I nodded, not denying that if Zhou Mingchuan's child had come a little earlier, I would have had a completely different life now.

I wasn't sad when I knew that the child was gone, but now looking at Meng Shuwei's child, I can't help but feel sad.

"That child of yours......" Meng Shuwei looked at me, "Do you want to give my child to pay for your child's life?"

After all, she still didn't let go of her guard and suspicion about me, it turned out that it was difficult to hate someone, and it was not easy to be hated by someone, and it was difficult to let go.

"If I say I don't hate you anymore, will you believe me?" I asked her.

"I don't believe it!" she replied without even thinking about it.

"Heh......" I chuckled, this answer was actually expected, I wouldn't have believed it a few days ago, but unfortunately now I really don't hate it.

"What are you laughing at?" she was a little annoyed.

"It's nothing, I'm really just here to see you and the child today, no matter who the child's father is, it's my niece, isn't it?" I stood up and walked up to her, "For the sake of this child, please keep to your own life in the future, and don't provoke people like Liu Weiqiang again, he has a criminal record and still works in a speakeasy." ”

"What's the matter with you, don't say that we are enemies now, even if you are still my sister, you can't control me!" Meng Shuwei suddenly became excited, did she care about Liu Weiqiang so much?

Without waiting for me to speak, she continued: "My parents don't care about me, why do you care about me, when I need your attention, where are you one by one? When I am bullied and want to be comforted, who of you comes to say a word of comfort?"

She is still trapped in the shadow of childhood, I don't have the ability of Jin Yebai, I don't think I have the ability to persuade her, I can only look at her sympathetically.

Meng Shuwei gritted her teeth, "What kind of eyes are you, do you pity me?" But what qualifications do you have to pity me, I have parents, in-laws, husbands and children, but you have nothing!"

"I know I have nothing now, I'm just alone, but at least I have friends. I grabbed my bag and straddled it in my hand, and persuaded her one last time.

"I really didn't know about those things when you were a child, but it's too late to say anything now, so let's do it yourself, I hope you can figure it out as soon as possible and get out of that sad past. With that, I walked out.

I'm really not a virgin, it's already the limit to be able to muster up the courage to come here today, it's impossible to face Meng Shuwei's face that doesn't trust me at all, and tell her the truth bitterly, which will only make her even more disgusted.

I had just taken a few steps out when there was a sudden pain in my back, followed by the sound of something falling on the ground, and when I looked back, a glass of water fell behind me and shattered.

Looking up to meet a pair of vicious eyes, I looked at her with a blue face, and asked calmly, "Meng Shuwei, do you hate me so much?"

I hate her because she had hurt me too many times with her own hands, and it was ruthless, unscrupulous, and deeply hurt.

But she hated me out of envy and jealousy, and those jealousies accumulated over time and eventually became hatred, which is a distortion of the mind, and no one can save me except the psychiatrist.

"Yes, I hate you, I wish you were going to die now, I wish there had never been you in this world!" Meng Shuwei reached out and grabbed another glass on the cabinet next to the bed, and immediately smashed it towards me.

Before, I was facing away from her, and she smashed it, but now I see her repeating her old tricks, so naturally I dodged it in time, and I have no masochistic tendencies.

"Then you can continue to hate me. With that, I left the room quickly.

Zhou Mingchuan and Li Muchi were actually outside the door, and as soon as I opened the door, I saw them, didn't they all hear the conversation I had with Meng Shuwei just now?

I looked at Li Muchi in a daze, he seemed to see my doubts, and quickly explained to me, "We have just been here for a while, are you done?"

Zhou Mingchuan has been looking at me since I went out, and his eyes were a little strange, and from this point I felt that they should have heard my words just now.

However, I didn't do anything unsightly today, even if they all heard those words, it was nothing, and I was not afraid of crooked shadows.

Glancing at Zhou Mingchuan, I said lightly: "You go in and take care of her." Then he took Li Muchi's hand, "Let's go, I want to go to the movies at night, can you accompany me?"

He was a little flattered for a moment, then nodded, grabbed my hand, and smiled, "Okay, which theater do you want to go to?" ”

I don't know what love should be like after leaving school, I just remember that Zhou Mingchuan often invited me to watch movies, in a large hall of the school, a movie was only two yuan, and I watched two movies in a row.

Although I took the initiative to ask to watch the movie, in the end, Li Muchi bought tickets to buy popcorn and drinks, as a man, his self-esteem is that he can't let me pay for it as a woman.

I don't know what was going on in the movie that night, and I even forgot the names of the men and women in the movie, but I remember the men and women crying and laughing.

After spending so much time in the cinema, I kept thinking about the question, what is the purpose of human life? What is the meaning of my life other than eating, drinking, and sleeping?

I suddenly felt that life was meaningless, that I didn't love the people who loved me, that the people I loved chose others, that my relatives regarded me as enemies, and that there were only a few friends.

I don't know if I was stimulated by the scene of Jin Yebai kissing Song Qingya in the hospital last time, but in the past few days, I always feel that I am slowly moving towards another point of no return.

I want to die.

During this period, I knew that Li Muchi's hand quietly wrapped around my waist, and I also knew that he wanted to kiss me, but I had clearly thought about trying to have a relationship with him before, but I still didn't have that mind at this time.

I can't do it, I have a loved one in my heart, but I am entangled with another man, which may be another reason why I want to die.

In fact, I should have died a long time ago, when I knew that Zhou Mingchuan was cheating and the other party was my sister, I should have died, so that there would not be so much unhappiness later.

If I had died at that time, I wouldn't have liked the little white who cared for me in despair, and I wouldn't have found out that my parents were so partial to Meng Shuwei, let alone provoked the man around me who said he loved me.

Without hatred as support, without the love of two lovers as nutrients, only three or two friends by my side, I have lost the courage to live.

Otherwise, Shu Menglu will die, free herself and others, Song Qingya will not be sad in the future, and Meng Shuwei will no longer be jealous and hate me.

Because no one can deal with a dead man.

I didn't feel a trace of reluctance or fear when I thought of death, and I didn't think about who would be sad for me at that time, because these things were no longer important at that time.

When the movie ended, I didn't want to go back to the cold apartment alone, so I asked Li Muchi if I could accompany me to have some wine, and I suddenly wanted to drink.

Why do you want to drink?

Because I'm drunk, I don't have to worry about anything for the time being!

Because I was drunk, I might have the courage to promise Li Muchi, I will go back to my hometown with him during the New Year, and I will go to see his parents and settle our relationship!

If I can still find a reason to live now, it may be the man in front of me, and he is the only one in the world who needs me at the moment, right?

"Lulu, what's wrong with you, you feel weird, is something wrong?" Li Muchi stopped, took my hand and looked at me with concern.

"No, I just want to drink. I avoided his probing gaze, took his hand, and whispered, "If you want to drive, don't drink, just watch me drink." ”

Li Muchi grabbed me and continued to ask, "What did Meng Shuwei tell you just now, did she scold you? Don't be sad, just think she's squirting feces!"

It turns out that there will be so many problems even if you want to drink a glass of wine, so forget it, I won't drink it, and if I want to drink it, I will buy it myself and hide at home to drink it, so as not to make Li Muchi think about it and worry about it.

"No, it's just that I thought of losing to Sisi last time I drank, and I was not convinced, and I wanted to practice more. I made a casual excuse, "Since you don't like it, then I just don't drink, and I'm not an alcoholic." ”

A trace of doubt flashed in Li Muchi's eyes, "Lulu, don't lie to me, I'm too honest, but I'll believe whatever you say." ”

"Well, I don't lie to you. I smiled and nodded heavily, and gently pulled him, "Then let's go back now, it's so cold standing here." ”

At this time, it was already more than a month, and it was the coldest time of the year, and it was also on this big night, and the north wind was howling and cold.

Li Muchi reached out and wrapped his hand around my waist and gave me the greatest warmth, "Okay, let's go back now." ”

I have been picked up by Zhou Mingchuan countless times, he will put my feet in his arms to warm me up in the winter, and he will go to bed first to cover the bed and then let me sleep with it.

Now that I am being hugged by Li Muchi in the same way, I also feel a lot warmer, but there are no ripples in my heart, the only thing I have is gratitude and touch.

The love born of emotion is not real love, I know very well, so I know that before I really let go of Jin Yebai, there will never be a true heart in Li Muchi.

Even if I did something to him with the help of alcohol, it would definitely not change anything, so I was stupid enough to think before.

Li Muchi hugged me out of the theater and went to his car, and then went home, and we didn't talk to each other much along the way, because I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep after I got in the car.

When I arrived at the apartment, I thanked me and went in, but I didn't go upstairs, and after Li Muchi drove the car away, I went to the small shop in the community to buy a bottle of wine.

I suddenly wanted to drink, I really wanted to, no matter whether Li Muchi was there or not, it couldn't change my mind.

How to solve the worries, only Du Kang!

Carrying the wine back to the deserted apartment, I went to the dining table to find the wine opener, and then stretched the wine bottle forward towards the void, "Shu Menglu, cheers!"

I've always thought that for people who can drink alcohol, it's the taste that comes out when you drink it slowly and leisurely, but for a layman like me, if you drink too slowly, you just feel an unpleasantly spicy taste.

So I can only drink with pouring, not from a glass, especially in the dead of night and when the mood is extremely low, drinking too slowly will only make it difficult for me to swallow.

I threw my head up and drank a bottle of liquor with an alcohol content of fifty or sixty that was quickly empty, and I burped and smelled a strong and pungent smell of liquor, and a spicy taste welled up in my throat.

My head was a little dizzy, and I staggered to the couch, obviously trying to sit down, but it turned out to be a fall, and then I simply lay down.

"Xiaobai, I wish you and Song Qingya to grow old together, and the house is full of children and grandchildren. I murmured, "If I die, will you weep for me?" because you say you only love me!"

I don't know why I want to die so much now, it seems that after leaving the hospital, my mood has become worse and worse, and my mood has fallen to the bottom.

As the saying goes, it's easier said than done, and it's always easier to think about than to do.

When I decided to meet Meng Shuwei, I thought I would definitely be able to do it, and I did it, I no longer hated her, but I forgave her so hard, but she hated me instead.

When I decided to try to accept Li Muchi, I thought that it would be good to just treat him as Jin Yebai's stand-in, but I couldn't do it at all in the face of his face that was completely different from Jin Yebai.

I asked him to watch a movie with me in order to further develop with him through the environment inside, but when he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed naturally, I was very useless to retreat.

Now for me, the only way to get rid of it now is to die, Shu Menglu is a bad seed, has no right to love others, and doesn't even have the courage to live, what else?

After lying on the couch for a while, I got up and stumbled to the kitchen, turned on the gas and sniffed, and got the smell of the gas, hoping that it would transport me to another world.

In that world, without these familiar people, it was much easier than changing cities, and I finally got smart and made the most correct and effective choice.

After turning on the gas, I went back to the couch in the living room, curled up on it and hugged myself, dizzy, and I quickly fell asleep.

I've always left my bag in the bedroom, but I haven't been in it since I came back tonight, so I ended up throwing it on the coffee table in front of the couch.

Not long after I closed my eyes, I was woken up by the ringing of the phone, and I took it and opened half of my eyes to look at it, it was Li Muchi calling, and I hung up casually.

His house is so close to me, what if he hears something wrong in my voice or tone and runs over?

Just in case, I'm going to turn off my phone, no one can get through to my phone anymore, I just want to go quietly, without any worries, without any fetters.

But holding the mobile phone, I was suddenly a little unwilling, not being able to see Jin Yebai again before I died was already the biggest regret of my life, if I could listen to his voice, it should be considered a comfort, right?

I got up and shook my head, trying to clear my mind and try to behave normally, before I pressed the shortcut.

The phone was quickly connected, I asked him if Song Qingya was there, he replied that he was, and then I asked her to give the phone to Song Qingya, I think I should apologize to Song Qingya first, after all, I have always been sorry for her.

Song Qingya's voice quickly came, "Hey, what's the matter with me?"

She still has this arrogant tone, but I am used to it, and I took a deep breath to explain the future, "I won't bother you anymore in the future, please take care of him, I bless you, I wish you a happy life." ”

There was a sudden silence over there, and then I heard urgent footsteps, and then Song Qingya's voice came very low, as if she was afraid of being heard, "What do you mean by this?"

"I'm sorry for you, I wasn't really drunk that night, it was just him who was drunk, so it was all my fault, I didn't have the face to tell you the truth, and I didn't have the courage to apologize to you. "I should have told her about it sooner, but I'm just a coward.

"That thing is in the past, you don't have to talk about it again. Song Qingya said impatiently, "Did you call him today just to talk to me?"

I have Song Qingya's number, but I didn't think about calling to apologize to her before calling, until I heard Jin Yebai's voice, I suddenly had the courage.

"It's not all, I still have a few words to say to him, and it won't delay you for long. "My head hurt and I was dizzy, and my voice was shaking a little.

Song Qingya quickly returned the phone to Jin Yebai, and when his voice came, my nose was sore, my eyes were hot, and I almost cried.

"Meng Lu, why don't you speak?" Maybe I was silent for too long, and Jin Yebai was a little anxious.

"Xiaobai, promise me, you must be happy!" I couldn't open my eyes anymore, I just wanted to sleep, and muttered that the phone automatically fell out of my hand, and my person also collapsed in the sofa.

I thought I could sleep without waking up, but I woke up that night, and I was woken up by someone, disturbing my good dreams, I don't know that I am marrying Jin Yebai in a dream?

When I opened my eyes, I was stabbed by the light and almost closed my eyes again, and then I saw a person who was exactly the same as in my dream, could it be that there was also a Jin Yebai in another world?

"What are you doing here?" his voice was a little anxious and a little cold, looking at me condescendingly.

"Are you still dreaming?" If it weren't for dreaming, how could I see Jin Yebai?

It's just that this dream is too real, when Jin Yebai picked me up from the sofa, I could still feel the warmth on his body, as if he really came.

He frowned and didn't speak, hugged me and walked to the bedroom, I sniffed, there was no smell of gas at all, and secretly said that this was really in a dream.

Since it's in a dream, it doesn't matter what you do, right? I reached out and wrapped my arms around his neck and snuggled tightly into his warm arms......