I always feel like I have nothing to say, but the fact that I haven't finished it is ironclad reminds me that there is still something to kill.

Is it the fear that your secrets will be exposed?

Is it the fear that life will be a mess in the future?

Are you worried about the ridicule of your friends and family?

Now it's not just that you can't control your life, it's that everything has become unknowable. I'm just that awareness, how do I know what laws and ideas are about the content of awareness?

The character knows, but it's only me that I perceive the character knows. Besides, the character's so-called knowledge is nothing more than undoubted belief, and there is no evidence to prove these so-called knowing.

What is holding me back?

It's a fake thing, but it can still stop me, it's really funny!

It's obviously empty, it's obviously artificially knitted, and it can still stop me. Moreover, judging from that awareness, even blocking is not a great thing, blocking is blocking.

The character of Yuan Changwen is uncomfortable, so it is uncomfortable to suffer.

If the character wants to kill and discard the false, then kill and discard.

If you can't do it, you can't do it.

If you can't finish it in this life, you can't finish it. It's done, it's done.

Depend on!

It's not communicative.

Yuan Changwen was very uncomfortable, but it was not a very strong pain. It's like something is wrong with your whole body, but there is no specific pain. I kind of want to cry, but I don't seem to have a reason to cry.

This kind of wrongness is a sign of being blocked, and it is clear that something is holding me back. Unfortunately, I don't know what it is.

Is it the killing itself?

If the killing itself is blocking me, then it means that there is no killing at all, but it is actually a fear of the future. I see killing as a means to improve my life, so I am afraid that the future will not be good enough, which leads to a sense of confusion.

Fear of killing has no effect, fear is not at all like the teacher said, you can get rid of fear. Perhaps, all this is just a scam, but how to explain the feeling of ease before?

There must be a place that is "real", but I can't necessarily get there.

If we can achieve "reality" by simply holding that "reality must exist" and "that awareness is everything", then this well-planned dream is too simple.

It's just being afraid of life!

Whether it's fear of money, fear of spiritual practice, or fear of one's parents, they are all afraid of life.

I still think that the distortion in my mind is correct, for example, I shouldn't leave the empire at all, I shouldn't give up the title of the first person in the empire at all, I shouldn't cut off my spiritual cultivation, and I shouldn't fall into the lake to seek death.

If you hadn't left the empire, what might you have been...... These words kept rolling in my head. It's not obvious, just a few thoughts that vaguely flash through me from time to time. At the end of the day, I didn't get rid of the twist in my head at all.

They are still arrogant in my head, and whenever I believe it, even if I say I don't believe it, I say kill or something, but some things can't fool me. Deep down, I still believe in the twists in my head.

After all, for all these years, this is the only thing I have believed in. It is also because of the belief in the distortion in my mind that I am alive until now. As much as this kind of life seems like nonsense, I still haven't cut off the twist in my head. Despite all the evidence that the twists in my head are a piece of shit, I still haven't thrown them away.

I'm still believing that a certain life is good. For example, it is the same as everyone, but it can't be too different, it should be better, so as to gain everyone's envy and attention.

It turns out that I am a coward. So many chapters of slashing didn't even get me out of the distortion in my head, really, I feel sorry for myself.

Don't dare to throw away these distortions in your mind, don't dare to abandon the so-called life, which is stenching like shit. How many times have I repeated it, but the distortion in my mind is still arrogant.

What am I not a coward?

Dare to say but not do, talk about killing, in fact, there is no killing at all. Like a newborn kitten, it does not dare to leave the familiar environment, and often touches unfamiliar things and leaves. But do I have a kitten when it grows up?

How I hope it will be over in the next second. Of course, this is just a luxury.

Why do you want to put yourself in this situation? Well, now I can't believe anything, even if I force myself to go back in time, there is a voice in my head whispering that it is all false.

Moreover, their emotions are not stable at all. The sudden discomfort struck instantly, without any warning at all. In this kind of emotion, it is almost impossible not to lose your temper with someone. Looking at the expressions of colleagues and listening to those false words, how can you stand it?

If you want to move forward, but you have no way and you are such a coward, how can you dare to stand up and move forward?

I want to go back, but I really want to go back to my old life, and I don't want to continue to sleep, let alone pretend to sleep.

So, it seems, there is no other way but death.

Since I won't go back, what are I still fantasizing about in my head? Alas, the characters have always been so contradictory. If logic alone can sort out the characters, then where in this world are there so many stories of love and hate.

The unknown is confronted, the complete unknown, because the road is to kill all that is known. What is known is not known, but ignorance, so there is no reason to keep it.

I shouldn't think about that, moving forward is what I need to focus on, and further is the wake-up call in my ears. I really don't understand how such a simple thing can become so complicated.

The situation can be explained clearly in one sentence, and the killing of so many chapters is ineffective.

Am I too mentally retarded? Or am the characters too strong?

But there's no reason to say how powerful a character is, how powerful a fake thing can be?

What's holding me back?

I felt uncomfortable, like lying in a swamp, I couldn't exert my strength, but I knew that I was not in the right state. I don't know what to do, it's taken so long to do something so simple.

Should I congratulate myself on the success of this orchestrated dream, or should I curse myself for my incompetence?

On the other hand, I'm just that aware. At this moment, just being aware of the helplessness and helplessness of Yuan Changwen's character is nothing more than that, and it doesn't mean anything.

It was supposed to be an attitude of indifference, but it was clear that I couldn't do it at all. Of course, this discussion is far away, and after the killing is over, it naturally doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter if I can't do it, it's because I'm clinging to something. Now, it's the slash that's all that matters. Seeing something that has been caught, and then slashing it, will naturally bring a sense of relief as before.

But what's holding me back?