There were only two people left in the room, Zhao Yilun and me. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and I reflexively pulled back and knocked down the wound, causing a heart-rending pain.

He pulled his chair half a step away and leaned to the side. I don't know why I'm so afraid of him. When the doctor walked in to take his temperature, I realized that I was not afraid of him, but of all the opposite sex.

Fell three thermometers. The nurse reluctantly swept away the glass slag and mercury on the floor, and told her not to go barefoot when she got out of bed, and to wear shoes.

She said to check the bottom, give Zhao Yilun a look, and let him out. I didn't notice when he went out, I just stared at the nurse's hands, and she coaxed softly, "Let's take off our pants first, the wound should suppurate." ”

"Don't. I instinctively resisted, and after repeated times, she also became a little impatient, and only said, "Then I will help you take it off, you can't go untreated, right?"

"I beg you, I don't-"

She was really unkind, and the raised hand reminded me of the man, and her body lost its center of gravity, and before she could shout, she fell to the ground with a muffled sound. The nurse was just about to pull me up, but a pair of strong hands pushed her away and helped me up.

"Get out. Zhao Yilun lowered his voice and said.

"Then you can't leave it alone"

"Please get out. ”

The nurse walked away with a dull footstep, and the door creaked open and slammed shut. I was carried to the bed, my body curled up, I didn't dare to writhe at will, for fear of pulling the wound, and even more afraid of being beaten. That person, I know it...... Zhao Yilun is not that person, but I can't help but always think back to those chilling scenes, like I will spend the rest of my life in hell, anyone can ravage me in every way.

He let go and distanced himself from me. I knew that he was not far away, close at hand, but he did not dare to look back.

After a long time, half-asleep and half-awake, it began to rain outside. The rain crashed wildly against the windows, and the cacophony enveloped the silence that no one could break.

I suddenly felt guilty again, that he shouldn't have stayed with me, and that he had turned me into a burden to himself. But another voice in my heart said that if he could have cared more about me at that time, if he had made me rely on me more, then this kind of encounter might not have happened to me. But the thought came to me in a flash, and I have no right to blame him, and he shouldn't have stayed here for me.

After struggling for a long time, my poor voice did not drown out the sound of the rain, so I had to let him come closer.

He half-put his arms around me, and I felt as unbearable as an electric shock, and quickly leaned into his ear and said, "Aren't you leaving?"

Ah, I forgot, I can't make a sound, my voice is completely hoarse. Just as he was about to take a pen to write, he said sullenly: "Where are you going for me?"

"It's good anywhere, stay away from me. ”

He read my lips and smiled slightly: "I'm not going anywhere, here it is." ”

Do you really want to stay here, or do you pity me?

No, he owes me nothing, I owe it to myself. It's that I don't have a standard of good and evil, I don't have judgment, I shouldn't choose who I'm with at will, and I shouldn't trust someone at will.

That night in bed, I couldn't sleep all night, I didn't dare to close my eyes, as long as I closed my eyes, it was always those pictures that couldn't go away. It was also in vain to sleep lightly, and while Zhao Yilun was asleep, he took a piece of paper and wrote down what he wanted to say to him.

There is only one sentence.

"You should remember that when we said that we had a chance to break up, we really, let's separate. ”

I've thought about going on at length about our encounters, about interesting things between us. But I can't write it, I can't write a word. If you really write like that, you will inevitably feel that you are too hypocritical, and it is better to be straightforward. If you don't give it to him, you won't leave a way out for yourself.

But he didn't accept it, nor did he respond directly, he saw it, and put it aside indifferently, picked up a book, and read it by himself.

He placed the paper far away from me, and I wanted to remind him not to pretend to be deaf and dumb, so I picked it up and almost fell to the ground before I could do it. I didn't feel frightened, I seemed to get used to it.

The mental and physical torture had made me forget the ordinary pain, and when I really fell to the ground, my body would no longer have any overreactions.

"I ......"

The only surprise was that I could hear my own voice, a trembling, dry voice that came out of my throat, a small one that I thought I was hallucinating.

"I ......" I wanted to tell him in detail what I had been through, what I had been through, so that he could feel comfortable and walk away.

So those unsightly images slowly overflowed like dirty water, flooding my vision. In a trance, it was as if someone had taken a knife and peeled my skin layer by layer, and then cut my bones through the unrecognizable flesh.

"I begged him to come. ”

I did beg the beast, but the more I did that, the more excited he became, and he tugged at the belt and pumped it straight to my upper body, and his mouth was slurred with foul language.

I repeated the phrase again, "That day, I begged him to come." ”

"I begged him to come. ”

Zhao Yilun held my trembling hand, and the hot temperature spread from his palm to my body, "Don't say it. ”

"In the end...... Do you not want to embarrass me, or do you not want to listen to it yourself?"

"That's not what I meant. ”

"What do you mean?"

He was always silent when I had something to look forward to.

When I think about it, it seems that there is nothing memorable in our time together, and nothing that proves how much I liked him, or that he cared about me today.

"Don't feel irresponsible to me if you leave, I'll be even more uncomfortable when you're there. ”

I'm embarrassed, you've seen it......

"You've never tried to like me, have you, Zhao Yilun?"

"When I see you, I think of what I wore on the day I was abused, I think I'm dirty, what about you, what do you think?"

Look, I vomited everything I didn't dare to say before, and it took a lot of courage to overcome such a cowardly self before, but now, it's like losing my ordinary sense of pain, and I don't even feel it when I say these words.

He always had a look that I couldn't see, and there was a light in his eyes that I couldn't catch with all my might, and then he said calmly, "I didn't have that kind of thought." ”

"Don't push yourself Su Ke, there's nothing wrong with you. ”

It was pitch black in front of my eyes, and what I remembered was not a warm and romantic picture, but the beast.

He said to me, "You are not at fault. ”