Yuan Changwen sat on the bench, and the cool breeze in the early morning made people sleepy.

Of course, he didn't feel sleepy in the first place, and all kinds of thoughts were rolling in his mind.

On the one hand, the thought that he wants to follow the moral values of society until his death, and that everything he has done is absurd, makes it difficult for people to devote themselves to the construction of socialism.

On the other hand, if the definition of self-weaving is completely slashed, then it will inevitably run into some hard core definitions.

For example, the relationship between myself and my mother, my own family, etc.

It's easy to say that "self-woven definitions are all false", but it's hard to kill them.

According to this theory, if all self-woven definitions are removed, then the so-called lack of distinction between good and evil should be the norm.

There is no compassion, no kindness. There should be no difference between a child who has been crushed to death and a child who is singing.

Just thinking about it makes me feel terrifying.

Yuan Changwen is in such a hesitation, tired of the pull of emotions, and if he wants to abandon emotions, he must kill himself, because emotions are the product of the interaction between "self" and reality.

In my life for more than 20 years and almost 30 years, I have had laughter and sadness, and it seems that I laughed more when I was a child. But that's just because the memory is not reliable, as if ten years ago was always better than this year.

No matter what happened when I was a child, now is now, and immersing myself in any other time period is just a means of survival for the "self".

Yuan Changwen is really fed up, whether it is in reality or in the illusion of the jewel, emotions come and go when he wants, and he can leave when he wants.

What am I?

Fear strikes at any moment, sometimes so severe that you can't breathe, sometimes it's just a faint sadness.

They used me like a playground for unbridled play, and I didn't want to be emotionally pulled away and panic in fear to make any decisions that seemed ridiculous.

Whenever the fears leave and look back, those fears seem to be a joke. Every time, I told myself that there was nothing to be afraid of next time, but the next time fear struck, I still trembled.

Fear of having no money, fear of being despised, fear of living a bad life, fear of his wife sleeping with others, fear of being ridiculed by others......

Enlighten yourself every time, say that hard work will be rewarded, say that time will not be disappointed, and say that it is better to do things seriously than to have time to fear.

Are these useful?

How many people in the world are in fear, and how many have they saved?

If these methods are really useful and can rid people of fear, then there should be countless people who have been free of fear over the years.

But what?

How many people dare to stand up and say that they are free from fear?

Think about it another way, is there something wrong with these methods?

What's the use of just suppressing your fear and diverting your attention for a while?!

Someday, these methods will hit a bottleneck and they will encounter a fear that they will not be able to move.

We never look at fear directly, as if every time we encounter it, running away is the best way to do it.

Yuan Changwen already knew that fear was nothing but the effect of self-woven definitions in the brain, and killing the definition could get rid of fear.

Sometimes, nothing happens in the outside world at all, and just your own imagination can scare you half to death.

Killing self-definition is a path to a fundamental solution.

How, though?

It's not an entity that can actually slash with a knife.

Is it useful to imagine yourself swinging a knife and killing a self-definition in your mind?

Money is an objective thing, and in addition to satisfying the needs of the flesh for food, everything else is just an addition to the background. Now that I understand that definition, I wield a knife to kill the crazy desire for money.

And then what?

Yuan Changwen looked around and found that he hadn't changed much.

If he is asked to take more than half of the money out to enjoy or other expenses at this time, the ghost is willing!

What's the use? I still cling to the money and don't let go, the theory is completely fine, but it doesn't let myself get rid of the pursuit of money.

Do you have to keep convincing yourself every time this happens?

If persuasion is required, that in itself proves that it does not believe it.

In this case, isn't the act of "slashing the self-woven definition in the mind" a joke?

Yuan Changwen felt a sense of powerlessness, as if he was like an ant, trying to kill an elephant in vain, but he had no way to start.

"Young man, it seems that you have encountered troubles, do you want to come and practice Tai Chi to clear away the depression in your heart?"

An old man said with a pleasant face.

Yuan Changwen waved his hand and refused, but the uncle smiled and did not continue to force it.

Does Tai Chi work?

There should be, just that abdominal breathing method can make people a lot easier.

But after all, it is not the root of the problem, once the reality changes drastically, the meditation brought by Tai Chi may not last long.

Of course, after experiencing major events, you can understand your own insignificance. It's like those who have had a near-death experience, and when they wake up, it's like a different person.

The question is, how long can this last?

Yuan Changwen wanted to completely get rid of the pull of emotions, rather than relax for a while.

Then again, the original idea was just to get rid of "evil", and every time I experienced the emotion of "good", it would be happy and satisfying, and it would be nice to be in this mood for the rest of my life.

In fact, it's impossible. Without contrast, goodness cannot be good.

However, if both are abandoned, the conversation comes back to square one.

Yuan Changwen was dazed, at a loss, and a little frustrated.

Well?!

What's going on with this frustration?

Yuan Changwen was very keen to capture his emotions, and subconsciously began to think according to his own theory.

Why the frustration? mixed with a faint sense of disappointment?

What is the self-definition?

Depend on!

Yuan Changwen found that at some point, he began to expect.

Expectation shatters thinking about the truth of the world, and then what happens.

It's because nothing happened that I was depressed.

It's that demon again!

Inadvertently, it weaves self-definition again in my mind, frustrating me and preventing me from seeing meaning in existence. In the end, they want me to give up the pursuit of the truth and make me comfortable to live with my fears like everyone else.

I'm stupid!

Still struggling with whether to kill and how to kill it. As everyone knows, when I think about it like this, I have already stepped into the deception carefully prepared by the devil.

I thought that the definition of self-weaving was actually just a definition of killing demons there, and it was insignificant.

I thought I was breaking the truth of the world, but in fact, I just turned over and continued to sleep.

Finally, in the brain, it is formed, "I see through the truth, you don't, you garbage", and "I am killing myself to become a more perfect person" and so on.

Devil!

Why do you keep holding on to me?!

Yuan Changwen looked up and saw that the sky was already lit up, and the orange-red sun was imprinted in the depths of the clouds.

So, what should you do now?

Or rather, what do you want?

"Guy, are you still thinking?"

Before you know it, the seniors are already packing their things and getting ready to go home.

"Listen to the uncle's advice, there is no hurdle in this world that cannot be overcome! ”

Yes, what's so hard in this world that you can't get by?

What can hover all the time?

In the face of time, even the entire universe is scum. And myself, why should I dwell on the truth?

Can't be sure it's true, is it useful?

Everyone hasn't been living, working, getting married, having children, struggling, and working hard like this, so why should I feel uncomfortable with myself?

Wrong!

The demon whispered in my ear, and it didn't want me to keep thinking, it didn't want to see me explore the truth.

It's deceiving me, it's misleading me!

But why? Why does this demon exist? Or rather, what is the purpose of this demon?

It must be that the truth is so simple that it will do everything it can to stop me.

If it takes Ph.D. knowledge in twenty different disciplines to see through the reality of the world, then there is no need for demons to exist.

There is no need to elaborate lies to mislead me all the time.

Yuan Changwen made up his mind not to dwell on this, everything that hindered my exploration of the truth should be killed.

It seems that I have felt this way before, but after a good night's sleep, this heroism is gone.

Don't be pulled by emotions anymore, don't live in fear anymore, and don't add any meaningless self-definition.

I hate myself!