One night on a rainy day, I was awakened in my sleep, the rain was raging so much that it kept beating on the window, and I vaguely heard the sound of tree branches breaking, I couldn't sleep anymore, so I got up and felt a little thirsty, but there was no water in the room, I could only endure it, I fidgeted in the room. I don't like rainy days, it gives me a sense of melancholy, I am not happy to live in the first place, and in such a situation, it makes me do stupid things.

I picked up a book from the bedside and flipped through it randomly, and the dense words couldn't calm me down, as if they wanted to squeeze into my eyes, so I closed it and threw it aside. I turned on the TV, many programs had stopped playing, the remote control was pressed again and again in my hand, there was no program I wanted to watch, and I turned off the TV again. I picked up the pen, opened the diary, and wrote in a hurry:

The night of June 23 was stormy

In the story of love, I always feel that I have never been just a supporting role, and I have always been silently paving the perfection of love, this is not arrogance, this is a sad feeling.

I think that when a person has a normal heart for the person he once liked, love will die at that moment and will not come again!

Troubles and happiness are just a thin line, it's not that there are too many troubles, it's just that we don't know how to live, it's not that there is too little happiness, it's just that we don't know how to grasp it. You can walk happily, but when you walk, you will inexplicably leave like an escape, a bystander of love, who can play such a purposeless chess? "The outpouring of nature is better than rhetoric", I don't think it is necessarily, there is nothing, and the outpouring of nature is worthless.

Everything is still there, the traffic is busy, the people who are always on the move, who want to get more of themselves again and again, they may not have forgotten what they are seeking, they have forgotten whether it is worth it. It's just, it's just that I'm alive, I'm still sad, I'm still confused, I can't see the world, I can't see the people in other lives, what do they want, and what do I want? enjoyment, money, or a home? Now I don't know, all of a sudden, it doesn't matter. I think someone told me: what is the meaning of existence? It's such a terrible topic that we don't want to talk about on many occasions, but we are all rushing to exist, and we always want to find a satisfactory answer.

At one point, I took my ignorance as my personality, thinking that there was only panic at the beginning and no end to my heart, that as long as there was love, my heart would not be lonely, and that I could keep everything that should have belonged to me......

But now all that follows me is endless speculation and distant unknowns. I'm wondering, is it true that people can feel the existence of happiness the more realistic they are, or will they forget the pain of leaving when they have real happiness?

Maybe that's it, life gives us too many things that we can't take away completely, leaving behind fragmentary memories so that we still have room for reminiscence and yearning, so that we will not be sad in the future journey to no happiness to find, after experiencing some things, I finally understand that a single life can not bring priceless wealth, as much as possible to experience to have the courage to continue to face life. Just like understanding a person, you have to give him the opportunity and time, and slowly find each other's similarities, so that it is possible to be close to the good and close to the beauty in the moment of pursuit.

The prophecy of the past has become the truth of the present, and my youth has been stranded at this time and place, waiting for reality to give me an ending that I have to accept, and then counting the memories floating in the wind in the loneliness that follows. It must be, people who have been forgotten by others will also think of people who have forgotten others! The seeds of love have been buried forever in an instant! It's just that for all kinds of other things in the past, I can faintly and deeply remember them.

The remnants of the night are still vaguely dreamy, that's all!

………………………………………………

I was scribbling, I didn't know what I was writing, I put down my pen and couldn't write anymore.

I thought of Guan Wenlan, thinking about what she was doing now? Is she asleep? Maybe she wasn't asleep at all, thinking about each other like me, I was immersed in my own thoughts, as if this really happened, I seemed to hear Guan Wenlan talking to me, saying that she missed me, that she was also raining, that she was scared alone, let me go to accompany her, the corners of my mouth showed a few smiles, I felt that I was no longer so anxious, the rain was quieter, I tried to lie down again, but sleepiness hit, I closed my eyes and fell asleep again.

The next day, the rain stopped, I got up when it was almost noon, ran to the kitchen and drank cold water, my mother was cooking, and I told her that the admission notice was coming out soon, saying that I was going to the county seat. My mother asked me when I would come back, I said it depended, and in the afternoon I asked my mother for a few hundred yuan in pocket money and took the car to the county seat. The road from my home to the county seat is nothing new to me, a few years ago in order to widen the road, all the green trees on both sides were cut down, and since then it has not been planted, leaving only the bare road surface very ugly.

I slept all the way to the county seat!

As soon as I got out of the car, I went straight to the second-hand market. I've always wanted to buy a mobile phone, but I don't have the money, so I thought about buying a second-hand first, so I came to a mobile phone store, chose one, and got a mobile phone card, and it was okay to use.

My first call was to Guan Wenlan, who was watching TV.

"Hey, Guan Wenlan?"

"En, Chen Zhuo?"

"It's me"

"You didn't call me until now"

"I'm waiting for it. ”

", I didn't. ”

"Why?"

"Watching TV, what about you?"

"I'm in town, wait for you to come to me, I bought a mobile phone, the old one, this is my number. ”

"Really?"

"Well, I'll go to the pony first. ”

"Hee-hee, well, I'll go later, wait for me!" she hung up.

I called the pony again, and the pony picked up,

"Hey, who?"

"Your uncle. ”

"I'm your uncle, who are you?"

"Haha, Chen Zhuo. “

"It's you brute,"

"I'm coming, open the door for me, I'll be there soon. ”

"Where are you? You said you're here?"

…………

"This mobile phone you bought, it's okay"

"Make do with it first, it's convenient to call!"

"I've been bored to death these days, soaking in Internet cafes all day, and there's nothing else to do. ”

"Me too, I couldn't hold it back at home and ran over. ”

"You can check the score tomorrow,"

"Well, I wonder if I can be admitted?"

"Does Guan Wenlan know you're here?"

"I've called, she'll be over in a moment!"

"It's okay, you kid treats me as your own!"

"How can you be?" borrow, borrow, I'll invite you to dinner,"

"You have to eat, let's go. ”

"Let's go!" We went out,

I was about to call Guan Wenlan when I saw her waving to this side, holding her mother's mobile phone in her hand, walking up to me and saying, "It's so hot", she asked where to go, I said go to dinner, we came to a small restaurant.

At the dinner table, we talked and laughed, Guan Wenlan said that acquaintances can be seen everywhere on the street, it seems that the classmates have not gone home after graduation, most of them have rented short-term houses here, and it seems that they are going to die for the summer vacation!