I have to say that the previous wave of fear was too strong, and after it dissipated, Yuan Changwen suddenly felt a lot more relaxed.

Although it hasn't returned to the state where things are supposed to be, it's a lot calmer.

Every time he looked back, Yuan Changwen would feel as if he was not himself at all. Especially since the beginning of the self-definition, this feeling has become more and more intense.

Because Yuan Changwen was not me in the first place, he should have died.

Yuan Changwen couldn't remember his performance in fear just now, just like two people, or rather, after one person was transplanted with memories, he felt a little rusty.

Now that I think about it, I was so bad at that time, I could not be afraid of fear. Then invite fear in, and then see what is being feared, surrender to fear.

This is a suicidal war, killing the enemy will lose it, and only suicide can be won.

Actually, after surrendering to fear, I don't know what's wrong, and fear doesn't seem to be so fearful. The reason why fear is so frightening is not only the fear itself, but also our imagination that blesses it.

After surrender, fear has no energy intake, and the "self" will gradually shrink.

Yuan Changwen was suddenly a little eager to try, wanting to have another wave of fear to see if he could do it.

It's a pity that people are like this, at this time they are arrogant, as if nothing in the world can stump them. But when this pride dissipated, God sent all kinds of hell as requested, and he himself hid in a corner like a stray dog and shivered.

Yuan Changwen shook his head slightly self-deprecatingly, what else is there to say?

The unreal does not exist, and the real never ceases to exist.

(Damn!This feeling is coming!Huh!)

[Yes, I thought I had nothing to say, and then there would be fear again, and then I found myself again in some things, still agreeing that I still injected the so-called hard work. 】

[I don't know when it will be the end, and when I will be able to get rid of the pull of emotions. 】

(I thought about it, there is also a possibility that there is no end at all.) That is, in this life, because we take the first step to find the truth, and then we remain in this state forever until we die. ）

(No job, no income, or living a barely subsistence life.) Because I can't see the real thing, and what I see is not real, I can't enjoy it, and I don't want to communicate with people who are full of "self". No house, no car, no friends. ）

(Of course, the days of being out of place are not scary, and many otaku don't even go out for half a year.) The point is that we don't have any pleasures, and besides, we hate the "self", that is, we hate ourselves.

[I don't know, I don't know how long this state will last.] However, this is definitely not a reason for us to run away. I've been running away for more than 20 years, denying that life has no meaning. 】

If you've been like this all your life, so be it. Anyway, at that time, no one would care about me, and no one would even discuss it at all, "Look, Yuan Changwen is that idiot, and now he is not as good as a dog", no one discussed it and no one cared. 】

[I have already said, I am tired, I let go and let the "Dao" control my ship of life. Whatever, who cares? The part that cares is already suicide. 】

(But Yuan Changwen is not dead, we are no different from before, but we are uncomfortable from time to time.) Boy, let's go back, I really don't know what the point of this is?)

I just want to see what is left after all the falsehoods are removed! The former self has been indoctrinated too much, this thing must be done, and that thing must be done. 】

[It's ridiculous to think about it, there are already so many people in this world who have put forward the so-called meaning of life, but there are still people who will continue to ask. Why is this so, why are so many answers not satisfying themselves?]

[Because we know that even if these answers are right for a while, there always seems to be some pimples in our hearts that always feel wrong.] I'm going to see what happens when these falsehoods are removed. 】

(No one is doing that, everyone is fighting for their little family.) Thinking about my mother, she will definitely cry so much, can she just watch her suffer so badly?)

(Even if she says it, she should not be responsible for her joys and sorrows.) Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable in your heart? When others are pointing fingers at your mother behind your back, don't you blame yourself?)

Yuan Changwen had just been temporarily relieved, and at the moment he was covered with a little sadness. No one is immune to the tears of their parents, think about their hard work, and then think about the bastard things they do, there will always be an urge to be filial to their parents.

But how long can this urge last? Can that urge still exist when parents start nagging and start imposing their will on us?

Aside from sitting in front of friends, showing off a little, or showing off your filial piety on the Internet, that urge has long since dissipated.

Yuan Changwen is like this every time, starting with a strong impulse and ending with the nagging of irritating parents.

Obviously, I don't love my parents so much, why do I set restrictions like this, as if I have to think about my parents before doing anything, as if I must focus on my parents once I am involved.

[First of all, is my mother real? I don't know. I have memories of my mother, some good and some sad, and then I have some photos or stories to back it up. But can these things prove the real existence of my mother?]

[Secondly, it doesn't matter if my mother is real or not, because what affects me is only the self-definition in my head, and everything comes from my cognition. It's hard, but that's what it is. 】

[I have identified these false things as true, and more than twenty years have passed, and I have never doubted them. Now, if you have to dig these things down with your own hands, from the depths of your heart, of course, it will be very painful. 】

[What's more, these things are Yuan Changwen, they constitute Yuan Changwen as a person, and they make Yuan Changwen a different and contrasting person from others. However, all of these things are false. 】

(Fart!No distinction between right and wrong, no regard for morality, this is awakening?Phew! It's just a loser making excuses!What is the point of not being able to provide a good environment for your family in the world?)

[Therefore, if you go well, you will become an adult, and if you go against it, you will become an immortal. 】

(Fart!, what are you going to do with this kind of immortal?, don't have no family responsibility, don't work hard, don't struggle, let the "Tao" control everything, this is a loser's way of escaping!)

[Perhaps, worldly things are good at influencing themselves.] Those morals, those successes, those fetters, are all influencing me. It makes me think this is the truth, and makes me hold on to identity, belonging, meaning, etc. 】

[These things are like paintings on white paper, some people paint brightly, some people paint dullly, some people are colorful, and some people paint lightly. However, the picture is never real, only the blank piece of paper is. 】

Yuan Changwen was covered with sadness again, and gradually, sadness turned into discomfort.