Cheating Zhang Baotong 2018.8.2

Although there are many reasons and ideas, the consequences and costs of derailment are very serious, and it is likely to lead to ruins and family ruin. And women are most afraid of losing their reputation and family. So the mood of a woman before cheating will be very complicated, worried, scared, self-blaming, frightened, restless, and upset. Cheating is indeed an adventure of life. Therefore, women will definitely have some mental hesitation and psychological preparation before cheating. But as soon as the decision is made, it will not hesitate to fall deeper and deeper.

It can be said that 100% infidelity is voluntary, and if it is not voluntary, it cannot be called derailment. Cheating is a typical manifestation of human nature's love of the new and hating the old. And liking the new and hating the old is an innate instinct of animals. Dopamine production can make the body and mind feel happy, but dopamine secretion needs a fresh stimulus. Therefore, the more novel and novel things are, the more they can stimulate the secretion of dopamine. A child's enthusiasm for a new toy generally does not last more than three days. Once a climber has climbed one mountain, he or she will climb another. After a king monkey mates with a female monkey, he will go to another female monkey to mate. When a bull stays with a cow for a long time, it loses interest in mating, and only when he sees another cow again will he be motivated to mate. Similarly, after we have seen a movie, we don't want to watch it again. Because new things will give people different irritants and feelings.

Subjectively, people will have a need for cheating, both physically and psychologically. If the normal channels of physical and psychological catharsis are not opened, this need can reach a very strong level. Even some temptations can be hard to resist. For example, a little beautiful girl can pour a large piece of Kunshi, and a small piece of fresh meat can stun a large piece of rich woman. Men are always infatuated with young and beautiful women, and women are easily admired by men who are personable, attractive, powerful, and talented. This is in line with the physiology and needs of men and women in terms of courtship. Young and beautiful is a woman's biological advantage, while a man's advantage lies in his strength and intelligence. The selection and combination of this advantage has been optimizing the genes of human life for thousands of years, and this gene has invisibly affected men and women. So, you will find that men will choose young and beautiful women to cheat, while women will choose fitted and wealthy men to cheat.

Perhaps people have seen and heard more about unmarried and unmarried cohabitation, and they have become much more tolerant, so it is not surprising that Hongxing is out of the wall and emotionally cheating. It is not a big deal for red apricots to go out of the wall and derail their feelings. It's just that this kind of thing can't be known to family members and acquaintances. After all, this is still an ugly thing in people's minds. Furthermore, cheating can leave no traces, so it is difficult for people to detect and detect this kind of behavior. Although there are many examples that can be used to gain insight and judge whether a person is cheating through abnormal manifestations, these abnormal manifestations are difficult to explain and confirm a person's cheating, and can only be suspected at best. Moreover, many people cheat without any abnormal performance at all, and they do not leave any traces at all.

However, this kind of thing, once suspected, is easy to detect. Many infidelity behaviors are discovered after being suspected. In fact, the discovery of cheating is not as terrible as people think, as if the sky is falling and a catastrophe is coming. Most men and women who are caught up in cheating no longer take marriage seriously. Therefore, when a woman's cheating is discovered by her husband and known, the woman will not feel that a catastrophe has come or that she is at the end of the road. I have asked several familiar women, what should you do if your husband knows about your cheating? One said that her husband had already known about her affairs, and she said to her husband, this is the case, if you can bear it, we will continue to live together, if you can't bear it, we will divorce. But my husband is a farmer, and it will be very difficult to find a daughter-in-law once I get divorced. So, my husband had to sigh and hold back. Another woman said to me that if my husband found out, he would divorce him, and I would like to divorce him. Another woman said to me that if my husband knows, he will have no face to see anyone, and if he wants to divorce, I will come out and live alone, and I can't support myself. What surprised me the most was that a female employee at a railway station had maintained an improper relationship with the leader of the unit for a long time, and was caught by her husband. Instead of begging for forgiveness, she replied to her husband: I slept with him, he arranged a job for me, and promoted me to be a duty teacher. I've slept with you for decades, what benefits have you given me? In a word, my husband was speechless. Listening to these words, I am reminded of a passage in "The Pearl Forest of the Law Garden": Someone ploughed the field and was bitten to death by a snake, and his wife said to people: "For example, a bird sleeps in a tall tree at dusk, sleeps together, gets up early tomorrow, flies away separately, begs for food, meets when there is a fate, and leaves without a fate, and we and other couples are the same." Later, "husband and wife are originally birds of the same forest" is a metaphor for the ease of husband and wife.

Women cheat because marriage has made them tired and bored. Cheating women almost unanimously have no good feelings for their husbands, and they want to get as far away from their husbands as possible. Still, they don't want to lose their marriage. Because marriage is their only wealth, if they lose their marriage, they will lose their home, their children, and everything. Therefore, the biggest concern of a woman cheating is that she is afraid of letting her husband and family know, so that she will come to the end of the road of divorce and loss. Marriage is a matter that involves the two extended families of the husband and wife, and it is also the bond that binds the children. It's so much more important than love and cheating. Therefore, there are many women or men who cheat, and even husbands and wives have long stopped loving each other, but the marriage is still preserved. I mentioned above two middle-aged security guards and women who have been temporary couples for more than a decade. The security guard's family is in Sichuan, and he has to go back to his hometown every year for the Chinese New Year, but when he returns to his hometown, he refuses to sleep in the same bed with his wife. And the Gansu woman has to go back to her hometown once or twice a year, but she doesn't let her husband get close to her. But that's it, neither of them divorced their spouses, and perhaps their spouses refused to divorce them. In fact, whether in the countryside or in the city, how many such marriages that have long since died have been used as decorations. How many couples have long been strangers, and even see each other like enemies all day long, but the form of marriage is still unbreakable and binds them together. Because people have not yet reached the level of affluence where they can divorce at will, and they are not used to the lifestyle of divorce without love. It is precisely this reason that is causing many men and women to cheat.

Cheating is never a way for men or women to have fun in life. If you look closely, you can find that there is too much sadness and helplessness in cheating. These secrets may not be known to anyone. Therefore, once people find out that they are cheating, they will label them with the moral label of liking the new and hating the old and seeing different things. Of course, there are many people who like the new and hate the old and see things different, but it is not the main reason why most people cheat. Otherwise, we see many cheaters who are almost unanimously in a deep pool of feelings with each other and cannot extricate themselves. So, don't think that cheating is a man or woman on a roller coaster ride and want to seek pleasure in the thrill. This explanation is only suitable for the kind of prostitution or the venting of lust, and most people will be true in cheating, and only true feelings can satisfy their thirst for emotion. Maybe they know it's a way to quench their thirst, but they don't have a choice.