a few obedient and obedient people are often called to do some errands. If I am a master, I also like those who are diligent and willing to teach those core skills, there are no shortcuts to some things, and you can't be clever. In addition, I think the most free is the head of a department, and the biggest advantage is that no one will criticize you if you make mistakes. Like Mr. Gong, he is only responsible for letting others do the work to practice, and the perspective of seeing things is not the same as mine, big things and small things, big things and small things, big things and small sections, to deal with the contradiction between the process and the actual situation. I was recruited by him, we were very impressed, one day I was not busy, he talked to me, asked me how I felt about my work, we chatted for a while, I remembered my original intention.

"When our boss first started his business, it was an underground garage in Beijing, and now it is slowly getting bigger, and it has also become a production base in South China, and people are going to grow, do you have any ideas?"

"What ideas can I have, I learned from the female master at the beginning, and I learned that there are production tasks specified in the workshop every day, and I just need to complete them. ”

"You have to pursue it a little, I remember when I first interviewed you, you were quite good at talking, I want to teach you to do management, are you interested, everyone needs to learn, accumulate experience, although we need more technical backbone personnel, but not everyone knows what to do. ”

"I knew that companies wanted to create as much wealth as possible with the least amount of manpower. ”

"Every company wants to save costs, but some people can't save it, there are too many things for the director of production, and one person can't manage it, we plan to divide it into several small classes according to the type of work, find a few team leaders, you are an old employee, you can count you a. ”

"It's the team that leads a general task according to production, and I coordinate it, and if something goes wrong, you look for me, right?"

"Yes, if there is a shortage of manpower, or if you can't make up your mind about something, you can ask the director to coordinate and deal with it. ”

"Oh, I might have done my own thing before, but now I'm going to worry about it, right?"

"Yes, you can let them do more of the work you have at hand now, and I will apply for a subsidy for you, provided that you do things well, and there will be a bonus later. ”

"Okay, I think you can try it, there are more novices now, and it would be easy if they were willing to be obedient. ”

"This involves a person's executive power, and I've told you a few times, to get your own image, you can shave your beard when you shave. ”

I smiled, I shaved my beard less frequently, I thought it was so steady, but I didn't expect it to be sloppy in the eyes of Mr. Gong.

So later, I became a small leader, in the workshop office, there is a place for me, I learned to make reports, I have the honor to go to the conference room for meetings every week, but I rarely speak, those leaders do have outstanding speeches, they wear clothes are also very ceremonial, I can't learn that kind of style, and two team leaders are recruited, and their mental outlook is better than me. I mainly rely on my higher education, and I am familiar with my face, and several people under me are also more honest, in fact, our division of labor is not very clear, eat a big pot of rice, I have a sense of responsibility, and rarely idle. There is a position that needs to be divided, it is a fine job, more miscellaneous, a few old men have no patience to do, most of them are completed by me, once Mr. Gong saw it, and went to other teams to transfer an eldest sister to help me, I am even more grateful.

With the increase in production, I still need to add another person here, two weeks of overtime in a row, everyone has complaints, I also feel dull, I think back to the previous life is really happy, can go out early shift.

I told Mr. Gong, he felt that it was reasonable to increase the number of people, so he mentioned it to the personnel department, released the recruitment news, Mr. Gong interviewed a few, the two sides were not very satisfied, one day, someone came to interview, Mr. Gong was in a meeting, said let me go to the reception, anyway, the person is used by me, just like that, I met Wang Meng.

I think that people are too honest or too slippery, mainly depending on the work attitude, a person leaves the original unit, there are no more than two reasons, or the income is less, or the work is not smooth, I remember the scene when Mr. Gong first recruited me in.

"You said that you came out when you were tired of staying in your original unit, and although you have work experience, you are a novice if you want to change careers. Now the economic situation is not optimistic, you know those who talk about money at the beginning, they are superficial. If you behave well, you won't be treated badly here. What do you think?"

"Well, anyway, there is a probationary period, in fact, my original company is quite good, but now I am ready to move to a farther industrial park, maybe the boss has to consider it comprehensively. When he said these words, the corners of Wang Meng's mouth turned up slightly, and I also remembered that that position had low requirements for professional knowledge, and I didn't really value it, so I told him some digressions, and I felt that I could talk about it.

On the following Monday, I took Wang Meng to the personnel department to go through the entry procedures, get to know the office, introduce each other to several people who need to be contacted at work, and do simple training.

A few days ago, I saw that Wang Meng was very down-to-earth, and he invited me to his house for dinner this Sunday, which I took as a kind word. When the weekend was almost noon, he really called me, hey, I also planned to go to the suburbs after a simple meal, but I couldn't say this excuse on the phone, he was quite honest, saying that his parents didn't want him to resign, after all, he had been in the original unit for so long, but he now wanted to prove that his decision was correct, saying that now my mother is cooking, and he is going to pick me up at the bus stop, I don't think I can refuse.

After getting out of the car, I wanted to buy some gifts from a roadside shop, but he dragged me away. Wang Meng had already prepared a cup of tea for me that was already cold, and I made another cup, and his father also opened a new bottle of wine, and there were specially bought fruits, peanuts and other snacks on the table, which were very hearty, and seemed to be very important, I was a little flattered, the family was simple and enthusiastic, very easy to get along with, and I was envious, but I was not good at it if I was grateful, and I only responded with a simple and honest expression. There was a three- or four-year-old girl playing with a wine box next to the table, shouting grandpa, I thought it was the child of Wang Meng's brother, and I remember that during the interview, he said that he was single.

We drank two glasses and drank again.

"The corners of your mouth are rotten, drink less, **, go and snatch your dad's cup. Wang Meng's mother didn't want her son to be thirsty for wine, looking at Wang Meng and then at her little granddaughter,

I also looked at the little girl, and then at Wang Meng, he didn't look like he had a child at all.

"It's okay, Mom, have you gone to see the soup? Wang Meng didn't take it seriously, and also saw my doubts.

After eating, Wang Meng's mother went to work, his father took his granddaughter to watch cartoons in the house, and Wang Meng and I went outside the house. It's nice here, small two-storey building with yard and a river in front of the door, it feels like home. He talked about his family, he had been divorced for a year, and said that the two met on a blind date, and they had nothing to say together, and they were finally separated, and the children took turns to raise them, and he said it very easily.

Actually, I wanted to go back to live my own life when I came out just now, but through the wine, I became interested in his gossip.

"It's a nice place to live, I really don't understand why you got divorced. ”

"We don't have a relationship with each other. ”

"Then why children?"

"I was a little confused when I got married, but it was also a torment to maintain a family for our children, and we both thought about it for a long time before making the decision. ”

"Is this house rented?"

"Of course, I have lived here for more than five years, the landlord is very good, the rent has not been raised, and the old man and I knew when I worked before. ”

I also know that Wang Meng's mother works in the supermarket, the time is from noon to night, all year round, the service industry is like this, holidays are their busiest time, although they don't make much money, but there is a convenience, for preferential products, these insiders know for the first time. Leave is encouraged when you are not busy, although it is free to deduct one day's money for one day. These people who take care of their families always have to invite a few days a month to not think so much. He also said that his uncle was very rich, became a factory director, and sent his two sons abroad, but thinking about it carefully, it didn't help his family.

"Let's go sing later, I'll call my girlfriend. ”

Hearing this, I was surprised, his life was really different from mine, and I always thought that going to KTV was at night, and said it.

"It's usually in the evening, until the early hours of the morning, and it's closed in the morning, but it's also open in the afternoon, like the hotel, there is an hourly room during the day, otherwise it's a waste of room to be empty." ”

I learned a little bit again. Wang Meng asked his girlfriend out, and there was a couple, the four of us went, and I wanted to call our colleagues together, but after making two phone calls, they didn't like to play much.

Wang Meng and the boy sang Tu Honggang and Tengger's songs, thinking they were very affectionate, but in fact they did sing well, I sang two songs by Zhang Xinzhe, each with its own feelings, and they all got applause, it seems that the girl appreciates me more, I can only look at the screen affectionately. The songs that the girls sang were also my favorite, and I wanted to cry when I heard them, and they were still there drinking, smoking, and giggling. An hour later, I knew it was time to go, and I didn't want to stay and have dinner with them.

The bus was full, I was standing by the window, next to two student-like couples, the boy was a head taller than the girl, the girl leaned on the carriage, hugged the boy's waist, the boy pulled up the armrest, and I was in the same direction, looking out the window, I overheard the whispered conversation between the two of them.

"When are we going to get in the car?", "Didn't you say you bought a house first?", "It's really contradictory", "How many years does that have to earn", "You can pay some money to live in first", "I don't want to," ....... The conversation was very childish, the boy rarely spoke, and repeated twice the action of wrapping the girl's upper body with his coat, "Wait a minute, it's time for me to get out of the car, you pay attention to safety." "The bus stopped and walked at the entrance of a university, and the girl was in the same position, very close to me, and when I felt her eyes slanted to me, I boldly asked Do you like him very much? The girl looked at me, did not answer, and squeezed to the back of the bus, not wanting to get too close to me, for fear of plotting irregularities, and I suddenly sobered up a little.

This is the courage of wine, I haven't drunk for a long time, and most of the people used to drink alone, relieving loneliness, and playing a different role. Like Wang Meng, he has no shortage of friends, and it is easier to spit out the truth after drinking, but I am still stuffy in my stomach, after work, I prefer to be alone, he probably also understands my character, and does not bother too much. In addition, Wang Meng's lifestyle also brought me a new concept, he once said that he had a serious illness before, which had a great impact on him, people always have a little hobby, some people have worked hard all their lives and have never enjoyed it, persuaded me to let go of some, I thought this was taught to him by a failed marriage, he said no. In addition to having a girlfriend, as a man, I have also done some bold things, and this feeling is unspeakable.

One evening, I slipped into a dance hall, where both men and women could enter, men bought tickets, women were free, not much money, I was in this kind of place for the first time, the lights were very dim, there was dance music in it, most of them were middle-aged, for sure, the young people went to the bar again, I couldn't dance, I found an empty sofa to sit on, after a few minutes the music stopped, the headlights turned on, illuminating the whole hall, the people who danced just now were sweating profusely, and no one came to talk to me. Maybe it's a staff club to relax and I just sit on that couch, flipping through my phone, and no one pays attention to me anyway.

I didn't decide to go back until I had the last battery left on my phone, and I was walking a little way out of the ballroom to catch the bus, and when I passed a community service station, I saw a woman leaning lazily on the back of her chair.

"Can you do me a favor? The phone is out of battery, charge it for a few minutes. "Actually, it's okay not to charge, even if it's turned off, it doesn't affect me to go back, but I don't seem to have spoken for a day.

"Nope. "The woman was obviously impatient, and I was so shitty that I deliberately tried to provoke her.

I was very unhappy, it turned out that this service station is a convenient place to pay for it, not a voluntary place, there are retail counters in it, and the price is clearly marked. In fact, there is nothing wrong, at least you can get service, but the attitude is not good, people are incompetent, although we all know that more is better than less, but why use the word service. I remembered the footage of the private interview with Weifu on TV, what would happen if I were a mayor.

The company has been busy for a while, and after work, I eat at the fast food restaurant downstairs and then go back early to rest. The following weekend afternoon, I walked far and found the feeling I had before, as if it was an act of revenge, I resigned myself to my heart, and what happened next became a reward for me. In front of a garage-turned-footbath shop, I saw a woman sitting in scantily clad doorway, waving to passers-by. The sign in front of the door is a barbershop, but for me as an adult, I already know what is going on, and there is still something ahead, I feel my heartbeat, the spring light. There was a woman sweeping the floor, a woman doing laundry, and as they bent over, I saw sagging breasts. A woman saw me looking at me and smiled and beckoned to me. My heart itched, and I walked over, still with an ignorant expression. And the woman is still smiling, but her appearance is not like that at all, the whiteness of her face is melted out, the contour of her face is relatively large, and her age is obviously big.

"What's the matter?" "Come in and do the service" "How much is it" "It's not much money, let's go inside," the voice was very good, I was nervous, always thinking about the bad, afraid of encountering criminals, robbing me or robbing me, but desire overcame fear, and I still followed the temptation curiously.

"How long?" "It's usually about ten minutes." ”

"Can you stay with me longer?"

"Haha, do you want to think about it for an hour, and then you can do it?" and judging by her tone, no one could hold out for a long time.

"I'll come back later. "I was a little scared and turned around to leave.

"I hate those insincere people the most, waiting for you. This sentence seemed to hurt my self-esteem.

I walked to the end of the street and turned back. The woman still welcomed me and asked me if I had gone out to take my medicine, and I said no. As she spoke, she pushed me into the cubicle inside, and this time I could have pushed her away and pushed the door out, but this time I didn't resist the fake orangutan.

I asked the price, I was embarrassed to say that I didn't have any money, and in this small room, the room was a little dark, and I proposed to turn on the light and was stopped. At that moment, everyone had something on their minds. I had already collapsed on a single bed, and the woman had only stripped off her underwear at this time, and suddenly felt that something was wrong, got up and quickly ripped off the extra sheets on the other bed, opened the door and put it on top a little, and then locked it, blocking the clear glass. This is a public announcement that do not disturb.

This was the first time I touched a girl's body, I looked at the girl's lower body, reached out and touched the girl's breasts. This woman has fat on her belly and is very loose, I think she must have given birth, but just now I pretended to be tender and said that my boyfriend was not here, and everyone had a ghost, but I was pretending to cover up the family.

"Can you take your clothes off naked?" I had never seen a woman's nakedness, but the most important parts were on display in front of me, and when she rolled her underwear up to her neck and pressed it with her chin, I was disappointed in anticipation.

"That's not good, in case we come to check, we'll say it's a massage chatter. Be safe and understanding. ”

"Don't close your eyes, can you talk to me?"

"Yes, what about your wife?"

"My wife and I have a tense relationship and often quarrel, so you should think of it as my wife tonight. I buried my head in her arms, thinking to myself, can the woman understand my desire? She was obviously over thirty years old, and I still asked, at first I said that I was in my twenties, but it was just to confuse me, youth is the most cherished thing in a person, and there is nothing more important than this industry. She brought a box and a pack of wet wipes, took off my underwear, wiped it briefly, put on a condom, when I wanted to touch her lower body, she stopped, regardless of the doubts and dissatisfaction with me, directly sat on me, I have no experience, let it be fiddled, curious, expectant, afraid, all kinds of mind changes, soon made a fool of myself, I also thought about the cloud and rain, the reality is so tragic, the woman has no expression, I thought to myself just now I might as well take some medicine. It's not a wonderful feeling, it's not about passion and venting, I still think that this is how having a baby comes about?

"Isn't it going to be pregnant?" I was nervous.

"No, don't worry. After speaking, she went to the bathroom to wash her hands once, and squatted for a while.

"I'm not going to get sick, am I?"

"How so, we're all very hygienic?"

"No, I'm not good at that, it's all over at the beginning. ”

"It's okay, you were too nervous just now, there are often college students who come to us, just like you. ”

"I came here to look for a job, and I didn't make any money when I found it, so when I have money, you go out and sleep with me. ”

"Okay, eight hundred dollars a night. "At this price, I was stunned, but did not show it, pretending to say that it was okay if there was a chance.

I felt sorry for this consumption and didn't want to leave immediately, she agreed with me to go to another room to lie down for a while, and said that there was a retail store that I could take and eat casually, and I saw biscuits, bananas, oranges, etc. on the table next to me.

"No, it's so uncomfortable to eat your food. I'll go inside and rest for a while."

I lay on the bed, pretending that this time with her was not over, and after the satisfaction of desire was a kind of emptiness, and after so many years of repression, didn't it all come true today? I didn't feel happy, but fell into a strange circle in the spiritual world. The computer outside the door kept coming from the voice, what orders did women swipe on the Internet, and they had to listen to classes, it was really weird, I thought their private life was the kind of eating melon seeds, smoking and drinking. After a while, the woman came in and asked if she wanted to do it again, and I said no, that would be bad for my health, and I knew that I would have to pay again, she was doing business, she was dedicated, and she couldn't have feelings. It's okay for the two to chat, the woman said that there was a man who was very nice to her recently, and every time she came from her hometown, she went to the station to pick her up and bring her delicious snacks, and the only thing she could do was to tell the boss that this was a friend from her hometown, and she would go out to sleep with him whenever she had the opportunity. I don't know if what she's saying is true, if there's only one kind of friend, and if I can do the same. Is it an advantage that I'm not married? From her mouth, I learned that doing this line of work is also forced by life, she has more than three sisters, she has stomach problems, her son is growing up, she wants to earn money to buy a house for her children, her statement exposes her age, no matter how early marriage and early childbearing, her son has gone to middle school. I didn't reveal it, it was her sincerity, but I didn't tell the truth, pure fragmentation is the transaction, the woman was very gentle with me, and knew that what she was doing was in the service industry. Although she has a bad relationship with her husband and does this by herself, she will never get divorced after all, who knows how many men she has dated. I think everyone is vain, does her husband know that she does this business, how much money can she make? She just said that the common disease also scared me, she asked me where I worked, whether I worked the night shift, and said that only then would I have the opportunity to earn more money, and now children can't endure hardship, I thought to myself, is this really advice to myself? Or does it mean that if you earn a little more, you can come over and spend more.

When it got dark, I went out to eat a bowl of dumplings and walked back. Tired of lying on my bed watching TV, I happened to see a program on the rule of law, and a certain police officer shut down a prostitution den, I really realized what I was doing, and I felt dark for a while, but immediately I felt lucky and empty again, for this time, I waited for so many years. The money spent was worth it, and this class meant a lot to me, and I immediately thought that I had learned about women and earned it myself. Life is full of temptations, and when you feel like you're naked, it happens to be a deeper trap. I am reminded of the gambling career in Guizhou before, playing cards is to win once will become more and more addicted, always thinking about my brilliant experience, I still want to go and want to go, and now I have fallen into another unrighteous place. I have done this, I am contaminated with vices, I am a hypocrite, and I will become forgiving others in the future, at least when someone scolds others or looks down on the lowest people in society, I will not echo it, so I think about it and fall asleep in a daze.

For the next few days, I wondered what the money I was earning. Wait for once a month, pay your salary once, or if you are satisfied with anything at work, such as Mr. Gong's praise, you will come once, this is a real reward. Although for some people it is very commonplace, like a meal, a night. In terms of ** alone, some people steal the forbidden fruit before they are twenty years old, and some people get married at the age of twenty and have always been very affectionate. Now there are restaurants everywhere, think about the food color, so many clubs also make sense. The tertiary industry is consumption, and I want to improve my concept, thinking like this, my heart is much more steady.

I have already set up a membership with Cuicui, and in the past three years, most of the clothes have been bought from her, and the brand is not very loud and the quality is not very good, but it has given me more opportunities. When I went to look for her, I wore clothes that I didn't often wear before, and every time I entered and exited the small door, I felt like a thief, for fear of being recognized. I used to think about abstinence, and I was meditating in that small temple a few days ago, hey, this fake monk. Now I don't have any rules here, the desire can't be controlled, but the pleasure has been satisfied the moment I see her undressed, according to the process, she is old, her skin is not white or delicate, fortunately not his wife, if he is loyal, he will guard this woman for the rest of his life, but what other women are like, it is still a mystery, some people may be born a little dark, there must be a difference, that lips attracted me at first, and now it is not an advantage, it is too red, and she still likes to talk, she can't hide things, which I also dislike。

This is what happened between me and two women, maybe it could be considered my love, in fact, I don't even know her name, but I probably get a little more joy and sorrow from it than some couples.