"What are you doing at home on Double 11? online shopping, right?" Qin Luo asked on stage.

"Yes. ”

"I just made a successful chop. ”

"I'm going to eat dirt this month. ”

"I'm not like you, I've never been involved. Qin Luo said with a serious face, "It's not because I'm different, it's because I'm ......."

Speaking of this, Qin Luo wrinkled his face bitterly, "Because I'm poor." Because I don't have an internet at home, the Internet fee is quite expensive, and I am reluctant to spend that money to open 4G traffic. ”

"Babble~~"

The audience booed him.

"I'm telling you, online shopping isn't reliable. Qin Luo looked at the audience, as if chatting with a friend, and said earnestly, "The only online shopping in my life has taught me a profound lesson. Lu Yao told me before that you can earn money by raising parrots, and you can buy them back for 300 yuan, and you can earn 1,000 when you can talk. I'm intrigued, this is a good way to make money. So I bought one online and came back, raised it for two months, and this morning it chirped. ”

"Poof. ”

"Haha, you're not buying a parrot at all, it's a rooster. ”

"Good luck, eat chicken tonight!"

"In addition to online shopping fraud, phone scams are also emerging in an endless stream now, I teach you a trick that is absolutely good, it is my personal experience. Qin Luo said with a serious face, and the audience was also looking forward to his "tricks", "I will give you my Huabei account number, and I will pay back more than 10,000 yuan every month." The scammer will hang up the phone right away, and will block you and never call again. ”

"Hahaha. ”

"I'll go, that's what you're talking about?"

"Are you going to laugh at me to death, so that you can inherit my Huabei? Come on, hurt each other, I also have to pay back more than 6,000 a month, give it to you, all for you." ”

Qin Luo said with a look of hope and expectation: "Sometimes how much I wish that the money in my card could love each other and get married, and then give birth to many babies." ”

Immediately afterward, there was another gloomy face, "But they always seem to be infertile." ”

"Hehe, you just want to. ”

"That's what I dreamed of. ”

"My money is also infertile. ”

"Now that it's the New Year, you all have to go home, right?" Qin Luo continued, "People like us are embarrassed to go home. What's the matter, it's been a few years since I came out, I have achieved nothing, I have no money and no career, are you ashamed to go back?"

"What kind of transportation do you take every time you go home? It's either a high-speed train, a bullet train, and then a soft sleeper, a hard sleeper. As for me, it's a hard station. Qin Luo said with a bitter face, "Every time I stand for more than ten hours, the disc on my waist is protruding for me." ”

"Hahaha. ”

"It's the same waist disc, why are you so protruding?"

"Hey, every time I go home, I stand hard, and I cry when I talk about it. ”

"But, this time I'm good at studying, I'll go home early to avoid the peak of the Spring Festival. Qin Luo said with a happy face, "I went to buy a ticket two days ago, and I finally bought a seat after so many years, and I burst into tears at that time." ”

"I got on the bus with the ticket, and it was so cool to see that there were so few people on the bus. When I walked to my seat, I saw a very beautiful girl, who was very tall, with long legs, sitting on my seat. At that time, my whole blood boiled, is this the love that God has given me?"

"Haha. ”

"You're thinking too much. ”

"Let go of that girl and let me come. ”

Many viewers cheered.

"I'll go up and talk, and I said beauty, you sit in my seat. If you like this seat, why don't you sit on my lap and I'll sit below, and you sit on my lap?" Qin Luo said, imitating the reaction of the beautiful woman, frowning and glaring angrily, and scolded, "Go up, are you blind? Don't you see that this is my seat, I have a ticket here." You learn to talk to people, you don't look handsome, what do you talk to when you look so bad. Bah. ”

"Hahaha. ”

"There's nothing wrong with the beauty's scolding. ”

"Look at your bad color, and learn to talk to others, the last word of the beauty is the best response. ”

"Phew, you stinky and shameless, and you still sit on your lap, and if you don't give your leg a discount, it's polite to you. ”

"Qin Luo seems to be acting. ”

Qin Luo showed a scolding and cowardly appearance on the stage, "I had to stand aside and dare not say anything." Soon the car started, and then I finally couldn't help it, and shouted at the beauty: You stand up for me, you didn't sit in the wrong seat, but you got in the wrong car!"

"Poof. ”

"You're so bad that you wait for the car to start before telling someone you're in the wrong car. ”

"Haha, you can be regarded as revenge now. ”

"The distressed beauty got in the wrong car. ”

Qin Luo saw that the atmosphere of the audience was getting higher and higher, so he continued to say while the iron was hot: "After I go back, I will eat and chat with my classmates and friends who I haven't seen for a long time, it's very good, that feeling is really ...... It was my lost youth at sunset. ”

"Walking by the river after eating, everyone was in a very beautiful mood. But when they took out their phones, I was confused, Banana7, Banana8, BananaX, BananaXS, I don't have any of them. ”

"But I'm smart, I spent 30 yuan in advance to buy a model of a BananaXS phone, plastic, in my pocket. When I saw that they were all calling, I called too. ”

"Hey, Xiao Li, why haven't you returned the 500,000 yuan to us? Forget it, it's only 500,000, so I don't want you to pay it back. What about my class reunion, the signal is not very good by the river, what a broken phone. After speaking, he threw the phone into the river with a bang. Qin Luo said and made a gesture of throwing his mobile phone, with a self-congratulatory expression, "I was so cool at the time, it was too exciting, too pretending." ”

"Hahahaha. ”

"When it comes to pretending, I'll obey you. ”

"Nima, why don't you keep yourself in the river? ”

"Now class reunions have indeed become occasions for comparing and pretending to be like this, and I don't know when the atmosphere will gradually become like this. ”

Qin Luo is taking the opportunity to satirize this phenomenon of comparing each other in class reunions. ”

"Don't pretend to be forced, pretend to be forced to be struck by lightning. ”

The audience at the scene was deeply touched by this, and many people have indeed encountered such things in their lives, so they have a special sense of identity.

But Qin Luo's next words made them laugh out loud.

"I threw away my phone and turned around and left, I didn't take a step, and I don't know which classmate shouted behind me: Hey Qin Luo, your phone is floating!"

"Poof!"

"Hahaha. ”

"Bang bang bang bang. ”

"I knew that the plastic mobile phone model must have floated. ”

"Hehe, this outfit is forced to be struck by lightning. ”

The applause at the scene was like thunder, covering up Qin Luo's voice.