He just appeared in front of me...... For what I just said, I am both remorseful and glad. It's not that I don't understand how humble I was just now, my meaning is already very clear, I can not care about anything, just ask him to care about me a little, even if it is a little.

If he had been there from the beginning, I don't think I would have had the courage to say what I wanted to say the most.

Looking at myself again, I will always be so humble emotionally. But what can I do with humility, I have repeatedly reminded myself that if you can't wait, don't cling to it, and if you can't get it, you would rather never fight for it. Even though I've been reminded hundreds of times, when it's time to make a choice, I still seem so sad.

I've heard a non-mainstream saying, 'Even if the whole world abandons you, I won't.'" At the time, I didn't understand anything, and I complained that this sentence sounded too non-mainstream. Now that I think about it, what I should want to say to Zhao Yilun the most is: Even if the whole world abandons me, I hope that among the people who abandon me, there will be no you.

"What...... Why don't you speak?"

I held my breath and didn't dare to look at him again.

"Suke, we"

Let's separate. I'm afraid he'll say those three words. I know we're not really the beginning, but what scares me more than being separated is that because I'm so obsessed with the beginning, it's all over quietly.

Whether it's complaining or complaining, I have a stomach full of things I want to say to him, and there are so many things I want to say, so much that I forget what I want to say the most.

Without thinking, I interrupted him in a hurry, "You know what. Today I went to paint a mural with a senior, which cannot be counted as a mural, and then I met a particularly interesting old man, who said that he was dazzled and almost scared me to death. ”

"You know...... Did he say anything to me?"

"Suko"

I don't know what he's going to say, I'm really scared, I'm afraid he'll say separate, we're not suitable...... Then don't talk about it, at least I don't want to hear it today.

"Oh, I was bitten by a snake today...... Don't you think it's particularly weird, and there are even more weird things, that old man, he used a cigarette pot to burn the snake's head, and it was very hot. ”

It's obviously a funny thing, why is I so sad when I say it?

What the hell am I doing, what am I talking about? I'm not talking about that...... Did he find out at all...... I'm also very aggrieved.

My eyes were hot, I raised my head to prevent tears from falling, and my voice was full of words, "Just now...... I heard everything I said...... Right?"

"Get up from the ground first!"

I shook off his hand, and uncontrollable emotions poured out like a shower, "I can not know anything, I can not know anything when I say it!"

"Please don't do this to me again, don't leave me alone and go first......" I was numb, panting, tears welling up in my eyes. Zhao Yilun...... I'm annoying, isn't it?"

He crouched down and wiped the tears from my face with a tissue expressionlessly, and I grabbed his wrist and said the last thing I wanted to say.

"Do you still like her?"

He didn't say anything, because the look in his eyes when he looked at that painting spoke for itself. …… He's really an out-and-out straight man, and he can't even lie.

He withdrew his hand, a dim light floating in his eyes. "Do you remember the tree in the temple? You told me it was a blessing tree. ”

"Actually, it's a marriage tree. He simply sat down on the ground, and his voice traced the time to a long distance. "When I was a child, the first time I went to that temple, when I was standing under the tree in a daze, there was a little monk who teased me, and in the future, if someone I cared about, I could engrave the names of two people on a mahogany plaque, and then tie it with a red ribbon and tie it to the tree. ”

It turned out that our names were actually engraved on that wooden plaque...... The day of going to the temple was very close, as if it had happened yesterday. But so far away, so far away that I thought we had spent so many incredible moments together.

"I am the one who is stuck in the past and can't pull it out...... You don't have to be so yourself. ”

What will happen to him if he doesn't pull it out? Or rather, what will happen to us?

I thought that if he still didn't fully accept me, then I wouldn't have to stay where I was and confirm the answer that had already been decided. As long as you let go of your hand, everything can be solved, and if you can't accept each other's all, no matter how long you wait, it's internal friction. But I can't go against my heart, I can't restrain my heart.

All I could do was watch it drift a little bit towards where he was.

What I never dared to say to him was why I liked him so much. I loved it before I even discovered it. It was just because he said, 'I respect any choice you make, but you don't forget, as soon as you turn around, you will see me behind you.'" ”

Now, who's behind whom?

I tried to stand up, moved one leg slightly, and felt numb and painful throughout my lower body. For Zhao Yilun...... Now, I can really not know anything.

Thinking like this, I unconsciously grabbed his hand. The heart is mixed, and it is more bitter.

"With you...... It's really fun. I smiled lightly, and it was from the heart.

"I'll help you up. ”

"Zhao Yilun," I buried my head, "have you ever thought about what I would do if you couldn't pull it out? Do you know that when you couldn't pull it out, I was already sinking deeper and deeper, and I didn't want to ...... like this?"

My head was heavy, my breathing was not smooth, and I felt like I was about to suffocate.

I said to him, almost pleadingly, "What if one day you find that you can't get rid of the past...... I mean, if we are separated, can we ...... Leave me the chance to say we broke up?"

"I'm like a madman right now, I'm ...... I don't want to do that either, I'm afraid I won't be able to stand it if I separate now...... When the time comes, leave me the opportunity to say goodbye, at least I can comfort myself that I don't like you anymore...... I'd be ashamed if you had offered it......"

"Good. "He took me in his arms. I've never felt so cold about his body.

He promised me, just one word. Is that really the answer I want...... Why can you say it so irresponsibly, without even a little hesitation.

My mind kept echoing what he had said, 'I respect any choice you make, but don't forget, as soon as you turn around, you'll see me behind you.'" ’

Now that I think about it, why am I so stupid, just because of this sentence, I don't hesitate to do it to the point of stalking.

"I'm very sensitive, and when you really don't want to stay here anymore, I don't need to say it, I'll notice it myself. ”

I listened to every word I said, and every single one of them was so against my will. In this case, no matter what, I should have a big fight, but I can't do it, I'm afraid that when I struggle, he will also be uncomfortable.