After dinner in the afternoon, my son put down the dishes and chopsticks and ran out. "Joy, you're not studying?" I asked. "Dad, today is the fifth star, tomorrow I won't go to school, I'm going to play. As soon as he finished speaking, he turned out of the alley and disappeared.

Looking at the sunset dyeing the western sky an orange-yellow, the clear sky overhead is only a trace of clouds, and the warm spring breeze adds new green to the trees. When you are relaxing, breathing in the warm scent of spring is a joy in itself. "It must be nice to go to a desert park on a day like this. I muttered to myself.

"It's good to go anywhere on a day like this. "My wife came behind me at some point.

"The weather is so nice, let's go to the desert park for a walk?"

The wife snorted with her nose. said: "A person in a sand nest has been in a sand nest for a lifetime, and you are not annoyed." If you want to turn, you go by yourself, and I'll go for beauty. ”

We both went our separate ways.

I walked along the sheep's gut trail in the grove to the east towards the artificial lake in the desert park. Come to the artificial lake, step up to the observation deck and look out at the town of Gillantai. The sound of music drifted from the roller skating rink in the middle of the street. I guess he was rollerblading, but on second thought, it couldn't be, because he didn't ask for money when he left.

After dusk, the night covers the land. The clear moonlight, dark and silent, a kind of thinking mood floated over from there.

The breeze worked lightly on the dry reeds, causing the reeds to make their trills from time to time. My heart also continued to chew on what is the best starting point for educating people with the trill.

Nine times out of ten, life is unsatisfactory, and failure is inevitable. Some people will lose their will and courage when they encounter failure, and will be repelled by it, while others will learn from their failures and turn them into motivation to move forward. I hope that my son can become the latter kind of person, but where is the road to education? Although everyone knows that quality education is the lifeline of children in the future society, quality is a thing that is nowhere and difficult to deal with. Summing up those who have gone from failure to success, they are loyal, upright, hopeful, optimistic, courageous, creative, generous, accommodating, witty, gracious and reasonable, and can also think from the perspective of others. I think these may be the balance of the I Ching, or the qualities of quality education! Obviously, these qualities cannot be in books and classrooms.

The struggles and interactions in life can make people have a "don't do it" mentality, just like a son playing animation cards, he will rack his brains for "win". Once this kind of mentality is fixed, it will motivate people to move forward for life, and this mentality may be the root of quality.

What role should parents play for their children's development? After thinking about it, I set three for myself: First, insist on reciting for ten minutes every day to enhance my confidence in myself. The second is to develop children's interest in life outside of learning and enhance emotional stability. The third is to respect children's right to choose and cultivate a sense of responsibility. Such a bold, hands-free, and self-learning educational idea to guide children to live and learn on their own has been finalized in my heart.

It was half past nine when I got home, and my wife hadn't come back yet. I'm home alone. Quiet, on the contrary, makes me uneasy. When my wife returns, I will tell her my new idea, which is so bold that she has never heard of it. After a while, the wife returned, "Well, the son hasn't come yet?" she asked.

"He, it's good to be back at eleven o'clock today. I said, "Wife, you're so beautiful!"

"Really?" the wife shook her cuffs and stretched out her snow-white hand to pull her hair back.

"Of course. I said as I walked over and took her in my arms......

When everything calmed down, I said, "I'm ready to change the way I educate my children." ”

"Haven't you been changing? and you're seeing results. Just talking about homework and letting adults urge it is significantly less. ”

"That's exactly the problem. I said, "Those rules are what the child does according to the rules of the adults, not what he really does." Only when people own their own actions can they have real meaning and real effects. I said.

"Whose child's behavior is not controlled by adults from an early age?"

"It's what everyone is doing to manage children and make rules, but I don't think it's right. ”

"Your words are too big. The wife said, "There are too many denials, even the current school education methods are also denied?"

"Yes, but immature. But I have made up my mind and am ready to guide my children on the path of self-education. ”

"Can you be specific?" asked the wife with concern.

"Why can foreign children grow up alive and kick, and when they grow up, they not only invent and create, but also continue to win the Nobel Prize in science. However, Chinese children have studied hard and died since they were young, but when they grow up, not many of them have the habit of lifelong learning. In the West, however, nearly 70% of adults have applied for a negative reading card. ”

"What is the cause of this?" asked the wife.

"I think it's the result of this wrong system. It is difficult for a child with a bad score to give a good face at school. Think about it, how many children can withstand such a blow for more than 10 years? Under this blow, many students have changed even the most basic character of being a human being, and it is really ridiculous to expect him to study all his life and serve the country. If the ideology of a nation is composed of people with bad character, the result is unimaginable. ”

"Alarmist. The people who run the state education can't even find out about such a big problem? Then again, the way you educated your son is new enough, do you know what other people are saying?"

"What?"

"Say you don't understand anything. Nonsense. ”

"I was prepared. I said, "It is extremely difficult, and basically impossible, to get a group of thinking old people to accept new knowledge." I said.

"Actually, I've always thought you're fooling around, but I can't talk about you, your methods are really incomprehensible. But I do feel that my son has an ability from reciting ancient poems. As for what you said about the character of students, that's a matter of state. I don't want to know about this, I don't have the slightest thought, I only care about my son. Your previous messy methods can kill people with novelty, and now the new methods are not new?"

"Yes and no. It was a kind of education that 'the form is scattered but the spirit is not dispersed'. ”

"I feel that you have a very clear view of education," said my wife, "and I would love to hear your thoughts." ”

"I want to build children's emotional attitude towards life from the aspect of quality education. I want to complete three tasks as soon as possible: First, insist on reciting for 10 minutes every day to boost my child's self-confidence. Second, I want to find a way to let children integrate into nature, because nature can educate people peacefully, and can bring people balance that no book knowledge can bring, and third, I want to give children the freedom to live and learn. ”

"I don't agree," said the wife, "have you forgotten about your son's visit to an Internet café?" It's okay to go to nature to exercise your body properly, but if you take it seriously, whose children are educated in this way? Giving children the freedom to study and live is a ridiculous idea that is unheard of. Like the Chinese New Year, you let Wang Xile take care of the New Year's money, and as a result, it was all sent to the Internet café!"

"Sounds ridiculous. However, on closer inspection, it is the right way. Don't you think that when Wang Xile is doing things now, there is an increase in the number of people asking for the opinions of adults? This is the beginning of the communication between children and their parents, and the quality of this communication will play a decisive role in the quality of life of the family. Money is tangible, and it can be earned if it is lost. But a good character can only depend on the lifestyle of the youth, which is the permanent wealth of life and an invisible gold mine. ”

"It's kind of like that. Now Wang Xile has become polite when playing games in the office, he can't hear a dirty word when he speaks, and he can still see the priorities of adults, and he doesn't dominate the computer. No one has taught him this, and there seems to be some truth in it. ”

"For many years, we have generalized the confusion between teaching and educating people. As a matter of fact, teaching is a kind of skill, a material one, easy to learn, easy to use, and a little difficult; educating people is a kind of philosophy, a spirit, and is implicit and difficult. When people are willing to accept the act of teaching, it means that the educator's thinking is developing towards simplification, and education will inevitably evolve into discipline. Teaching thinking to run education is a mistake in understanding, which will lead to educational behavior at the cost of depriving children of their right to freedom. If a child does not have freedom, education will not work well for him, or even have no effect at all. ”

"Your words are too big. The current students can't manage it tightly, and if they don't manage it, it will be chaotic in the future. ”

"Now students are difficult to manage, mainly because there were big problems in educating people in the early days, and it is not normal for students to be more difficult to manage when they are older, and there are no such cases in various species of nature. The older the students, the more difficult it is to manage, which is in essence a kind of revenge for the incorrect view of education in the past. Everyone has an upward heart. Regulation and education will not achieve anything other than 'controlling' people's upward aspirations. In terms of test-taking education, it is the test scores that can support the minds of students. The time and strength of score support are limited, and once the score is behind, the child may enter a state of unconfidence in breaking the jar and falling. If Wang Xile is allowed to participate in the score competition too early, he will not be able to escape the fate of being corrupted by his self-motivation. This is the fundamental reason why the older the student, the harder it is to manage. ”

"You have a peculiar opinion, but it's just your idea," said the wife, "and I've never heard that a good boy is not disciplined, only those who can't be disciplined learn badly." ”

"Under discipline, there are some children with good grades, but even more are tired of school. Discipline will be very harmful to a child like Wang Xile, who is lively by nature. If we don't seek a new educational strategy to balance this issue, there is a good chance that Wang Xile will get out of school early in the future," I said, "and after deep reflection, I am ready to try to let my son follow the path of his own education." ”

"Husband, there is no such thing as you educating children in China. However, I believe you understand education. You are developing your son with a growing educational mindset. I would like to tell you two points: First, I have no objection to you, and second, if you follow this path alone, you will certainly encounter many unexpected difficulties in the future. The wife said in a loud bass.

"I have thought about it countless times, and I think that according to my thinking, after Wang Xile is twelve or thirteen years old, the power of the mind will be formed, and he will have a certain self-ability, and no matter what, he will not be defeated by the evil of the future adolescent growth. I said firmly.

This conversation convinced me that whoever is going to give the greatest support to the efforts that have resulted will be given the most. How to get Wang Xile out of the influence of scores, gain a success mentality, and continue to make progress in many aspects is the most urgent task in front of me.