I thought that if I begged her desperately and begged her to come back, something different would emerge from her eyes. And yet no, nothing. All I could see from her eyes was a patch of turbidity, which used to be somewhat clear, but now even if I tried my best to open it to see, it was only cloudy. Other than that, there is nothing else.

She said I was dreaming, and her expression was so amiable, and everything made sense.

"Yes, I did dream, my dad was married in the third year of your absence. How did I forget this stubble......"

The corners of her mouth squirmed, and she squeezed out two words in a daze: "It's good." ”

I looked her straight in the eye as if I was going to devour her, "I thought he was going to look for you for the rest of his life." ”

"Do you want him to look for you for the rest of your life?"

"I ...... Unworthy. ”

My mind and body were trembling, as if someone had put a raging fire on it, and my liver and intestines were broken. Don't talk to me like that again...... We've never spoken like this before, and smile at me like we used to......

However, I overlooked, she was almost crushed by the life she had been chasing, how could she still laugh?

"The man...... Hit you, did you?"

"He ...... to me Very good!"

What a fart! I really want to slap her back like this, what kind of fairy mother is she, to be so angry with that person!

But reason won't allow me to do that, she's defending her last dignity now, and wouldn't it be too pitiful for her if I had to take it away......

My feelings for her are like dead knotted hair, I can't figure it out, if I don't want to tear my head at the end and break the blood, I can only take the initiative to cut it off with scissors.

"I didn't spend a cent of your money, take it back. I don't want to. I pushed the thick wad of bills over, but she wouldn't take it, but said, "I owe it to you." ”

"You're going to use this wad of money to compensate me? No, you're here to pay off your debts? You say you owe me, what do you owe me?"

"When I left, I was supposed to leave a sum of money, but I really couldn't get it out at that time. ”

"You're going to take it out at this time, and you're not stretched thin at this time?"

I still couldn't hold back and pierced her. She was the same as she remembered, my dad said that no matter where she stayed, she didn't want to be looked down upon by anyone. In other words, it can also be understood as an outward view of those closest to you.

No, I'm not the closest person to her.

"Take it back. "I persisted. The child on the opposite side was very fast, he had already put the money in his arms, and he laughed even more happily, and he shouted without scruples: "Mom, my sister is a good person." ”

"That's your mother's own money, and it has nothing to do with me. "I was so naïve that I was jealous of a child, and even thought that he had taken away my most important person.

But that thought only existed for a moment. I don't have the strength to stay here any longer. If you stay any longer, you will only feel redundant.

"I still have classes. "Lie, and get out of here.

She didn't even want to say that I miss you very much, and she was so stingy with even a word of sorry. What have I been looking forward to for so many years? The tightest string I have been tightening is still holding on, it has not broken, it has not collapsed.

That's fine, at least I know where she is and what she's doing. I don't have to wait for her anymore, I can stride forward with that obsession with her. I've got to find something to replace it.

Pushing open the glass door, I wrapped my coat tightly and gave her a faint look, "The coat is warm, I took it, thank you." ”

"And," I said to her, intending to turn back to her one last time, "don't go to my brother, for if he sees you like this, he might do something wrong." Don't go to my dad, you know my dad's temper. Do you remember what they looked like?...... You forgot. ”

I didn't dare look her in the eye and stepped out of the way to make the final goodbye I decided, "Goodbye, Mom." ”

You've lived the way I least like it, the way I least want to see it. But I don't want to blame you for that. Anyone has the right to pursue happiness, I bless you, I bless you from the bottom of my heart. 、

Don't think I'm too stingy with what I say to you, all I want to convey is one thing, I miss you. No matter what you live now, you are the one who gave birth to me, even if you have not fulfilled your responsibility to support me.

But I still bless you.

Don't look back, I'm not going to look back for you......

I hope you can bless me. In the future, I will definitely be a more competent mother than you.

I ran to the mouth of a dark alley and crouched on the ground and wept silently.

By the light in front of the shop, I saw her crossing the street with her baby in her arms. When the red light came, we were very close.

I didn't want her to find out what I was like when I was at my most vulnerable, so I threw a row of fingers into my mouth, biting, biting desperately, and not letting myself make a sound.

The traffic light lit up green, and she walked forward. I held back my tears, and a voice in my heart said: Su Ke, you are well disguised.

Like a balloon that had only been drained and couldn't float up, I collapsed to the ground, struggling and trying many times, and then I had to stop every two steps after I got up. The legs were weak, limp as if they were paralyzed.

"Zhao Yilun, come and pick me up. "I called, and I only said one word, and he said that the signal was not good, and there was a woman's quarrel when it was cut off.

That, next, to whom. Who's going to save me?

Then he laughed at himself and said secretly, "I'm not that vulnerable." ”

After two more steps, there was still no strength. It seems that I am much weaker than I thought.

No longer reckless, he contacted Xiaoliu, when he answered the phone, he was playing a game team battle with his roommate in bed, and withdrew halfway through the scolding of a crowd.

"Don't hang up the phone!" I reminded him nonsensically.

"Ah, got it. I'll go to you, Su Ke, think clearly, I still have an hour in the past, you can pay the phone bill for this hour, don't think about coming to me again the next day!"

"Su Xiaoliu, sometimes, I really want to call you brother. You've always comforted me, and I'm not like a sister at all, am I?"

"It's good that you know. However, you will always remember that you are my Su Xiaoliu's sister. If there's anything uncomfortable, be sure to tell me. Definitely!"

"Definitely!"

In the darkness, I vaguely looked at the roof of this city, like a fierce beast, ready to pounce and tear me to pieces. Never before have I been afraid of the darkness of this city, of everything I thought I could handle at this moment.