I have no intention of fighting for spring Zhang Baotong 2018.11.11

When I was a teenager, Sister Xiuyun has always been the fairy in my heart. She has a beautiful appearance, clear eyebrows, fair complexion, a peaceful expression, wearing a pink top, a black floating skirt, tall legs, and a demure bearing, no matter where she goes, she will arouse people's envy. Although her family is a working family, she dresses exquisitely, has an elegant temperament, and holds a thick book all day long, and does not go out of the door, giving people a strong bookish atmosphere, so her classmates call her a talented girl.

At that time, she was in the third year of junior high school in the county, with excellent grades, good singing and dancing, and she could be said to be the best and most dazzling girl in our railway family compound. Her house is two houses away from ours, but our two families used to be next-door neighbors.

She was six or seven years older than me, and she wasn't in the same school, so I didn't usually pay attention to her. Once, she met me on the road, called me to me, stroked my hair with her hand, and said to me, you are Baocheng, you are growing so fast, you have become a big boy. It made me like her, because I knew she liked me, otherwise she would never have ignored me. I've heard adults say that she is small and big, and she doesn't talk to anyone when she sees her. So, I politely called Sister Xiuyun. She asked me what grade I was in. I said I was in third grade. She held my cheeks with both hands, looked at me for a while, and said, "You must grow up." I was a little at a loss, because my father died early, I had some low self-esteem, and I never thought that I would be promising. In order to convince me, she looked into my eyes and said that your eyes are bright and will be successful in the future.

Listening to her, I am very grateful, because no one has ever taken me seriously. Although my academic performance has always been very good, in the eyes of my teachers and classmates, I am just an unknown student with low self-esteem. Because she is a person I admire, her words are very impressive to me. Of course, I know that if I have a talent, I will make others envy and look up to me. In fact, her words have been ringing in my ears for many years, making me confident that I am a good person.

Because I am grateful, every time I see her, I take the initiative to call her Sister Xiuyun. When she sees me, she waves at me or smiles knowingly. Every time I saw her walk in front of me, I always felt that a pure white cloud floated in front of my eyes, and I seemed to be able to smell a fresh breath. I always think that it would be nice to be a beautiful and elegant girl, and if I want to be a girl, I must follow her example.

After graduating from junior high school, she went to the countryside with her classmates, and because she was well-dressed, some people said that she could not get along with the poor middle peasants; because she was full of anger and couldn't do too heavy work, others said that she was delicate and squeamish; because she was afraid of the locusts in the paddy fields, she was so frightened that she did not dare to go to the field to plant seedlings, and others said that she was a young lady. I've heard a lot about them going to the countryside, but the rumors about her are all criticism and belittlement of her. It made me feel very uneasy.

Once, I met her on the street and almost didn't recognize her. She was haggard, with a cold face hanging down, wearing a white-washed blue shirt and half-worn pants, and two braids, but her face was still white and clean, and her eyebrows and eyes were still clear and bright. When she saw me, she smiled slightly, and the corner of her mouth still hung the quiet crescent moon, but it lost its bright and dazzling brilliance.

I would love to tell her that you can't be so squeamish, cowardly and bookish in the countryside anymore. However, I couldn't say this, I just said, Sister Xiuyun, you have suffered in the countryside. She didn't seem very comfortable, and said self-deprecatingly, I was born to be the life of the young lady's body. I saw that she was very kind to me, so I boldly said, "People say that you are afraid of locusts." She let out a long sigh as she heard this, and then pulled up her trouser leg for me to see. Her entire little foot was dotted with scars. I couldn't help but be amazed that a beautiful and beautiful girl had so many scars on her legs, it was unimaginable. She said that my skin was not good, and the bite of the locust left a scar. Looking at this, I really feel sad for her.

Because of her poor performance in the countryside, others went to the countryside for two or three years to recruit workers, but she stayed in the countryside for four years. When she came out of the countryside, I was already in high school. She was recruited by our engineering agency to work as a general worker to build a railway in Qujing, Yunnan. People of her age are faced with finding a partner as soon as they work. The Railway Engineering Service is a mobile unit. Employees are generally looking for objects in their own units. However, people who are close to her age have partners, and some of them are married and have families, but she is the only one there. Originally, there were more men and fewer women in the Agency, and she was the most beautiful and graceful girl, and she should have been the object of everyone's pursuit, but in the end, she was left alone.

Some young people who came back to visit relatives said that she was too arrogant, too elegant, too serious, and even said that she had a habit of cleanliness, and that she wore cleaner clothes to work than others when they got off work. The sheets on the bed were flat and spotless. If anyone smells of sweat, she will keep people away from her. And others can't swear in front of her, and when she hears others swearing, she turns her face. Therefore, no one else dared to approach her.

Later, I heard that she met a soldier on a family visit. The two fell in love. I saw the soldier, he was still a company commander, his appearance was not majestic and handsome at all, he was still a little low, and he spoke a mouthful of Sichuanese. I can't figure out how a girl who is so young, beautiful, and arrogant could find such a partner. This is so incomprehensible to me.

After graduating from high school, I went to the countryside and then went to Xi'an, and I never heard from her again for many years, and I heard from my mother that she married the soldier and went to Gansu with the soldier. In the third year after graduating from university, I went back to my hometown and heard from my mother that she had also returned from Gansu for the Chinese New Year, and that she was divorced and living alone with a five-year-old boy. Her mother also said that she married someone because she wanted to leave the railway construction site. I wanted to go to her house to see her, but my mother wouldn't let me go, saying that she had a good face and didn't want to see anyone.

The year before last, when I was returning home for the Chinese New Year, I was walking in the family compound and heard someone calling me. I looked across the side and saw a woman in her forties and fifties greeting me. She wore a bright orange down jacket, a long red dress over black leggings, and long brown barrel leather boots. With long hair and a shawl, and makeup on her face, you can smell a faint fragrance from afar. I was immediately puzzled, because almost all of my classmates had retired, and I didn't know much of anyone who was younger.

I'm embarrassed to ask for their names, because it makes people think I've forgotten them. So, I asked you where you are now? She said she was still in Qingyang, Gansu. As soon as I heard it, I said, you are Sister Xiuyun. She nodded. I said I hadn't seen you in more than 40 years, and you were still so young. She smiled and said, "I'm still young, I've been retired for ten years." At this time, I took a closer look and found that she was much older, a little fatter, and her hair was dyed black. We talked for a conversation and then broke up.

When I got home, I told my mother that I had met Sister Xiuyun. The mother said that she was here to serve her mother, and also said that her heart was too strong, but her life was very hard, and she found three men, and finally left, and now she is still alone. When I heard this, I asked my mother why she had left all three men. The mother said that it was not the suspect's nest, but the suspect's vulgarity.

In fact, I can also see that she loves beauty too much and is too exquisite. However, women love beauty too much and pay too much attention to it, which is a kind of sadness. Because the actual meaning of life is far more important than the love of beauty, if the love of beauty is placed above ordinary life, it is not called beauty. After all, real life is not so beautiful, and it can't be that beautiful. If you put your love of beauty above life, you will easily be abandoned by life.