I always want to achieve the effect of slashing by imitation.

When something happens, I wonder what I would do if I was "in a state after killing a character". As a result, obviously feeling uncomfortable in his heart, and obviously having other impulses in his heart, he will be forcibly suppressed.

This imitation is pointless and will stop me from moving forward. Because all the energy is focused on parsing the "state after killing the character" imagination, not continuing to slash and move forward.

If I'm full, it's natural to have hiccups that naturally produce a feeling of fullness. But does it work for me to mimic that feeling of fullness just by mimicking a hiccups?

After killing a character, it is natural to have the "state after killing the character", which is simply a matter of course.

Moreover, this analytical imagination can appear to be moving forward, in fact, it does not hurt the character at all, and does not see what the character is made of at all.

The important thing is to move forward, the important thing is to kill. Everything else is just a delaying tactic for the characters and a means to distract me.

I should be like this, I should be like that, what is the difference between these words and ordinary self-definition?

What is the difference between the fact that I should strive for it in life and that I should hate man-made distortions? If I don't hate man-made distortions, why should I force myself to hate them?

I don't hate man-made distortions, which means that the characters are still retained, and at this time, it is obvious that I should analyze the characters and kill the characters, rather than forcing myself to hate the man-made distortions.

If you deny your emotions or reactions, you are dishonest. Like, when fear comes, I deny my fear and forcibly convince myself that there is nothing to fear. But in fact, I was already trembling with fear and was about to cry.

I admit that I'm scared right now, what's wrong with that? I admit I'm shrouded in fear, what's wrong with that?

It seems that this kind of acknowledgment will be very face-hurting, and it seems that "I can't be defeated by these negative emotions" or something like that. The point is, I've been knocked to the ground for a long time, is there any point in forcibly convincing myself?

If I can't even be honest, what can I talk about?

I don't need someone to tell me what to do, and I don't need a book teacher, think for myself!

I'm not done yet, that's the hard truth, and that's my goal. Then, by imitating the "state after killing the character", it is just a waste of time.

First of all, as for the "state after killing the character", this is just my imagination. It's hard to imagine, but I still struggle to imagine and take it as real. So, how do I know if my imagination is correct?

Secondly, when I see my own emotional reaction, I don't resist the emotional reaction, nor do I try to change my emotional reaction, but I dig out this emotional reaction, why I still have this emotional reaction, and which part of the role attribute is at play.

It's like when I see a beautiful girl with elaborate makeup, I can't help but take a few more looks. What's the use of just forcibly suppressing and forcibly saying that you hate and distort it?

But after digging deeply, you find that your aesthetic does not belong to you at all, and at this time, you will naturally have a sense of anger and hatred for this kind of deception. Then, hatred is even more false, and it will naturally be disgusted with artificial distortion, and it will naturally kill the characters.

Sometimes, strictly speaking, a lot of times, the fear of "selflessness" is stronger. Those aesthetics, those values, I will firmly grasp and not let go. Without these perceptions, the character is like an idiot. Plus, since the character weaves everything out of nothing, they're born with a fear of losing anything.

Because it knows that it is false and must be constantly recognized in order to survive. Moreover, the character is fear itself, but in a nice way.

My mind was full of twists, there were so many different settings mixed in, it had to be this and that, and I just followed these things and kept squandering my life.

Yuan Changwen felt very uncomfortable, not the discomfort of anger, but the discomfort of being infested by cobwebs. There are no restraints, no large cobwebs, just a few pieces of silk. But no matter what, it seems that I can't pull it clean, and I always feel that my skin is affected by spider silk.

Why am I afraid of achieving nothing?

Because the other characters are all successful in their careers and families, at least they seem to be. Then, it would be terrible for me to achieve nothing. In other words, the reason for the fear of achieving nothing is the desire to be recognized by others.

Of course, you can also whitewash and say that you want to live a better life. But why should I make myself better off if I am not being shown off to make others envious, if I am not seeing others better off than I am?

Going around and around, I still want to be recognized by others, and the character needs recognition.

Why do I want to be recognized?

Because only others can recognize me, then, can I recognize myself myself?

No, because I would say in the mirror: "Yuan Changwen, you are amazing, you are amazing, you just like you like this" and so on, after all, there is still a third person to recognize yourself.

Even if I use the first person, "Wow, I'm a genius" or something, I'm still standing in the third person and watching what I'm doing to recognize it.

In fact, there is no one else at all.

What I can interact with is always the dummy data in my head. No matter who is standing in front of me, what can directly feedback and interact with me is the virtual data in my head. It's just that I pretend that this virtual data doesn't exist, and pretend that a real person interacts with me.

What if no one interacts with me? As I imagined, no one can see me?

Is it only by being recognized that the existence of a character can be proven?

In other words, the character fears that he doesn't exist and must seek a lot of recognition. This kind of recognition is not only the praise of others, or the complaints of others, but also their own choices in the face of things, their own views and opinions, their own three views and all the things that can constitute the role of Yuan Changwen.

For example, I cling to morality, and when I want to do something that violates morality, I say to myself, "How can I do this?" and so on. It is equivalent to affirming some self-definition of Yuan Changwen's role from the side, recognizing the existence of the role and its own role attributes.

Yuan Changwen was very uncomfortable, as if he was on the verge of death, and the body was telling Yuan Changwen through this adverse reaction that he should act quickly or he would die.

Anyway, all of this is false, and the character of Yuan Changwen does not exist, and I have nothing to do with the character of Yuan Changwen.

Die and die.