The news of Lin Yuqing's marriage exploded in my heart like a bombshell, shattering the dream I had carefully constructed for many years. I've been thinking about getting in touch with her and building a close relationship with her, so that I can transfer to her side after I graduate. Her father was the Chief of Commission, and if she had offered him a job in the Agency, he would have gladly complied. However, all this has become a bubble and a fantasy. In those days, I used to sit on the grass in the corner of the school playground, hopelessly picking up the pieces that had fallen in my heart. My heart is dead, my feelings are dead, and I feel like my whole life is dying and hopeless.

Although I've never really been in a relationship yet, I've always been secretly in love with her. When we went to school together, even though I was still young and didn't know how to love at all, I really loved her. We didn't tell each other because we couldn't do it yet, but we knew it so many times, and I think she must have felt and felt this emotion as sensitively and clearly as I did, or why she would have given me her stationery box. But why did she just give up? And at a time when we were about to go our separate ways.

We may have tacitly agreed to it, but we have never made a very clear commitment, and such serious matters are often related to the happiness of our lives, and it is impossible to express them in very vague behaviors. Originally, I wanted to use the vacation to visit my stepfather and my sister and meet Lin Yuqing again, but she went to Hefei to participate in the training. This accident can be said to be a fork in the road in our relationship. My dream of marrying the best and most beautiful girl in the Agency was shattered.

Perhaps my dream was a dream in itself, and that the fact that a child from a poor family should marry the beautiful daughter of the Director of the UNRWA was in itself a break from the conventions of the past, because almost all of the most beautiful and best girls of the Agency were married into the family of another great cadre. It might have been wishful thinking if I had thought that way, because I was just a handsome boy who wanted to do something wrong, but I am now one of the very few university students in our Agency. No matter how poor a college student's family is, he is qualified to marry a girl he likes, because at that time, college students were the best of heaven and were respected and envied. I am now capable of loving her, even marrying her, and reciprocating with the affection and love of my whole life for all that she has ever given me.

I silently sighed, "Through the ages, there are no heroes to be found, and Sun Zhong is looking for a deal." The dance pavilion is always blown away, and the rain blows the wind. "When I think back to my old days, when we were in the same class and could see each other every day, how beautiful it was in those days! Although I have entered the university, looking forward to the future, there is a blank space between heaven and earth, and I feel that the years of struggle have been fruitless and worthless. Because I went to college so that she could look up to me and marry her in the future.

My sadness and frustration for many days were constantly watched by another smart and beautiful girl. In fact, she has always been around me, always looking for an opportunity to attack me. She walked to the grass in front of me at the right time, stood in front of me, and spoke to me in English. She asked me if I was thinking or worrying. I said that both thinking and worrying had no meaning for me. She asked why. I said that my dream was shattered, and that the lover I had loved for many years had married someone else. She looked very surprised, and said But you are only 21 years old, and you have been in love with someone else for many years. I said yes, I've been in love with her since I was four years old. She felt like I was telling fairy tales, but she wanted to hear my stories more, so she sat across from me and continued to talk to me in English, as we were both English majors. In order to develop the awareness of speaking English, the teacher stipulates that we must use English for daily conversation.

Pessimism and disappointment have been buried in my heart for days, and I want to pour them out. So, I looked at the sky in the north and talked about the memories of Luohe that had been blurred in the depths of my feelings. I was going to school in Xi'an, and the Luohe River was more than 100 kilometers north of me. I don't know how it is now, but in my memory it will always be so deep and peaceful, under the sunset of the eternal wilderness.

I told about my childhood, about my mother's funeral, about the beautiful girl in red. Because my heart will always have the wild and sad color of Luohe, my story is full of tragedy and sorrow. We sat face to face on the grass on the playground, affectionate and focused, forgetting the time, forgetting to eat, until after dusk and sunset, when the schoolyard and the playground suddenly fell silent. Then she said to me, in an English-speaking voice, with emotion, Oh, my poor child. Then, grabbing my hand, pulled me up from the grass. It was already a little dark, and I could only see people, but I couldn't see people, so she took my arm and walked towards the outside of the playground. However, I didn't want to end this feeling, I really needed comfort, so we walked around the playground. It was my first physical contact with the opposite sex, and it was a beautiful feeling to be held by a beautiful girl, and the evening breeze was blowing very gently, a little cool, and this feeling was really beautiful. My loneliness and sorrow were gradually blown away by the evening breeze, but a warmth and warmth poured into my heart like a slow river.

When I was a child, I lived with my mother and my sister, and my brother was already in school at that time, and he went to school more than ten miles away from home, so he always left the house before dawn in the morning, and came home after dark, sometimes even living in the school. So, my brother is very vague in my memory. In particular, Lin Yuqing rescued me from the Luohe River, and has always given me so many beautiful feelings and feelings in my childhood and adolescence, so I always have a keen and natural sense of closeness to women. When a girl took me away like a lost child, I felt like my soul had found a home again.