At this point, I had to put away my unknown anger, and no matter how much I collapsed, I couldn't save the situation, but life had to go on.

This incident has made me realize that whether it is to accept reality or challenge fate, it is a way for us to enrich ourselves, and whether we live well or not has nothing to do with the method, it depends on our thinking and actions! Going against the grain is never the most secure way of life, when you are in a situation where you think you are very pessimistic, don't try to be cynical and willingly bear it, you have to think of reality, so that you can become down-to-earth.

I didn't rush to think about what to do in the future, I always felt that everything was going to change, so I should spend more time with these friends, this is the last time I can stay together, and I become sad!

Speaking of sadness, we have to talk about loneliness!

Although I always stay with them, I often feel lonely, and a large part of my state is cultivated in school.

From middle school to high school, in six years, I went from not knowing anything to not wanting to understand anything, and at that time, it was easiest to be instilled with a single thought: study hard, make progress every day! Almost every detail of life is related to "learn well" When it comes to the relationship, the teachers can accurately grasp the weakness of most students, they know when to be sensational, when to be strict, when to be amiable, and tell you how much parents want their children to become talents, for everything to be better tomorrow, and so on, you can't immediately put aside all distractions and study hard, as if you are sorry for yourself if you are not admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University!

This is my weakness, as soon as others are soft and hard bubbles, I will finish playing, and I have to fall into it, so I secretly decided to study hard for a while, but because I was too stupid to master all the knowledge, I became discouraged, and then turned to frequent fantasies, fantasizing about something, some things that are unlikely to be achieved in real life, the deeper the fantasy, the deeper the more I can't extricate myself, and finally I get sadness!

You can imagine how much courage and professionalism it takes for a teacher to reveal what little sentimentality he has left in order to make you empathize with him before he speaks gibberish.

When I first entered junior high school, I was a little kid who had never been out of the house, and suddenly had to face everything unfamiliar alone, attending a boarding school dozens of miles away from home, and I didn't get used to it for a long time. I remember not long after the start of school, a Chinese class, we were learning "Back", a song before class I don't know who proposed to sing "often go home to see", I was homesick in my heart is not a taste, maybe many people feel the same as me, this song is lifeless, when talking about the old father sent his son to the platform, when he turned back and staggered, the teacher stopped, and chatted with us warmly, the tone was slow and tactful, very sensational, otherwise how could it be said that father's love is as heavy as a mountain? We were brought into it by this emotion, and we had a sad feeling, and when he asked us to sing that song again, my classmates were already crying, and I was also moved to a mess, crying a lot. Always learning in this atmosphere, how can the state be good!

Even when the parent-teacher meeting is also very sensational, the teacher first asked us to write a letter to our parents, and then when the parent-teacher meeting took a few of the most touching letters for the students to read in front of the parents, including me, because I was a good child at the time, the teacher's words are the day, so the writing is particularly emotional, usually to the parents dare not say the words are all out, you can imagine, how moved my parents are, this is not over, after that, the teacher published the letter I wrote in the school newspaper, and then somehow encouraged me to write another essay on family affection, until now I still remember the title of the essay, called"Thoughts in the Wind" is written about missing my sister, and every time I go home, I can see each other, what is there to think? I am tormented, and I hate to hide my head in my stomach.

In the following time, I rejected this kind of spiritual comfort in the name of love, and the pressure was very great, but fortunately I found a way to transfer this emotion, that is, how to relax, and what to do, but because it was too relaxed, it was not taken back, and it became this result, and the unsatisfactory college entrance examination also has a large part of this reason.

Hey, my college entrance examination, my girl, my brothers and sisters, my fragments, my worthless story, when should everything end for me?

Now, I want to talk about death, although I am not dead, although I am not qualified to talk about death.

Haruki Murakami said: Death is not the opposite of life, but eternal as a part of life.

Death lurks in our lives.

He also said that once a person dies, he never loses anything again, and this is the starting point of death.

I am now a living being, with a form of existence, an attitude, and a meaning, but will these still exist after death? Will I still form another life form through these? Will my existence after death be the same as my own existence, but the space is different? I don't know, the death of people and animals, the back and forth of the four seasons, the disappearance of abilities, does this all represent the way of death? It (death) is no longer concrete, for me it is no longer just the death of matter, but it is very likely to be another continuation of matter; maybe life and death are not opposites, maybe life and death are similar, death and life are just a comma between them! Forgive me for my ignorance, forgive me for talking nonsense without dying, after all, no one can accurately express death, I really wish that someone would come back from the dead, and then tell me about what happens after death, maybe it is more joyful than living!

The failure of the college entrance examination and the imminent separation of friends made me feel that I was no longer energetic to live, and I was a little numb, so I thought of death, this was not an alarm, this was the state at that time!

Guan Wenlan said that if I die, she won't live anymore, of course this is a joke!

No one can live without anyone, only who is not accustomed to whom, and in the end, this habit has become a feeling, diluted into fragments of memory.

For death, Xiao Wu has his own opinion, he can't tolerate slowly aging to death, this is a long and helpless process, he wants to control death, that is, he chooses death, not let death choose him, his favorite method of death is suicide, which makes him have a desire to control, he said why do people have to wait, wait to be born, wait to grow up, wait for all the arrangements, and finally even have to wait for death, what is the point of being a man! I don't know if he has any truth or not, but he blinded me again and again.

Also, for those who don't know how to live, death is the best solution!

And I can't die, I think, I have a better life!